Especially now, the vast majority of parents advocate having money to raise their daughters. Of course, they don't want their children to go to the man's house to endure the pain of poverty.
Therefore, some parents like to intervene when facing their children's emotional problems. In their view, they did this not to hurt their daughter, but for her own good.
We don't know how many things parents have done in the name of being good to their children, but one thing is certain, those self-righteous parents are actually good for their children.
In fact, there is no such thing as "for your own good" in this world, because feelings are never "what you want to give each other, she wants." If your efforts can't reach the other person's heart, you might as well not pay.
Because once you pay, you will have expectations for this relationship, but if the feedback you get is different from your inner expectations, it is easy to be disappointed.
0 1.
Aunt Wang and I are from the same village. She is 56 years old. She used to be an accountant, but later she retired early for physical reasons. Since retirement, Aunt Wang has been active in the square dance queue frequently, just like my mother likes dancing, so in the long run, the two have a lot of intersections.
Aunt Wang is not a local. She married in a foreign country when she was young. Because she can't speak dialect, although she is in the same village, there is little communication between us.
Aunt Wang has been married to her husband for 30 years, and her eldest daughter, Mix, is 29 years old. She has never been married. At this age, she is an older woman in our village. It is conceivable how worried Aunt Wang is about her daughter's marriage.
At first, I didn't know that Mix had a boyfriend, because I heard from Aunt Wang that her daughter had never been in love at this age, and she only knew how to study and didn't know how to fall in love. Maybe she is stupid in her studies.
The first time I heard someone describe my woman like this, I was actually a little surprised, but later I learned about Aunt Wang's family, but I felt normal.
Because Aunt Wang's family is poor and she is from other places, even though she married Mix's father, she still can't get the favor of her mother-in-law. On the issue of treating her daughter's marriage, Aunt Wang said that she only asked for one thing, that is, the other family must not be poor.
I asked her, how poor? She thought about it and told me that at least she must have a house and a car to get the bride price, right? I asked her again, how much dowry would she give if she married her daughter? She was obviously surprised at my question. Maybe in her opinion, marrying a daughter doesn't need a dowry, and only marrying a daughter-in-law should give someone a bride price.
02.
Aunt Wang also has a son named Yang Yang, who is three years younger than Xiao Xiao and has reached marriageable age. But I have a girlfriend and my family conditions are not bad, so Aunt Wang didn't say anything.
However, in the face of her daughter Mix, Aunt Wang's attitude is different. Mix has a boyfriend. In fact, Aunt Wang knows it, but she doesn't like the man's family, so she doesn't recognize their love relationship.
In aunt Wang's words, "love can, but marriage can't." Mix talked with her boyfriend for almost three years, and finally her parents urged her to get married, but Mix never gave a positive attitude, because her mother didn't agree, so her boyfriend and Mix finally broke up.
Knowing that her daughter broke up, Aunt Wang was not worried, but happy. She promised her daughter that she would find a boy with good conditions.
So Aunt Wang began to post news for her daughter's blind date.
Because Xiao Xiao is not ugly, plus she is very capable in all aspects, so many people introduce her. Aunt Wang is in no hurry. In order to save time, she will first screen out the boys with excellent conditions and then let her daughter meet.
Because her ex-boyfriend married someone else soon, it was also a blow to Mix. In her opinion, in this case, it doesn't matter who to marry, so at the suggestion of Aunt Wang, she finally chose a boy with the best material conditions to marry.
On the wedding day, the man held a wedding banquet in a five-star hotel, invited 40 guests, and the other family gave 300,000 bride price, which made Aunt Wang feel very proud and kept smiling.
Originally, Aunt Wang thought that her daughter would not suffer a loss after marrying a man with good conditions. However, after only two months of marriage, once she went to visit her daughter, only to find that she looked very pale. The whole person was depressed and looked unhappy, but what made her even more angry was that she found that her daughter was bruised.
Under aunt Wang's questioning, her daughter told her that although the other person is normal in front of others, in fact, closing the door is a man with a tendency to domestic violence, and he may be afraid of being known by others, so he doesn't hit his face every time, so he specifically picks out invisible places, such as his back or legs.
At this time, Aunt Wang suddenly realized that it was the most wrong thing she had done in her life to oppose her daughter marrying the person she liked.
There is no doubt about the contribution of parents to their children, but for parents, when you think about your daughter, don't look at everything one-sidedly.
Especially for children's marriage, as a parent, you can make suggestions, but you can't interfere, let alone make decisions for your children. After all, marriage is a personal matter, even parents can't feel for their children.
Besides, since everyone has grown up, they should have a good eye and judgment.
For parents, all you need to do is to check for their children and see each other's personality clearly, instead of ruining their happiness because their children are rich or some kind of obsession that they are too poor to love rich people.
A truly happy marriage is not determined by money. I hope everyone will keep this in mind.