1
"Speaking of which, how is she recently?" Everyone may have this feeling: I used to contact my friends who I often met every day, but I don't know why I didn't hear from them and it became a very distant existence. The friendship between women is sometimes misunderstood as a plastic sister flower, which looks glamorous, but it is as fake as death. Aren't you sad that when you get married, even this plastic sisterhood is gone?
When are there fewer and fewer friends?
They ask you out to play, and you say you want to date your boyfriend.
When they invited you to dinner, you said you would go to your mother-in-law's house to wait on the elderly.
When they complain about something bothering you, you can say that you are going to pack your children's toys.
I finally had time to go shopping with them, but my husband called me away by serial phone.
It is not easy for a married woman. She has to take care of her family at work, so how can she spend time with her friends?
Therefore, apart from your husband, children and mother-in-law, you have no friends who are "normal"!
After marriage, your world has changed from a vast continent to an island. Finally, one day, when your husband and children don't need you to walk around them, you suddenly want to chat with your friends many years ago, only to find that the atmosphere is too embarrassing. You can't leave your child disobedient. Your husband is worried. Your friend is talking about how unhappy he has been recently. But if you speak Chinese that you can understand, you will be in two worlds.
Things are different. Friends in the past can get along as before, without demanding. However, people who have no heart to maintain friendship at all become isolated islands after marriage, which is not worthy of sympathy.
2
Traditional women can easily become isolated islands after marriage, on the one hand, they make it themselves, on the other hand, they are under pressure from home.
"A married woman should concentrate on staying at home, taking care of her husband, educating her children and having a stable job."
"A married woman needs so many friends. Her husband's friends are your friends. You just need to contact them. "
"Married women have to take care of four old people and children at home, and you go surfing. What's it like?"
"Why do you know so many people? You don't know the so-called blue confidante. Is blue green? "
You have fewer friends, and the most terrible thing is that your husband who keeps saying that he loves you is working. Fish Niang has a friend who married the boss of a small company. After marriage, her husband endlessly censored her circle of friends by the standards of a businessman. "This man is useless. Don't associate with him." "This circle of people is too low to help at all." These words inevitably spread to those friends, and in this way, many of her friends and even girlfriends were actively or passively excluded from their circle of friends. The older a person gets, the harder it is to make new friends. The old one is out of touch, and the new one can't be added, so her circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller.
three
It stands to reason that marriage is a combination of two worlds, and your friend becomes her friend, so interpersonal relationships should be more and more extensive. However, under the pretext of intimacy, narrowing your social circle makes you stay at home. This is a bad intimacy. You gradually become an isolated island, isolated from the world, lacking people to communicate with, and lacking information exchange, and losing vitality more and more.
Friends are the important fulcrum of our communication with the outside world. The older you get, the fewer friends you have. In fact, men and women are the same. Life experience is getting longer and longer, so we know what kind of people can get along with us all our lives. Iron friendship is sometimes more reliable than love and marriage. In an interview with the Round Table School, Ma Yili said that she had encountered so many storms. Whenever she wants to talk to someone, she will go to a group of girlfriends with only three people. The girlfriends will listen to her quietly, help her analyze the situation, objectively point out the problems and tell her what to do next. When she did, the difficulty was solved. Who doesn't envy this kind of friendship?
However, heart-to-heart friends are hard to find and need great efforts to maintain. It's no easier than maintaining a family. Women need companionship and talk more than men, and friends who can listen to you are much better than husbands. After all, only those old sisters can dance square dance with you when you are old!
The golden age of a woman is after 40. At that time, she had seen the wind and rain, tasted all kinds of life, and her children had grown up. At this time, besides her husband, she may be your friend. Now that we are in our twenties and thirties, we are busy at home and neglect our friends. When you really feel lonely in your forties and fifties, you really have to regret not cherishing the friendship at that time!