"Apply for a job" (laugh-out-loud funny) uploaded on: 2008-10-17 uploaded by: nipo Popularity: 1305009-2 examiners, 3 applicants
(a company recruiting sales supervisors)
Candidates: Long Min: an agricultural farmer, Tai Yucai: a high achiever without a social background, Chastity has the right: A government official's son.
Tai Youcai (back this hand, degree of step, raised his head in thought): the years do not leave people, time flies by, nowadays the market, I also come to compete
贞权有权(西装革履,大步走上)：According to my investigation, in this increasingly competitive market, the requirements of a good job is indeed difficult, comrades na, in order to survive, I have come to apply for a job here.
The first examiner said: you are all here to apply for the job, our company wants to sell the talent, either with education or experience you are educated people.
(Suddenly from the door broke close to a ragged clothes of people, running too fast almost fell)
broke close to the peasant side scratching his head while naive said: sister, sorry, I am late
(deputy examiner anger straight): who is your sister `? This girl is only the age of a flower! I'm sorry I'm late. How could such a person appear out of the blue`!
(Longmin looked at the examiner with surprise): Big sister? My village does not have a single flower, only a large, large handful of `! （
(Deputy examiner clenched his fists and held back his anger, said): Well. Now begin to introduce yourselves, put your name, address, age, nationality, birthday, gender, marital status, education 。。。。
(3 applicants made a surprised look) (the examiner smiled and said): do not need so much, put your name and education and experience reported on the line
贞权有权：这才差不多，否则我还以为到派出所了`!
Thai Yau Choy: My name is Thai Yau Choy, Thai of Thailand, I graduated with a master's degree, after the school culture, after the social grind, after the test of life, I came to your company to apply for the job. I will put my knowledge for the company to sell, with my culture to sell, the world view, values, honor and disgrace to the company's overall interests 。。。。
Deputy examiner: stop stop stop, nagging, next! (Tai Youcai held up his glasses and backed away with his head held high)
贞有权：My name is 贞有权, 贞德的贞. I graduated from what H University, due to the competition of the society, uh, right, I came to this company, and then, I want to actually employ this position, my words finished, thank you
(middle examiner action to add their own)
Long Min: I called Long Min, a dragon of the dragon (the whole audience laughed loudly) I have nothing else, is rich in experience, the specific experience please listen to the next time to decompose.
贞有权：到底是龙民，名字都取得这么农民
主考官:好了好了好了，开始提问
副考官：请问如果有一个漂亮的姑娘出现在你面前你要怎么推销自己让她接受你？
Longmin: Examiner, can you not? I already have a daughter-in-law, I'm afraid my daughter-in-law will not let me sleep in the bed.
(Angry) Deputy examiner: assumption, assumption understand `!
Lonmin: Assume, oh.
Tae Yau Choi: Hey, really feel sad for the people who have no knowledge.
Tai Youcai: I will recite a very sentimental words to make her submit to my literary talent
贞权权: I go back to tell all the traffic police to shout loudly at the place where that girl appeared: beautiful girl: 贞权, really love you
Longmin: I'm still afraid but I'm going to take the chance, I'm going to say: big sister, I'll cook, I'll do the washing, I'll do the planting, I I will also take care of the baby, just can't give birth to a baby, you help me to give birth to a fat baby, can't you?
Deputy examiner: Tai has talent, you think a poem can impress the girl`? If that were true, then there would be a lot of old ladies falling in love with you every day, because you say a lot of things every day. You go now and recite a poem to see if you can make the big lady across the street (selling stinky dried seeds) {this sentence can be in Changsha} accept you
Deputy examiner: ching has the right, you said you can call all the traffic police to help you, then well, you first go alone to the street to find a girl to say loudly that you love her, see if she will say you are crazy!
Deputy Examiner: Long Min, hey, on your bear still open mouth want other girls to give you a baby ah? You think other people are your family pig ah ` want to give birth to
Deputy Examiner: since it is to sell themselves should be the other side as a fortress to take down.
Long Min: examiner, now is the age of peace, where what fortress ah, if we say now to fight the ghosts of the fortress of my village strong man have long been manipulated hoe on, still have to turn on me?
Deputy Examiner: Hey, you people ah, this is still hypothetical, hypothetical! Eh, I just wondered, Longmin what you enter the us to apply for the job?
Longman: I have experience ah (patting chest, head up, as proud)
Deputy examiner: you have experience? Then how do you say it like a donkey's head and not like a horse's mouth?
Long Min (as aggrieved): Which has, I really have experience, you see ah, I sold chickens at home, I sold pigs in the village, I sold cattle in the countryside, and sold blood in the city, this is not all experience, oh yes, when I sold cattle there is a young man in his early twenties, said to me, uncle, how dare you sell cows on the street ah, you're really a cow A and a cow C in the middle of the that I wondered what that means, and later by the city police, the police said that they would be the only ones who can sell cattle on the street. What do you mean, to later be caught by the city police city police said to me that you really cow B. I still wonder how I buy a cow how to become a cow ABC?
(Deputy examiner lowered his head and was silent for a while) and then raised his head and said: I think you can go home and sell blood again
Longmin: Examiner, you're wrong, I am in the city to sell blood is not at home, my home does not have that equipment it
Deputy examiner: Hey `! (shaking his head)
Examiner: Now, seriously, how do you think you can sell yourself to get the girl to accept you?
Longmin: I think.
Deputy examiner: stop, you are not allowed to speak, squat with me to the side (Longmin poorly walked to the edge of the stage)
Jinquan has the right to: I think there is a problem with the question
Deputy examiner: nonsense, no problem it can be called a problem?
Tae Yoo Choi: I think this question has a lot of value to explore, if you allow me to call my tutor to ask
Examiners: you 。。。。
Examiner: why do you guys just find this question so difficult?
Long Min, Tai has talent, Zhen has the right,: this question is not good {Long Min stood up from the edge of the stage}
The deputy examiner said viciously: Long Min who told you to get up, continue to go back to squatting
Long Min gray squatting down, hands over his head
The deputy examiner: how is this question is not good?
(Lonmin stood up again and walked to the front of the stage) Lonmin said: then the examiner are you willing to sell yourself?
Deputy examiner: who told you to sell yourself?
Lonmin said: Isn't selling yourself the same as selling yourself? Examiner are you willing to sell yourself?
(The examiner was angry, the other 2 applicants laughed)
The examiner: do not you think you are now like a commodity? Living in this competitive environment, there are too many with degrees and too many with backgrounds. There are even more with experience, if you can't market yourself well do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just made an analogy, in fact, that girl is the job you are looking for, you can't let that girl accept you is no way to let the company you are looking for to accept you, in the end you still have nothing. I hope you can understand. In fact, we did a detailed investigation on you before you came in our company to apply for the job. We already know something about you, and our company is also in need of talents like you. Tai has talent: a deep education, and can make a great contribution to the company in convincing customers. Jeong has power, is calm when things go wrong, and is very good at using personal relationships for sales purposes. Longmin, although you are a bit earthy with less knowledge, I believe most bosses still like to do business with honest people, at least they will be honest. So the 3 of you we're temporarily hired for a 2 month trial period.
(Long Min, Tae Yoo Choi, Jeong Kuen are surprised)
Tae Yoo Choi: I'm sorry, Mr. Examiner, I think it's too unfair and I believe in my knowledge, so I hope that the 4 examiners can give us another chance, we want to convince the 4 of you to hire us
Mr. Examiner: Very well, what about Jeong Kuen?
Jean has the right to: I never know how to write to lose, I agree with what Tai Youcai said
(the examiner smiled): En (4 examiners and the first 2 applicants with skepticism look at Longman)
(Longman arched his hand fearfully): My daughter-in-law told me when I went out to tell me to come out to learn more with the city people, and I told you that I listen to my daughter-in-law, so I followed the first 2 city people to learn. So I followed the footsteps of the 2 city college students in front of me.
(Everyone laughed)
Examiner: So tomorrow at the same moment we will look at the 3 again. (Applause) [Curtain call