Yes, the night is always a time of reflection, always evokes negative emotions, always magnifies them infinitely.
After thirty days at home, the war finally broke out, and I knew it would come sooner or later.
The first few days of talking and laughing were just the calm before the storm, the brewing of what was going to happen next.
The cause of the matter is very simple, my father let my brother have nothing to practice writing, my brother is reluctant, has been dragging this matter, yesterday morning my father finally could not hold back, while scolding, while hands to beat my brother.
I was next to the pull to stop also to no avail, I simply can not stop the outbreak of this war.
The morning was just the beginning, things are slowly fermenting, when the fuse is burned out, there will be a bigger explosion to come.
In the evening Dad is even more fired up and has to make a scene.
When people are angry, they always love to mention old things and turn over old scores, and the father scolded, in his eyes, my mother did not have the ability to know only to protect, in his eyes, my brother did not study well, in his eyes, I do not have a lot of hope, but also do not listen to the love of stubbornness ......
It seems that he looked at the home of all the things are not good eye.
The noise attracted the grandparents, but the drama didn't end there.
02
Dad was bad-tempered and cranky, and that's how he was to everyone. He always lost his temper, and it seemed that the only thing he was dissatisfied with was that someone else was wrong, and it was always someone else's fault.
It is true that his younger brother is not good at school, but he can't really be faulted for anything other than his studies. As long as not study, do other things he is always the most diligent. There are times when I feel that he bears the maturity and understanding that children of this age shouldn't have.
My brother's reluctance will naturally bring about a beating from my father, but he is already sixteen years old, and beating is the most unsuccessful form of education.
This age group of children are in adolescence, but I can not see the shadow of rebellious sensitivity in my younger brother, but rather an unusual maturity.
Dad hasn't gotten out of bed for a day, he's been in bed all day.
In the evening during dinner, when my mom brought the rice to my dad, my brother and I stopped our chopsticks unannounced and quietly listened to the movement in the room, afraid to hear the sound of a fight.
We've become sensitive to this point.
Last night, I don't remember how I fell asleep. I only remember having a terrible headache, as if I was going to explode the next moment, and my eyes hurt so much that I couldn't open them, and I kept wanting to vomit.
After crying all day, I ended up having no energy left.
03
When I was a kid, I watched Blarah's Little Magic Fairy, and I was especially envious of the little magic fairy who had magic, and no matter what difficulties she had, she could solve them with her magic, and even if she couldn't solve them, the Queen of the Magic Fairy would come out at the end.
When I was making a lot of noise, I wished that there was magic in the world.
I am afraid to go home, there are only two kinds of home, one is that no one is at home, I am afraid to guard the empty room by myself, the other is that the whole family is there, and I am afraid of quarrels, quarrels between parents, quarrels between fathers and children.
I am afraid of the dead silence, and I am afraid of the dead hustle and bustle.
My favorite thing about school was the bright escape.
My brother and I were brought up by our grandparents. When I was small, I didn't know what it meant to be a left-behind child, I only knew that I couldn't mention the words mom and dad.
I didn't dare to mention it, and I was afraid of other people mentioning it, because I couldn't remember what my mom and dad looked like, and I was afraid of people laughing.
My mom and dad never had any memories, if I have to say there is, is one year they came home, I stood at the door and asked them who they were, I do not remember what they look like at that time; and that is that they argue once a year.
I am most afraid of quarrels.
Every time they quarreled, I would hide in the house, covering my ears and not daring to let out a cry.
A happy person is cured by childhood all his life, and an unfortunate person cures his childhood with his whole life.
I don't want to admit that I am the unfortunate one, at least I have sound limbs, I am still alive.
In fact, I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of my death, my grandparents have no one to take care of, I am afraid of my face wrinkles day by day increase in the mother to be aggrieved, I am afraid of my younger brother in the future no one to help.
There are times when I really hate my dad.
When I was young, I didn't have a good education, and when I grew up, I just lost my temper and scolded him.
I do not deny that more communication more communication. But this word used in his case, simply does not work.
I even think the best way to stay with people who can't communicate is not to talk, so at least you can avoid arguments.
Before someone asked me about my future life, I answered that the ideal life is one person, one room, one hall, one kitchen, one bathroom and one dog, and I don't want to live for too long, thirty years old is enough, for me this is enough.
I don't dare to live too long, I'm also afraid of getting married, after getting married is not the endless quarrels and can't see the light of the darkness?
04
Silent Confessions describes,
The family is sometimes a prison in the name of love, and the terror is that the door is unlocked, but you do not dare to push the door out.
The only thing you can do is to growl and accept all the arrangements of love until you end up drowning in it, or being separated by time.
I saw the Zhihu user said, "Parents are the greatest destiny of the child", whether we want to admit it or not, the gene is like a brand engraved in the soul.
Yes, the influence of the family of origin on a person is always subtle, and when we realize it, those influences have already penetrated into the bone marrow.
We spend our lives trying to get rid of the bad ones.
It is because I can't get rid of it that I have such a character. I can't reject others, I am a bit introverted, I am afraid to look at others and communicate with them, and I always feel that I am not good enough.
In the eyes of the onlookers my good temper, but also a thousand holes under the disguise.
I didn't realize I was crying until the tears dripped onto the keyboard.
I looked out the window, the sky is already dark, outside the square dance song is still so lively.
How I love the night, only at night I can release myself. As soon as the day breaks, I have to live again with my so-called shell.
If life is like typing, I can type out my future according to my will, and I can go to control the direction at will.
It's already 2021, I'm almost twenty years old, maybe it's just like the age of flowers.
Good embarrassing age, I am not a child, but I do not have the ability of adults, I am not strong enough, not enough ability to support the family.
The night is already deep, but I can't see the moon outside the window.
I can only hear the sound of snapping and typing in the room, and the lively square dance songs outside.
Hello, I am millet, welcome to the public number source to be millet ah look for me to play!!!
The article is true, life is very bitter, I hope we walk through the difficult days together?