It is unheard of that a mother was killed by her underage child. While we hate the child's cruelty and sympathize with the mother's innocence, we should also think about what makes such a small child so cruel.
After knowing the child's family situation, this question also has an answer.
It turned out that the mother went out to work when the child was over half a year old, and the child stayed at home for grandparents to take care of and became a left-behind child. Although the child is born to the mother, the mother is away all the year round, and the mother and son don't meet every day. The children made mistakes in the process of growing up, and the mother did not correct and remind them in time, which made their feelings lack basic running-in.
In daily life, the child has been spoiled by his grandparents and grown up. He understands that the natural definition of the closest person is "grandparents".
Mothers who haven't seen their children for many years certainly love their children when they come home to see them, but for children, this kind of love is mixed with "strangeness." The warm current of love is only a single stream, and there is no response around the child.
Mother always thinks that mother and son are the closest anyway, but in fact, for children, "mother" at this time is just a title. He has no attachment and affection for his mother, and even regards her as an "enemy" because of her desire for control. But at this time, the mother was worried when she saw her deteriorated son (the child learned to smoke at the age of 9 and stole grandpa's 1000 yuan, etc.). ).
The mother's anxiety instantly ignited the child's anger, made the child reach out to her mother, calmly reset the murder scene, and created the illusion of "suicide".
Professor Li Meijin, a famous jurist and psychologist, said that childhood is a critical period for children to grow up in many aspects. If a mother can't raise a child by herself after giving birth, I suggest not having a child!
Generally speaking, children have behavioral or psychological problems, such as truancy, lying, internet addiction, running away from home, frequent suicide and so on. Most of them are between 12 and 18. The behavioral problems and related psychological problems at this age actually stem from the personality cultivation of children in childhood and are directly related to the way parents raise their children.
02, 0-3 years old to build a good sense of security for children Due to the increasing social pressure, many parents give their children to the elderly at home soon after their children are born, go out to work by themselves, and then take over after their children go to school.
Such children are often not short of money in life. Eating snacks, playing games, getting into bad habits and not loving learning are their normal performances. Grandparents think that children can't see their parents all the year round, and feel that children are very pitiful. They often give them as much money as they want and use money to satisfy their material desires and spiritual happiness.
However, when the parents "took over", they found that the children not only did not get close to themselves, but became rebellious, uncontrollable and full of hatred for themselves, which made the parents feel puzzled and panicked and began to look for reasons. The emergence of this situation actually lies in the absence of parents during the formation of children's attachment.
Psychologists have done an interesting experiment:
Put a newborn baby gorilla in a big room. There are two iron shelves in the room. One is bare, without any decoration. Another iron shelf is covered with flannel, dressed as a female orangutan, and there are many things to eat and play on the ground. Then observe whether the little orangutan ate or played, or what happened.
It turned out that when faced with a strange room, the little orangutan screamed a few times in fear, then climbed onto the shelf of the fake female orangutan and hugged the "female orangutan" tightly. Only when he is hungry, he will come down to eat something, then get up quickly and continue to hug the furry female orangutan.
This experiment fully proves one thing, that is, although young animals need food to ensure their basic survival, they also need attachment to caregivers, which far exceeds the attraction of toys.
Psychological research has found that if people are not satisfied with this attachment for a long time in their early life, they will easily feel dissatisfied, resulting in personality disorders such as irritability, sensitivity and nervousness.
Therefore, experts suggest that 0-3 years old is an important period for children to build a sense of security. In the meantime, parents must stay with their children. If the child is not accompanied by his parents at this time, it will lead to the alienation between the child and his parents, and it is irreparable.
It is never the school or society that has the deepest influence on children, but parents. Parents should make appropriate sacrifices for their children. Since they brought him into this world, they should be responsible for him.
Make rules for children before the age of 03 or 6. There is an old saying in China that simply summarizes the general law of children's psychological development. From the psychological characteristics and personality tendency of a 3-year-old child, we can see the embryonic form of his adolescent psychology and personality image, while from a 7-year-old child, we can see his achievements and achievements after middle age. Although this sentence is not absolute, it summarizes the general law of children's psychological development. In other words, from the psychological characteristics and personality tendency of children at the age of three, we can see the embryonic form of their psychological and personality image when they grow up.
I remember the mother of a runaway child once asked, "He was fine when we spoke on the phone yesterday. Why did he run away from home today? "
In fact, parents should learn to make rules for their children together before their children are 6 years old. What can be done and what can't be done must be clearly defined, such as what children want. If he wants to achieve his goal by crying, he must say "no" sternly! Although he will feel short-term pain because of your refusal at this time, he has learned that everything should be realized through correct and peaceful communication.
Before the age of 6, children's consciousness is still in its infancy, which is the best time to educate children to obey the rules. During this time, parents can reduce their doting on their children, make strict rules for their children, and seriously abide by them, and cultivate their children's good habits of obeying rules and being polite from an early age.