After the fall, the weather is refreshing, the leaves fall off the street, some yellow, some green. Faint cool wind slipping through the street leaves fly up, some only turn a few times body stick to the ground does not move.
In the future, who will sweep clean so much yellow and green?
The sun rises every day from the east and sets every day in the west, scorching, hot, warm, and gentle shine here, the huge star unchanging week after week of constant light. The old home is a negligible place under the sun, but now I am always remembering the place. There is my father, my mother, my old house, my old nostalgia. Now I left the old home for some years, every time I go back as if to see an old friend, every time I also found her than before to add some of the soft, even if it is the street side because of disrepair and the collapse of half of the steps, revealing the stone others seem to be broken, and I think that is the time of the behavior of the inadvertent, the years will always be some of the abandonment of the throw away, like this half of the broken steps. When some days and then pass through the mile, the steps repaired, the old and new joints on both sides of the color disharmony but unified together, as I and my father between the two generations of seams, as I and my daughter between the seams - very distinct, but all together in the entanglement.
When I go home, I like to walk around, walk through the place where I walked when I was a child, I watched in silence, this state may be similar to a retired old stage actor, back to the theater where he has performed countless times, and now the newcomers on the stage are repeating the old man who has acted in the play for countless times, which all seems like yesterday, but the people who have acted has changed, and seems to be a thousand times repetitive, but in fact the time has been changed, time has changed, time has changed. The time has changed, and the time is far away.
My father and mother often say: "When you have time, come home to see. I also promised to see two old people a month, but four or five days of time, sometimes because they have to rush to work to eat after dinner and left in a hurry, and the parents of each of our arrival are excited, I hurriedly come and go, look back at them, they are still standing at the mouth of the hutongs to us waving.
Sometimes distance is not an excuse, no time is not an excuse, the excuse is only used to cover their own many things do not act and do not fulfill the action; or a pretext a kind of irresponsibility. Almost more than 30,000 days of life in the end how to finish, and do not need those chicken soup in the heart of the admonition to indicate that those are written to people to see, so that people moved, and then forget. What I do know is that my own parents gave themselves, and more than that, they gave my children unrequited love. I think - the reason why my parents did so, probably to return the care and love I did not give me when I was not yet a family.
The farther away from home, the more I miss my hometown, some of the scenery disappeared, some still in, those faded things have deep in my mind, some gradually blurred, blurred into a shallow piece of shadow. I desperately looking for this shadow, perhaps not looking for, but is the pursuit of never come back to the time, youth and the passing of the youthful years.
The home town is getting farther and farther away from me.
I now live in the place should be my second hometown, but also school summer vacation basking in the family always pick me up to go to their over, after I now live in the place, feel this place is very remote, very dirty, in addition to these have no other impression. I went to work every day after riding a bicycle back and forth, so the wind and rain went seven years, three kilometers east of the unit is east of the public housing, Lin Road a few years ago are still low bungalows, some of the roof of the spring on the sprouting of a piece of green, and even trees growing on the roof, the only bus stop in that place, down the bus can see a barber store, the owner of a woman, can not remember the appearance of Chu, but it seems that her The business is not bad, the small house is always full of people, maybe some of them are just her neighbors, and not to get a haircut.
Now these houses are almost demolished, the square building stands in the day and night rumbling roadside, these buildings in my eyes is just the original old house like building blocks to build a new pile together, the exterior painted a layer of new colors, the inside is still living in the original those people. Or the descendants of those people, day after day to accept the unique noise of this place, restlessness, hustle and bustle and dirty.
The bus stop is still in the same place, the sign is covered with dust, the same dust as the environment I live in.
My current home is less than two kilometers west of Donggongfang, and there is a hospital nearby, geographical advantages that would have been enviable before '05. Today, the hospital is so dilapidated that only internal medicine and surgery remain. The only remaining dentistry is the only place where the neighborhood residents can seek treatment. A few days ago, I wanted to take advantage of my daughter's vacation to have her teeth fixed, but because I didn't have an appointment, I couldn't get one until my daughter started school, so I had to go to a private clinic to get some medical attention.
This is probably the best thing about this so-called first-class hospital.
My current house used to be my mother-in-law's, after my mother-in-law passed away in 2012, my wife's brother took the initiative to give up the right to inheritance, the house free to us, my wife and I are very touched to pay the money to buy the house after the transfer of real estate procedures, from this house has become ours, there are some things that I think the fight is not useful, and naturally, so it will be the development of the final I believe that brotherhood will always outweigh the interests of the relationship, and I will be the first to see the development of this house. A milk between compatriots for the sake of a little interest in the same way, in my opinion is extremely ugly and shameful, brother-in-law and wife's sister-in-law's generosity of humility, so that I was touched.
On March 18, 1999, after the birth of his daughter, his mother-in-law, my wife, to make a house to let his wife and children live in this long.
When I was a child, I wanted to leave the crowded and narrow piece of tile house at the foot of the mountain, and envied the buildings not far from the tile house, many of my classmates live in such a square upstairs, standing on the balcony of my classmates' home to see the south far, far away, the balcony at that time were not closed, a glimpse of the next window. I've been looking forward to the day when I can live in such a square lattice, preferably on the top floor, and every day I can stand on the balcony, even if it rains, if it's not too big, I'll be standing there staring at the sky, looking at the line between heaven and earth.
This wish was not realized until after I married my wife. The difference is that I live on the fifth floor, which is one step away from the top.
The building is next to the road, the road is running day and night loaded trucks, next to this traffic, my unit's transport railroad stretches across there, the west is high and the east is low. At night, the train whistle pulling woo ---- woo do sound. In the past, this railroad are still steam locomotives, in order to climb the western slope, they will be in my house downstairs on the tracks "clang" to build up strength, eat - eat exhaust. And when they were powered forward, the sound of whimpering, whimpering, whimpering came out of the window, occasionally interspersed with the vibration of the cars buzzing across the road.
The opposite side of the building used to be a large crop field, crop field above several high voltage lines leading to the substation, did not come to the end of the rain or fog, high voltage lines buzzing, but it does not sound very harsh, like a large group of people in the air to shake the firecracker. In the spring, when farmers sow seeds, one can smell a unique smell of farmyard fertilizer when you open the north window. The large variety of some corn, peanuts, beans, sweet potatoes and wheat is not a perennial crop here, you stand in front of the window to see a hierarchical scenario - a low large green peanuts, beans seedlings are surrounded by tall corn stalks, like three green steps.
In the summer mother-in-law to the evening with daughter-in-law across the railroad tracks to the north has been walking to the coal mining collapse left behind the pond, a piece of the pond with an oxygenator on, the pond water clattering, the air filled with fishy smell, and the unique aroma of the crop field mingled with the crop field at that time can be considered as a good place to go.
Mother-in-law before the big raised a small white dog is not very pure, every time you walk the mother-in-law with it to go, to be honest I do not like it, because it is always drilling to the north house under the bed poop, I need to often lie on the floor with a broom to clean, once I was really angry, with a stick to beat it, the mother-in-law watched but did not say anything. Every morning mother-in-law went out to buy food by the way to bring back some cooked chicken livers, the steamed bread broken into pieces with their hands, chicken livers cut very fine, mixed well after the little white dog to eat, the little white dog with the mother-in-law nearest to it to see me tend to quietly turn to one side, quietly lying on a small cotton cushion squinting up to snooze. The mother-in-law every time you go out to walk with it, as long as possible, so as not to put the poop under my bed again.
The dog liked to scurry around the northern crop fields to pounce on grasshoppers, and sometimes stood on the dam of the pond looking up at the evening sun in the sky and barking.
Then the little white dog was run over by a car, and his eyes bulged out, and he looked very frightened, and he became much quieter, and soon after, he died.
The pond's water is reflected in the evening sun, the sun sinking in the west to leave the end of the splendor of the water, tomorrow the sun rises again from the east,, and spread a large large sunshine on the ground and the pond, and then stood idly in the sky, watching the place quietly change. At night, the sky to the north of the building was red, and if there was a north wind, the pungent smell of burning would waft in through the windows.
The back garden of my second home town is gone, and he left before my mother-in-law did.
Ten years ago, mother-in-law's home south of a huge pond, along the shapely a promenade, the lines are very beautiful, a summer, the pond a little half will be covered up by the lotus, lotus bloom lotus leaves swaying. How much water stored in this huge pond can not be calculated, listen to the people who own this pond, once wanted to dry the fish in the pond, with high-power pumping machine pumped for half a month, the water in the pond did not see how much decline, they discussed, stopped the pump.
There is a yard by the pond, the yard lived in the pond owner, a tin boat lying on the shore like a silver very big fish. If you are familiar with the owner of the pond, you can set up a canoe to go to the pond to pick lotus seedpods, and if you are lucky, you can catch fish swimming in the water, but this kind of thing can only happen when the weather is very hot. I used to sit in the canoe and swing around in the pond. The rower was a colleague of mine, whom I called Second Brother, and he later appeared in one of my texts, in which I portrayed him as a wifely figure. To this day, I still remember that Second Sister-in-Law hooked a finger at Second Brother, who sprang up as if he were electrocuted from his reclining chair under the willow tree, and went to Second Sister-in-Law's side, with his head hung low and his hands hanging down.
The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a dance party, and I was in the middle of a dance party, and I was in the middle of a dance party, and I was in the middle of a dance party.
The second brother paddled the canoe saw a big fish in the water slowly swim, let me use my hands to catch, I was not able to swim, sitting in the boat is still a little afraid, not to mention catching fish. I tried several times to catch it, the second brother rowed the boat to the shore far away from the yard with a net to rest the fish in the reeds on the shore, and took me back to the compound, and then let me go around to the place where the fish is hidden, I took the fish home.
There were turtles in the pond, sometimes climbing up the south bank to bask in the sun, and if they were spotted, they gurgled and rolled downhill to land in the water, and were out of sight for a while.
The two-story building on the north bank of the pond is built on the water, but it is not Shen Congwen's footstool.
The pond disappeared about ten years ago, and I was one of the participants in its disappearance.
When I drove a loader to a carload of gangue into the pond, a black gangue dam has been extended to the south bank of the pond, when the last shovel of gangue dumped on the south bank of the pond, I personally split the huge pond into two halves, the construction of people with a dozen sets of pumping water drainage, until the pond is drained, the bottom of the pond is full of black pond mud. There was still shallow water in the low-lying areas, and fish that hadn't been salvaged were trapped in it. The mud on the bottom of the pond was cleared by the excavator and then filled with gangue.
I used a loader to keep pushing the gangue into the pond, like an intruder, eating the pond a little bit. Time soon, the pond into a large square, this square under the former is the huge pond, the pond once bloomed lotus, lotus leaves spread less than half of the pond. There were a lot of fish in the pond, big fish, and there used to be a curved promenade along the pond. The little blind man in "Life is like a piano string" didn't know what the electric box said about the "twisted oil wolf" and the "green bench", but I know that there was such a twisted promenade by the pond, and I forget whether there was a green bench or not, but there were 'wooden slats' on both sides of the promenade for people to rest on. 'wooden slats.
I tried to remember the pond, but it is finally gone, as I recalled the absence of childhood, memories of hometown has been gone acacia trees. Childhood and I am far away, is the inevitable passage of time, the disappearance of the acacia tree is not I cut down, and the disappearance of the pond, in the final analysis, should be counted as a burial pond is the first shovel of soil I filled.
Although, what I did at the beginning is just the work to do.
The square turned into a pond did not even grow grass at first, the next year slowly some weeds grew out of the soil, and then more plants grew, until the relocation of the village to build a house here, this place into a wild, barren grass a person high, which is actually my favorite natural, spontaneous scenery, those years, sometimes in the morning to run to there, along the people stepped out of the path of the square turn again. The southernmost part of the square I found there is a piece of water, the water in the morning in the fall is quiet into a glass, if by chance, you can see the small ducks floating in the water painted a circle of ripples.
Sometimes I think, the pond should still be there, that piece of water left behind is that miniature once huge pond.
After a week of cloudy skies finally cleared up, the sky was so blue that I could go running in the field again. In fact, another piece of wild land south of my house has not yet built a house in the large square, square, before this place starring several pieces of coal mining collapse after the formation of ponds, not before being filled in, the arrival of spring often see the waterfowl fell in the pond just opened up slowly swim, if someone walks close, the waterfowl flutter flutter up to fly in the air circling a few times, and so far away from the people and then put up their wings and gently fell in the pond.
In the morning, when I was running in the field, I saw a big white bird hooking its wings and landing in the pond at the edge of the field, and the bird floated on the surface of the water, and the pond was gently flooded with a few circles of water, and then fell down.
Years of the wild half deserted, weeds are half a man high, grass in a few pieces of land planted with corn and sweet potatoes, a few sweet potato seedlings climbed over the ridge cloth in the path, I accidentally stepped on a few rotten, this injury, injury can not hurt the life of sweet potatoes.
The sun has not yet fully risen, the tip of the grass is sticky with water droplets, water droplets are very fine.
The wildland walk less people, most of the road is covered by green grass, only a narrow line, can accommodate a person walking, a few days ago the rain to the wildland corner of the drain open a mouth, mouth and wildland below the barren pond through, a few days of rain let the water rise a little. The pond is not alarming, the reeds grow freely in the pond, the temperature at night in these days is not low enough, if another half a month, the temperature drops very much, the morning on the pond will rise up a cloud of water vapor, with the morning wind drifting, the reed flowers on the white velvet and water vapor mixed into a white very beautiful.
God is like this, if you close a door to you, he will also open a window to you, I disappeared in my mind, the back garden, the pond, and the pond on the square are concentrated in the wild, I wrote these scenes may be in the eyes of others may be a completely different look, I don't care about these. In a piece of restlessness, dirty space to find the beauty of one's own eyes, so that this beauty in the heart of the magnification, this is my wish.
My second hometown, surrounded by factories, is a wild place surrounded by factories.
The land where I live is wrapped in a piece of noise every day, and the air is full of impatience. I'm carefully looking for a place where I can feel calm in this noise, and my hometown counts as one of them, and now the wild land is the second one, or not all of them. The landscape in the image is probably related to your contact with it for a long time, no matter before and now, day by day.
Suddenly, I blocked here, the head seems to be empty, I wrote these messy words in the end is to do what statement it? Memories or fondness, or touched by the small beauty hidden in the unnoticed sights of my life? Casually flipping through the book on the table found such a paragraph, suddenly realized that with the same idea I want to express, and immediately copied it to use it to end.
"Because of this garden, I am often grateful for my destiny.
I can see clearly, even now, how I will miss it once I have to leave it for a long time, how I will miss it and dream about it, how I will dream about it because I don't dare to miss it"