Physical tension is a manifestation of physical anxiety. In fear and anxiety, physical tension is regulated by autonomic nerves and stress hormones, among which autonomic nerves play the most important role.
The world is not perfect. Family and friends all have shortcomings. Perfection can be met but not sought, and it is necessary to "be content with happiness."
Tolerance and understanding not only make it easier to get along with others, but also make it less demanding of your own behavior.
Don't be a slave to the clock, try to finish the work within the time limit, and remember that "haste makes waste".
It is impossible to please everyone, and there is no need to try. The original intention of "popularity" is to let others appreciate you personally, not your best performance.
"Speaking from the heart", frankness and directness can eliminate many obstacles and psychological pressure.
Have confidence in yourself, you have the same desire as others.
● Don't blame yourself too much, everyone has moments of hesitation; Don't care too much about "love" and "hate"
● Don't feel sorry for yourself. Your experience is not important, but your reaction to it is the most important.
Ease the tension
Today's world is a highly competitive, fast-paced and efficient society, which inevitably brings people a lot of tension and pressure. Mental stress is generally divided into three types: weak, moderate and enhanced. People need moderate mental stress, because it is a necessary condition for people to solve problems. But the mental stress is too great, which is not conducive to solving the problem. From the point of view of physiological psychology, if people are in a state of tension beyond physiological intensity for a long time and appear repeatedly, they are easy to be impatient, excited and angry, which will lead to neurological dysfunction in the brain and be harmful to health. Therefore, it is necessary to overcome nervousness and try to free yourself from nervousness.
To effectively eliminate tension, fundamentally speaking, first, we should lower our demands on ourselves. If a person is very competitive, strives for perfection in everything and strives for the best in everything, he will naturally feel pressed for time and in a hurry (psychologists call it "type A personality"). And if you can clearly understand the limitations of your own ability and energy, lower your demands on yourself, and consider everything from a long-term and overall perspective, don't care too much about the gains and losses of one place at a time, and don't care too much about other people's opinions and evaluations of yourself, and your mood will naturally relax. The second is to learn to adjust the rhythm and combine work and rest. Pay attention to adjusting the rhythm in daily life. Concentrate on your work and study, and have fun. Ensure adequate sleep time and arrange some entertainment and sports activities properly. Be sure to relax, work and rest.
When a person already has a nervous emotional reaction, how should he adjust? In this case, people are used to comforting the parties: "Don't be nervous!" "What's the big deal!" The parties themselves usually tell themselves in this column: "Don't be nervous!" "What's the big deal!" Unfortunately, however, this method is almost impossible. In fact, it will make people feel even more uneasy. Because this is your own hard time, which makes you more nervous. As the saying goes, "love is like a tide, and the more it is blocked, the higher it is."
When the nervous emotional reaction has appeared, the effective adjustment methods should be: First, face and accept your own nervousness. You should think that your nervousness is normal, and many people may be more nervous than you in some cases. Don't fight against this uneasy emotion, but experience it and accept it. Train yourself to observe your fears as an outsider, and be careful not to fall into fear. Don't let this emotion completely control you: "If I feel nervous, then I am really nervous, but I can't do nothing because I am nervous." At this moment, you can even choose to talk to your nervous psychology, ask yourself why you are so nervous, and what the worst result may be, so that you can face up to and accept this nervous mood, deal with it calmly, and do your own thing in an orderly way.
Second, do some relaxing activities. The specific methods are as follows: ① Choose a place with fresh air, quiet surroundings, soft light, no interference and free movement, and stand, sit or lie in a comfortable posture. ② Exercise some key joints and muscles of the body. When doing it, the speed should be even and slow, and the action does not need to have a certain format. As long as you feel the joints relax and the muscles relax. Take a deep breath, inhale slowly and exhale slowly, and say "relax" in your mind every time you exhale. (4) Pay attention to some daily items. For example, look at a flower, a candle or anything soft and beautiful, and observe its nuances carefully. Light some spices and gently suck its fragrance. Close your eyes and try to imagine some quiet and beautiful scenery, such as blue sea water, golden beach, white clouds, high mountains and flowing water. 6. Do some favorite activities that have nothing to do with the current specific matters. For example, swimming, taking a hot bath, shopping, listening to music and watching TV.
The so-called fear is a strong and depressed emotional state that individuals or groups deeply feel in real or imagined dangers. Its performance is: nervous, full of fear, unable to concentrate, blank mind, unable to correctly judge or control their own behavior, impulsive.
Eliminate fear
Due to lack of exercise in social occasions, young people are new here. When they are in contact with strange people and things, in full view, especially when they need to answer questions or make technical demonstrations, they will appear abnormal phenomena such as blushing, heartbeat, incoherent speech and stiff movements due to excessive tension. Usually he talks a lot, but on formal occasions, he is very nervous and speechless. Some people suffer from insomnia before the exam, feel dizzy after entering the examination room, some people have stage fright in major competitions, and some people are nervous at the first technical exhibition.
The emergence of fear is related to past psychological feelings and personal experiences.
As the saying goes, "once bitten, twice shy." Some people have been stimulated in the past, forming an exciting point in their brains. When they encounter the same situation again, their past experiences are aroused and they will have a sense of fear. Fear is also related to people's personality. Most people are shy and timid from childhood and unsociable when they grow up. Lonely and introverted people are prone to fear.
How do we overcome fear? Mainly by improving the cognitive ability of things, expanding the cognitive horizon and judging the source of fear. Understanding some laws of the objective world, understanding the relationship between people's own needs and objective laws, establishing correct goal judgment, improving foresight and making full mental preparations for possible changes will enhance psychological endurance. Secondly, we should cultivate optimistic interest in life and strong will, and inspire our courage with the brave and tenacious spirit of heroes by learning from their deeds. In normal life, consciously temper yourself in a difficult environment and cultivate a brave and tenacious style. In this way, even if you are really in a dangerous situation, you will not panic for a while, but will be calm and resourceful. In addition, I usually take an active part in strengthening psychological training to improve various psychological qualities. For example, you can set up various possible situations for yourself, carry out targeted psychological training, and form an expected psychological preparation state for dangerous situations. In this way, you can effectively overcome negative emotions such as tension and anxiety, improve your psychological adaptation and balance ability, enhance your confidence and courage, and overcome your fears with a fearless spirit.
In addition, fear can be overcome through self-regulation and self-training, and the specific methods are as follows:
Step 1: List all kinds of scenes that can make you nervous (the more specific the better, the more details), copy them to different cards, put the scenes that will not scare you the least at the front, put the scenes that scare you the most at the back, and arrange the cards in order.
Step 2: Do relaxation training. The method is to sit in a comfortable seat and take deep breaths regularly to relax the whole body. After relaxing, take out the first card in the above series and imagine the above scene. The more vivid you imagine, the better the image.
Step 3: If you feel a little uneasy, nervous and scared, stop imagining, take a deep breath and let yourself relax again. After completely relaxing, re-imagine the scene of failure just now. If anxiety and tension happen again, stop and relax, and so on, until the scene on the card doesn't make you uneasy and nervous anymore.
Step 4: Go on to the next scene (the next card) and make you more afraid in the same way. Note that every time you enter the imagination of the next card, you should take it as the standard that you no longer feel uneasy and nervous when you imagine the last card, otherwise you may not be able to enter the next stage.
Step 5: When you imagine the scene that scares you the most and you don't feel blushing, you can exercise on the spot in the order from light to heavy. If you feel uneasy and nervous at the scene, you can also take a deep breath and relax to fight it until you are no longer afraid and nervous.
What if you are upset?
I often hear some young friends say "I'm bored". A few years ago, there was a T-shirt in the market, which said "Don't bother me, I'm bored". Although some people don't talk about it, they believe that everyone has had an upset experience in life. In this irritable state of mind, they are at a loss and distressing.
Boredom is a popular saying. In psychological terms, it is closer to "anxiety". There are two kinds of people's anxiety. One is temperament and personal temperament. People are introverted, depressed and always anxious. The other is reactive, which is induced by some events, such as marriage failure, frustration in further education, frustration in work, accidents and so on. Of course, it is also possible that some comrades can't find the reason at once, just feel inexplicably agitated, so this situation may be related to the following factors:
The first is physical factors, which can be caused by excessive fatigue, premenstrual period, menopause and other reasons; The second possibility is that there is no goal or the goal is unclear. If a person does nothing all day, he will be inexplicably upset: "What am I doing?" "What's the point of living like this?" The third possibility is the lack of action to guide the target. Maybe you have a goal, but due to various reasons and difficulties, you lack the action to achieve it step by step. "Why can't I reach my goal?" Feelings of incompetence and guilt may bother you and upset you. The fourth possible reason is the early experience. Childhood misfortunes and pains are suppressed to the subconscious, but they have a negative impact on your current behavior, so you will often be upset, but without rhyme or reason.
How to calm down in the upset, we should start from the following aspects:
First, study the situation and find out the reasons. Boredom is a popular saying. In psychological terms, it is closer to "anxiety". There are two kinds of people's anxiety. One is temperament and personal temperament. People are introverted, depressed and always anxious. The other is reactive, which is induced by some events, such as marriage failure, frustration in further education, frustration in work, accidents and so on. Of course, it is also possible that some comrades can't find the reason at once, just feel inexplicably agitated, so this situation may be related to the following factors:
The first is physical factors, which can be caused by excessive fatigue, premenstrual period, menopause and other reasons; The second possibility is that there is no goal or the goal is unclear. If a person does nothing all day, he will be inexplicably upset: "What am I doing?" "What's the point of living like this?" The third possibility is the lack of action to guide the target. Maybe you have a goal, but due to various reasons and difficulties, you lack the action to achieve it step by step. "Why can't I reach my goal?" Feelings of incompetence and guilt may bother you and upset you. The fourth possible reason is the early experience. Childhood misfortunes and pains are suppressed to the subconscious, but they have a negative impact on your current behavior, so you will often be upset, but without rhyme or reason.
Second, according to the actual situation, prescribe the right medicine. That is, to formulate specific measures. On the basis of finding out the reasons, it is not difficult to get a solution. If you are exhausted, you should rest immediately and adjust your strength and energy. The interference caused by psychological factors should be alleviated through appropriate performance and reasonable persuasion. Emotions and sorrows are human nature and need to be properly expressed. The intensity should not be too large and the time should not be too long. Don't suppress your emotional reaction, so as to get rid of it and channel your emotions to a suitable state.
For example, if a relative dies, you should have a good cry and use tears to relieve your sadness, but you can't cry endlessly. In this sense, crying is also a way to adjust emotions. If you are upset because of setbacks or grievances, you might as well tell your relatives and friends, or vent your deep gratitude to balance your mentality and calm your mind.
In short, no matter what causes the upset, we all need to use self-awareness to adjust, correctly understand and actively control. Of course, it is best to ask a doctor for help in a psychological clinic and use psychotherapy.