After a while, Pei Zi woke up, too. I saw him get out of bed and go straight to grandma's room opposite. When I finished washing clothes, I found Pepe still sitting on grandma's bed, bowing her head and brushing Tik Tok. He skillfully flipped the screen with his fingers and switched between different vibrato videos, while her mother-in-law sat by and smiled at the playing children.
This has happened many times, although I have stopped it many times. I was particularly depressed, but I tried to control my emotions and said to my mother-in-law, "The child is too young to play with the mobile phone. They always let their children brush Tik Tok, which will not only break their eyes, but also make their children develop bad habits. "
Mother-in-law immediately begged, "He wants to play, not me."
I had to reason with her: "What do children over one year old know? What can and can't be done needs our adults to check. Children play with knives, don't you give them knives, too? You also opened this mobile phone for him. "
My mother-in-law said, "If I don't give it to him, I will cry. Why should I let my child cry in the early morning? "
I am even more speechless. This is the concept of many old people taking care of their children: don't let them cry, let them do whatever they want.
I stopped talking and tried to leave with my child with my mobile phone. When the mobile phone was taken away, Pei Zi cried very sadly and even resisted my hug. The child's tears and resistance to me made me particularly uncomfortable. Why does the old man refuse to listen to what I have emphasized many times? Why do my family reject me when I try to discipline my children correctly? What did I do wrong?
I silently carried the child to the living room to change clothes. After a while, my mother-in-law shouted, "I can't walk!" " Maybe my mother-in-law got out of bed and acted in a hurry. Her ankle suddenly hurts like a needle, and she can't move.
Father Pei heard the sound of running out of the kitchen and asked what was going on. Mother-in-law said loudly: "What does it matter to let children play with their mobile phones for dozens of minutes?" I was in a hurry and sprained my hamstring. "
I'm also worried that old people can't walk. If nothing else, I can't take care of her or the children at work. I can hear this sentence but I am full of grievances. Is it reasonable for the elderly to indulge their children in playing mobile phones? Don't you need a good education to raise children? So I want to ask, "Is your foot okay?" It turned out to be "Mom, is it my fault that you twisted your foot?"
We all expressed our dissatisfaction, but the tone was very grievance. After that, everyone was silent and everything remained the same. I do housework, my husband is busy in the kitchen, Pei Zi is playing in the living room, and her mother-in-law is watching, but the atmosphere is particularly dull. Later, Dad Pei came out of the kitchen. I called my mother-in-law to have breakfast, and the old man responded to me immediately. This matter is over.
The concept of parenting is inconsistent. How to communicate between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to avoid contradictions? 1, instill more scientific parenting knowledge into the elderly.
Many times, old people like to spoil their children and give them whatever they want. Parents should give their children unconditional love, especially children under three years old, and should try their best to meet all their needs and give them enough sense of security. But this unconditional behavior should be conducive to the healthy development of children's body and mind, and it is the correct care and love for children.
Indulge children in playing mobile phones. This satisfaction for children is not love, but deep injury. Do you still remember last year's news report that a two-year-old girl in Yangzhou spent too much time playing with her mobile phone, resulting in 900-degree irreversible myopia? In fact, many times, children's words and deeds are imitated from adults. After all, children and adults live together day and night, and they are closely related.
My mother-in-law likes playing mobile phones herself. I used to brush Tik Tok in front of children, fighting landlords, and one of them has been damaged by Pei Zi's mobile phone. I often tell her not to play in front of the children, which is not good for them. Now that the child is only over one year old, he can brush Tik Tok so skillfully. Didn't he learn it from his grandmother?
It is difficult to take care of children. After all, children in the sensitive period of walking can't be quiet for a moment. So I often say to my mother-in-law: let the children play by themselves, don't disturb them, adults will take care of them and pay attention to safety; If children invite us to play, we should actively participate and interact with them seriously. For example, Pei Zi can often carry the building blocks from the storage box to his toy basket, run back and forth, play over and over again, and don't let others move. Then let the children play by themselves, and the old man can have a rest.
Many families have to work with me to support their families. Usually, the old people at home are looking after the children. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can communicate more and share some correct and scientific parenting knowledge with the elderly. When you come home from work every day, you should pay attention to whether your child has scars, ask about your child's daily activities and diet, and correct the wrong practices of the elderly in time. For example, in recent months, I have asked a question every day, "Where are the children playing? Are there many people? " Because Pei Zi resisted wearing a mask, I reminded my mother-in-law that it was not safe to take her children to crowded places as little as possible.
2. Pay attention to the expression when making suggestions.
Because of different ideas, the older generation and we often have different views on how to take care of children. For example, my mother-in-law likes breast-feeding and opposes wearing diapers for her children. She thinks that watching TV and playing mobile phones will not have any impact on children. Moreover, as we all know, feeding not only deprives children of the ability to train their hands and the opportunity to develop fine movements, but also is not conducive to the healthy growth of children, and it is easy for children to develop bad habits of relying on others and lacking independence.
If you have a problem, how can you bring it up to the old people? First of all, try not to blame, criticize or express dissatisfaction. The elderly are willing to help with the children and let us go to work with peace of mind, which is our greatest support. Taking care of children is a particularly hard thing. If old people don't educate their children in the right way, they should point it out. We should express it sincerely on the basis of respecting the elderly, and avoid the feelings of dissatisfaction, accusation and complaint, so that the elderly feel uncomfortable.
The second is to be patient and reasonable. When the old man is old, many places will be as persistent, stubborn and even willful as children. We should be patient and reasonable, so that they can understand why we can't do this. Just like wearing open-backed pants, Pepe never wears them, even in hot summer. But grandma thinks he won't go to the toilet by himself when he is over one year old, all because I wear diapers and crotch pants for my children. She can't figure out why her children, including many children nowadays, wear open-backed pants naked. Why should I give my children diapers to make them feel so uncomfortable?
We all think about the problem from the perspective of taking care of the children, but we can't communicate with her until now. Although my mother-in-law disapproves, she still respects my practice in most cases. Sometimes I really feel bad for my children, so I let them pee their pants. Because I repeatedly told her that diapers can be changed in thickness, but wearing open-backed pants is not hygienic at all, and it is easy to cause children to be injured. The old man listened.
3. Try to let the elderly rest.
Peizai is the time when he can walk and run around and destroy. The child is full of energy and destructive. It is very tiring to meet his activity requirements and ensure his safety for several hours.
So the old man helps to take care of the children and try to let them rest. Usually in the morning, my father and I go out to work, and my mother-in-law helps me with my children. Children go to bed at noon, usually about three hours. In the afternoon, the mother-in-law takes the children out to play for an hour or two. The rest of the time, the children are not in her charge, and she is not allowed to do other things at home.
After dinner, my mother-in-law will go out for a walk or dance in square dance to exercise, and go home to play with her mobile phone and brush Tik Tok, and we won't stop her.
Finally, I want to say that it is not easy to go out to work to support the family, and it is not easy for the older generation to take care of their children at home. If the old man does something wrong, the daughter-in-law should point it out, but pay attention to the way, respect each other and affirm each other's efforts, so as to effectively solve the problem and reduce the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Family harmony is the best nutrient for children to grow up!