* * * Enjoy a practical example.
The boy is 8 years old, and his mother brought the child to consult him, saying that he thinks his child has a tendency to be masculine, talks like a girl, always has blue fingers up, especially likes to clean up the housework, and has a serious cleanliness addiction.
By combing the family economic situation, we found that most boys were brought up by their mothers. My mother is a music teacher. She looks beautiful and manly. Mom is a clean person. She told herself that in some cases she would clean the house seven or eight times a day.
It seems that everyone has found the reason why children are more masculine, but just these characteristics of mothers, how can a child have such an obvious masculine trend? Everyone knows the family environment very well, and many mothers also have this characteristic, and their children are also normal.
After further mastering, we found that the boy's father has been abroad for a long time, and the time he can spend with his children in a year is numbered. In most cases, all children's development, dad is absent. And this boy is the only child in the family. Those who have been with their children for a long time have no brand image of men except their mothers.
Dad has earned a lot of money over the years, and Xian Yi, old and young, has also earned two or three houses, so he has problems with his relatives. The wife has all kinds of complaints in her heart, and the child is not close to her father. Nowadays, male chauvinism is more serious, and he is teased by his deskmate on campus. Because of this, father and mother quarrel normally, blaming mother for not shaping the child well.
The child's experience, of course, has problems in the field of mother shaping, but the serious absence of his father is the key reason. Psychologist Gerdi said: the occurrence of father is a unique existence, which has great energy for shaping children. Children's intimacy mainly comes from their mothers, while their consciousness mainly comes from the energy and sense of belonging given by their fathers.
Intimacy and consciousness are the requirements of two development trends of human beings, and they are indispensable. Especially for boys, father is a model of male brand image in his life! If children are to be brave alone, fathers need to set an example.
Dad's company is conducive to the development trend of children's temperament. When the boy grows up, he lacks the companionship of the father role. When a boy grows up, it is easy for him to have more feminine characteristics, which is often said that he lacks masculinity.
Boys who are often accompanied by their fathers are also more confident and optimistic.
We also found that the longer a father spends with his children, the higher their average IQ will be. There will be a study in the United States that children whose fathers spend15 minutes or more every day have significantly greater intelligence than children without fathers. Children with more fathers have stronger thinking ability and better math scores.
In order to shape a good boy, dad must do the following: 1, play sports games with children.
Children who are accompanied by their fathers are generally more capable of operation and work. Fathers prefer to take their children to do some independent sports and adventure sports or mobile games, which promotes the development trend of children's fitness function.
2. Be a child's "fetal gender coordinate"
Dad plays a leading role in boys' gender consciousness. In social psychology, people call father the "fetal gender coordinate" of children, because father is the first male brand image that children come into contact with.
When the child is four or five years old and the gender consciousness is budding, the boy will refer to his father's brand image and create his own prediction of the future male brand image. Boys who lack their father's company are likely to lose their self-confidence and ability to finish their work independently when they grow up, leading to academic failure.
3. Communicate with your son in theme style.
The more communication with dad, the more likely the child will become a child with logical thinking and creativity. Fathers can use the morning and evening time to discuss and communicate with their children "casually" on a certain theme style.
Note: When the child is talking, the father should show interest and pay attention to listening. Dad should play the role of "good friend" at this moment. This method can help children learn to be a listener and communicator.
4. Teach children how to learn.
Compared with mother, father's thinking logic, innovative thinking ability and operational ability are stronger. Fathers can accompany their children to do some small scientific experiments, hand-made or research projects, which will be more effective than mothers' study and training.
It is very important for dad to arouse children's inner drive and confidence, so that children can get satisfaction in learning, shape their memory ability and concentration in the process of acquiring knowledge, and let children master learning methods.
5. Encourage children and shape their self-confidence.
Compared with mothers, fathers can better guide children to reflect on themselves, learn from mistakes and bear adverse effects. Fathers encourage their children to think independently, which in turn will make them more confident.
We can see that the role of father in children's development is different from that of mother. Father and mother are like the wings of a child. If the father is invisible, one of the child's wings will break. Fathers should realize their unique practical significance to their children. They don't always have to shift the responsibility of parenting education to their mothers. Spend more time with your children!