The butcher felt a little strange. He looked intently and found a bag in the dog's mouth, and a note was exposed outside the bag. The butcher opened the note and saw that it said: I want to buy 12 sausage and a leg of lamb. The money is in the bag.
The butcher looked at the bag: there is the money. So he put the money away and put sausages and leg of lamb in the bag.
At this time, it's almost time to close the store. On a whim, the butcher closed the shop and followed the dog, and decided to go and have a look.
The dog leisurely crossed a street and came to a crossroads. It put down the bag in its mouth, jumped up and pressed the traffic light button next to it with its claws. Then it squatted on the ground and waited patiently for the green light, then picked up the bag and crossed the road.
The butcher followed closely.
Then, the dog walked to a bus stop sign. It looked at the timetable. The butcher was stunned by its action. Knowing the time, the dog squatted in a nearby seat and waited for the bus. Soon, a bus came, and the dog quickly stood up to see if it was wrong and returned to his seat. A few minutes later, another one came. The dog stood up, looked at the train number, found that he was sitting right, and climbed into the car.
The butcher opened his mouth wide in surprise and jumped into the car.
The bus goes through the city to the suburbs. On the road, the dog quietly looked at the scenery outside the car. After a long time, it stood up, walked to the back door, waited for the bus to stop, and jumped out with a bag in its mouth.
The dog came to a house by the road. It put down the bag in its mouth and knocked on the door for a while with its claws. No one answered, so it knocked on the door again and again.
But no one answered the door, so the dog jumped on a low wall next to it, then jumped into the garden, climbed up the window, hit the window with his head several times, and then went back to the door and squatted on the ground and waited quietly.
The butcher looks more and more confused. Just then, suddenly the door opened and a big fellow came out, raised his foot and kicked the dog hard, cursing while kicking.
The butcher was angry. He rushed up and angrily reprimanded the big fellow: What the hell are you doing? What a clever dog this is! You can definitely become a TV star!
The big fellow sneered and mocked at him. Smart? God, this is the second time this week that he has forgotten his key!
Humor story 2
A girl named Xiaorong lives in the residential building next to the square. I don't know when she was attracted by a young policeman patrolling the square. When she was free, she stared at the figure in police uniform by the window, but she didn't have the courage to confess.
A friend knew her mind and gave her an idea: Xiao Rong, take some silk handkerchiefs to meet him. When you walk up to him, pretend to leave your handkerchief on the ground. If he bends down to pick it up, you can take the opportunity to give him one. If he is interested in you, he will take his handkerchief with him, and you can make a handkerchief-based story!
XiaoRong think this method is good, readily adopted. After work that day, she wrapped some silk handkerchiefs into a big square and held them in her hand. She walked back and forth in the square five times. Finally, the figure of a young policeman appeared and walked towards her.
Looking at the police getting closer and closer to her, Xiao Rong's heart was pounding. 5, 4, 3, 2, she timed it and quietly pulled the switch. Suddenly, the square towel and handkerchief fell to the ground together.
The young policeman went to Xiao Rong, looked at her, looked at the silk scarf on the ground, and then said seriously, Miss, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. Please don't set up a stall here!
Humor story 3
Chang 'e is the first beauty in the sky. Everyone knows that she is the lover of the Jade Emperor. Of course, the queen mother knew, so she was punished to live in the sparsely populated Guanghan Palace and not allowed to set foot in the Heavenly Palace. However, it is difficult for the Jade Emperor to steal incense in Guanghan Palace from time to time.
There is a saying that one year on earth, one day in the sky, and in a blink of an eye, it is 2 1 century on earth. The gate of Guanghan Palace on the moon is locked, and only the voice of Chang 'e can be heard. It turns out that the jade emperor hasn't come for a long time, and Chang 'e is upset. But Chang 'e's troubles don't stop there. When she looked in the mirror recently, she was surprised to find that she looked old. It turns out that although the immortals in this sky are immortal, they not only live long, but also are not always young and beautiful. Otherwise, what about the young and old from the sky? Like Venus is too white, you were not born with a beard, were you? Jade rabbit, Chang 'e's doll and personal maid, soon figured out the master's mind. She just took advantage of Chang 'e's opportunity to sleep late and went to the world where artificial beauty prevailed to encourage Chang 'e to come down to earth. Jade rabbit dragged Chang 'e into the first room. The sign of beautiful design room is hung at the door. The walls are covered with top beauties. Doctors pointed out to Chang 'e one by one: This is Zhi Zhi, that is the swallow, and Lulu is the last one. Who do you like? Unfortunately, Chang 'e didn't know anyone, so she had to say vaguely: the most beautiful one.
Chang 'e entered the beauty processing workshop and was drugged. She felt that the doctors were sawing themselves, sucking here and injecting there, and fell asleep unconsciously. The operation went very smoothly and successfully. The last room Chang 'e entered was called Beauty Touch Workshop. Several beauticians carefully painted her eyebrows and lips. After a series of processing, China beauty Chang 'e became a western beauty Marilyn. Monroe.
Chang 'e dropped a box of gold from Huang Chengcheng and took the Jade Rabbit to the sky in a hurry, hoping to give the Jade Emperor a big surprise. Chang 'e and Yutuer ignored the rule that the Queen Mother forbade her to step into the Heavenly Palace and went straight to the Nantianmen leading to the Heavenly Palace, but they were stopped by two heavenly soldiers: Stop! Where is the devil? Jade Rabbit is furious: What demon, open your dog's eyes and see, this is the sweetheart of Jade Emperor Chang 'e! Mountain soldiers don't believe it. It happens that the licensed demon mirror will pass by on that day, and it will take a picture of Chang 'e: I see the person in the mirror with silicone filler on his nose and two jade colloids on his chest. After that, he will whisper a few words to the heavenly soldiers, who will bow respectfully and let Chang 'e in.
Chang 'e, who knew her well, bypassed the temple for the night and broke into the imperial garden. She happened to meet the thoughtful Jade Emperor by the lotus pond. Chang 'e was delicately calling Yu Lang, when the Jade Emperor turned around and almost fell into the lotus pond: You, who are you? Chang 'e twisted her waist coquetry: I don't know? I am your sister Chang 'e!
The Jade Emperor is still shaking: Really, you also had plastic surgery?
Chang 'e was surprised: How do you know?
The jade emperor didn't answer, but looked straight behind Chang 'e. Chang 'e turned around and was surprised to see many colorful fairies surrounded by an unusually familiar beauty.
The Jade Rabbit beside Chang 'e suddenly screamed, pointing to the beauty and pointing to Chang 'e, speechless. When the beauty saw Chang 'e, her eyes suddenly opened wide and her eyebrows stood upright. Who are you?
Chang 'e thought the other person was the jade emperor's new love, and she was furious: Who are you?
The fairy next to the beauty shouted: bold bitch, don't kneel when you see the queen mother!
What, the queen mother? The Jade Rabbit stammered, Why do you look like Chang 'e? When Jade Rabbit said this, Chang 'e knew that the other person was really himself before plastic surgery.
The queen mother laughed and said contemptuously, I like whoever I like! Tell me who you are!
Chang 'e said loudly: I am Chang 'e!
The queen mother was also taken aback. She got off the plane and circled Chang 'e three times. Then she said, ah, you also had plastic surgery? Chang 'e raised the arrogance of mistresses in the world and said, what's the matter? What can you do to me? Two women glared at each other, and suddenly both of them rushed to the jade emperor's side, and one grabbed his arm. The jade emperor felt that his body was about to be torn, and he couldn't bear it. He jumped high and shook off two women: stop arguing, I'm not the jade emperor either! I am Venus Taibai!
What? The people around you suddenly froze.
It turns out that the Jade Emperor and Taibai Venus visited the world a few days ago and saw handsome guys and beautiful women everywhere. As soon as they inquired, they entered a famous beauty hospital, three times five divided by two turned themselves into romantic handsome guys, forced Taibai Venus into their own appearance, and returned to heaven to serve themselves.
Where is the Jade Emperor? The queen mother and Chang 'e asked in unison.
Taibai Venus waved her sleeves wide and said, Look there!
I saw a handsome guy wearing jeans, naked, with explosive colorful hair on his head, singing ILOVEYOU at the top of his lungs under the bad light on the stage! I love you! Under the stage, all kinds of artificial beauties compete for beauty.