Love can leave its own temperament, but also romantic. Facing marriage, we need to be rational people. After all, marriage needs to face many problems, including family, parents, economic problems and children's problems. So when you decide to get married, you need to seriously consider the following questions, and don't be carried away by hormones.
First: economic issues. After marriage, regardless of whether unified management is implemented economically, the consumption concept cultivated by family of origin may bring impact to the new family, especially after the establishment of the new family, the financial support from family of origin is gradually cut off. If the income of both husband and wife is not high, there may be contradictions on how to spend money. Then the following problems will appear, such as:
If I owe money, will you pay it back with me? "
1. Throughout the ages, the problem of "economy" has been lurking between the contradictions between husband and wife. Is it "economic enjoyment" or "economic independence" Many couples have conflicts or even divorce because of economic problems. Then think about it before marriage, and it is best to reach an understanding on "economic issues."
2. How much are you willing to spend on clothes and cars for me? "
Whether the two people's consumption views are consistent or not greatly affects the happy life after marriage. Relevant data show that the closer the couple's consumption concept is, the greater the happiness index is.
Second: family problems. 1. Parents' problems, including old-age care and daily care. After marriage, both parties should focus on the newly established new family, and how to deal with the relationship with family of origin becomes more prominent. When and how often to go home, whether to allow parents to stay at home for the night, whether to raise children with the help of parents, whether to provide financial support to parents, whether parents often come and go, etc., all need to be seriously considered. What is more difficult is that the couple can't make a decision on this, but also consider the views and preferences of both parents;
2. personal family development planning, as well as the joint problems arising from family background. This requires early communication and understanding.
Third: the problem of children. Including men's and women's preferences, childbearing opportunities, parenting styles, and the distribution of parenting responsibilities. On this issue, women often complain about men, but complaining can't solve the problem. Both sides should realize that children are shared by both sides, not just the responsibility of one side. When raising children, the two sides may have different contributions, but they must pay and sacrifice some personal hobbies (playing mobile phones, sweeping goods and playing) if necessary.
Fourth: work problems. After marriage, the future of the other party's job is directly related to the economic strength and stability of the family. No one wants the other person's job to change dramatically after marriage (such as unemployment, large-scale salary reduction, long-term assignment, day and night upside down, etc.). ), so both sides need to make some plans for each other's career development to avoid unilateral job-hopping. For some inevitable emergencies (unemployment), we should be prepared mentally and take preventive measures economically.
Fifth, the problem of living habits.
When two people get along for a long time, there will inevitably be some frictions and contradictions in their personalities. Before you get married, you must think clearly about whether you really need two people to run your relationship from your personality and living habits. After all, it is not a one-man show. No one should apologize and tolerate blindly. Feelings without quarrels are not perfect. Making small noise is to increase our understanding and promotion of each other's ideas. To understand what the other person really wants to express and his own unique expression, the best mature way is for two people to grow up together, calmly and objectively analyze the other person's personality, don't just look at the other person's shortcomings, and remember to move closer to the other person's good side, and then see if there is anything in his personality that needs reflection. Any thoughts and opinions should be communicated with each other in time. Only mutual honesty can make us step by step towards each other, so.
Secondly, the problem of living habits. Everyone has different living habits and patterns, including eating habits and sleeping habits. Different living habits have different rhythms and lifestyles. Take consumption habits as an example. If you are a simple person, who likes to indulge in luxury once in a while on holidays, let's see if your other half can agree with you. After all, life is bittersweet. While working hard, it is very important for you whether the other person is interested in enjoying life with you. If when you want to relax, the other party says you are wasting money and extravagance, I believe this can be solved not only by quarreling, because you feel the other party's incomprehension and sadness and disappointment. It is better to know in advance whether you are teammates on the same channel in your living habits than to argue without fear afterwards.
Sixth: circle of friends. The focus is on the scale of communication with friends of the opposite sex? "
Everyone has their own circle of friends. After marriage, both husband and wife should pay more attention to the scale of communication with friends of the opposite sex. No matter how well they play, they can't cross the line. This is the most basic respect for married life. Ask the other half before marriage, what is the allowable range of ta?
Eighth: What should I do if there are contradictions in my life? For example:
"What should I do if I quarrel?"
When two people have been together for a long time, it is inevitable that they will quarrel over some trivial matters. What shall we do after the quarrel? Is it a cold war or a calm analysis? Whoever bows his head first will admit his mistake first. Always remember that there is no overnight feud between husband and wife. After encountering differences, it is more important to communicate more, consider the problem from the other side's point of view and take care of the other side's emotions than to win or lose a quarrel.
What are my advantages that attract you? What shortcomings are you unable to tolerate? "
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and love at first sight is not enough. Therefore, understanding each other's likes and unacceptable shortcomings can make the marriage go longer and further.
The ninth sex problem.
How important is sex to you? "
A healthy married life should maintain a harmonious sexual life. How important is sex life in marriage?
Tenth: suppose divorce.
"Why did you divorce me?"
Although this problem seems to affect the harmony between two people. But now, the divorce rate is getting higher and higher. After marriage, many people's conflicts intensify, so what will you divorce for? What can be done to save a marriage?
Before you get married, you must think calmly, whether you fully understand each other, whether you are suitable for each other, whether you have stable feelings, and whether you have enough trust. It is not too late to get married again.
Of course, a good marriage needs to be managed with care and maintained with love. We need to relax, understand and respect each other in our marriage. We need a good communication channel. Husband and wife need to help each other and grow together.