Optimize the family environment
1, the role of parents as role models
Some people say: family is the first class in life, and parents are the first teachers in life. Others say: family is the flag of children, and parents are the mirror of children. In short, parents are the people who have the earliest and deepest influence on children, and they are the earliest and most imitated images of children. Everything parents say and do has a subtle influence on their children.
Children grow up in the arms of their parents from birth. Parents not only give their children the inheritance of physiological genetic advantages, but also shape their character. From children in the early days of chaos to adults who learn to see the world with their own eyes, this growth process is inseparable from parents' words and deeds. Parents must start from daily life in order to educate their children well.
A friend once told me a conversation with his son as a joke. The friend said, "Son, you are always playing video games these days. Can't you control yourself and concentrate on your studies?" The son replied, "You still say me. Grandpa often tells you not to play mahjong outside. Why do you always play all night? " The friend was speechless at once. It can be seen that children often compare their behaviors with their parents, and even some improper behaviors of parents often become "excuses" for some children to excuse their mistakes. In daily life, parents should pay great attention to their words and deeds, often remind each other, communicate with each other, and strive to establish a good image, which will have a positive impact on children's health and a beneficial impact on children in small matters. For example, parents should be dedicated and self-motivated at work; Treat people warmly, generously and sincerely; We should treat each other equally and match our words with our deeds. In addition, parents should pay attention to put an end to all kinds of "inappropriate" behaviors in front of their children. For example, don't talk too much about money in front of children to avoid some negative effects.
Some people say that children are the refracting mirrors of their parents. Children can embody their parents' philosophy of life and principles of dealing with others. Indeed, it is difficult for selfish parents to cultivate dedicated children, and it is also difficult for narrow-minded parents to cultivate generous children. Parents' demonstration of their children should be reflected in every place and point in daily life.
Tolstoy famously said, "All education, or 99.9% education, is attributed to example, and to parents' own correction and perfection. "This is to educate people first and then educate themselves. Every parent should keep this in mind, which plays a vital role in the improvement of children's personality.
2. Education should start with the transformation of mother.
From ancient times to the present, the education of mothers in our society is more important than that of fathers. It is believed that mothers are responsible for "nurturing" and fathers are responsible for "teaching". Judging from the Three Character Classics, it is enough to show that "the father did not teach".
All people were born by their mothers and grew up under their care. So the fate of mankind is in the hands of the mother. The great educator Froebel once said, "The fate of the people is in the hands of their mothers rather than those in power. Therefore, we must try our best to inspire our mothers, human educators. "
An optimistic mother has a positive and beautiful influence on her children, while a depressed mother has a negative influence on her children.
What is certain is that every successful child has a perfect education from an excellent mother. Mother's education cannot be replaced by any education. If we neglect our mother's education, all our education will become rootless.
Therefore, mothers should take their fate into their own hands, strive for self-improvement and improve their quality in an all-round way. Even if they can't achieve impressive results in their careers, a positive attitude towards life itself is an education and encouragement for children.
Wuhan Women's Federation and news organizations made a special survey to select unpopular mothers. The following are the children's evaluation results:
Mother who loves playing mahjong; A sloppy mother; A quarrelsome and beating mother; The sick mother of the child is not at home; A nagging mother who cares about everything; A mother who can't cook; A penniless mother; An ignorant mother; Don't ask right and wrong, blame the mother; Mother who said the wrong thing in front of the teacher; A mother who often stares at her children; A mother who doesn't care about the world; A mother who sow discord between relatives; A mother who smokes and drinks; A mother who has a lover outside; A mother who is unfilial to her grandparents.
3. Treat children's centrifugal tendency correctly.
As children enter adolescence, as their physiology gradually matures, their horizons gradually broaden, their sense of autonomy gradually forms, and their sense of obedience in childhood no longer exists. At this time, children begin to form their own cognition of life and society, and the value of "self" in the world outlook is born, which often collides with parents' subjective assumptions and traditional tutoring. If parents don't pay attention to the formation of their children's independent personality and the new changes in their children's transition to adulthood, and still ask them according to their childhood habits, the children will be very uncomfortable and even have a strong rebellious mentality.
Parents must fully understand their children's "sense of distance" and "centrifugal" tendencies, and actively "coordinate" and guide them correctly.