November 27, 13 weeks.
The teacher praised me for my neat and tidy desk.
The mother of the child was impressed that the child could do her own work without the help of her family. They are not as "lazy" and "uncaring" as the adults say.
It is said that the mother of the child is more than enough. The parents are too diligent, but will make the child lazy, incompetent. The parents are lazy, and the children are generally better able to take care of themselves and are more independent.
My mother is like that. I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to do, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it in a few hours.
When I was a kid, I used to read, "Why are you so lazy? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this! I'll do it!"
When the grandmother, she was a two children, health, three meals a day, well organized. She often chatter granddaughter: "You are as lazy as a snake, shouting can not shout!" -- as said me 20 years ago.
Mother eh, it is not that I we are lazy, but you yourself to do all the things, often other people do not meet your high demand. In the long run everyone is less motivated, do not love to move, they are accustomed to it.
Chinese parents, on the one hand, take charge, on the one hand, and on the other hand, accuse the child of "not doing, can not do"!
The parents who are too hardworking, do too much, control too much, will let their children (and even their partners) get into the habit of sitting on their hands, and their abilities will not be practiced.
And the benefits of capable parents?
First, and most obviously, hardworking parents are generally more capable of creating better financial conditions for their families.
Secondly, the parents are diligent, the general hygiene of the home is also relatively clean, providing a good home environment for children. The children of such families are generally more organized, and the children's temperament and body are better in all aspects. The children of such families also tend to be more successful.
Third, hardworking parents, generally high quality of life requirements, pay more attention to children's education. The parents' positive attitude and their commitment to creating a better life are the children's endless spiritual wealth, and their children's education is also better.
As for me, after I got married, I also cleaned up the house neatly like my mother. To make my mother said, "Strange! You are hygienic?"
Why do capable parents like to take care of everything?
First, it's a habit. The first is that they are used to it. The parents have been working hard all their lives to provide for the family. The child is a child, used to do everything for the child; the child grows up, parents also habitually continue to do, can not stop. Until the child becomes an adult, probably until the child gets married and starts a family - has been accustomed to pay for the child.
Secondly, where the sense of value lies, parents don't have a life of their own. Most, especially post-60s and older parents, have spent their entire lives giving around their family and their children - it's their greatest source of fulfillment. Suddenly they are told not to do it, and for one thing, they tend to feel they have lost their sense of worth, and for another, they don't know what they can do.
Third, the lack of educational awareness. The parents have an old man and a young man, and their shoulders are heavy and busy all the time. Some parents often lack the sense of education, do not know how to let go. In reality, "do it yourself" is much easier than "teach your child to do it". It's a lot of trouble to teach him to do it! The kids are still young anyway - and if they're not careful, they'll still be the same when they're older.
It's hard to let go of the parent who is closest to the child.
It's not easy for me to let go as a classroom teacher either.
Teaching the text "mom sleeps", I asked: "Sleeping mom is so tired, what can we do for mom?"
The children raised their little hands: "Give mom a back rub!" "Help mom sweep the floor!" "Help mom wipe the table!"
I quickly stopped: "Sweeping the floor and wiping the table, is mom's job alone? You are also a member of the family. These jobs should have been done together. To say 'sweep the floor and wipe the table at home'!"
The children paused and shook their heads again. One child said, "I'll do the dishes around the house!"
The children in the back of the room immediately took heart, "I wash socks at home!" "I'll do the dishes at home!"
Children often say, "Teacher, I'll help you sweep the floor!" "Teacher, I'll take out the trash for you!"
I deliberately emphasized: "In the future, you can not say 'help the teacher sweep the floor' such words, sweeping the floor to take out the garbage is originally your business, now you are small, the teacher is teaching you, helping you! It's to help you do it yourselves!"
There's nothing wrong with parents being able to do it, but what's important is to establish the concept that there is a sense of nurturing children from the bottom of their hearts.
There is a saying that all love points to closeness, but only the love of parents for their children points to separation.
The biggest task and responsibility of parents, in addition to feeding and clothing the child to raise adults, the most important thing is to let the child can live independently, parents and children to realize the "separation".
Parents love their children and plan far ahead.
Parents can't be with their children for the rest of their lives. You have to be willing to let go.
I. Create awareness: not only in doing things, but also in educating children.
There is a story circulating on the Internet:
There was a factory owner who told his children to work hard in the factory every day. A friend said to him: "You don't need to make your children work so hard, the workers can make the products just as well." The factory owner replied : "I am not making a product, I am educating my children."
The same is true for parents. There are some things that adults can do, and it may be faster to ask a child to help than to "do it for him". But not only are you doing something, you're also educating your child.
Such as, from a young age, their own schoolbag, organize the room. Let him do it, teach him a few more times, and it's okay if he can't do it right. Slowly, he will always learn.
If you don't let him do it, he may never.
Two, something to do, something not to do.
To help your child, there are some things that you need to do, and some things that you can let go and let the baby do by himself.
For example, when the child is young, you can call the child to get up and send the child to school; and dress, wash, clean up the bag of these jobs, you should let the child do it yourself;
For example, the child has become a family, you can give the child appropriate support. Support part of the down payment, do not help him make monthly payments; help bring grandchildren, not 24/7 all set, night or weekend should let the child take over.
Don't worry, the baby has grown up, he will do well.
Three, the child does not have to be completely according to you.
The hard-working parents are demanding of themselves and of their children. Often they will demand that their children must have their way.
For example, dressing. Which clothes the child wears and how he or she wears them. Adults can suggest, not necessarily mandatory, or so upset. Then it is not necessary.
If the child, not according to your way, they are anxious to criticize the child, the child's enthusiasm is frustrated, the child will become "lazy".
Often, children don't do things exactly the way you want them to, but they still do things well.
Don't worry, kids will grow out of it.
Four.
This is for parents and for children.
Parents life, not only for the family, for the child life. When children grow up, they need to live for themselves as well. At a certain age, in addition to accompanying the grandchildren, if you can, you can play a small card game, square dancing.
Children, you are also the same oh! Your parents can't accompany and support you for the rest of your life. Sooner or later, you have to live independently!