There was a bean that fell, and it was discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement (Chocolate) Beans".
The community director came to the community gatekeeper to check on his work, and he asked the gatekeeper, "Have you registered the entrants today?" The old man said, "My duty is to watch the gate not to lose it, I don't care about people."
Late at night, the Boeing 737 pilot came home and knocked on the door. His wife asked: "Who is it? The pilot humorously said: 737 request to land! Suddenly a man in the house shouted: Roger, 777 immediately take off, to you to vacate the parking space!
If a drop of water falls from the sky, it is I want you to shed tears; if two drops of water falls from the sky, it is I love you and intoxicated; if countless drops of water falls from the sky, it is ...... don't think about it, it's raining!
If there are no flowers, spring will be lonely, if there is no passion, the seasons will be mediocre, if there is no me, you will lose a person who cares about you the most! If there is no you, the rabbit will ask: "Who should I race with?"
Know why we are destined to be together? We met a thousand years ago, in the fall, when you ran with me in the wind and left teeth marks on me, which became a story for the ages. At that time, my name was Lu Dongbin.
One time I asked my mom what her previous occupation was. My mom simply solved the other question, "Where did I come from? She replied, "I used to sell kids, and you were too cute to sell, so I kept them for myself."
If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were a tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive (marry) me? If you were money and I was a bankbook, I would have taken you.
You and I are single-winged angels, and only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came into the world to find you, but after a lot of hard work to find you but found: mom! The two of us are on the same side of the wing!
Work suddenly stomach pain, ran to the toilet, just took off his pants, just popped out a fart, found that the handkerchief did not bring, so you can only put on the pants and ran out to get paper, and then next door pit a buddy, leisurely came a sentence: "This quality, really bull, farting a fart but also to come to the toilet to put."
Shanghai Jiaotong University 11 freshman Yao Ming today skipped class to the United States to see the rocket game ......... he this is not usual points it.
Mom's off work to the home hungry, turn the refrigerator what to eat are not, only a box of tuna sushi, a box of bacon sushi, a smoked turkey leg, a bag of small wonton, a box of pouring sauce spicy cold noodles, a box of Thousand Island dressing salad, a bag of salt-baked peanuts, a package of pickled mustard, and a few Harbin red sausage. I'm not even getting a bag of instant noodles, so I'm pissed off.
How many ideals are ruined by the cruelty of reality, how many dreams are ruined by the knock on the door of the courier ...... reporter interviewed migrant workers: if China broke out in the war, you are willing to go to the front line? Migrant workers: on the front line have household registration restrictions? Is it possible to have a rural household registration? Is it a priority for people with Beijing and Shanghai household registration to go to the battlefield? Do you need a temporary residence permit? Do I need a work permit or health certificate? Do you need to have a certificate of tax payment for at least one year? And, sacrificed everyone to lose money all the same price? In a real fight, is there a single or double number? Is there a lottery before the charge? How long does it take to get a number?
A foreign driver in Maoming to the traffic police to ask for directions, Maoming traffic police replied: "You then drive to the left is five thousand Wuchuan to the right to drive on the six thousand Luchuan forward to drive for a while on the road to no road Meilu continue to go on the neck of the chopping Zhanjiang! The driver was shocked, I do not feel to go. Traffic police: you Department of this degree on the life of Maoming, the driver almost pissed his pants pleading: boss, I turned around to go back okay? Traffic police: you turn over to go to the same death on the Yangsi
Finally still can not help but to publish it, in fact, I won the lottery yesterday 10 million. Maybe other people will use this money to buy a car to buy a house, but I will not be so material, just want to use this money to cure my paranoia.
One day on the bus, in front of a beautiful woman on the bus to the driver said: "Master, I do not have money today, kiss you a mouthful of coins as a good?" The driver said yes, the beauty kissed the driver and then went to the back to sit down. Another woman in the back to see clearly, get in the car and hold down the driver a wild kiss, looked up and said, "I also do not have money, kiss you so much, as I coin it!" The driver was scared and cried, "The one in front of you is my daughter-in-law ah!"
After a party with friends, Xiaoli walked alone in the dark alley. Suddenly a figure jumped out in front of him and said viciously, "Take out the money!" Xiao Li timidly said: "Money ...... money just now ...... dinner ...... spend... ...spent it." The black shadow laughed and said, "I know you don't have any money, if you have money you'll take a taxi." "Then why do you still want to scare me!" "If I didn't scare you a little, you'd still have hiccups now." Said carrying a knife disappeared in the fifteenth moon.
Once and my husband went to dinner together, he advanced the bill I do not know. After eating he said to the boss: "Forgot to bring money, let my daughter-in-law to you brush the bowl it!" Said turned around and left, leaving me looking at his back in horror.
In history class, the teacher asked me, "Which Chinese emperor lived the longest." I am a scum where understand these ah! Suddenly I don't know where it came from: "Jade Emperor." The teacher was speechless!
Today to go to a fast-food restaurant to eat, the neighboring table in the show of love, only to see that the man just fed the woman to eat a mouthful of rice, the woman asked: "Dear, in addition to feeding me, you also feed who? Be honest!" The man thought for a moment and said in fear: "Dogs!" Instantly spray rice!
I didn't see the driver wearing a bluetooth headset on the phone in the cab!
A female colleague, one hundred and forty pounds. Every night with the ladies dancing in the square dance action all kinds of retardation. Yesterday, I went to watch, finished, asked me how the jump looks. I said: I think you dance looks like a small swan ...... brand drum washing machine.
When I was a kid, I went to the kiosk with my dad and saw a big pink package, so bright and attractive! "Dad, I want this!" "Stop it!" "I want this!" "No!" "I want it! I want it! I want it!" Then that day many people saw a bear child happy upside down carrying a large package of sanitary napkins to home... can you imagine I came home excited to open the package but found that it can not eat the miserable mood of it ......
Friends of the chest is particularly small! She said to me, don't look at my breasts small, but every time my husband is serious about touching, I said: Yes, he is not serious about touching, but also can not touch ah!
Today, I took a cab! To do the car driver did not say a word, I have a few things to ask him on his shoulder and said: "Hey, buddy." I did not expect the driver's reaction was "ah ah ah" yelled up, then I froze. When he ah finished he suddenly slowed down and said: "I'm sorry buddy I'm the first day to open the taxi, previously open the hearse sorry ah.
Every time I argue with my wife, she will be scared by my loud voice. Today is the same, after the fight, she came over to pull my hand and said to me: "husband, please can you not do this, you cry so loud the whole building heard."
Woman: honey, ask you once, if I and your mother fell into the water first save who? Male: How to ask this question again, you love me? The first thing you need to do is to ask your mom who you want to save first! Male: love me should not ask this question! Woman: I don't love you, answer quickly. Male: you do not love me, why do not I first save my mom?
I remember when I was in high school we were not living in school. All are in the neighborhood of the small village rented cheap house. Because the night is too hot a student took a cooler in the door on the ground to sleep all night. The next day woke up stunned. The landlord raised a dozen old hens squatting around him, and a few on him. Another student exclaimed. Really the happiest man in the world. Sleeping a dozen chickens a night!
Colleagues new to a girl, usually look soft and weak, even the bottle of water let others wring the kind. Today encountered a drunken molestation of her, began to hide back and forth, the man is more and more wanton, just as the brother is ready to go to his rescue, only to see her a roundhouse kick on the man put down, the mouth said a let me so far messed up words,
"Hey, it seems that after the loaded not go on".
My daughter-in-law just finished her driver's license not long ago, said to me: "I want to drive to my grandfather's house." I said OK: "Only we can go by ourselves, not with children." The words just fell, my son shouted: "Dad, I'm not afraid to die, let my mom take me." This bear child, blindly say what the big truth ......
Have a dog do not help the dog name "haha" my neighbor has a grandmother, raised a husky, she thought it was the beginning of the ha, called haha it. Today she lost her dog, the grandmother was very anxious, looking around the neighborhood, everywhere shouting the name of the dog, on the haha, haha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .....
When I was a kid, I went to the zoo to see a tiger and swore that I would raise one when I grew up. 20 years later, my dream finally came true. I'm not going to talk about it, it's time to cook for my daughter-in-law.
Last year I lost twenty pounds, everyone asked me how to lose weight, I smiled and said: "This is thanks to my girlfriend, she is always with me, I can be disgusted with what can not eat.
Can only write so much to write again is too long content can not be submitted, I hope to bring you happy!