01
Married at the age of 27, pregnant with pregnancy and vomiting travel, know that after the fifth day he rolled in bed with someone, a one-night stand. After being forced to miscarry, more than two months, less than 16 days after the miscarriage to help their company overtime.
After a few years of quarrels and bumps, 29 years old that winter night he yelled at me, let me roll, I packed up my clothes and left, a person squatting on the floor of an unopened street store and cried for two hours. He apologized and begged me for forgiveness, I was tired of filing for divorce and never wanted to see him again, he and I agreed to do the formalities for more than half a year.
When I left the house was under renovation, the landlord of the apartment I was temporarily renting wanted to sell it, so I had to move out within three days. After paying the marble money on the body and fifteen dollars, the car was taken away from him, no money to play moving, riding a bicycle round trip seven times a little ants moving. On the way to move, I received a call from my brother that my favorite aunt had passed away, and I told my family that I had to go back a few days later. Because if I don't finish moving within three days to urge the workers to install the electricity in the room, I will be sleeping on the street, this is something that I don't want to let my family know. After moving things, I couldn't afford to hire an aunty to clean the undecorated house, and I spent the whole day on the floor with a washcloth, starving, and with no money for food.
Fortunately, when moving, I found a piggy bank with a jar full of coins, so I went to eat a bowl of Lanzhou ramen with the coins, and exchanged coins with the owner for more than 200 dollars.
Before the fight renovation borrowed more than 100,000 dollars, naturally, I also paid. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to find the best way to get the most out of your life, but I'm sure you're going to be able to find the best way to get the most out of your life, and I'm sure you're going to be able to find the best way to get the most out of your life. In the middle of some human warmth and not detailed, think too bitter ......
After almost 1 year, often insomnia, high mental tension, resulting in endocrine disorders, and triggered polycystic ovaries, ate seven months of traditional Chinese medicine.
Now, I'm back, owe the credit card, borrowing are finished. The first thing I want to do is to get the best out of the world, and I want to be able to do that, and I want to be able to do that.
Just now, I cried again, because of polycystic ovary syndrome to prepare for pregnancy has not been prepared, I am almost desperate, he 35, the only son of the family, I will soon be 33, said do not hate the scum is false, but after crying I still appreciate life and fate, suffered so much suffering or give me hope and luck.
May you and I break through fate and be embraced by warmth.
02
My hardest and poorest time was in 12 years.
I was sixteen that year.
I was born in ninety-six, and I graduated from junior high school in 2011, which was the most glorious time period in the first half of my life, when my grades hovered for a long time in the top fifteen of my class, the top forty-five of my grade, and the top three hundred in the county.
The score on the midterm was 678.
This period of time I think was the time when my mom was most proud of me.
However, a year later, may be a serious bias more and more serious problems, I am on the mathematics and chemistry basically to a class can only listen to five minutes, and then naturally in a kind of daze mode, coupled with the high school arts is not as simple as the junior high school, my grades have seriously declined, if the results of my efforts to make up for the words, then the other thing is that I resolutely chose to take a break from school the main reason. I'm not sure what I'm talking about.
My homeroom teacher confiscated my cell phone.
Maybe you think it's nothing, confiscating a cell phone is a very common thing, but what if I told you that the cell phone is full of pictures and novels of gay people that I just downloaded?
When I was in my first year of high school, I began to have doubts about my sexual orientation, and my interest in boys slowly emerged. I was terrified, and I began to search for relevant information on the Internet, and those large-scale pictures eroded my body and mind, and I couldn't study at ease.
But in the countryside, I was especially afraid of people knowing about these things, so can you imagine the panic when the class teacher confiscated my cell phone and I hadn't had time to lock the screen because I was panicking.
I'm afraid that he knows my secret, I'm so afraid that he will look at me strangely in the future, and I'm even more afraid that my classmates will know like this.
If I drop out of school, then even if they know that I can not hear their ridicule it
This kind of idea came into being after the can not be annihilated, I began to silently prepare to talk to my mom after I dropped out of school will be how to do how I like frying, I can go to learn to be a chef.
I didn't expect my mom to agree with me so quickly, I was surprised, but she just said let me not regret it.
I didn't think so, the trepidation of wanting to hide a secret and the rebelliousness of youth made me think that the earth revolved around me.
The destruction of reality came quickly.
After dropping out of school, I went to my mom's side, and that's when I realized that my education and age were unacceptable in many places, and that the only choice I could make was the factory.
I don't want to go, I spend every day at home to play, the third month when my mom can't stand it, she said to help me find a job, is in an industrial area of the factory warehouse manager, in fact, I don't want to go, but I didn't dare to say it.
Because I saw my mom every day in those three months, I thought I could make her less burdened by dropping out of school, but I didn't, and she was just as tired as ever, tossing and turning every night.
She had a severe herniated spinal disk.
Every night I could hear her tossing and turning in her bed so clearly that my conscience made me think I had to go to the club class.
But the job didn't last long, three months later, I resigned because I had a fight with another administrator, I knew I'd be fighting with him if I stayed, but I thought I couldn't win the fight with my hands, and instead of taking the heat, I'd simply walk away.
My mom didn't say anything when she saw me coming back, and she continued to work early and late.
Fortunately, those three months I only spend very little money each month, more than two thousand a month's salary I saved down five thousand, the money let me quit my job every day to sleep until 12 noon, and then get up to go out to eat, and then go to the Internet, and then the middle of the night to run back.
Coming back only to find that my mom had left me dinner.
Don't believe me, I really felt like a thunderbolt had struck me, and I turned off the light and sat on the porch to smoke.
I felt really meaningless.
Maybe I had a thousand dollars or so in my pocket at the time, but I didn't know what I could do, and I didn't do anything about it, and I was falling every day, and everyone says that poor people's children are early adopters, but I was embarrassing my mom every day.
I could hear my neighbors gossiping behind my back.
I sat in the doorway with a cigarette in my mouth and smoked it, and my passing neighbor walked past with contempt, and I remembered that when I finished my midterm exams she used to smile and get rid of me to help her grandchildren with their tutoring.
Smoking I especially want to cry.
It's not terrible to be poor, but I'm really a poor person, and that's the worst thing.
I really wanted to die in that moment.
Because I felt that I was too sorry for my mom, who had worked so hard to bring me up all by herself, and as a result, I had nothing to give her, nothing to repay her.
The next day it rained, and at 8 or 9 o'clock I was woken up by the sound of the rain, and when I woke up I found my mom sitting on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the raindrops outside the door.
Her eyes were dull, like she had lost all hope.
Have to get up I opened my eyes just wanted to swear I was silent at once, I looked at my mother sideways, found that she really aged a lot, my mother is young when very beautiful, but because and have to pay back the debt owed by my father before he was born, and have to properly provide for me as a grandparent, she fell all sick.
I got up with a weak heart and then chatted with her and went grocery shopping with her, she was quite surprised because our relationship was very stiff during that time.
I could feel she was happy that day.
The rain stopped at dusk, and I accompanied her to the park, where a group of old ladies could not bear the loneliness to come out and hide in the place that was not wet by the rain to dance.
My mom's eyes lit up, her mouth hummed along, and I could tell she seemed very interested.
So I asked her if she wanted to join in.
"I have to work, I don't have time, and I've asked before, it costs five dollars to learn a square dance, so forget it."
After she finished speaking, she rushed in the direction of her home.
I froze in place.
What can I do with five dollars? It's not enough for me to play League of Legends for two hours, or to eat breakfast, or to buy a cup of milk tea.
But my mom wanted to save it.
I don't know if she wants to save it to pay the rent or save it, but I do, truly, feel like an animal.
A sudden urge welled up in my chest to run up and talk to my mom.
"Or I'll go into the army."
Eh, my mom had long wanted me to go into the military, both to exercise me and not be called a parasite, but I was afraid of being tired and had refused.
My mom laughed at that, it was the first time since I dropped out of school that I had seen her laugh so much.
On the way home, she was softly humming the song she had just heard, her footsteps relaxed, and every now and then she looked back at me.
Eyes are lost and found in my pride.