1, say it
Don't expect your partner to read your mind or "figure it out".
If you have a need or want to express something, you need to communicate it yourself. It's unfair to you or your partner if you don't communicate your needs. Similarly, don't cling to things that bother you. If something bothers you, tell your partner something.
If you don't know how to start a conversation, you can say, "I'm thinking about something, and I hope you can listen." You can also say, "something bothers me. I think we should talk about it."
Step 2 listen attentively
A healthy relationship is knowing when to say and when to listen. Don't interrupt the other person, let him/her finish his/her thoughts and feelings, which can cultivate your listening ability. Listen carefully and don't try to respond when your partner is talking.
Use active listening skills to reflect each other's content and feelings. Say, "Let me make sure I understand." I heard you say that you were unhappy that I didn't tell you when I would go home. You want me to say it earlier because you are worried. "
Step 3 respect each other
Boundaries don't mean that you feel bound; They are created to maintain respect and understanding of expectations in relationships. If something makes you uncomfortable, bring it up and discuss how it needs to be changed and how each of you will do it. If one party wants to spend a lot of time together, but the other party doesn't, it is very important to set a time limit to determine whether it is appropriate for two people to spend time together and apart.
For example, you may want to establish sexual boundaries (sexual exclusivity) and social boundaries (one night a week for friends or activities). Don't let your partner control you and don't try to control your partner. Setting boundaries means respecting each other, looking for compromises and making the relationship work better.
Step 4 communicate clearly
Without clear communication, a relationship will soon reveal the worst side of people.
When you want or need something, express it clearly to your partner. Don't beat around the bush or say something you think will make your partner happy, which will make you unhappy.
Try to use me to express your feelings, make an observation, or share your opinions. Statements allow you to express yourself clearly and directly, be responsible for your thoughts and feelings, and avoid blaming others. In order to communicate correctly, you can use words like "When ... I think/I think/I think it's because ...". For example, when you leave the door open, I feel uneasy because the room becomes cold and airy.
5. Expressed emotions
Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and keep an open mind about your subsequent feelings. Care about your partner's feelings and support them under pressure. Emotional communication can make you empathize with their experiences. If you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner, start asking about your feelings (don't blame or assume). By discovering your partner's feelings, you may begin to feel more sympathy for them.
Step 6 reflect on each other.
Take time out regularly to discuss your relationship. Don't try to avoid the problem. If you have any questions, just ask them directly and tell them that there is nothing that can't be solved. Ask your partner if you have the same expectations for relationships. You can talk about cohabitation, sexual satisfaction, marriage, children, or planning to live together. Find out what you want and how your partner can meet your needs.
1, establish the basis of respect
The initial relationship may be interesting and exciting, but it is important to ensure that you and your partner respect each other.
Whenever and wherever, try to respect each other, even if you are angry with each other. Your partner's wishes, thoughts and feelings are all valuable. Communicate with your partner and you will consider their feelings. Mutual respect is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship. Talk to your partner about how to build respect in your relationship. Even if there is a fierce quarrel with the other party, you should calmly decide what to do and what not to do, such as
Don't use degrading language, don't blame, don't shout, don't use force, and don't talk about divorce or breakup.
Step 2 appreciate each other
A healthy relationship should make you and your partner feel appreciated.
Usually, interpersonal relationships are made up of many small things. Know what your partner has done for you, and then say thank you. Don't pay attention to your partner's mistakes, pay attention to your partner's influence on your life. When you notice something, say it and express your gratitude. Ask your partner how they feel appreciated. Write a note or card, or try to say thank you often. Let your partner know how much you want to be appreciated. Tell me, it means a lot to me when you notice what I have done for you.
Step 3 have a good time
* * * Having fun helps to consolidate relationships and enhance feelings. Find some activities that you can often do together. It can be as simple as having a cup of coffee and reading together every morning or evening. Try something new together, it will be an interesting and exciting way to get along. You don't have to do anything crazy, even going to a new restaurant or trying a new cooking method will be an interesting experience.
4. Give each other some privacy.
No one can do everything and play all the roles for another person. Let your partner spend time with friends and family and do some hobbies. It's very important for everyone to have their own friends and their favorite activities. At the beginning of the relationship, you may want to stay together all the time, but you should respect each other enough and be apart for a while, knowing that the time apart will not have any negative impact on the relationship. Support your partner to maintain friendship. Don't give up on your friends, and don't force your partner to give up on friends. Friends and their emotional support are very important. Similarly, don't let your partner decide whether you can see your family or not.
The only constant in this world is change itself.
You know, your relationship may change, allowing yourself, your partner and the relationship itself to grow. Recognize that the change in your relationship is a new growth opportunity. Change is inevitable, so welcome it and adapt actively. When changes occur, take a deep breath and deal with them one by one.
1, avoid being emotional. If one of you can't communicate effectively, such as shouting, blaming, complaining, etc. You can accompany her/him to see a psychiatrist. Seeing a psychiatrist does not mean that your relationship is doomed to failure, but that you are willing to work together to improve.
Step 2 give up interdependence
Everyone is an independent individual. If you find that one of them is highly dependent, you should raise it in time and tell him/her the importance of independence. Dependence is an immature performance, and in the long run, it will become addictive.
3. Respect your partner's privacy
Being in love doesn't mean being together all the time, nor does it mean sharing everything. Respect each other's needs for privacy and space. If jealousy appears, remind yourself that jealousy is something you feel and may not be directly related to your partner's behavior.
Don't ask your partner for the password of your social media account or email address. Respect your partner's privacy and be willing to trust your partner.
It is unhealthy for you or your partner to constantly monitor each other's behavior. This may be due to jealousy or control.
4. Pay attention to the warning signals of abuse.
Relationships should be based on respect and equality, not power and control. Although you may not care about some behaviors at first, disrespectful behaviors will set the tone for your relationship. If your partner is possessive, insulting, yelling, humiliating or disrespectful, please note that there is no excuse for abuse. Abuse is a person's choice, and you don't have to be a victim.