0 1 Have a strong desire to talk.
Love should be a good medicine to make life sweet and happy, but many people feel physically and mentally exhausted in love, and there are always more girls who feel this way. "
I know, but although many girls are parties, they are still puzzled: they love him very much and don't want to be separated from him. Why do they feel tired?
Is "tiredness" in love really related to true love? The answer is not necessarily.
The factors that affect the love experience are actually personal personality and mode of getting along.
First, the source of "tired":
First of all, let's analyze what the "tiredness" in love comes from:
① The negative pressure is large.
② The positive offset is small.
Generally speaking, the reason why you feel tired is because the negative impact of two people is greater than the positive impact, and the sense of anxiety is greater than the sense of security.
Why do you feel anxious?
Second, negative pressure: Why do you feel anxious?
1, inexperienced, takes love too seriously.
Many girls adhere to the concept of "love first". The more serious it is, the easier it is to get hurt.
In other words, it's better to say that she is inexperienced and has arranged too much love in her life.
The more you look at something, the more likely it is to hurt you.
2. Weak psychological endurance.
Psychological endurance is not an illusory definition. People of different personalities and ages are definitely qualitatively different.
Girls in their teens and twenties have just grown up. They have just made great efforts to come out under the careful care of their family and friends, and may have gone through a difficult process from a dull campus to a chaotic society.
In this process, stable emotions and strong psychological endurance are by no means achieved overnight.
Feel unsafe
3. Pessimistic and fragile personality.
Some people regard the same problem as a challenge, while others regard it as a disaster.
Emotionally, the process of running-in between the two sides is not good enough. Some people can persist because she regards running-in as a process and harmony as an ending:
But some people give up halfway, because any problems in the running-in period are like mountains, which makes her mistakenly think that this is the end.
4. No sense of security.
Insecurity can be said to be a major factor in the source of anxiety, and these two emotional cancers are in a vicious circle.
Insecurity, almost all little girls in love can't escape.
Because compared with the rationality of boys, girls' emotionalization will bring them many real pain points-the kind that an outsider can't understand.
04 sensitive and suspicious
5. Pay too much attention to details and despise the big.
Boys and girls travel: girls will plan their trips carefully and reasonably; Boys usually don't have to deliberately plan the details, as long as they frame a general place in their minds to ensure that they won't get lost and make mistakes, and everything will be fine.
In fact, this is a typical difference in thinking between men and women. Because in this mode, girls are destined to think more and do more, and at the same time, compared with boys' free and easy rules, it is difficult to make people psychologically balanced.
6. Sensitive and suspicious.
There is a proverb in China: Once bitten, twice shy. Well rope is lifeless, but because you regard it as an attacking snake, it will naturally be tiring to deal with it nervously every day.
7. Misunderstanding of love.
Many girls' attitudes towards love are too idealistic and standardized, and they take "good and bad, right and wrong" too absolutely. In this way, the other party's behavior is slightly biased, and girls will feel the gap.
Why is there more pain and less joy in the process?
Third, positive offset: why do both sides suffer more and enjoy less in the process of getting along?
1, incompatible personality.
The common factor that causes the two sides to love each other and kill each other is "personality disagreement", and there are great differences in life, so it is difficult to find a way out for hobbies.
In the early days of love, there was freshness and hormonal support, but after entering the running-in period, the passion gradually faded, and all kinds of inappropriateness became the thorn in the side.
But because of dependence, habit and reluctance, we can only torture each other.
2. The desire to overcompensate.
Anyone who has a little experience in love will find that girls who lack love as children rarely pass five passes and six generals when they play in love as adults to maintain the balance and stability of love; On the contrary, the more loveless a girl is, the easier it is to push an instinctive healthy relationship to the abyss.
Because they are eager for each other's love to make up for the emptiness in their hearts, they can only keep asking for it. Torture yourself with all your strength.
06 practical problems
3, do not know how to create romance.
"Romance" is an essential preservative in love, but only a few boys understand this truth, or even if they do, they rarely implement it. Because he thinks they have been bored together for a long time, and they are old couples, so they are too lazy to surprise each other.
4. Busy with yourself and busy with love.
Big data shows that the former is usually male and the latter is mostly female. For boys, love is really important, but there is definitely a breakthrough that will not bring too many emotions in love into life.
For girls, love and life are inseparable. They always give and invest uncontrollably, and many people fight for love.
5. Practical problems.
One of the factors leading to fatigue is that there are too many obstacles.
If all the friends and relatives around you are against this relationship, once there is a contradiction between the two, the severity will multiply and you will continue to fall into self-doubt.
Love too much and lose yourself.
6. Love too much and lose yourself.
People often feel "tired" because they can't dominate themselves. Unable to control their emotions and behaviors, they often separate themselves. The same is true of love.
The more you love, the more you can't control your emotions, and the easier it is to be hurt by the subtle details of the other party.
Reason tells you to escape, but family ties can't be erased, and they will still gather around each other.
7. This gap is unacceptable.
To put it bluntly, you are good at grading and grading each other's behavior. The reason for doing this is not willfulness, but that you can meet this standard yourself, so it is regarded as "human nature".
But he keeps letting you down, and the alarm in your heart keeps ringing: "Don't you even know the most basic common sense?" "If he doesn't, I want to love me so much." Resentment becomes a disease, and anxiety comes from it.