19: 15 I'm sitting at the end of the second floor of this steak house called Shore, facing the window. The floor-to-ceiling glass is turned into a huge mirror by the reflection of the lamp light, and I can see the expression of everyone behind me unscrupulously, with a little secret pleasure. They tried to play with shiny knives and forks gracefully, and the women cut off a small piece of meat, perhaps bloodshot, and sent it into their mouths with gentle and lovely lights, smiling skillfully.
They won't remember that three years ago, it was filled with choking smoke all day. Dark and gloomy, the keyboard is broken, the computer fan is buzzing, and countless women are smiling at the white screen. Smile skillfully.
Speaking of which, you may be tired of guessing whether there is a bourgeois Bohemian love story in Southeast Asia ... but I just want to talk about my good friend Nana.
Nana sits quietly opposite me, and we occasionally smile at each other. Of course, they won't know that this weird Internet cafe has an even weirder name, called Yiyi. We have never been very good at reading, so we have to call it a fork, which seems to be a big mistake. And the position where we are sitting now used to be our favorite 48, 49. Every night after eight o'clock, it began to play Marilyn Manson, with heavy drums and hoarse voice. Do it again. Hear everyone from suffocation to freezing cold. Grandma, I called her. Your cuffs are dirty. She ignored me and lowered her head to step on her shadow. She is always so naughty. The dark red stain gradually glowed with the sauce color of steak under the warm yellow light.
Nana. How did we meet? I almost forgot that he gave me an absent-minded look and then continued to look for her shadow, this fool, fool. It's early spring and I'm smiling. She took my breakfast by mistake. I only remember those hands with white gloves. It was not until the second year of high school was divided into classes in arts and sciences that I met this little devil-like girl again. It is not difficult to recognize her in the crowd, because she has an avant-garde and strange sign-she wears gloves all the year round. Woven, soft leather, pure hemp, crocheted, embroidered, wrapped her slender fingers warmly and tightly, but I didn't feel any temperature to the touch. Sometimes I walk hand in hand with her in the street, and I think I'm wearing gloves. This has been bothering me.
Nana smiles like a charming kitten. There are three shallow 60 V-shaped wrinkles on her nose, and the corners of her eyes will slightly stir up 15 degrees. In addition, there are three light brown freckles on her right cheekbone, which are arranged in a 45 isosceles right triangle. Even these things are measured accurately, which shows that the course is really difficult. The most common things to do are: erect the textbook, hold your head with your arms tilted, nod and smile thoughtfully with the rhythm of the teacher's lecture, read the constellation magazine under the cover of the textbook with peace of mind, do psychological tests, eat plum blossoms sold by cypress trees, or play gobang with paper balls on the chessboard painted on the desktop, and occasionally make some strange bets. For example, Nana once claimed that she could make the ordinary girl behind her beautiful with words, so she said to the girl every morning when she was studying: Your skin. Your teeth are white. You have a brilliant smile, and today's clothes suit you very well ... The magical girl is really getting smarter every day. Nana tilted her head and smiled. See, she is more effective than Lancome. It's a pity that there are too few generous people like me now!
Even if it is such a waste, I can get good grades in math as long as I don't take shorthand for five minutes every month, and I haven't passed the exam since I entered high school! For my jealousy, Nana always proudly raises her eyebrows and recites the old saying: What is talent and what is heaven? I think park geun-hye stands out and the other one is me! But I immediately felt sad like a little wife. If you really think it's unfair, beat me up. Well (expressing hesitation, etc.) ... I want to make it clear that Nana's first year is a senior one, which is indeed a legendary task of mathematics. Of course, I never want to hit her. Sadness played a role, but more importantly, she was more savage than me.
After the arrangement, a parent-teacher meeting was held and Nana's parents were asked if they would come. She said in an understatement that they were very busy and had not come to the parent-teacher conference. She went on to say, what are you afraid of Hire one. We sat on the edge of the street and studied buying a middle-aged woman. Many people just look at it and run away. Finally, we met a shoe shine girl with good temperament, paid a deposit and told her to remember to call us early that morning to confirm. We were arranged to eat happily in the street. Nana always eats well, whether in a good mood or in a bad mood. She doesn't chew much, just keeps swallowing. She says she likes the feeling of dying. That time she ate two fried Lamian Noodles, five salad buns and a cup of milk tea! I have seen her eat a roast chicken into a skeleton in 20 minutes, just like an cartoon!
On the day of the parents' meeting, her "mother" didn't contact us, and time was running out. We hurried to the street and dragged a woman who cooked jiaozi to the meeting place. Nana led the "mother" to introduce to the teacher: This is my mother! The teacher looked amazed. Don't look too far at Nana's position. The woman who shined shoes has sat on it and waved and nodded to Nana! Nana could only smile sweetly at the teacher, turned around and slipped away. The teacher suppressed his anger and asked your parents to come to the meeting alone.
In the evening, when the phone calls, I feel that as a good friend, I have the responsibility to comfort her. There was a crunching sound on the other end of the phone, so it was difficult to guess her mood. I'm just making up my story. She took time out of her busy schedule and said vaguely, no, I'll go out to find a pair of long-term parents right away ... By the way, shall we go to eat Napoleon Crisp tomorrow morning?
That's good ... I just got stuck at the root of my tongue and couldn't catch the words to answer. I know Napoleon in the wheat field is delicious, with layers of pastry, cream pudding and raisins on it. She has found her parents. I wrapped my forefinger around the telephone line in confusion, which was good. ...
I have been to grandma's house. Although the floor is warm, the air in the room is very cold. Although there are piles of furniture full of pits and valleys, obviously nothing is empty. Nana's puppy will be overjoyed at your arrival, jump on you and bark so hard that it almost shakes its tail off. Nana drank his enthusiasm wearily and ordered him to stand as punishment. When we finished eating, Bao Xiao stood obediently on the sofa, his front foot pressed against the wall, and didn't look back, looking forward to his master's pardon with soft pleading eyes. Nana rubbed Bao Xiao's departure: I don't care if they come back less, but Bao Xiao is too lonely. She looked through the window and put it far away on the other side of the sky. It looks as if an old man has experienced a change in his life. I wanted to ask her about her parents, but my lips moved and I didn't say anything at last.
I often watch Nana on the roof for a long time. She walked slowly with her back to the sun. She is talking to others with an excited face. She sat on the steps and gulped down water. She looked at another person quietly. She made a funny gesture ............................................................................................................................................................................ From any angle, she is not good. Exquisite waist, proud and graceful chest line, soft and flying short hair, I can even see her feathery eyelashes from the silhouette on the ground and feel the sunlight reflected by her brown pupils. At that moment, how much I loved her.
Nana, I love you.
Night lessons in the dark force us to find all kinds of strange excuses to get some air. When I crept downstairs and saw that the playground of Nuoda was empty, I had the desire to run and scream with open arms. There are two swings at the end of the runway. Nana always closes her eyes, swings to the highest point, then falls quickly, swings and falls again, feeling the fear of slight weightlessness. The cold wind passes through the body quickly and has not even been inhaled. She thought of a bird that longed to fly but had its feathers cut off at night, flying and falling in vain again and again. Finally, Nana was tired. She leaned back a little, looked at the stars flowing freely at the zenith like broken diamonds, and giggled, Pinellia, if you look at the sky like this, you will mistake it for a deep blue lake. Those trees are like reflections growing in the water, and I will feel like a fish, heh …
She gently sang her favorite "Forced Eyebrows", sang it once and started again. After a long time, she didn't know where to start and where to end. She can't finish singing. She watched her sweet lips gently close, and the rosy lip gloss turned into ice white in the faint moonlight. This leprechaun wears faint lipstick every day. Although it is against the school rules, it is still pleasing to the eye. Her rustling voice pierced our hearts through the deep sadness when we were young. Three years later, when I think of such a night, my heart will tighten sharply.
She suddenly took my hand to see the handsome guy! I forgot to say that there were few Internet cafes three years ago, especially those with handsome young bosses. Nana read his name to me many times, but I still can't remember it. I insisted that he rob me.
At 48-49 at the end of the second floor, you can just see the man from a mysterious angle. Every time she passed the half-closed door, Nana always held her breath and peeped at him carefully out of the corner of her eye, her eyes dignified and distant. She took my hand and trembled slightly because of hard work. I can even feel the warm and moist moisture under her hands transpiration from the cracks in the fibers to my palm.
I don't like a man who is so gloomy in an internet cafe and listens to death goth. Rob looks like a Japanese, with thin lines on his face and forbearance. It seems that he is not a natural person who likes to laugh. Occasionally, when we pass by, Nana, who has a glib tongue, will suddenly choke up and be incoherent, trying to restrain her hands from touching his face. There was a violent and abrupt pulse from the root of the finger, followed by Manlin Manson, again and again.
Nana, are you in love with him? I finally asked her. As if she didn't hear my question, she gently swung on the swing and sang her "Forced Eyebrow". I don't know how long it took, but she jumped off the swing and suddenly turned around and giggled. Hey, he asked me out tonight. My swing rope was out of balance and swayed a few times. I'm a little confused. So ... well, I watched my wife spin and spin under the starry sky with open arms, stirring the rich night, and the strawberry sweetness of her lipstick began to float in the air, and her face was filled with happiness I had never seen before.
In the later days, the position around me began to be empty for a long time, and I felt unprecedented loneliness. Even if one day she comes to class, she will either sleep at her desk or study the secret recipe of losing weight. Potato meal, apple meal, vegetable soup until vomiting. Remember to chat with me once in a while. The theme is no longer constellation snacks or beauty stickers.
Pinellia, he not only looks cold, but also has cold lips. Oh, do you think his blood circulation is not good?
Pinellia, he took me to meet his friends. Everyone smokes, so I can't help lighting one. It's actually quite fun.
Pinellia, I drank a dozen pineapple beers in Mambo the day before yesterday and got drunk on the sofa for a day and a night. It's useless. ...
Pinellia, do you think he will like my hair dyed red or purple?
Pinellia ternata
I looked at Nana silently, watching her disappear from my world bit by bit with a rotten smell. I can't let her leave because I love her too much.
Yes, I quarreled with her for the first time in a long time. At first, she retorted angrily, but then she just frowned wearily and put up with my sharper words until my crying died down. Her eyes stayed on my chest and fluctuated violently for a long time. She calmly said that he loved me. Looking at the firmness in her eyes, I suddenly felt that all this was ridiculous. I can't help laughing. Who are you kidding? How can a man like him love a little girl who secretly looks at him! hahaha ......
Finally, a few days later, Nana began to go to school as I wished. Although she doesn't talk to me much, she occasionally has inexplicable laughter and tears on the pages. More often, she just lies there motionless and gasps for air. I feel sad, but anyway, as long as she is around, I will feel very quiet.
On the seventh day of the Cold War, Nana was in a much better mood and began to hum songs and read some miscellaneous books, snickering to herself. I'm relieved that nothing can pass. It's true. Nana suddenly touched me with her arm, and she shone in generate for a long time. Have you seen Farewell to Vian? I miss Joe very much! I disdain to look at the sky, melodramatic! Nana kept smiling at the corner of her mouth, but she didn't speak again.
She didn't come to class this afternoon and went to Shanghai alone. I didn't know until she came back. She described every moment of her stay in Shanghai with joy. Pinellia, I met a good man on the plane, helped me put my luggage under a blanket, took me to the hotel, and then left without saying goodbye ... I also went to bars in hengshan road and Maoming South Road, and worked at McDonald's for a day, at 3.5 1 yuan an hour.
The ice cream shop in Haagen-Dazs is very beautiful, the house is strange/the color is different/full of dust, hehe ... In China/Pavilion/Yi Shi/Dan/I saw a woman who looks/looks/looks/bamboo//wild//rich/,and the woman who can make him laugh must be very happy. ...
This trip seems to make her very happy, and it is worthwhile to be punished for skipping classes. We looked at each other with a smile, tears streaming down our faces, and our fingers crossed, as if we had gone back to the past.
On April 26th, it rained in Mao Mao for two weeks and finally cleared up. The water on the ground showed the blue color of Tiandong due to the reflection of Yangguan. I don't want to skip the morning reading after eating cookies and queue up to sell Montessori steamed dumplings. While dawdling with a paper bag, I happened to bump into Nana who hurried downstairs. Hey, it's almost time for class, and you still go out? Do you want a steamed dumpling? She hurried back: I'm so tired, go home and sleep. I just watched my grandmother disappear in the bright sunshine in the late spring morning.
I saw her again at the farewell ceremony of the body! The makeup artist painted her with harsh and inferior lipstick, and she lay pale and silent in a glass coffin, sleeping soundly. When the cremator pushed the flatbed car into the FH furnace full of orange-blue flames with a straight face, I heard her cry.
At 3 o'clock in the morning on the 27th, she cut her slender wrist, and the sticky blood washed away the scattered palm prints along her fingertips, dripping onto the wooden floor and infiltrating into every crack. Don't cut all the gloves into messy pieces and scatter them all over the floor, dyeing them into scarlet colorful totems. The white shirt on her body is still better than snow, and the blood is only stained with a small decadent dark flower on the cuff.
I have tears in my heart, but I can't fall. I always smile when I watch the teacher lecture with strange body language and twisted blackboard writing. It must be. There must be something wrong.
The cause of her death once caused an uproar, and there were various versions, including the pressure of entering a higher school, the pain of lovelorn, the fear of early pregnancy, and even absurd love killing. Everyone is talking about it vividly. At lunch, I heard a boy in the back say loudly that he had seen Nana often vomit by the pool. Probably hahaha ... a group of unscrupulous laughter debunked my guess. I swallowed a mouthful of rice, walked to their table with a sweet face, picked up a bottle of coke, looked at him for three seconds, and then angrily spilled it on his disgusting mop head, slowly saying that it was not true.
Yes, nobody knows the truth except me.
Nana, I love you.
Grandma used to read my palm. While carefully stroking the lines on my palm in the sun, she laughed and cursed: You are so lucky that you will never die and have twins! The reflected sunlight dyed the light fluff on her face light gold, and she looked up at me in surprise. What a warm freeze. I also tried to find out whether she would get married twice. She hid her hand behind her back and refused to show it to me. We laughed wildly ... She suddenly put away her smile and looked at me affectionately: Do you really want to see my hand? I was dumbfounded by her sudden seriousness. She lowered her head and slowly took off her gloves. Then I saw a pair of mottled hands. Large and small round white spots spread from her wrist to her fingertips, devouring Nana's delicate skin. I can't describe the shock. I lost my language ability in an instant. I subconsciously grabbed Nana's hand and held it tightly. Without gloves, she will be cold. When she felt the warmth of my palm, she finally burst into tears, and then I hugged her and cried. I touched the most painful wound in her fate.
One day when Nana was in junior high school, she suddenly found that the back of her hand was as white as a fingernail. Soon, more white spots appeared, and they kept expanding and eating. I didn't know until I went to the hospital that this disease is called white erosion, which is not contagious and will not bring organic damage. Nana just doesn't like me a little, and she also realizes that they cast a heavy shadow on life. I knew that one day my classmates quarreled, and the boy was speechless by Nana. In a rage, he pointed to Nana and said disdainfully, Flower Hands! The students behind him laughed their heads off because of this intuitive metaphor, and no one noticed the tears falling on Nana's face.
This is the first and last time that Nana cried in public because of her hands. On the bus, people can always hear all kinds of amazing whispers. People looked at the hand and then at its owner, and their sharp eyes blinked at her confidence and courage. Nana just silently endured it. Once she met her mother's colleague with her child. Nana reached out to pull the girl in a friendly way, and her mother's screams suddenly pierced the air: Ah! What beautiful hands you have! Don't touch her, be careful of infection! Her disdain attracted the attention of some passers-by. Nana's hands froze in midair, and then slowly hung down in the room. She turned around with curious eyes and went home to put on her first pair of gloves. If others will only mercilessly open her wound, Nana can only lick the blood in the sky alone and wrap this crack that will spray blood at any time with gloves day and night. No more tears.
Nana sobbed while crying, and our clenched hands were covered with warm tears. She looked up with tears in her eyelashes. Pinellia, am I really so ugly?
I admit that I am crazy. I am crazy to protect my fragile Nana. After my only quarrel with her, I became more and more afraid that the unrecognizable man would take Nana away. Any unintentional disgust in his eyes and any disdainful expression will stab Nana to pieces. Nana can't stop. I have to talk to Rob.
Rob sat in front of me and kept looking at his watch. It seems difficult for him to accept a little girl's sermon. I didn't mean to, really not, but his disdain really angered me. My mind was blank and I impulsively shouted to him: If you abandon Nana because of her hand, I will not spare you! His faint eyes slowly moved to my face: you mean, her hands ... my heart couldn't beat in an instant, as if all cells were crushed by cold body fluids. I wonder when he left. I really didn't mean to.
After a few days, Nana finally came back to me, smelling the sadness all over her body. I imagined the shock and instinctive disgust when I saw Nana's hand, Nana's tragic smile on her face and her complete disappointment with the world. It was these mottled hands that crushed the only love she thought she had, and how much she longed for the love of others. I feel guilty and afraid in my restless sleep every night. I pray to God countless times not to let her leave me. I am willing to bear all the punishment.
How do I know Nana will go to Shanghai for her final farewell? Walking on every familiar road, smiling brightly, to others, she is just a simple and happy passerby. On the last night when she left Shanghai, Nana stood in the glass window of the hotel17th floor, looking at the continuing traffic, the fuzzy neon lights around her, the slightly reddish sky with thin clouds, and the vibrant city. She numbly took out a whole pack of 35. In the morning, she pinched the last cigarette and left quietly without browsing.
Tired of getting off the plane, the house is brightly lit, Bao Xiao is screaming, and someone is playing mahjong. Mother looked up in the thick smoke and noisy laughter, quickly looked down at the cards in front of her and said indifferently, Oh, you are out of school. Chicken! I touched it! Nana went straight into the room.
Many people are puzzled by the sudden death of a girl who usually smiles like a flower. Her mother lost her voice in pain: tell me, why did she leave me! I didn't give her what she wanted, computer, mobile phone, new clothes. Why? Why! Her mother will never understand Nana's disappointment and emptiness. What she needs may be some kind words of encouragement from people around her, a smile and affirmative eyes from her beloved, or a bowl of misty hot soup from her mother. When she reached out her hand, she caught nothing. How desperate.
For a long time after her death, I seemed to be separated from my other half and lived a walking life, which may be God's timely punishment for me. I'm surrounded by new people. What I often do is to erect textbooks, support my head with my arms, read horoscope magazines alone, do more psychological tests alone, buy Bai Yi's fragrant plums, play gobang by myself, and occasionally smile with my head sideways, but there is no one around. I can't accept such disappointment several times a day. I pinch my fingers angrily until I am blue. I stubbornly kept the habit of staring at her on the roof. She walked slowly with her back to the sun. She talked to others with excitement on her face. She sat on the steps and gulped down water. She looked at a person quietly. She made a funny gesture ............................................................................................................................................................................ One day I opened an English book absently, and suddenly I was surprised to publish Nana's scrawled handwriting on the header, which was left on the morning of my disappearance: "Pinellia, my illness has worsened recently, and they have spread to my neck." I really can't spend the summer with you in the suspender skirt we bought together. " Goodbye. "
Tears accumulated for a long time blurred all the pictures and finally poured out. In a sad trance, Nana opened the second drawer on the left hand side of the bedroom table, lipstick, and all I saw was lipstick. My grandmother picked up a paper towel and wiped the lead from her lips. She looked up at me shyly. You see, this is the original color of my lips In the dim light, Nana's white lips have perfect radian, and she is smiling.
You know, I'm an accomplice. I conspired with that man and all the despicable people to kill my favorite Nana. At any moment, I saw Rob sitting in front of me again and again, and his faint eyes slowly moved to my face: You mean, her hand ... an unconscious plot began, and everything fell into ruin. Yes, I can't do anything, but I must do something. I was crushed by punishment day and night. I picked up the phone and heard my calm voice: is it the comprehensive management bureau? I want to report a black internet cafe ... well, the fire prevention and ventilation conditions are extremely poor and the environment is unhealthy. Many minors stay up all night. ...
2 1: 08, I sat at the end of the second floor of this steak house called Shore, facing the window. The floor-to-ceiling glass is reflected by the light and becomes a huge mirror. Behind is a table after table of lingering men and women. Women still cut small pieces of meat, perhaps bloodshot, and put them into their mouths with gentle and lovely lights, smiling skillfully. I looked at the opposite glass for a long time, and there was a quiet man sitting there. The coffee in front of her is stuffy and hot. That's my own shadow. Suddenly I remembered, Nana, I love you so much, but I always forget to tell you I love you myself.
End of the full text. . . . .
It is not easy to remove sensitive words line by line.