Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise is not a sweet first love novel, but a true story of heartache and blood loss. It is about Fang Siqi, a girl of 13 years old, who was raped by Li Guohua, a famous teacher in a cram school, on Teacher's Day. For the next six years, more than 2,000 days and nights, she lived in nightmares, afraid to sleep, afraid to close her eyes, and stimulated herself to wake up with coffee until she could not distinguish reality from dreams, until she lost her memory and hallucinated, until she was completely crazy. Instead of being punished, the devil teacher continued to be a famous teacher with laughter and continued to be respected by parents.
Famous teachers use girls' simplicity, intelligence, meekness and admiration to do whatever they want, and use their careers to ruin beautiful girls like Fang Siqi and Guo Xiaoqi. Instead of feeling remorse, guilt and guilt, they appreciate the injured girls with a ponder attitude, watching them struggle in the contradiction between purity and filth, shame and fear, and watching their mental breakdown. The tragedy of the girls makes them attractive! They even proudly said, "Look, so many girls write love letters to their teachers, so many girls die for their teachers, and raping you is the way for teachers to love you."
Recently, a case of sexual assault on "adopted daughter" by senior officials of listed groups broke out on the Internet. A tall social elite with a bright resume sexually assaulted an ignorant girl who was not deeply involved in the world. As a lawyer who is proficient in law, Bao Moumou sexually assaulted Li for four years. The girl called the police three times, filed a case twice, and dropped the case 1 time, all because the evidence chain was incomplete and she could not be convicted. "This is the way that Dad loves you, and you should love Dad in the same way." He brainwashed the girl with such words and videos, making her regard humiliation as love and attach herself to him.
Lin, the author, was sexually assaulted by her teacher in the summer vacation of her second year of high school, which made her suffer from depression. She was admitted to college twice and dropped out of school twice because of illness. Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise is based on her own personal experience, exposing the darkness behind human nature. In the face of sexual assault escaping legal punishment, she bravely picked up a pen and wrote such an amazing and special novel in order to make thousands of girls in Qian Qian not suffer the same pain and endure the heartbreaking pain. Three years ago, she was 26. After all, she failed to get out of the shadows and ended her life by suicide at home.
Fang Siqi's experience of sexual assault tells us that society is not friendly to girls. Once a girl is sexually assaulted, she will be abandoned by the whole society. People will think it's her fault, and she thinks it's her own fault. Faced with parents' accusations, friends' contempt and social malice, young girls have nowhere to run. In the end, they can only convince themselves to accept and fall in love with the devil and let him trample and spoil it until they have a mental breakdown.
Parents are ashamed to educate girls about sex, and regard girls' obedience and patience as virtues; The society oppresses girls with the backward concept of chastity, which makes girls regard the integrity of hymen as purity; The devil instills a distorted view of love in girls, making girls regard sexual assault as a way of love. The fall of angels is not only the harm of demons, but also the collusion of society.
First, parents are absent from sex education for girls, and the first line of defense has become a decoration.
When I was young, children would ask their mother curiously, where did I come from? Mothers always lie and say, "It was picked up from the roadside, found in the trash can, sent by the charging phone bill, jumped out of the navel, and sent by an angel ..." Few mothers will answer this question reasonably and skillfully. Mothers generally believe that "sex" is something they are ashamed to talk about, that "sex" is dirty, and that "sex" is a topic that cannot be discussed with children.
Fang Siqi and Liu Yiting are neighbors on the same floor. They are the same age. They are like soul twins. Many times, they don't have to make any noise, but they can communicate with each other through lips. One day, the adults and children of the whole building gathered in the dining room. Liu Yiting saw the sea cucumber lying in a big white porcelain dish, and felt like a piece of shit wiping the bottom of the toilet. She swallowed and then spit back on the plate. I can't stop laughing like a burp. Mother asked her what she was laughing at and she said it was a secret. Mom raised her voice and asked again. She replied, "It's like oral sex." Mother was very angry and told her to go to the penalty station. Fang Siqi saw that Liu's mother was angry and cleverly said that she would be punished with her.
13-year-old Liu Yiting doesn't understand the meaning of oral sex at all. Maybe she read it in a book, or heard of it, and thought it was fun. Mother's reaction is that she is on the edge of the enemy, and she punishes her daughter's sexual curiosity with anger. Fang Siqi was forced to "oral sex" by the teacher for the first time. She was afraid to go home and tell her mother that Liu Yiting was punished by her mother for saying "oral sex". Now she has really done it. What kind of punishment will she face? She didn't dare to say it directly. She said to her mother with bread and cream: "Our family education seems to have everything, but there is no sex education." Mother looked at her in surprise and replied, "What sex education? Sex education is for those who need sex. " Si Qi suddenly realized that she could not get knowledge and correct guidance from her mother.
In traditional culture, "sex" is a taboo topic in the family. Sex is associated with shame, vulgarity, filth and hooliganism, and parents use it to educate their daughters to live a completely clean life. In such a social atmosphere, a girl's body grows into a girl, and her knowledge stays in her childhood. This blank gives the devil room to brainwash. They use sweet words to disguise sexual assault as love and let girls fall into it.
"When Si Qi was pushed to the wall by the teacher for the first time," the teacher said nine words:' No, your mouth will be fine.' I said five words:' No, I won't. He stuffed it in. It feels like drowning. After I was able to speak, I said to the teacher, "I'm sorry. There is a feeling that I can't do my homework well, although it's not my homework. The teacher asked me if I would bring another composition every other week. I looked up and felt myself looking through the ceiling. I can see my mother talking on the phone upstairs. The porridge is full of my prizes. I know that when I don't know how to answer an adult, I'd better say yes. "
Mrs. Fang only cares about her daughter's grades and is not wary of the teacher downstairs. She can safely use the exhibition as an excuse to let famous teachers take Siqi to small hotels again and again. Trust the teacher to take care of her daughter in Taipei. She didn't realize that the teacher in her fifties was a man, and what would happen if she gave her beautiful and clever daughter to him. Her negligence made the teacher occupy Fang Siqi for a long time under her nose.
A girl who is sexually assaulted must have a careless mother. Moms always think that sex is knowledge of nature when they grow up. They will not tell their daughters from an early age that men are not allowed to touch a girl's body. If someone rapes her, tell her mother in time, and you can ask her for help no matter what problems you encounter. Mother is her strong backing. They didn't tell their daughters to be hurt and defensive, and to avoid being alone with men, not male classmates or teachers. They didn't tell their daughter that even if she was really raped by the bad guys, it was their fault. She is still her mother's little angel.
If Mrs Fang only cares about her daughter's grades and ignores sex education, can Si Qi choose to hide the truth from her mother? Makarenko, an educator in the former Soviet Union, said: "Sexual instinct is a great driving force. Let it stay in the original' barbaric' state, or strengthen it with' barbaric' education, it can only become an anti-social phenomenon. " Due to thousands of years of feudal thought, many people still regard sexual activity as a scourge and understand sexual knowledge as a crime. Parents can't talk about sex, and schools think sex education is not elegant. Fang Siqi is blind and ignorant on sexual issues, which gives a devil teacher like Li Guohua an opportunity.
Second, the remnants of the feudal concept of chastity became the shackles of imprisoning girls.
Si Qi tried to ask her mother for help after being sexually assaulted by her teacher. When packing at home, she said to her mother in a naive tone, "I heard that there is a classmate at school with her teacher." "who?" "I don't know." "So small, so coquettish." Si Qi stopped talking. In a flash, she decided not to talk for life. She looked innocent and chewed all the snacks on the table. When her mother brought them back, she poured the dregs into the gap in the leather armchair.
After the girl biscuit was sexually assaulted by the teacher, she told her boyfriend, who immediately broke up and said, "Why am I with dirty biscuits?"
After the girl Guo Xiaoqi was sexually assaulted by the teacher, her father said, "Do you think you can still get married after doing such a thing?" "What does this mean?" "incest!" Mother shouted, "You ran to hurt other people's homes. We don't have a daughter like you! " "
Guo Xiaoqi published her sexual assault by name on the Internet, hoping to get justice through the power of the Internet, but she didn't expect to receive thousands of vicious responses every day, such as punishing her with thousands of knives.
The whole world thinks that it is the girl's fault that the teacher raped her, and even she thinks it is her fault. She has no face to see others, is unworthy of being loved, and is unworthy of living in this world. Self-esteem and guilt make the girl have nowhere to run, and endless accusations drive her back to him, forcing her to fall in love with her abuser.
They show their dependence and love for the perpetrators, which is not love, but hostage complex, which is called Stockholm syndrome in psychology. This disease makes it easy for demons to manipulate them and make them wish they were dead.
In a patriarchal society, everything can be blamed on women's fault. Zhou Wang's subjugation is the bane of da ji; In the Anshi Rebellion, it was Yang Guifei who brought disaster to the country and people; A woman was raped because she was naked; The teacher sexually assaulted the students because they were too young and coquettish. This kind of thinking makes the victim fall into the ranks of bad people. Fang Siqi closed their hearts and decided that they were "dirty", "impure" and "worthless" and did not deserve a beautiful love. In self-denial, they further fell into the teacher's illusory love.
The concept of chastity is the shackles of women's unilateral sexual imprisonment in a patriarchal society. Although the feudal rule was overthrown, the feudal concept of chastity for thousands of years still affects modern society and is deeply hidden in the consciousness of men and women. In men's eyes, women are either virgins or sluts. For women, once they lose their virginity, they will consider themselves as "immoral" women like men. Under this concept of chastity, women who have been hurt by sexual violence are not only unable to get sympathy and protection, but are regarded as bad women by the world and bring shame to themselves. Under this logic, the "sex maniac" becomes the "victim".
Third, the girl's self-esteem and pride have become the auxiliary of evil.
Fang Siqi has a whole shelf of books and read many poems and novels. The drunken pottery of literature shaped her into an extremely sensitive and self-respecting girl. Teacher Li Guohua grasped her psychology of wanting both adults and children, won her admiration with the complete works of Nobel Prize, and gained her trust with the image of a good father. He first let her secretly love in her own context, let her feel the growth in words, and then let her soul cheat her body, accepting rape is the way for the teacher to love her.
"This is the way the teacher loves you, do you understand? Don't be angry with me. As an educated person, you should know that beauty does not belong to itself. You are so beautiful, but you can't belong to everyone forever. You have to belong to me. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? You are mine. You like the teacher, the teacher likes you, and we didn't do anything wrong. This is the best thing that two people who like each other can do. You can't be angry with me. You have no idea how brave I am to come this far. The first time I saw you, I knew you were my destiny takes a hand's little angel. You can blame me for going too far. You can blame me for going too far. But can you blame my love? Can you blame yourself for being beautiful? What's more, it will be Teacher's Day in a few days, and you are the best Teacher's Day gift in the world. "
Wen Yi is my sister. She lives in Si Qi Building. She is in her twenties and has a doctorate in comparative literature. She married her forty-year-old brother Qian Yiwei. Less than a year after marriage, she suffered a domestic violence and was beaten black and blue. Although she is a female doctor and has read many books, she did not choose to actively resist, stop and seek help when she suffered from domestic violence for the first time. But passively choose to wear high-necked long sleeves to cover up old and new bruises and maintain poor self-esteem. Her experience gave Fang Siqi a wrong demonstration, thinking that love is just hurt and pain, and women can only endure and pay, but can't talk to others.
Books can provide wisdom, but they can also produce toxins. Teacher Li Guohua instilled a distorted view of love by reciting and explaining Song of Eternal Sorrow. "The emperor of China, eager to shake the beauty of an empire, reigned for many years, looking for, never found. Until a child of the Yang family was born in the inner room before she grew up, no one knew her. " He compared himself to Tang and Fang Siqi, an educator. She is too beautiful to belong to everyone, only to him.
"Why are you crying?" "Yi Ting, would you be angry if I told you that I was with Miss Li?" "What do you mean?" "That's what you heard." "What do you mean together?" "That's what you heard." "When did it start?" "I forgot." "Does our mother know?" I don't know. "Where have you progressed?" "What should be done has been done, and what should not be done has also been done." "Oh my god, Fang Siqi, and Jenny, what are you doing? You are disgusting. You are disgusting. Stay away from me! "
Fang Siqi is in the formative stage of her world outlook. Although she doesn't know that true love is equal, mutual, respectful, loving, considerate and dedicated, she knows that such love makes her uncomfortable, dark, deformed, disgusting and immoral. She is not only happy to get the teacher's love, but also miserable for this dirty relationship. She wants to ask for help. Her mother's prejudice closed her heart, and her girlfriend's nausea made her even more helpless. The suffering of literature and art made her choose silence. She looked around, only the boundless darkness swallowed her up.
"An ancient Arab medical literature wrote that the human heart is divided into two atria, one called happiness and the other called despair." Fang Siqi listened to the teacher's sweet words and endured his rape. Intellectually, she thinks she is happy with the teacher's love. Intellectually, she knew it was wrong and shameful to do so, and her heart was full of despair. Happiness and despair have been fighting in her heart, making her cry all night, committing suicide again and again in the subconscious, being abused again and again in her dreams, and finally losing herself and becoming a madman.
Fourth, a smart girl is the easiest to be an angel with a broken wing.
Yi Ting's contempt blocked her last way out. No one can pull her out of the darkness. She can only write down her experiences and pains and dilute her feelings with ink.
"He said,' This is the way teachers love you, you know?' I thought to myself, he made a mistake. I'm not the kind of kid who would mistake my penis for a lollipop. We all admire teachers the most. We said that when we grow up, we should find a husband who is like a teacher. We will make a big joke and sincerely hope that the teacher is the husband. After thinking these days, I came up with the only solution. I can't just like the teacher, I want to fall in love with him. People you love can do anything to you, can't they? How great an idea is! I'm my former impostor. I want to love my teacher, otherwise I will be very miserable. "
A clever child only blames himself for his mistakes and knows that the teacher should not do so, but it is she who apologizes, knowing that the teacher has violated her, but trying to fall in love with him. Her patience and obedience connived at the teacher's crime and lost the evidence that the law protected her rights.
"Don't bother others, don't make demands on others, and don't make others unhappy." Such a clever girl is as kind as a lamb tied to a stake, and she can't run away when she meets a wolf. Such a girl only knows how to be clever and sensible, obedient and obedient, but she doesn't know how to protect herself by refusing unreasonable demands.
Long-term obedient education for girls made Siqi promise to hand in her homework next time after being molested by the teacher, giving the teacher a chance of sexual assault. After being raped by the teacher, the sense of shame made her just cry silently and fled to the street in the rain, suffering from traumatic amnesia, instead of resisting or telling her parents. When she finally got up the courage to talk to her best friend, her self-esteem still made her hide the truth of being raped, only saying "with the teacher", which caused Yi Ting's misunderstanding and was scolded and rejected. Smart as a lock, blocking the pain of injury in your heart until you go crazy.
Su Yuan, a Korean film based on a true event, tells the story of a clever little girl, Su Yuan, who refused her mother's escort when it rained. On her way to school alone, she saw her uncle standing in front of her in the rain. She promised to play an umbrella with her uncle, and she was sexually assaulted and injured by her abnormal uncle. It was found that she was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment, and that her lower body and intestines were stuffed with branches and hard objects. Finally, she was given an artificial uterus and most of her intestines were removed. From then on, she can only live with a shit bag.
Parents want their children to be obedient and sensible. I don't know how hidden dangers this kind of education has in children's hearts. Just like the Tang priest without the Monkey King's protection, walking on the road full of monsters, everyone wants to eat his meat, but he has no ability to resist, and the result can only be destruction.
Fifth, to eliminate sexual violence, the whole society should take action.
"Any sexual violence is' social', or it should be said that any sexual violence is not done by the perpetrator independently, but the assistance of the whole society to the perpetrator." Everyone should say "no" loudly about sexual assault on girls and domestic violence.
1 ? Parents are their children's first teachers, so they should teach their children correct sexual knowledge, so that they can have a sense of self-protection and stay away from harm. At the same time, parents should earnestly fulfill their responsibilities as protectors and always put their children under their own protection, instead of giving them to other men easily.
2? Girls should bravely resist unreasonable demands. Don't believe other people's sweet words, your kindness should be sharp, and people will not dare to start work on you easily. After the first injury, you can't choose to endure it, you can only choose to leave. Remember "patience is not a virtue".
3? Society should be more friendly to girls, instead of throwing men's dirty water on girls. We should condemn abusers and girls should be more friendly. We should eliminate the legacy of feudal chastity and establish the moral concept of modern society.
4? Further improve the punishment of the law for sexually assaulting girls, so that demons don't want to touch or dare to touch them. If they do this, they will not only lose their reputation and be sentenced to jail, but also pay economic compensation.