We have a group of such children around us. Their parents work outside the home all the year round, but they are forced to stay at home with their grandparents. For these children, parents have become symbols and concepts that only show their faces once or twice a year. They have the same name-"Left-behind Children". The following is "psychological problems of left-behind children", I hope it will help you!
Due to the lack of parents' attention and care in the process of growing up, these children are emotionally rich and fragile, and left-behind children have serious psychological problems. Coexistence of dependence and independence, impulsiveness and rationality, self-consciousness and willfulness will easily lead to the deviation of cognition and value, and the abnormality of personality and psychological development.
The main manifestations of psychological problems of left-behind children
1. Self-enclosed and withdrawn
These children have been separated from their parents for a long time when they were young, and the unstable family environment makes them feel insecure and belong, which brings them a strong sense of loneliness. Because of their lack of emotional dependence and introverted personality, they will appear weak and helpless when they encounter some troubles, and over time they will become unwilling to communicate with others. Long-term reticence, reticence, anxiety and nervousness can easily make these children form withdrawn, inferior and closed psychology. Such children are naturally weaker than other children in interpersonal communication and self-confidence.
2. Emotional out of control, impulsive
Left-behind children are generally under the age of 16, and are in the period of physical and mental development. They are emotionally unstable and weak-willed, which easily leads to emotional out-of-control and impulsiveness. They are also prone to be vigilant and hostile to the people around them. An important manifestation of this hostility is aggression. Some children always feel that others are bullying him and haggle over trifles. They tend to have a strong rebellious attitude towards the discipline and criticism of teachers, guardians, relatives and friends, and often tend to be violent in serious cases.
3. Cognitive bias and inner confusion
A few left-behind children think that their families are poor and their parents are incompetent, so they will go out to work to earn money, which will lead to resentment and extreme thoughts. Some children alienate their parents after returning home, which leads to emotional alienation. It is difficult for them to establish a correct outlook on life and values, and they are at a loss about the future. Most children are not enterprising, and their discipline is lax. Coupled with the lack of family education, their academic performance is generally poor. They gradually play truant and drop out of school, so that they flow to society prematurely.
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"Left-behind children" have some unhealthy psychological problems, such as unsociable, extreme, disunity, destructiveness and hostility, which lead to bad behaviors such as fighting and gangs, lack of moral sense and sense of reason, and some serious people participate in theft and robbery, and finally embark on the road of crime.
In rural areas of China, due to the lack of employment opportunities and low income from farming, many parents will choose to look for job opportunities in cities. In the vast rural areas of China, left-behind children have gradually become a special group. This particularity lies in the lack of parental care and family warmth all the year round, which has caused many psychological problems.
It is precisely because of the widespread psychological problems of left-behind children in rural areas that many children have become problem children. The lack of family education has caused many rural children's mental health crisis. But it has never been taken seriously. Parents often can't solve problems for their children in order to make a living.
The problem of left-behind children in rural areas is mainly manifested in five aspects:
1, poor academic performance
Left-behind children in rural areas perform poorly. On the one hand, there is a shortage of educational resources in rural areas, and high-quality educational resources are concentrated in cities and towns. On the other hand, the left-behind children in rural areas have high labor intensity, and the education level of supervisors is not high, so the education methods for children are inappropriate. Therefore, left-behind children have poor academic performance, and some are tired of learning, playing truant or even flowing into society prematurely. Children whose parents go out to work for a long time are the most difficult to manage and the most troublesome to study. Poor grades are reflected to parents, who can't control them, and grandparents can't control them. If the teacher is too strict, the children will not listen, so their academic performance is generally poor.
2. Lack of parental care
Parents have a great influence on children's growth, and parental care is indispensable for children's growth. For primary and middle school students who are in the period of rapid physical and mental development, there are too many problems in study, life and self-change, and only parents can effectively solve these problems. However, the families of left-behind children can't fully give their children spiritual support and knowledge help, which is not conducive to their healthy growth. Many children even want their parents to stay at home instead of going out to work or staying with their parents. Many left-behind children are very eager for affection and parental care.
3. Psychological problems have increased.
Due to the long-term lack of parental discipline, the first thing left-behind children show in terms of physical and mental health is that they are not bound in behavior. According to the survey, left-behind children have more behavior problems than other students. They don't obey discipline at school, lie, form gangs, bully classmates, steal, smoke and drink, and don't listen to their guardians and school teachers. Secondly, the lack of affection and psychological problems are more serious. Parents go out for a long time, don't understand their children's growth and changes, can't give their children affection and care, and their children's growth psychology is prone to problems. In addition, most left-behind children are supervised by grandparents, and there is a big age gap. There are great obstacles in emotional and ideological communication with their children, resulting in psychological problems such as depression, withdrawn personality, negative pessimism, impulsiveness and irritability, which have a great impact on the formation of their personality and world outlook.
4, easy to get into bad habits
The result of lack of discipline is that children get into bad habits. Left-behind children often behave as late, truant, truant, lying and fighting, bullying classmates, and even mixing with some people with bad habits in society and becoming "problem children". Due to their own reasons and various reasons, most guardians often only care about their children's food and clothing, and there is a serious lack of education in the legal system and safety, which leads to accidents such as drowning and electric shock for left-behind children, and fights and other violations of discipline and law are also on the rise.
The problem of left-behind children in rural areas is mainly caused by the long-term absence of parents. Children's childhood should be full of fun, but children who lack parental care can hardly feel the warmth of family and lack the necessary fun. Therefore, when parents go out to earn money to support their families, they should also find more time to spend with their children to prevent them from having psychological problems.
How to guide children to have bad emotions?
First, parents guide their children's bad emotions in this way.
Parents have a great responsibility and role in guiding their children's emotions and cultivating their healthy and upward character. What exactly should they do?
1. The same principle and accept the baby's negative emotions.
Since emotions are natural, there is no need to force the baby to suppress them. Before asking him to "don't be bad-tempered", you should first find an outlet for the baby's emotions, such as giving him a big hug to calm his emotions, and then try to empathize: "I know you want to continue playing." Or "You pushed him away because you were afraid of being robbed?" Don't call him right away: "Don't cry" and "Don't get angry". Parents can take their children away first instead of rushing things. If the child has emotions, let him calm down first; It is easy for children to calm down when they feel understood. If parents and children are in a hurry, it is easy for them to get into trouble.
2. Encourage your baby to handle conflicts in alternative ways.
When the baby's mood is more balanced, parents can try to explain to him: "That child wants to play as much as you do. Would you like to play with him in turn or together? " Or "you just keep crying and shouting, and mom and dad don't know what you want, okay?" Although the baby is still young and seems to understand, he will never understand unless he says it. If it is a conflict between two babies, and the child's mood fluctuates quickly, it is necessary to empathize with his psychology and position and tell him in neutral words, such as that he took something from others, not to rob it. Also let him understand other people's feelings. And teach him to deal with conflicts in other ways, such as telling the baby: You can tell your brother, can you lend me to play in the future?
3. Teach your baby to express anger in words.
Studies have proved that children with better language development suffer less setbacks, because they know how to express their needs in language, so they are easy to be satisfied; Moreover, when they tell the reasons why they are angry and sad, it will not only help to vent their emotions, but also gain the understanding and comfort of others. From 1 year and a half, the baby speaks more clearly and uses more and more words. With this enthusiasm for learning to speak, parents can teach their babies to express their anger with words instead of body when they are frustrated, angry and sad.
If the baby doesn't know much vocabulary, he can teach some strategies and actions to slow down, such as shaking his head to show refusal or leaving quickly with a toy; However, children over 2 years old should be encouraged to use simple language expressions, such as "mine", "take turns" or "you wait" and "I still want to play", which depends on the baby's language ability. Because the baby's expression and understanding are relatively simple, they can only communicate with each other when they are about 3 years old, and they need help from adults.
Second, provide a positive energy environment and set a good example for the baby.
In addition to scientific guidance, the growing environment has a great influence on the baby. Meet his basic needs, provide him with a safe, trusting and loving environment, let him feel love, and he will feel safe and emotionally stable. Moreover, the baby learned how to face emotions through imitation. Parents are emotional, and babies will be emotional, so parents' own emotional management is also very important. How to give the baby a positive environment and let him learn to manage emotions? Have the following suggestions:
1. Help your baby succeed, not afraid of making mistakes, and build self-confidence.
When the baby wants to do it by himself and it is not perfect, it is easy to feel frustrated. In fact, even if he only wears a pair of pants, he can be praised and help the baby create many opportunities for success. Children are also allowed to make mistakes. Tell them that it doesn't matter if they make mistakes, and they can start over. Mom and dad should know where the baby is capable, encourage him to try, and even if he doesn't succeed, give him the affirmation of trying and trying. Self-confident and self-affirming babies are more tolerant of setbacks.
2. Allow babies to express their feelings
Let the baby cry or get angry, not without such emotions. When he expresses these emotions, he can tell him what is acceptable to others. For example: you can't cry for too long, which is not good for your health; You can hammer a pillow when you are angry, but don't express it by hitting people.
3. Conflict resolution through games and role-playing simulations.
Usually, you can simulate conflicts through games and role-playing, and let Ding Bao practice; Reading conflict resolution stories in picture books is also a good way. Through it, children can learn to say sorry and feel the same way with others.
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