We often say that making friends and looking for a partner depends on whether the three views are consistent, because sometimes it will be really tiring to be together.
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When you are sharing happiness, they think you are putting on airs and showing off blindly.
When you are interested in sharing your interesting stories on the road, they say you might as well stay at home.
You read a good book and want to share it with them, but they feel that they are pretending to be literary youth;
You like fitness, like traveling, and strive to enrich yourself, but they say sourly, "Being rich is willful."
Happiness can't be hidden. You often want to share it with others, but once you share it with the wrong person, others will think you are pretending. Because people can't see the goodness of others, when you are in high spirits, people often bring you a pot of cold water and say a few sarcastic words, so the original happy good mood disappears.
People with different views not only don't understand your happiness, but also don't understand your sadness.
I remember another visit to Tibet, where there were many interesting new things I wanted to give her. I told her that I went to Tibet to play. The next thing I wanted to say was to give you many gifts, but the words haven't come out yet. As a result, the other party replied to me, and I was too choked to say anything.
It's not easy for everyone to understand you. Being with the wrong person is melodramatic.
You are heartbroken and sad to death. They said you were putting on airs.
You stayed up late to work overtime, and they said you fell into the money;
You are depressed because you failed in the exam. They said they knew you couldn't do it. ......
People with different views, their emotions and yours will never be on the same frequency, and your ideas will always run counter to each other. Communication is like a chicken talking to a duck, and fatigue is inevitable.
There is no need to invite too many people into life. There are more friends with different views, and the more lively, the more deserted.
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On the contrary, getting along with people from three views can be described as "comfortable"
I really hope that when you laugh, you can sit next to someone who laughs with you.
The right circle will accept all your goodness and will not be jealous.
A true friend will be really happy for you and won't say you show off.
There are always some people who can't see you, but you can see people clearly, who are true friends and who are just passers-by.
In Friends, Joey is an actor with no fixed income, and Chandler is an elite in the workplace, but Joey has never been jealous of his friends. When Chandler was promoted, Joey was as happy as if he had been promoted.
Chandler told his wife when Joey lost his job that we would buy a house and bring a utility room so that Joey could spend his old age there.
There are so many places around everyone, and a few people who are comfortable with each other are enough.
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Of course, when I say like-minded, I don't mean that my thoughts are exactly the same, but that I can understand your differences.
You like roadside snacks, and I like exquisite dishes. This is not a disagreement.
But you insisted that I was pretending to eat food, and roadside stalls were the choice of civilians. This is the disharmony between the three views.
You like leisure work, but you are willing to support my life around the world; You are not keen on going out, but you think my trip is really cool. You know nothing about cooking, but you are equally interested in listening to me talk about all kinds of delicious food. This is seeking common ground while reserving differences.
See a question in Zhihu: If you have been to 100 countries, what kind of experience will it be?
One answer impressed me deeply-"I understand that there is no absolute right in this world, and I can accept that others have different three views and their derived ways of thinking."
In this age full of prejudice, incomprehension and even abuse, it is very important to accept that others have different views and different lifestyles.
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I remember chatting with my friends again. She said that her new job depressed her. Her friend pays great attention to appearance and spends time dressing up every day. But the eldest sister in the office always pokes her behind her back, saying that she is not motivated in her work and wants to get ahead by her beauty. She likes to buy some delicious food for her colleagues, but sarcastically says that she is pretending to be a good person every day.
The friend said gloomily, "Are we trying not to understand for a better life?" ? My painstaking efforts have become ulterior motives in their eyes? "
People come and go in life, some people understand you, and naturally some people don't like you. You don't need to explain what you don't like, just live happily.
If your current circle is not ideal, don't be afraid that you are the unsociable part. What you really need to do is make yourself interesting.
One day, they will find that you have grown to a height beyond their reach. Those who used to be sarcastic, in turn, want to ask you.
Sometimes we feel lonely, not because we are unaccompanied, but because no one understands.
But who in this world can be praised and understood by everyone?
People who are really awesome first make their lives wonderful and interesting, and people who combine the three views will naturally get closer.
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In this world, it is not easy to meet like-minded people, but it is really lucky.
The combination of San Mao and Jose is the result of two interesting souls eager to walk with each other. San Mao said that what she wanted to do was incredible to others, and only Jose took it for granted.
When talking about his good friend Mo Yan, Yu Hua once said, "Mo Yan and I live in the same dormitory. I know all his problems, and he knows mine, but we don't talk about them. "
Life is not long, so don't waste it on people and things that make you unhappy. As long as you become interesting, you will attract people and circles who appreciate you sooner or later.
The world is big and people come and go. I hope you can meet someone who fits the three views as soon as possible, and live a happy life with someone who understands and hurts.