Performers: Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan
(by Sun)
ZHAO: Sleeping hurts on the waist, eating is straight to the stomach, the head is straight to the confusion, looking at what is not right. I've been pursuing happiness all my life, and I've come to realize it. I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'm not sure what I'm talking about. A: Happiness is suffering.
Song: Some people spend money on food and drink, some people spend money on songs, some people spend money on beauty, some people spend money on massage, today I hired a good job, some people spend money, hire me to accompany people to nagging (lào kē).
Zhao: Aiya, my son said to find someone for me, nine o'clock in place.
Song: This is the right place to find someone, Dingdong.
Zhao: Who is it?
Song: Zhang Huimei.
Song: Zhang Huimei.
Song: It's me, big brother.
Song: It's me, big brother.
Zhao: Aiyo, mom, this is a sweet voice, the sugar content is quite high, at least four plus. （The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Song: Don't be polite, call the big sister on the line, call mom for what. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Zhao: There is also a small dog in the house.
Song: That's you, then.
Song: That's you.
Song: Your son said, "I'm counting down the time since I left the house, and I'm stuck in a traffic jam on the road.
Zhao: What do you want?
Song: our purpose is to take the initiative and enthusiasm, with my heart in exchange for your smile (yóng), hurry up, I first took it off.
Zhao: big sister, big sister.
Song: Hurry up, there is no time.
Zhao: No, you don't understand, what are you doing?
Song: Sit down.
Zhao: no.
Song: You first sit down.
Zhao: Big sister. I have a bad heart.
Song: Shy type.
Zhao: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Listen up, it's funny.
Say, how many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refrigerator?
Hahahaha, three steps. The first step is to open the refrigerator door, the second step is to put the elephant inside, and the third step is to bring the refrigerator door with you.
People? (Zhao Benshan turned behind him) Hahahahahahahahaha.
You see me laughing like this why don't you laugh?
Zhao: laugh what a you this.
Song: Well, no sense of humor, ha.
Song: Well, no sense of humor, ha. I'll give you another question, say the zoo held a gala meeting of all the animals which animal did not (mèi) have to come?
The elephants are in the refrigerator.
Zhao: What? I don't know what to say, but I'm not sure.
Song: Aiyo, you're killing me.
Zhao: I'm exhausted.
Song: Ai ..................
Zhao: Hey.
Zhao: Hey, big sister, let's not laugh, okay?
Song: What?
Zhao: Let's figure out what the son is calling you to do.
Zhao: We can figure out what our son has called us for, can you tell me before you finish laughing?
Zhao: three with ah.
Song: What are you talking about!
赵：大妹子我确实不明白你来......
宋：你不明白你问啊？ I tell you, our work to the big said called domestic service, to the small said called clockwork, in foreign countries called
Saikou class radical death (psychologist), translated into Chinese is a psychiatrist, what do not understand, go, hurt self-esteem.
Zhao: big sister. You say I'm a person ah, all day long at home alone suffocated, easy to find a person also let me to hurt away, back?
Song: Take the money.
Zhao: what money?
Song: your son said, an hour forty, to an hour.
Zhao: Oh, give you fifty.
Song: I don't have any change, take it.
Zhao: I don't have any change, I'll give it to you.
Zhao: I don't have any change, it's all yours.
Song: I want you to take ten more dollars.
Zhao: I don't have any change if you can't find it, so you can just nag me for another ten dollars.
Song: I'll put up with another ten dollars.
Zhao: Oh. The big sister, please sit down, just now I really sorry you to apologize to you, sit down, huh. The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Song: no.
Zhao: drinking water?
Song: Self-prepared.
Zhao: eat fruit?
Song: Stomaching.
Zhao: What are you doing?
Song: What?
Zhao: nag (lào) it.
Zhao: The first time I've ever seen him, I've seen him in a car, and I've seen him in a car, and I've never seen him in a car.
Zhao: so, big sister I tell you a small joke, I give you to open the awkward situation. This is the first time I've ever seen a person with a high school diploma, and I've never seen a person with a high school diploma before.
Said, there is a tiger, was bitten by a snake, the tiger is anxious, want to step on the snake to death, chase ah chase chase, chase to a small river, the snake, day (rí), drilling in the water to go, the tiger is on the riverbank so wait, small kind of I do not believe that you do not come out. Not long after, from the inside drilled out a trumpet, the tiger went up to hold it down, "small like you wear a vest (jiá) I do not recognize you?"
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Song: (eyes)
Zhao: big sister, I repeat, I said wrong ah. No, it's a wangbang drilled into the water, finished out a snake, the tiger said, "You take off the vest I still know you!"
Big sister, look at you, I tell you jokes, you old whole vest with me to do what?
Song: I'm out of here.
The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Song: Too much self-esteem.
Zhao: Big sister, vest!
Song: You give it back, you bring it.
Zhao: (put on the vest) I put on okay?
Zhao: (put on the vest) I put it on okay?
Song: What?
Zhao: You just say, "The snake went into the water, and soon I put on a vest and came up". I'm not going to be able to do that.
That will be happy, hahahahahahahaha.
Song: you say you this big brother ah, you do not quite understand the humor of it? How is it that your son always says you're moping?
Zhao: honestly big sister.
Songs: What are you doing here?
Zhao: So, I was in the countryside.
Zhao: I was in the countryside.
Zhao: I'm in the countryside, the old man and the old lady, that's a lot of brothers and sisters.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: I'm the center of attention.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: Later, the son to filial piety me.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: He earned some money in the city.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: He took me to the city, and the whole thing changed, no one talked to him, no one talked to him.
Song: Don't talk about it, I understand your situation too well. I have analyzed the old people quite profoundly.
Zhao: ah.
Song: I divide the elderly into three categories.
Zhao: Tell me.
Song: emotional loss type, endocrine disruption type, Alzheimer's type.
赵：那我属于哪种型的？
Song: You don't belong to any of these three, you belong to the house holding type.
Zhao: That's right.
Song: Oh.
Zhao: The house is too stifling, and when you come to the city, you don't know anyone.
Song: You said you were fine to go out and play chess and twist rice-planting songs.
Zhao: Don't mention it.
Song: huh?
Zhao: One day I had no choice but to go out on the street.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: I'm not going to see a square with a group of big rice-planting songs.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: It's a big deal to me.
Song: Oh, my God!
Zhao: I was so confused, I just took two steps and three old men wanted to beat me up.
Song: Why?
Zhao: He said that I was with the people that old lady flying eyes.
Song: You said you don't know the old lady, so what are you looking at?
ZHAO: No way, I just did a couple of moves (twisted a section)
Is this a flying eye?
Song: It's not a flying eye?
Song: It's not a flying eye, it's a big eyeball.
Zhao: Aiyo.
Song: You must be looking at the old lady's beauty, right?
Zhao: I don't think so, but I've been beaten up a lot, so I'm not sure if it's worth it.
Songs: What?
Zhao: the old lady looks more ugly than you; a not, I said she is not as ugly as you; you ah, than her ugly.
The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of a conversation with a woman.
Song: Big brother, you do not (biè) say.
Zhao: Uh-huh.
Song: What kind of person are you?
Zhao: What type?
Song: You definitely belong to the type that has nothing to lose.
Zhao: Big sister, to be honest.
Zhao: Big sister, to tell you the truth, I'm 60 years old, I've been in the city for a long time, the neighbors don't know me, and I'm suddenly mute, I don't know how to play.
Songs: You're not going to be able to do that, you're just going to have to stay home and surf the net.
赵：我多年不打鱼了，还哪哪有网呀？ I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that.
Song: I'm talking about the computer, the Internet.
Zhao: Grid ah?
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: The computer's Internet?
Song: computer network.
Zhao: what network ah?
Song: The Internet.
Zhao: Ha ha ha. I get it, you're talking about high tech, the Internet, chatting online.
Song: Uh-huh.
Zhao: OK, but the computer is expensive.
Song: You're not a consumer.
Song: You can't have a good idea of what you want.
Zhao: I'm not going to be able to do that.
Song: My shoes, Adidas. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. Belt, Yeltsin's. The first thing you need to do is to look at me and see that I'm using the world's first-class brand-name cosmetics in my pockets.
Zhao: Ah.
Song: The famous American star, Madonna, wiped what I wiped.
Zhao: McDonald's who is ah?
Song: You don't know her?
Song: You don't know her?
Zhao: Who is it?
Song: McDonald's?
The first time I've seen this, I've seen it in my life.
Song: I'm in shape.
Zhao: Big sister, I envy you.
Song: Brand-name, rich.
Zhao: rich oh. I'm so jealous of you.
Zhao: I envy you too much.
Song: What?
Zhao: tomorrow you take me ......
Song: do what?
Zhao: I'll go with you, I'll go out to work with you every day.
Song: You can't.
Zhao: I'll go with you.
Zhao: I don't want to earn money, I just want to have fun, okay? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Song: huh?
Zhao: I'll carry a bag.
Song: How can you do that?
Zhao: You see, the designated line, not just take this cup? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
Song: Ah.
Zhao: You see, I can't do it.
Song: What's going on here?
Zhao: Dingdong.
Song: Who is it?
Zhao: Andy Lau.
Zhao: Andy Lau.
Song: Why?
Zhao: you, to eat have eaten, to drink have drunk, son filial piety, daughter-in-law did not say, but also spend money to hire someone to accompany you to chat, I see you are nothing to eat and braced type.
Song: Hahahahahaha.
Zhao: hurry out ah.
This is the first time I've ever seen a person with a high school degree.
Song: You say this big brother, you do not understand everything?
Zhao: ah.
Song: Why are you still so unhappy with your good day?
Zhao: big sister, I figured out, the old man ah, to the old have to find their own fun.
Song: Right.
Zhao: You have to go out.
Song: Yes.
Zhao: How can I say that when I see you today?
Song: What?
Zhao: (handshake) Thank you.
Zhao: (handshake) Thank you.
Zhao: I haven't been this happy in half a year, half a year, I haven't said these words.
Song: Really?
Zhao: Thank you, I don't want to say anything else, thank you very much.
Song: Brother, do you smoke?
Zhao: I don't drink water.
Song: drinking water?
Zhao: I do not smoke.
Zhao: I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do.
Zhao: I don't want to sit down.
Zhao: I don't want to sit down, I don't want to sit down.
This is the first time I've ever seen a woman in the world.
Song: This is your home.
Zhao: Yes!
Song: This is your home.