Ask for a few jokes that make me laugh. Regardless of the hot and cold jokes can make me laugh out is a good joke, do not laugh do not give points!

Yesterday the bus home car super crowded, there is a woman standing in the doorway. From the back of the car squeeze over a man to get off, and the woman said: "Let a little, get off". The woman didn't move. The man stepped on her as he pushed past. As a result, the woman was so strong that she kept cursing, "You're crazy! You're crazy! ~~", but also super loud, so that the whole car are watching. The man has not said anything, get out of the car can not stand, turned back to the woman said: "repeater ah you!" There are a few funny kids in the back, keep playing the scene just now, A said: "You're crazy ah you! ............ "B said:" you repeater ah you ......... ..." The whole car people burst into laughter ~! Later, there is a little sister also want to get off, squeeze past timidly said: "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I am not a psycho ~!" The whole bus laughed again! The woman didn't say anything, but from the side of me floated a sentence: "Are you out of battery?" I laughed my ass off at that moment haha! The whole car laughed out loud! The prosecution added answer: this morning to eat KFC, behind me in line like a couple, see they ordered a whole lot of food, and then sat down next to me. After sitting down, the girl began to bury her head and eat, as if hungry for days, while the boy chewed fries one by one, as if there is something on his mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, moved forward, very seriously asked: "Qingqing, I chase you okay? The girl did not raise her head, directly said: "No." The boy asked again! "The boy asked again: "a little bit of possibility is not? " The girl simply said: "Not at all! The boy froze, looked straight at her, stayed there... At that time, the girl held a chicken leg in one hand, a burger in the other hand, felt that the boy was looking at her, so she paused to eat, and then looked at the boy with a pitiful look, whispered: "that..." The boy asked again: "No! . can I still eat? " The people next to me, including me, all laughed out loud, the boy was helpless, busy saying: "eat, eat..." 2.Because the day before yesterday! In the public **** car too many people, especially hot, especially stuffy I do not know who farted a fart, which is now the environment even worse. My friend really can not stand, and do not know who, no way. Just in time, the conductor is asking: "Who did not buy a ticket?" my friend suddenly had a thought. My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket." "Suddenly, a particularly fat woman with her hand high in the air said loudly, "I've already bought a ticket! 3. You're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad, you're bad. I was so excited that I wanted to have sex right away. I'm so excited, I just want to have sex right away. I'm half willing to undo my belt, and my legs are spread wide open by you. The thick and long piece was inserted into me without saying a word. My chastity has been destroyed, how can I face the future? On second thought, it's not so bad, I feel very happy in my heart. Anyway, I am your favorite, if you have the guts, you can come as hard as you want. You'll hit me in the vitals, and you'll be in all sorts of different positions. I'm going to be the first to lose, so let's see who's the first to lose. Let's see who loses first. Even if I die, I'll be happy. From now on, I won't be afraid to rely on you, and I won't blame my brother anymore. Fixed assets with me, traveling around the world to earn extra money. Sleeping with my brother, sleeping with my uncle, sleeping with foreigners. The investment is not big and the result is quick, a few hundred dollars for each leg. After selling, the goods are still there, wash them with water and sell them again. Repeated use is not a big problem, the skin is not broken and the flesh is not bad. As long as the pants up, who said the girl is not decent. 4. A man named Shi De Hao died in a car accident. His family howled and cried, kneeling in front of Shi De Hao shouted: "Shi De Hao (die well) ah, Shi De Hao (die well) ......" pass by, see his family so, so some puzzled to ask, "actually have loved ones died, but also shouted "die well". Also shouted "good death, good death", its family members answer: "is ShiDeHao (good death) a" 5. One day, Cao Cao captured Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them, "Each of you go to the fruit forest and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought out an apple, and Cao Cao said he would let them go if they could shove the fruit they brought up their asses. Zhang Fei tried for a while, failed, and was killed. A little while later, Guan Yu came out with three grapes, and Cao Cao said the same thing to him, so Guan Yu started stuffing them... When he got to the third one, Guan Yu suddenly gave a giggle and ended up smashing the grapes and was killed again. When he got down to hell, the King of Hell asked Guan Yu: "You are so stupid, why do you laugh? If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a long sigh, "I don't want to! Heaven is jealous of the red face! When I was stuffing the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu walking out with a durian in his arms..." 6. A beautiful morning, the sky was clear, but a farmer sat in front of the door drunk, lost in thought. A passerby curiously went up and asked, "Old folks, today's weather is so good, why don't you go to enjoy it, instead of drinking here." The farmer replied, "Hey, there are things that you can never explain." Passerby: "What misfortune has happened?" Farmer: "I was milking a cow today and I just happened to milk a poke and the cow kicked the pass over with her left foot." Passerby: "That's pretty bad luck, but not quite." Farmer: "Hey, some things you can never explain." Passerby: "And what happened next?" Farmer: "I tied her left leg to a post with a rope and squeezed it, but just as the bucket was full, she kicked it over with her right leg." The passerby laughed and asked again, "And then what?" Farmer: "Hey, some things you can never explain. I tied her right leg to the other post, and it just happened to catch a full bucket, and she swept it over with her tail again." Passerby: "It was bad enough luck. Never mind, don't feel bad." Farmer: "Hey, some things you can never explain." Passerby: "What else?!" Farmer: "This time I ran out of rope, so I planned to tie her tail to a post with a belt. I pulled the belt out and grabbed her by the tail. At this point, my pants fell off, just as my girlfriend came in ......" 7. Mr. Lin's wife's birthday, asked Mr. Lin to take her to the strip joint to have a good time, Mr. Lin was pestered and couldn't do anything but comply. At the door of the strip joint, the waiter said courteously: "Mr. Lin, welcome to the strip joint." Mr. Lin was nervous to stop, but Mrs. Lin looked at him angrily. Entering the strip joint, the maitre d': "Welcome, Mr. Lin, are you still sitting in your usual seat?" Mrs. Lin's face is starting to turn blue with anger. The show started, the stripper twisted her waist to the rhythm of the music and took off her clothes one by one. A delicate voice shouted, "Whose is this one?" "Mr. Lin, of course!" The entire audience of guests said in unison. By this time, Mrs. Lin had fainted from anger. Mr. Lin hurriedly picked her up and got on the ride-sharing car. Mrs. suddenly came to her senses and cursed, "You lying bastard, animal!" The taxi driver said, "Mr. Lin, the girl you're looking for tonight is very hot!" 8.1. A very "cozy" cheating joke. A woman is lying in bed with her lover when she suddenly hears her husband open the door and enter the house. "Quickly! Stand in that corner and don't move!" The woman hurriedly rubbed him all over with baby oil and sprinkled him with powdered lime, telling him softly "Stand still and don't move, and you'll pretend to be a plaster statue." When her husband entered the room, he pointed to something in the corner, "What's that?" The woman calmly said "Oh! It's just a plaster statue. There was one in the Cai family's bedroom, and I thought it was pretty, so I got one for home display." The couple stopped talking about the plaster statue until they went to bed. At about two o'clock in the morning, the husband got up and went to the kitchen to eat, and when he came back to the room he had a sandwich and a glass of milk in his hand, which he handed to the plaster statue, saying, "Here, have something to eat! Don't be like me standing in Cai's house all day without even a sip of water." Comment: Hurray for understanding, this husband should win the most cultured cuckold award! 9. Very "expensive" cheating joke. A man walks into a bar one night and says to the bartender, "Can I have a beer, please?" Bartender: "Sure, one beer for a penny." The customer doesn't believe him and yells, "A beer for a penny?" Bartender: "Exactly, a penny!" The customer looks at the menu and says, "Can I get a large ribeye steak with mushrooms, french fries, and two fried eggs." Bartender: "Sure, but that's pretty expensive." Customer: "How much is that?" Bartender: "Four ****ing cents!" Customer: "Where is the owner of this bar?" Bartender: "Upstairs with my wife!" Customer: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" Bartender: "The same thing I'm doing downstairs, to his bar!" Comment: Comment: do unto others as they do unto you, who dared you to do the spoiled deed! 10. small couple shopping in the supermarket! I do not know why, suddenly argued, the more the more ferocious! Boys can not bear it, turned his head to MM scolded: "tart B!" Which know the thundering scene happened, MM roared: "That you still lick?!"