My father-in-law died early and my mother-in-law lived with us after marriage. We were married for two years and had no children for a while. Hubby left on a business trip, leaving me and my mother-in-law alone. Her mother-in-law was a highly qualified teacher before she retired. We seldom had quarrels over family matters and worked well together in life. However, the older one gets, the more one thinks. Because she is so smart, she overthinks some things, leaving me embarrassed and speechless. When she came back from a business trip, she was not abnormal. As soon as her husband left, she started acting up.
She secretly observed me, from the way I dressed to the conversations of my friends and coworkers. What agitated me even more was that she installed a camera in the doorway of my room. It took me half a month to realize it. No wonder she knows everything I usually do. Because of this, I protested with my mother-in-law and what she said made me want to cry. She said I was good looking and educated and that she was happy in her heart. Listening to her, my anger came up.
She went on to say that she took my birthday and had it told outside. The fortune teller said, "Beware of good-looking women in the family, beware of having an affair." So, she did this to save my marriage with my husband. Didn't she say I would cheat on her? Shame, I thought she was a highly qualified people's teacher. How could she believe in feudal superstitions! I called my husband and told him about my mother-in-law spying on me and installing a camera, and told him to come back and deal with it.
As soon as my husband walked in the door, my mother-in-law came out on her heels and cried, really scaring me. She cried and said, "Son, your father died early and I worked very hard for this family. I'm just concerned about your daughter-in-law, she said I was snooping. At my age, I work hard all day. What do I want? At that time, my husband was frightened by my mother-in-law and could only coax his mom to speak slowly. Teacher, you judge, how do old people get so many things nowadays? We're a good couple, let her do it. If this continues, I'm going to go crazy. What should I do?
Counselor Response:
The older you get, the more you think. You are beautiful and have been separated from your husband for a long time. It's normal for her to worry about you being abducted by an outsider. However, normal minds do abnormal things. Spying on you, installing cameras, fortune telling, these crooked thoughts are really annoying enough. Put yourself in an older person's shoes and think about it. You've been apart for a long time, your relationship isn't solidified, and it's easy to split. She's also looking out for your marriage, so the moment your husband walks in, she's going to be out of control emotionally and complaining about the aggravation.
Suggest that you talk to each other and talk about your thoughts. Your father-in-law died early, and when old people retire at home with nothing to do, their minds wander. You can add a grandchild to her to keep her busy taking care of her grandchildren. On the one hand, her attention to you will naturally decrease; on the other hand, she can help you bring up your children when your mother-in-law is young, and you can be at ease with your career. Of course the best thing to do is to end this separation as soon as possible, so that the old folks can have peace of mind and your relationship is stable. Wish you happiness.