The phone rings!
Student A: Class is in session, class is in session.
Student B: Eh, class is in session, class is in session, hurry up, hurry up, class is in session.
Student A: Good day, class president.
Student B: Hello, eh, I heard that our class has a new class teacher, or a woman.
Student A: I don't care if it's a man or a woman, I'll just kick her out.
Student B: Uh-huh.
Student C: Eh, you two good.
Student A student B: Good morning!
Student C: so early to come, eh, have not heard of our class and change the class teacher.
Student A, student B: I know, I know, I knew.
Student C: Eh, and still a woman.
Student A student B: also know, also know.
Student C: Eh, why don't we stay and straighten her out. I'll give her a nickname.
Student A: Eh, not bad, this idea is good.
Student A: Eh, not bad, that's a good idea.
Student C: Eh, called trumpet flower.
Student A: Horn flower, too vulgar too vulgar too vulgar.
Student B: How about this? Let's nickname her Old Mother Hen.
Student A: Ah, old hen.
Student B: Uh-huh.
Student A: Now the bird flu is very serious.
Student A: Bird flu is very serious now.
Student C: Yes.
Student B: that call, eh, simply so well, call her spinster.
Student A student C: good good ~~~~~
Student A: this is good, this is good, this is good.
Student B: This is a good idea. Then you will call it good later? （
Student C: I'm not calling.
Student B: Then you call (pointing to student A)
Student A: I don't call either.
Student B: Then you don't call, she doesn't call, who calls?
Student C: Eh, there is, stay a fool to come, let him call.
Student B: Eh, good idea, good idea.
Student A: This is a good idea.
Student B: Silly, class is in session, class is in session, class is in session.
Silly student: come on. (Jumping lap dance appearance) ~ ~ laugh what laugh ah? Haven't seen a handsome man ah
Student A: Eh, eh, fool.
The student who is a fool: Uh-huh.
Student A: There is a new homeroom teacher in our class. We nicknamed her spinster. When she comes, you call Oh.
The student: I do not call.
Student A: Why?
The student: You always lie to me, every time I open my mouth, you shut your mouth.
Student A: No, I won't lie to you this time.
Student B Student C: Right.
Student A: Let's all shout together.
Student B, student C: Uh-huh.
Silly student: not lying to me this time?
Student A, Student B, Student C: Uh, yeah, not this time. Call together.
The stupid student: well, together.
Teacher: Hello everyone, I am the new class teacher. I heard that the students in this class are particularly difficult to teach, but I'm very loving, and I will put my
love, to sensitize them. The students are good!
Student A student B student C silly students: old.
Silly student: good virgin.
Teacher: Which young student shouted teacher is a spinster, please step forward. (Student A student B student C backed up together) ~~ small students, please stand
up.
Silly student: Uh-huh.
Teacher: You stand up firmly.
The teacher: the ground is not flat.
Teachers: You know what it means to be a spinster.
The teacher said, "I don't know what to do, but I'm not sure if I can do it," he said.
Teacher: I have confidence and I have patience. Little student, please go to the office with the teacher for a moment.
Silly student: what for?
Teacher: Teacher treats you to chocolate.
The teacher: I'll give you some chocolate.
Teacher: Really, come on.
The teacher: Really?
Student B: Eh, this is called a spinster still eat chocolate?
Student C: Yes, if I had known that we also called which.
Student A: That's right.
Teacher: I invite you to eat chocolate, Dove, Goldie's, eat ah eat, you eat full ah. (Walking out) I never physically punish my students.
You can come out.
Foolish students: came (dancing lap dance).
Student B: Eh, what happened to you? Silly.
Student C: Silly, are you okay?
Silly student: the teacher hit.
Funny skit linesA: everyone has a pair of hands, everyone has fingers.
B: nonsense, who does not have fingers.
A: Fingers have long and short, big and small.
B: That's right, this is open-eyed to tell the truth.
A: But the more I look at it, the more I like it (thumbs up), the more I hate it (index finger).
B: five fingers into a fist, how can you say which one you love and which one you hate?
A: Alas, you do not know, in my family "thumb" is my father, "index finger" is my mother.
B: how the more I say the more I do not understand?
A: For example, one day, I was praised by the teacher in kindergarten, really happy!
B: is to be happy.
A: I jumped back home and shouted "Mom!".
A: I jumped home and happily shouted "Mom!
B: Then your mom must be very happy.
A: But who knows, just after the words, "index finger" came.
B: What?
B: What?
A: (stretching index finger) "index finger" is my mother. "How do you do, clothes dirty like this, and where to run wild?"
B: Alas, your mom can really powerful.
A: I was thirsty and just wanted to take an apple to eat, "index finger" came again.
B: and what?
A: (stretching index finger) "How do you know how to eat, write quickly, write not finished can not eat!
B: eat are not allowed?
A: I just sat down to write two words, I want to pee.
B: Alas, this urine is not disputed.
A: Oh, I can not hold it!
B: Then go quickly.
A: no ah, "index finger" and came, (stretching index finger) "you this child, really lazy donkey on the grinding shit and urine, quickly do your homework!
B: Alas!
A: so, the "index finger" of the repeated appearance of my homework are not in the spirit.
B: No one else would have had the spirit.
A: the more spiritless, the more mistakes, the more mistakes my mother criticized me.
B: This is called the "vicious circle".
A: you say I can not hate it? （
B: "index finger" in your house is really boring, then "thumb"?
A: "thumb" is different, GOOD! GOOD! You're great! You're awesome!
B: Look! I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
A: This is not, I just finished my homework, Dad came back. Push the door so full of smiles, appreciation, said (thumbs up) "son, you're great! You know how to study at home." A sentence said I strange embarrassed.
B: Look, a praise, like a ray of sunshine.
A: In return, I went to my dad to get slippers, newspapers, turn on the TV -
B: See, give a little sunshine, he will be brilliant.
A: As a result, Dad praised me again (thumbs up) "My son is really good, just know how to be considerate. I said, my son is the best!" I heard that, not to mention how happy!
B: Look at his beauty!
A: you say I can not like it? （
B: is that like, even I envy your family's "thumbs up."
A: you can not like it?
A: "Thumbs up" means praise, "index finger" means criticism.
B: the world which children do not like praise?
A: So, in the future, if I have a son, I will use this (thumbs up) more!
B: Alas, that is still early.
A: you say, they can be the same?
B: is not the same, even the expression is not the same, "thumbs" is this (smile), "index finger" is this (fierce look).
A: How I wish my mom is also this ah! （
A: How I wish my mom was like this!
A: ah (scared away)?
B: Alas, look at him scared!
Fan Wei's classic sketches funny lines
1. The gap between people and people is so big!
2. Big brother, you want to smash just smash me!
3. This is between the patient and the patient in the discussion of the condition, you blindly involved in what ah you!
4. Brother, I really smoke!
5. Abducted a year to sell a year, fate ah! I'm not sure if you're going to be able to get a good deal on this, but I'm sure you're going to be able to! The crossword is: self-learning!
6. Why don't you follow the rules?
7. The sea is endless, turn back is the shore.
8. I'm not going to kill you!
9. General people I do not tell him.
10. Lying, then lying!
11! The earth ah! Which angel sister to me out of this breath ah!
12. IC, Ip, IQ card, all tell me the password!
13. Waiting for ...... later ...... I ...... I want to rob a color.
14. You also ignore me, I became a dog ignore.
15. Nothing to say, all in the wine.
16. Alas, on ...... you think this matter has ...... interesting?
17. abandon the spoon from teaching.
18.
19. This person stands at a different height, the perspective of the problem is different!
20. Foolish, too foolish, you old fool! I'm not going to be able to do that.
21. IQ is something, give ...... to me to bring!
22. Marriage is the second reincarnation of man, your old uncle I did not cast a good!
23. A lifetime of looking at a woman is not scientific, easy to see the disease.
24. Rich man, no money man difficult ah!
25. This child is too mindful, rush ...... hurry to make a backward riding donkey. This child which can do this small business, people have to do big business!
26. At least I'm a glasses wearer, how can I do this?
27. Can not get the favor of lesbians, get are hurt.
28. I eat carotene, which is old and nutritious! Just now I did not see the apple?
29. This job is quite dominant ah?
30. On the success or failure, life is bold, big ...... big deal ...... start over again ...... again... ...
31. To get by in life, not afraid to carry a little green on the body. Crossword: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
32. Is your dad big or is the city big?
33. Money is a son of a bitch, no more to earn!
34. You respect me a foot, I respect you a foot, respect the personality of others, to establish a model image!
35. Higher jobs are better than higher pay, higher pay is better than higher life, and higher life is better than happiness.
36. Upton accompanied, the next accompanied, finally accompanied by a gastric ptosis ......
37. their own way, let the ex-wife regret to go!
38. what? I ...... I am ...... the bodyguard of the general manager of the Kaiyuan City Vi ...... Victoria Entertainment ...... Plaza!
39. bed before the moonlight, grains of pain; raise your head to look at the moon, a higher level.
40. Happiness is: I'm hungry, see others holding a meat bun, he is happier than me; I'm cold, see others wearing a thick jacket, he is happier than me; I want to go to the outhouse, on a pit, you squatting there, you are happier than me.
Feng Gong classic quotes_Feng Gong classic lines_too funny
1 If I were a girl, I would have fallen in love with me.
2 My sister-in-law married me She was my sister-in-law at first.
3 Listen to the comedy 20 up to thirteen thousand, and then laugh and add money!
4 The comic world I film and television acting the best, the actor world I director guide the best, the director world I screenwriting the most ingenious, screenwriting world I comedy said the most amusing. This year, we have to play a comprehensive strength.
5 Comedy is good! It's a great way to promote truth, goodness and beauty, and patchouli.
6 The kung fu is more profitable than the streamer, isn't it?
7 What do you want, sir? Don't ask!
8 live in a house full of holes, a rain counted on the life of the family: outside the small rain inside the rain, outside the heavy rain inside the rain, sometimes the rain is too big, the whole family went to the street to avoid the rain.
9 The door opened, down two small nurses, he ```` long thief a beautiful, 1 meter seven big, big eyes, cherry mouth, a wide small waist, with the retreat of the stewardess like, you see it!
10 Just when I was difficult, I saw my girlfriend, and her boyfriend in a piece.
11 I don't even believe in the punctuation of your words.
12 Why do I keep feeling unhappy, is it because I am not at home when happiness comes knocking at my door.
13 I finished the bachelor's degree to learn the master's degree to read the master's degree to read the doctoral degree, you finished the doctoral degree I martyr.
14 Harmony is about calmness.
15 You are at most a naked replacement for the male nine...
16 I'm a scientist, a scientist with a moral compass.
17 Whoever doesn't know him hasn't eaten pork.
18 Hooligans know martial arts, no one can stop them. If a scientist can do martial arts, the rascals can't stop him.
19 I look for that looks like Zang Ao every year buddy pinch a (face)
It turned out that I was gone for 11 years
You came out of a women's soccer team lineup ah!
20 Want to be famous, first publish a book want to publish a book, first accident!
21 Friends congratulate you! Ah, can you wear it a little bit, you see is not the same, more shabby than just now.
22 You do not look very white.
23 Received a job, finish can earn three hundred thousand
Took a look at the drawings, cover a 40-meter chimney, etc. Covered, people came to take a look at the people to beat me a pass, the drawings to see the down, people let dig a well.
24 flights, by playing Xizhimen open to Zhongguancun, the ticket price of 5 yuan, please boarding. You say this is more interesting. The stewardess stood there and had to shout, fast on fast on a big seat, a big seat.
25 Two mouths are not necessarily good feelings, good feelings are not necessarily two mouths; comic masters do not necessarily say comic, singer is not necessarily know the score.
26 You underestimate me Feng Gong, I Feng Gong is engaged in art, real art is priceless. The real art is priceless. When you have money, you think, when you have money, you think, it depends on how much money you have, right?
27 Dancing after all to find the pipe.
28 Who ah regiment you say what virtues and arts double regiment where I have what virtues and arts ah
I just often with the disease to participate in the performance (sit down) that the disease is all pretend.
The last time my father was in critical condition, I didn't even go home (sit down).
The other day, I sent two hundred dollars to a child who was out of school (sit down).
The glass in your window broke two days ago, and I put it in place (sit down), and the glass is my pawn (cei)
29 On the table there are four dishes, open the first one to look at it! It's so good! The first one is a dish of peanuts in old vinegar!
Open the second one and it's even better! Old vinegar peanuts!
The third one, peanuts, no vinegar!
The fourth look, a plate of vinegar!
30 low profile! It is the most awesome show off!
31 How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting inside the toilet, or waiting outside the toilet
32 I stopped the road walking that woman ready to rob, a question to know is laid-off women workers, the more said the more poor, and finally I gave her five dollars.
33 I admire myself too much, sometimes when I look in the mirror to myself kowtow!
34 Why do I often have boogers in my eyes, it's because I love sleep so much.
35 Their family members do not go out and pick up things even if they lose.
36 The comic has to work hard, I'm sweating here, you see people do not sweat, people that Han have been raised.
37 The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear my pants inside out.
38 The airplane is also diesel.
39 Too Poor Lyrics version... Quickly use nunchucks . Humming hai ~~~ this is over ~ you two dead this ~~
40 Mr. Fan's daughter let the hooligans insult. Stand up and carry the basket and said: scared me, I thought robbing eggs that.
41 There is no road in the world, walking more people, there is a road is useless.
42 Those of us after 80 .
43 In fact, I used to be quite tall, but then often bathed shrunk.
44 This young man looks, the face blocked with an actor like
45 Everything has to look down, it will be very happy, you're unemployed, people that have lost their virginity, your daughter-in-law did not want you, she did not want me ah.
46 There is an English name, two bald.
47 What do you call it, you do not say ah, you say that counts as cursing.
48 Fall down, get up and cry again~~~
49 Would you like to be my next ex-girlfriend?
50 I have become a sycamore, even the phoenix are running to me this fall, I do not believe that I can not recruit you back this house sparrow!
51 People and not smart, but also learn others bald.
52 Mrs. Teacher, you will be from the old line!
53 I'm used to being on the bed at home.
54 Nowadays, how many blonde, blue-eyed, beautiful eyebrow aristocrats across the ocean are crying out for a Chinese green card, and are desperate to get into the arms of the unmarried men of the CCTV Spring Festival Gala?
55 Mrs. Shi, you are the devil in my heart, the poor monk closer to you, the farther away from the Buddha
56 Another, say a what? Say something practical!
57 I hate myself, this little tree can't keep, a flying bird like you.
58 I am not a yuan, how can I make everyone like me?