Song: What are you doing? You are in a hurry. What are you running for?
Zhao: Hurry up and announce that you will be an Olympic torchbearer soon. Hurry up!
Song: What does it have to do with you? Put the chair down quickly, and I'll have a rest right away. You said you were in a hurry and didn't want to take you out.
Zhao: What are you doing?
Song: What are you talking about? Reach for water with your left hand, shut up with your right hand, rub your legs with your left foot and kiss with your right foot. Remember, you're not an idiot?
Zhao: I have been practicing for half my life. Don't worry.
Song: What do you practice? Hey hey,
Zhao: What are you doing? Not good in public. What are you kissing?
Song: Look which foot it is!
Zhao: Oh. Honey, go to the scene later. There are many reporters, don't cross this foot, save me some face.
Song: Cherish the opportunity. After running the Olympic torchbearer, you can't touch this leg again.
Zhao: What's the matter? Why did it run away from this leg?
Song: What kind of legs are these?
Zhao: My legs are cold.
Song: No, it's not an ordinary leg. It's the leg of an Olympic torchbearer.
Zhao: Ham, I won't be hungry if I mix with my wife in my life. I'll rub your stomach later,
Song: What are you doing?
Zhao: Another plate of ham sausage.
Song: When you say this, the quality will fall into your mouth and you won't get out.
Zhao: What do you have? Slow down.
Song: What's slow? You should hurry.
Zhao: You have to hurry, too. You are only 40 meters short, still short of 160.
Song: Shut up! No one knows this. What are you talking about? The Olympic Games will last for more than a month. Don't tell me what you can practice.
Zhao: Look, someone is coming.
Liu: Oh, my uncle and aunt are here. Let's go to the meeting at once.
Song: And you are?
Liu: I am the host today.
Song: I am Baiyun.
Liu: I know, I know auntie.
Song: This is my assistant, Xiaohei.
Liu: Uncle, I'm telling you, our activities have changed a little today.
Zhao: What changes?
Liu: Now, through the internet, the voice of this netizen asking you to be a torchbearer is too high. Now your online support rate has surpassed your aunt's.
Song: Hurry up! Why are you grinding your feet? Don't keep people waiting. My wrist is quite big. It is not appropriate to be late. You said you were a man.
Zhao: Then please inform her quickly. She had been advertising in the newspaper for half a year when she came.
Liu: Come on, come on, come in.
Song: Find your own seat! Thirst,
Zhao: Stop drinking. Didn't you just drink?
Song: What? There is an uprising!
Zhao: No, there has been a change. Listen.
Liu: All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's be quiet. Now I declare that the selection ceremony of farmers torchbearers in northern Liaoning for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games begins!
Zhao: Good!
Song: You said you were surprised. You're scary.
Liu: We just made a survey on the Internet, and finally found that netizens have a very high voice for uncle as a torchbearer, and now his support rate has surpassed that of Aunt Baiyun.
Zhao: Public opinion, I can't help it.
Liu: So in the end, our organizing committee decided to let netizens ask questions today and let the two old people answer them on the spot. Finally, according to the online support rate, who is the torchbearer of farmers in northern Liaoning today is decided. Now that the netizen's question has come out, first of all, let's briefly investigate two candidates for Olympic torchbearers. Netizen question: We torchbearers need to run a long distance to pass the Olympic flame. Both old people are over 80 years old. How far can you run? Tell the truth!
Zhao: Erlidi.
Liu: Erlidi,
Zhao: It's no trouble.
Liu: That's one kilometer! Where's auntie?
Zhao: It's you! Seek truth from facts! Tell the truth!
Song: I think this problem should not be a problem. Because this is something that can be exercised. No one is born to run, thank you.
Zhao: Then you didn't say how many meters you ran.
Liu: OK, please listen to the second question. The next question is also a must. What sports do parents like?
Song: Swimming!
Liu: Oh, my aunt likes swimming.
Zhao: Forget it. Let's swim for three days. I asked him why he didn't swim. He said the water in the swimming pool is not good!
Liu: What about uncle?
Zhao: I like diving.
Liu: Uncle can snorkel. How long can he usually snorkel?
Song: That depends on what the lifeguard fished for him the other day. A second later, he dived for a second, and a year later, he was appointed to float there!
Liu: Listen to the questions and then answer a set of questions. Listen, what sports are annoying?
Song: Football!
Liu: What sports are more worrying?
Song: China Football!
Liu: Please ask the two old people to continue listening. The Olympic Games is an international competition. Our torchbearers had better know a little foreign languages. How do you say tea in English?
Song: Tea!
Liu: Green tea?
Zhao: Green tea.
Song: How about black tea?
Zhao: Black tea.
Song: What about scented tea?
Zhao: scented tea.
Song: I kick you.
Zhao: All tea.
Liu: Now some netizens ask, Who is the father of modern Olympics?
Song: I don't know anything. Why do you want to stand up?
Zhao: I'm afraid you will rob me.
Song: Coubertin!
Liu: Correct! Next question, who runs fastest in history?
Song: Cao Cao! Speak of the devil and run faster than anyone else.
Zhao: Forget it, then Cao Cao is not an athlete!
Liu: Is that right?
Song: People didn't say it had to be an athlete. People say who runs fastest in history, and there are historical figures!
Zhao: Then the Monkey King can run faster! There is something wrong with your question.
Liu: Then we have to cancel this question!
Liu: Next question, which sports start and end with Gong Wei, and which ones are dangerous?
Zhao: Play monkey!
Song: Playing with monkeys is not sports, but literature and art. ..
Zhao: I don't care about style. It's dangerous to play with monkeys, and it's hard for them to scratch him.
Song: Xiao Liu, I refuse a monkey trick PK! The quality is too low!
Liu: That won't do. Everyone has the right to speak!
Zhao: Did you hear that? I also have a say.
Liu: Listen to the next one. A netizen named Qi just gave birth to a baby. Let you two give his child a nice name at the scene!
Zhao: Zydron!
Liu: Elegant but unobtrusive.
Song: Qi Dongqiang!
Liu: Loud but not elegant.
Zhao: Qi Delong is choking! Western style!
Song: I'll give you a whole drum, and you knock!
Liu: Oh, uncle and aunt's answers are really interesting and humorous!
Liu: The next question is the basic knowledge question. What words are you reciting one by one?
Zhao: Light!
Liu: Is it made of wood?
Song: Bed!
Liu: Add another piece of wood!
Zhao: Double bed!
Song: How about adding three pieces of wood?
Z: Triple room.
Song: What about the ten pieces of wood?
Zhao: Ten pieces of wood, and then read Kang. Twenty, and then a big car shop.
Song: Why are you so uneducated?
Zhao: It can be supplemented!
Liu: Hey? That's a good question This is a question given to us by netizens. Let the host do a set of actions on the spot and let the parents judge what this action is. (Doing Tai Chi) What action?
Zhao: Play mahjong!
Song: What! Why are you uneducated here? This is clearly Tai Chi!
Zhao: He was obviously playing mahjong just now. You see, this doesn't shuffle cards, code cards, draw cards, watch cards, draw cards, watch cards, draw cards.
Liu: Oh, uncle and aunt's answers are really interesting and humorous! Then our first link is over. Well, the current internet support rate shows that Aunt's votes have now surpassed Uncle's.
Song: Look at my popularity.
Zhao: You are obviously irritating. And then I answered a lot.
Liu: Yes, there are many answers. The second link is like this. Please tell torchbearer candidates about their love affair with the Olympic flame and try to win votes for themselves.
Song: Sit down, it's none of your business! Xiao Liu, I'm leaving first.
Liu: Ah, Auntie goes first.
Song: Thanks to Tieling TV Station, Liaoning TV Station and possibly CCTV in the future. Today, on this special occasion, I want to reveal a secret that has been hidden for many years. I am a premature baby. I have been playing with fire since I was three or four years old, which once caused a huge fire at home. I accidentally fell into the brazier at the age of six or seven, and there were marks on my ass; When I was a teenager, I got on the train and came to Huojiatun. I was introduced by a cook to a black soil that I burned all my life, and I lived a miserable life from then on. I spent a lot of time thinking about why I came to this world in a hurry and why I had an indissoluble bond with fire. Today, I finally understand that I was born for the Olympic torchbearers.
Liu: Thank you, Auntie! thank you
Song: Sorry, I'm not finished yet. Last night, my mother told me,
Zhao: Hey hey, your mother has been dead for more than 30 years!
Song: Sweet dreams! Don't!
Zhao: Oh, thank you.
Song: My mother told me, Xiao Yun, the Olympic torchbearer must be you! Because you were born by the fire!
Zhao: Why didn't your mother say you came by rocket?
Song: My mother also said that if anyone dares to compete with you for the position of torchbearer, your father and I will take him away! Thank you, my mother.
Liu: Now this competition has reached a white-hot stage. Let's say something next
Zhao: It's a dead hand. I don't argue. I will give this opportunity to my wife.
Song: Give it up!
Zhao: Ah, this is my wife's seat. I just went there to clean up and do some work.
Song: Yes, she is more suitable for cleaning.
Liu: Uncle abstained?
Zhao: If you don't quit, you will die!
Liu: OK, let's look at the online support rate. The result has been achieved, my friends. I declare that the torchbearer of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games is a farmer from northern Liaoning ... black soil!
Zhao: Wife, why do you want to go home?
Song: I am a monk! I can't take it anymore. I don't want to play like this. You've promoted me for six months. How can I tell Lao Li that I accepted this gift?
Zhao: I can't be angry! Don't cry, listen to my wife, it's all up to the people. We are a family, and anyone who doesn't live up to expectations will be honored.
Song: But I can't stand it. What can I do if you are angry? Now you can't bully me like I bully you!
Zhao: I can't be my wife. No matter what I am, I am your wife.
Song: Do you still care about me?
Zhao: I care about you.
Song: Am I vague?
Zhao: Vague you.
Song: Are you willing to help me?
Zhao: At your service.
Song: Are you still afraid of me?
Zhao: I'm not only afraid of you, but also afraid of your mother now!
Song: Is my order still valid?
Zhao: Give it a try.
Zhao: Drink water, shut up, rub your legs and kiss the old ghost!
Zhao: You should be happy for me to be a torchbearer! What a wonderful thing, isn't it? I can't live if you don't bully me all my life.
Liu: Dear friends, now let's invite Uncle Black Soil to give his acceptance speech.
Song: I made you sad. You don't think so, you go.
Zhao: I went.
Liu: Please!
Zhao: Good! Thanks for TV, thanks for all TV, thanks for MTV, thanks for broadcasting … OK! Today, here ... there are magnificent people everywhere ... the seas run dry and the rocks crumble ... I ... never dreamed that I would become a torchbearer. In fact, I am not the fire of life, I am parallel ... I am water life. Here … I thank my wife …
Song: Here it is!
Zhao: Without my wife ... I wouldn't be here today ... because I practice with her, I practice with her ... My wife ... As the saying goes, a successful man ... has a troublesome woman on his back ... and a woman must take care of me ... I am here ... Today, I thank the government for giving me a chance to start over. ...
Liu: That's not true. Absolutely not.
Zhao: If you can give me a chance to be a torchbearer … I must be honest … be honest and do things honestly … I …
Liu: OK, thank you, uncle. Thank you!
Zhao: Sorry, it's not over yet. Olympic Games … Well, here, on behalf of my wife, I would like to pay a New Year's greetings to the brothers and sisters affected by the disaster in the south … You should have a happy New Year … everything will pass, and the government is our backstage. What are you afraid of? All right! (Shouting and applauding) After the Chinese New Year, my wife and I will visit you and donate money to you.
Song: Donate!
Zhao: Can I decide?
Song: How much did you donate?
Zhao: I will donate as much as I have.
Song: Don't donate it all. We have no money.
Zhao: Good for 2008 … Good for Beijing … Good for me … Host … It's over.
Liu: Uncle, this is a souvenir of our activity.
Zhao: Great 2008, Centennial Olympics, we are all 80! Caught up! (Shouting)
Liu: Let's clap for my uncle and aunt again!