Psychologists say that belonging is not dependence. If a child must have a warm and stable love relationship, he must learn to be alone, such as leaving himself in a safe room. Children don't necessarily need their parents to be around all the time to get a sense of belonging. Even if they can't see you, they will know that you are in their hearts. Experts suggest that adults need to "respond" to children's various needs rather than "achieve" everything. To realize children's relaxation, it is necessary to establish some boundaries artificially, and it is impossible to meet children's needs unconditionally. "Another prerequisite for happiness is that children can withstand the inevitable setbacks and cold in daily life."
Dr. Thomas, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, warned us, "Only when a child understands that it is not his impulse but his ability to get something, will he get full happiness in his heart." The sooner children understand this truth, the less harm they will do. Don't always get what you want the first time. The best way is to postpone. For example, if the child is hungry, you can wait for a few minutes. You don't have to compromise all the rules of children. Rejecting some rules for children will be more conducive to his spiritual peace.
Accepting this "unsatisfactory practice" in daily life will give children enough mental ability to face setbacks in future life. Children are cold and violent when they lose their temper. The first way for a child to lose his temper is to distract him and try to let him go to his room to lose his temper. Without an audience, he will gradually calm down. Give appropriate punishment and put it into action. The idea of saying "no": You don't have to say "no" dryly, you have to explain why you can't do it for your children. Even if the child doesn't understand, he can understand your enthusiasm and concern for him; Parents agree, one can't say for sure and the other can't say for sure; Can give him the freedom to do another thing on the premise that one thing is strictly forbidden.
If your child is different from other children, for example, the child is too fat, has ear problems, or is paranoid in temperament and behavior, parents must not deny this objective fact, but actively discuss with him, find a solution, or face the reality. In this respect, it is an effective way to find authoritative experts, because children generally take the words of authoritative experts (such as doctors) seriously. Beijing tong champion education group
Accusing children should be justified. For example, if a child damages his mother's ornaments, it is right to say, "Look, if you play with something over which you have no control, such a bad thing will happen." It is wrong to say, "You are so bad, how can you damage my own ornaments?" You mean not to let your mother wear it! The first sentence tells the child that its inaccuracy depends on his "moving something that should not be moved" and does not deny the child's character. The second sentence is to set a gender for the child, which makes him very depressed and undermines his confidence in being a good child.