Asked at a bar, a man said resentfully to his drinking buddies, "I never thought that my wife would be unfaithful to me."
"What happened?"
"She didn't come home last night, and when asked where she went, she told me that she was with her sister all night."
"Isn't that true?"
"She's lying because I was the one who was with her sister last night."
There is a boy in the high school class surnamed Jiao, one day and he made a bet, what bet forget, he asked: you lose how to do? Answer: I lost my last name with you Jiao (they think it is ~ ~). The voice is loud and clear, the results of the class day burst into laughter for 10 minutes ......
One day, Xiaohui went to the hospital to see a doctor because of back pain.
She said, "Doctor, why does my back hurt so much?"
The doctor looked at her and shook his head, and Kei nervously asked, "What's wrong?"
The doctor asked, "Did you go on a date with your boyfriend last night?"
Xiao Hui said, "Yes!"
The doctor then asked, "You went on a date to the cemetery, didn't you?"
Kei says, "Uh-huh!" (Megumi is very embarrassed to answer)
The doctor said, "Did you exercise too hard?"
Kei said, "Doctor, you're amazing, how did you know all that?"
The doctor said, "Because your back surfaced 'Hsien Kao Ke Gong ...... of the tomb ...... of the filial male... ...filial grandson ......"
The octogenarian, who is strong and vigorous, was asked about the secret of his health, and he said, "Because every time my wife quarrels with me, I go out for a walk. For fifty years, it's been mostly outdoors.
I was born into a very poor family, and I remember when I was a child, my father's life was so boring that all he could do was count money all day long, and my mother's, too, sweeping up money all day long.
At a tea party, a woman asked a neighbor sitting next to her, "Who is that ugly guy across the street?"" It's my brother．" The man replied．
The woman who asked the question looked very embarrassed and stammered． After a while, she stammered, "I'm so stupid, you brothers look alike, why didn't I see it?"
One day a man went to his fiancee's house to play. It was raining heavily when he was leaving in the evening, and his fiancée persuaded him to stay the night, and after that she went to prepare the bedding. When the fiancée was ready, she realized that her fiancé had disappeared.
After a long time, he came back, drenched like a drowned chicken.
The fiancée was surprised and asked, "Where did you go?"
He replied, "I, I went home to get my pajamas."
A grandfather saw other young men standing in line, he wanted to see, he asked the other men; "Young man, why are you standing in line?" The young man smiled and said; "Grandpa, we're getting our passports!" The old man also wanted to get a passport, so he went to the end of the line. When it was his turn, the other man asked him: "Name", "Li Kanghai", "Age", "86", and the other man looked up and saw an old man. He looked up and saw an old man. He said, "Master, you have no business here, please go back." The old man said, "Why? Aren't you getting your passports? Look at me, I'm very old, I should have some bodyguards to protect me!" The person fainted on the spot when he heard this.
A man and his wife walk into a dental hospital.
The wife says to the doctor, "I'd like to have a tooth pulled, but since I'm so busy, I don't need an anesthetic, just please get it out as soon as possible."
The dentist was amazed and exclaimed, "You are a brave lady, now please tell me which tooth you want to take out?"
The wife turned her body toward her husband, "Honey, open your mouth and tell him which tooth you're going to pull!"
The chemistry teacher (male) was talking about the properties of ethanol and said, "The functional groups in ethanol are hydrophilic groups, and the disposable diapers for babies have a layer of polymer that absorbs and retains water, which contains hydroxyl groups. There is another kind of supplies also contains this substance, female students may know better, I do not use." The class erupted in laughter!
The homeroom teacher said to us, "There will be a teacher-student pep rally this afternoon, and the students will enter through the west door; no one can enter the east door, which is for teachers."
Wang Xiaoming said to his tablemate, "Yesterday, I only wrote one wrong word in my composition, and I was severely beaten by my dad!"
The table was surprised and asked, "Which word?"
Wang Xiaoming said: "It's just that I wrote the name of the ancestors as "bad ancestors".
There was a child who lost his memory, one day the teacher asked him what his name was, the child replied; "I'll ask the parents," he asked his mom, only to see her go to answer the phone, and she said, "It's you, isn't it!" He went back to ask his dad, who was consoling himself and said, "There's nothing to wonder about." He went back to ask his sister, who was on the phone, and she said; "Yes!" He went to ask his brother again, who was eating ice-cream, and he said, "Good!" He went back to ask his aunt, who was chatting with her lover online, only to see her say, "Go away, darling!" By tomorrow, the teacher is still asking the same question, and he says, "It's you, isn't it," and the teacher is puzzled, and he adds, "There's nothing to be puzzled about!" The teacher said, "Stand up for me!" He said, "Yes!" Class is over and the teacher asks, "How was it?" He said, "It was great!" The teacher immediately got mad and said; get your ass to the office!" He replied, "Honey, go away!!!"
The teacher often taught in class that one should never laugh at others' flaws and misfortunes when they see them, and one day, Kobro said to the teacher, "There was a kid in the schoolyard today who fell into a puddle, and everyone laughed, but only I didn't laugh." "You did the right thing." The teacher praised, "Who fell into the puddle?" "It was me." Buro replied.
When the school roll call began, one of the classroom teachers got creative and said to the students, "I'm going to read out the school numbers, and you're going to give your own names so that we all know each other, okay?"
"No. 001!"
"Report teacher, my last name is Jiao, my name is Jiao match." The teacher was a little dizzy and asked, "Who named you this?"
"My father." "What does your father do?"
"Runs a pig breeding factory!"
"002!"
A girl stood up, "Reporting to the teacher, my last name is Zhang, my name is Zhang Dekai."
"003!"
"Reporting to the teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother, my name is Zhang Kailai." "Who named you guys?"
"It's my dad, he sells pliers." The teacher hurriedly took a drink of water.
"Number 004!"
"Reporting to the teacher, my last name is Au (the word is pronounced "o") I'm Au Night (oh yeah), my mom named me, she said she happened to blow up a computer game when she gave birth to me." The teacher's heart got a little queasy.
"005!"
"Reporting to the teacher, Ganny Niang!" "Why are you cursing?!"
"No! Teacher, I mean my last name is Gan, Ganny Brew, and my dad makes wine." The teacher took a pill.
006!"
"Teacher, my last name is Gou, and my name is Gou Ignore."
"Your dad owns a bakery, right?!"
"Teacher, you are so smart!" The teacher was already a bit unsteady on his feet.
"Number 007!"
"My last name is Kuai (read fast, pronounce the third sound.). Called Kuai Cargo."
"Don't tell me your dad owns a cargo store."
"Teacher, you can be really old-fashioned, my dad is a pimp." The teacher's mouth was already oozing blood from the corner.
"008!"
"Teacher, go to hell!" "What? What did you say?!"
"I'm saying that my last name is Ni, and my name is Ni Go Temple. My mom is a believer in Buddhism, my name is interesting, right?"
"Interesting, interesting." The teacher was on the verge of tears.
"Number 009!"
"Teacher, next time." "Why say it next time, you say it now!"
"No la! Teacher, my surname is Xia, called Xia Huishuo, my dad is a storyteller." The teacher already felt the sky spinning.
"010!"
"Teacher, my last name is Gao, my name is Gao Wan."
"My last name is Mei, Mei Conscience."
"My last name is Wu, called Wu Qing."
"My last name is Mao, and my name is Mao Rongrong." ............
The teacher looked up to the sky and growled, "Oh my god, what a bunch of students I've stumbled upon!" The teacher sprayed blood from his mouth and fell to the ground, dying.
Jay Chou took Jolin Tsai to drink water at the Chow Sing Pool, suddenly blew up the Tse Ting wind, from the water out of a Wu Chi-Lung, Wu Chi-Lung hand-held Zheng Yi Jian, riding Wong Ka Kui, snatched Jolin Tsai; Jay Chou hand-held Chou Wah Chien, stepped on Wen Zhao-Lun, tumbled over the Zhao Benshan, through Guan Zhi-Lin, leaped over the Pan Chang Jiang, snatched Jolin Tsai, back to Aaron Kwok, but also in the city to hang up a flag, called the flag of Renxian!
Mathematics class, most of the students are drowsy, some even the body has been ambushed on the desktop. The teacher saw this situation is quite angry, said: "students, you even sleep in math class, how can this learn good Xi it? Look at our class of a Wang Xiaoming listening to the lesson is how engaged, and you compared to a world of difference!"
So we screwed our heads to Wang Xiaoming's position, only to see his head down, a deep thought.
At that moment, his deskmate touched him, and he slowly tilted his head back and yawned widely as my class laughed wildly. The teacher slammed the desk and told us, "An honor student is an honor student, even sleeping, he's listening to the lesson."
My very close male classmate fell to the ground, and I asked to show my concern: "Your butt hurt, didn't it!" I accidentally said "your ass fell dead," and the brother stood up, patted his ass, farted, and said, "I'm not dead, I'm still gasping for air!"
I have a friend who has just read "The Legend of the Eagle Shooting Heroes" and is very interested in the "dog-beating stick method" and often jokes about it with others.
One day, he did it again. He kicked someone else and shouted, "Kick the dog's leg!" Everyone laughed wildly, and he felt embarrassed, so he kicked again, yelling, "Kick the dog's leg!"
The shortest essay
The teacher asked the students to write afterthoughts after watching three episodes of a teenage TV series at home at night. Ming didn't watch the TV series, and the next day, he wrote a two-word essay, "Blackout!"
When the teacher saw this, she told him that he was lying, that it was impossible to have a blackout, and told him to write another one after watching the second episode at night. Ming still didn't watch it and wrote a five-word essay, "The TV is broken."
The Highest Mountain
During the exam in geography class, there was a fill-in-the-blank question on the paper that said, "The highest mountain in China is (). Xiaoyong filled in the "Erlang Mountain" without thinking. On the day of the assessment paper, the geography teacher called up Isamu: "In class, I talked about Mount Everest 8848.3 meters high, is the world's first peak, you do not know?"
Xiaoyong said, "I know. But a few days ago I heard a song sung in the 'two ah Erlang Mountain ah. I'm not sure if you're a good person or a good person. I carefully calculated, 10,000 zhang to have more than 30,000 meters, that is much higher than the Zhumulang Peak!"
The genius who was struck
The composition book was sent back, and Ah Guang looked at it and said indignantly, "Why was I hit with a big cross? It's not fair!
New Discoveries
Teacher: "What do you think of Li Bai's poem 'The moonlight before the bed is frost on the ground'?"
Student: "Li Bai must have been nearsighted."
Benefits of being a teacher
Xiaoming: "It's good to be a teacher."
Teacher: "What's good about it?"
Xiaoming: "You don't have to spend money on reading comics and playing video games, just confiscate the students!"
The origin of the Han River
In geography class, Xiaoming's mind wandered. The teacher asked him, "Where does the Han River, the first tributary of the Yangtze River, originate?"
Xiaoming was so anxious that his head was sweating, which gave him a flash of insight, so he answered, "Sweat originates from the head."
Class bell
In physics class, the teacher was sick, and the principal hired a substitute teacher from another class. The students naturally messed up, the teacher threatened to lure a class, we still do not think, just when the class is almost over, the teacher even whispered: "Speak again can not hear the bell!" The teacher even whispered, "If you keep talking, you won't hear the bell!" The classroom was silent.
Tactful defense
The teacher reprimanded the class duty student said: "The blackboard is so dirty, the rag is dry, the globe on the ......" said he wiped his hand, "all gray. "
"Oh, teacher," said the day student, "where you wiped happens to be the Sahara Desert."
Mrs. complained to Mr., "You don't know a thing about women's hearts, and are always reluctant to tell me what I love to hear."
Mr.: "Well, remind me what you like to hear."
Mrs.: "At least the name must be changed, do not always call 'wife', call three words, intimate some of the."
Mr.: "I understand, old lady."
It's time for Passover. A newlywed couple doesn't understand the tedious rituals of the holiday, so the husband tells his wife to peek in and see what the neighboring blacksmith's family is doing. The wife approached the window and saw that the blacksmith was beating his wife with a coal shovel! When the wife returned home, the husband asked her what she had seen, and she always refused to tell him. Finally, the husband got angry and picked up the coal shovel and beat her. She cried, "If you know all about it, why did you send me?"
By the lake, a painter was painting when a man and a woman came behind him.
They look at it for a while, and finally the husband says to his wife, in an irrefutable tone, "See, dear, how distressing it must be not to buy a camera!"
Sleeping baby in swaddling clothes, sometimes surprisingly quiet, I rushed to use my hand to find out whether there is still breathing, Mr. so I laughed at me "nervous". The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that! I could not sleep, so I twisted his arm. "Ouch!" He laughed and said, "What's wrong with snoring? Let you know I'm still alive ah!"
Woman: "People talk too much when they are old."
Male: "According to this, you have never been young!"
An insurance company employee was teaching his wife how to drive.
The car was going downhill when suddenly the brakes failed. "Oh my God! The car won't stop."
His wife yells, "What am I going to do?"
"Pray." He instructed his wife, "And then find something cheap to crash!"
A man named Wei asked his wife, "Someone's child is named Loan Shark, how about a rich name for our child?"
The wife replied, "It's easier to name our child, why don't we just call him Wei Sheng Jin (tampon)!"
In the middle of the night, the husband, still drunk, pushed his wife awake: "Hey, our house is haunted!"
Wife: "How do you know?"
"Just now I went to the toilet, just opened the door, the toilet light on its own, and when I finished the toilet and closed the door, the toilet light went out on its own 、、、、、、"
"Do you still feel a ghastly wind blowing?" His wife asked with concern.
"Yes, it was a cold wind 、、、、、、"
"You bastard!" The wife roared "You pissed in the fridge again!"
Once upon a time, there was a Mrs. Wang in the village of Wangjia.
Once when her husband came back from a trip, Mrs. Wang said to Brother Wang, "Since you went out, I've been living frugally at home."
Mr. Wang asked, "How did you save money?"
Ms. Wang said, "I can't feed the leftovers to the pigs and chickens three times a day for fear of spoiling them, so I just add pork, eggs, sesame oil and green onions and stir-fry them, and then eat them at night!"
Mr. Wang said, "I'm more frugal than you are outside! I am afraid of wearing bad shoes, the road always spend money on the car!"
Wife: "Last night after you went to bed, I patched up the hole in your pants pocket. You say, am I a very considerate person?"
Husband: "That's for sure! You have always been very considerate to me. But, are you able to tell me how you found a hole in my pants pocket?"
A man often returns home in the middle of the night, sometimes all night, the wife is very troubled. She thought about it and finally came up with a brilliant idea. This day the man went out without a key, came back in the middle of the night to knock on the door, only to hear his wife in the house to speak: "How do you come now, my family that deadbeat will be back in a while, you go." The man was furious. But after the night almost do not go out, even if you go out before 11 o'clock will be back. Highly skilled.
In the superstore, a man approached a beautiful woman and said to her, "I lost my wife, can you talk to me for a few minutes?" The woman was very puzzled and the man explained, "I can never find her either, but every time I speak to some pretty woman, she always appears out of nowhere ...."
A chubby young lady is married to a skinny gentleman. The wife is in charge of all things at home, she said 1 husband dare not say 2. one day! The wife's heart is in the right place, contrary to the norm, put on a whiny voice, said proudly: husband! Do you love me? Hubby replied in a definite voice: Of course I do! The wife was satisfied with what she heard and continued to do housework. After a few minutes, the wife could not hold back again and ran to ask her husband. "Hubby... Husband... You just said you love me, are you afraid of hurting me?" This time the husband replied in a trembling voice, "No! I was afraid that you would hurt me."
Caretaker Woman A: "Patient 505, completely desperate."
Caretaker Woman B: "Yah, why? He was just holding my hand and talking for ages."
Caretaker A: "Exactly, just now his wife saw him."
The couple was going to a masquerade ball together, and when they were leaving Mrs. suddenly did not feel well, so she said she would not go, and Mr. had to go alone. After taking her medicine at home, Mrs. felt better and had a sudden desire to see what her husband was really doing when he was alone, so she changed her outfit and went to the masquerade.
When I saw Mr., he was flirting with a woman, Mrs. suddenly angry from the fire, want to go to the code to scold him a bloody head, then thought, why not play him some? So Mrs. show all the charm, so that Mr. only around her, the two also in the garden of the caresses ...... dance is almost over, Mrs. returned home early, but has been waiting until almost 3 o'clock Mr. only to come back. Mrs. asked Mr. how to play, Mr. said, "Bored to death, the whole night I was playing cards, but there is a guy borrowed my clothes and masks to play very happy, and when he left, he told me that he had a most wonderful and passionate night." Mrs. "Ah ......"
Two friends get their paychecks and decide to go for a drink.
One of them is a little worried: "My wife is very powerful and will probably not let me in the house."
"I come home drunk and strip naked outside the door before ringing the doorbell. When my wife opened the door, I hurriedly threw my clothes inside. She saw me naked and immediately let me into the house."
The two met the next day.
"Hey, how did your wife treat you yesterday?"
"Ahem, never mind." I walked to the door and stripped naked. The door opened and I threw my clothes out of my hand ...... when I heard a voice from the door, "Please pay attention, now closed. The next stop is People's Square."
The colleague's daughter, Chenchen, is one and a half years old. One day, the colleague bumped into her aunt, so she hurriedly called her daughter: " Quickly call auntie good!" Chenchen obediently called: "Witch (aunt) good!" The coworker's aunt laughed and waved her hand, "I didn't say hello, how did you become a witch? Do it again." Chenchen looked at the shape of her mother's mouth and earnestly called out again, "Hello, Witch!" The frightened aunt hurriedly called out, "I'd rather be a witch, so you can call me a witch."
A patient went to the hospital to seek treatment, the doctor asked: which side of you are not comfortable? The patient replied: I had a dream last night that a cow was eating grass.
The doctor then said: don't worry, it's normal, everyone also dreams, dreams and reality are not the same.
Only that patient was very nervous and said: But ...... but when I got up I realized that half of the grass mat on my bed was missing...
) A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doc: Wow, that's serious. Since when? Patient: Since I was a bird.
2) A neurologist asked a patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears? That patient answered: then I would not be able to hear. The doctor listened: hmmmm. That's normal. The doctor asked again: What would happen if I cut off your other ear? The patient replied: I wouldn't be able to see. The doctor became nervous: How can you not see? The patient replied: Because the glasses will fall off.
3) There were two nervous patients who escaped from the hospital. They ran and ran and climbed a tree. One of them jumped down from the tree and rolled and rolled. Then he raised his head and said to the man above him: Hey ...... why don't you come down ......? The man above answered him: no ...... line ...... ah ...... I'm not cooked ......
4 (The neurological hospital there is an old lady, every day wearing black clothes, holding a black umbrella, squatting in front of the neurological hospital. The doctor thought, "To cure her, we must start from understanding her. So the doctor, also wearing black clothes and carrying a black umbrella, squatted there with her. The two of them squatted there for a month without saying a word. That old lady finally opened her mouth and spoke to the doctor: Excuse me ...... Are you ...... also a shiitake mushroom ......?
5) a psychiatric hospital heard that the leadership to come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the director called a meeting of the patients at the meeting, the director said: "This afternoon, there is a very important leadership to visit, all the people to go to the door to welcome. In the welcome, all the patients stand in the hospital on both sides of the entrance, to stand neatly, when I cough, we applaud together, the more enthusiastic the better; I stomped my feet must all stop, there can not be a mistake. If we all do well, we can eat meat buns tonight, as long as there is a person who messes up, all the people will not have buns to eat, remember?" The patients on the stage shouted, "Remember!" That afternoon, the leader arrived on time, when he stepped into the door, the welcome of the patients have already stood in the doorway, then, with the director of the hospital coughed, all the patients applauded together to welcome, the atmosphere is very warm. The leader who came to visit the hospital was infected by the warm atmosphere, and with a smile on his face, applauded and stepped into the hospital together with everyone. Seeing that the leader had already entered the hospital, the dean stomped his foot, and all the applause stopped, very neatly. Only the leader was still smiling and applauding as he walked forward, and the dean felt very satisfied. Suddenly, from the welcoming crowd sprang out of a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger, striding to the front of the leader, swung round and gave him a big slap, angry and unusual roar - "you don't want to eat the buns?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
6) Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office back to the ward. He asked B, "What do you think of this novel I recently finished?" B looked at it and replied, "It's not bad. However, there are just a few too many characters". At that moment, the nurse from the mental hospital came in and said, "Put the phone book back!"
8) Two mental patients, Mr. A and Mr. B, were recovering at the same time, and their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you gets sick, the other one has to send him to the hospital immediately." Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang, and it was Mr. A: "Oh no, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, saying he is my toilet." "Quickly, send him here!" Jun A was silent for a moment, "Then ...... won't I have no toilet?"
9) In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and screamed, "Are you out of your mind, can't you see it's an empty fish tank?"
10) There was a neurological hospital where many psychopaths lived. One day, the director there, in order to see how the patients were recovering, thought of a solution. So he said to these patients, "Come here, all of you, and with that he drew a door on the wall and said, "Today, whichever one of you opens this door can go home." As soon as the psychiatric patients heard this, they swarmed around the painted door. The dean felt very disappointed, when he realized that one patient was still sitting in his original position without moving, and thought it was okay, so he went up to him and asked, "Why don't you go and open the door?" He looked at the dean and said something that made the dean laugh and cry. The patient snuck up on the dean and said, "I have the key here."
11) Patients in the psychiatric department of a hospital often have a love affair with doctors or nurses. One day, a female patient approached a male doctor ...... Female patient: Dr. Blue, do you love me? Dr. Blue pondered for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient so as not to worsen the condition). Dr. Blue: What about us is the relationship between the doctor and the patient, because you are sick so I have to take good care of you ...... (In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Blue explained half a day, finally explained.) Female patient: Dr. Blue, you mean you don't love me? Dr. Blue (thinking hard): hmmm ...... hmmm ...... hmmm ...... female patient: okay ...... I love Dr. Chen ......
12) a psychiatric hospital new to a nurse, this first came to see the hospital has a patient around an ancient well to play turn in reading: "13, 13, ...... The nurse was surprised to see a patient playing around an old well in the hospital, chanting "13, 13, ". She could not figure out what the meaning of "13" was, and she observed the patient for several days in a row. She always wanted to go up to the patient and ask her what was going on, but she was afraid that the patient would have a seizure and never dared to do so. One day, the nurse could not hold back her curiosity and slowly walked to the patient's side and looked into the well. Suddenly the patient held the nurse's legs, down a lift, began to read: "14, 14, 14, ......"
13) A patient screamed: I am the dean, you all have to listen to me! The attending doctors and nurses asked him: who said that? He replied: God said so. At this point, a patient next to him suddenly jumped out and said: I didn't say that!
14) A patient goes to the doctor for the first time. "Did you ask anyone about your condition before you came here?" The doctor asked "Only the owner of the pharmacy on the corner," the patient replied. The doctor hated the fact that people who weren't doctors often gave medical advice, and he didn't hide it: "What kind of bad advice did that idiot give you?" "He told me to come to you."
15) In a psychiatric hospital, a patient was writing a letter, and the nurse saw it and asked him curiously. Nurse: Who are you writing to? Patient: To myself! Nurse: What are you writing about? Patient: You're sick! I have not received how to know
16) There is a psychopath, I do not know where to get a pistol, he walked in a small black alley. Suddenly he meets a young man, and the psycho 2 say nothing and plant him on the ground with the gun to his head! Asked: 1+1 = how many? The young man was terrified! After pondering for a long time, he answered with fear and trembling: Equal to 2``? The psycho doesn't hesitate to shoot him! Then tugged the gun in his arms ~ coldly said: you know too much
Foreigners learn Chinese language at the beginning of not knowing the meaning of the always make jokes. A foreigner learns "How are you?" and realizes that it's a greeting when you meet someone. The first time I saw him, I realized that it was a greeting for meeting people. When he saw his Chinese friend, he excitedly said, "How are you?". When the other person was surprised, he thought he had made a mistake, and then thought, "How's your mom?" The other side is even more surprised, and then again, "How are you, mom?"
After the midterm exams, the math teacher wanted to announce the results, and he said, "The number of people above 90 and above 80 is the same, and the number of people above 80 and above 70 is the same." Words said play, the class a cheer, a student asked: "Then ...... failed the number of people?" The teacher did not hesitate to answer: "The number of people who failed and the number of people in the class is the same as the number of people."
Today, my daughter came back and showed me her arithmetic score, which was only 80 points. I was so angry that I said to my daughter, you won't look up to the person in front of you. He said the person who did it in front of him only got 50 points.
Baby: "Mommy, can I have twenty dollars?"
Mom: "Go go go, no."
Baby: "Mommy, if you give me the money, I'll tell you: what Daddy said to the maid when you went up to the beauty parlor."
Mom: "Okay, take it! What did he say?"
Baby: "He said, 'Wang, iron this shirt for me.'
Mingming ran out of the house crying. The neighbor then asked, "Mingming, what are you crying about?"
"Daddy hit me!"
"Why is daddy hitting you?"
"Because I stole something from someone."
"Ming Ming, that's what's wrong with you, remember what Daddy said when he hit you!"
"Remember, dad said, next time I come back from stealing useless things, I'll break my legs!"
Once upon a time, there was a child whose name was Xiaoming, and he had a problem, that is, he couldn't write the word that he didn't ask his parents or his teacher, so he just threw the word away and didn't write it, and there was a piece of writing that Xiaoming wrote, "I have a good father, and my father loves me, and I love him, too, and my father's health is not good, and I went to buy a human being for him. I picked a fat and fat people, buy home, cut into pieces, and began to steam people, steamed people, I served a bowl of human soup to my father, the teacher looked scared, and Xiaoming said: ginseng ginseng I will not write, so he fell
Schools invited to the district's experts to give the students on the sex knowledge lectures, the results of the experts pulled the progress of the work of family planning for an afternoon, and finally in order to increase the fun piggybacking on the Nvwa legend of the creation of man.
No one on the stage responded, and the expert was a bit embarrassed, so he ordered a girl in front of him to answer, and the girl whispered, "Is it because she doesn't know how to make a man? The expert inspired: then why she does not know how to make a man? The girl replied: Is it because she listened to your lecture?
A certain boy was born fox odor, low self-esteem, every time you go out to put a lot of perfume under the armpits to cover. One day he overslept, woke up too late to wipe the perfume and rushed to the classroom, wanted to sneak in through the back door, but was caught in the act. The teacher was very angry and said seriously, "How many times have I told you not to be late? This very much affects the normal teaching - this student is even more excessive, late even if, how to bring a lamb kebab?"