20 1 Ross's new girlfriend
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is retelling last season. When she is talking, we see a montage of Ross and Rachel. ]
Phoebe: OK, that's what has happened so far. Ross has always loved Rachel, but every time he wants to tell her, something always gets in his way, such as cats and Italian men. Finally, Chandler said "forget her", but when Ross was digging in China, Chandler accidentally revealed that Ross was in love with Rachel. She said, "Oh, my God." So she went to the airport to meet him back, but what she didn't know was that Ross got off the plane with another woman. Uh-oh! That's all you need to know. However, we have said enough. How are you doing?
Opening letter of credit 202
[Scene, airport, continuation of last season, Rachel was waiting for Ross to get off the plane when she saw him leave with another woman. ]
Oh, my God. Oh, my god. She decided to run away. ) excuse me. Move it. Move it. Emergency! Excuse me! She tried to climb over a bench and fell down. )
Rachel!
Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, what about China, and you? Hit him with flowers. )
Ross: Yes, it's great. Oh, what happened?
Rachel: What?
You are bleeding.
Am I? Oh, look at that, yes. Stop talking about me, stop talking about me, Mr. Return from the East. I want to know everything! (looking at Julie)
Ross: Well, where should I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
These are, these are not for you. (To Julie) These are for you. (loudly, thinking that she can't speak English. Welcome to our country.
Julie: (loudly, prove that she can speak English. ) thank you. I come from new york.
Rachel: OK, no problem. We use them to stop the bleeding. All right. Baggage claim? All right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is waiting for Rachel and Ross to come back from the airport. ]
No way!
I'm telling you, she went to the airport. She's going with Ross!
Oh, my God. This is huge. This is more important than being huge. It's like, well, what's bigger than huge?
Well, this?
Yes
Monica: Guys, you got a haircut.
Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffy.
Because, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good. I like that sound.
Rachel: (Entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, it's not alone. Julie, hold her. Cramp, cramp.
Chandler: Well, I think she's trying to tell us something. Come on, get the verbs.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slow-witted!
It's okay, Rachel. We got the bag. Hi, how are you? Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what's wrong?
Joey: What's the matter? !
Everybody, this is Julie.
Rachel: (Out of breath) Julie.
oh (happily) Hi!
Julie: Hi, but I'm not here. You haven't seen me. Tomorrow, when I don't have a 20-hour taxi and plane, I will make a better first impression.
Ross: And buses.
Julie: Oh, my God.
That screaming guy?
Julie: What about spitting?
You should hear this story.
Julie: We are on this bus. It is easily 200 years old. ...
At least.
Julie: ... This guy-
Rachel: The chicken shit on her leg. Oh, I'm sorry. I just leaked the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just that I just heard this story in a taxi, and that's all I can think of.
Monica: This is great. I mean, how did this happen?
Julie: Well, Ross and I went to graduate school together.
Ross: But we haven't met since. I went to China, and guess who was in charge of the excavation.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't it great to kick your crotch and spit your neck?
Monica: It's an expression.
Well, we just wanted to say hello, and then we went to see the baby.
Julie: Then we're going to bed.
Yes, our time is 6 o'clock tomorrow night.
Well, listen, don't tell us what will happen, because I like surprises.
(Ross and Julie quit)
Rachel: Bye. She closed the door and everyone tried to sympathize with her. )
[Scene: Central Park, Ross and Chandler come in. ]
Ross: Hey, Rachel, can I have a cup of coffee?
Rachel: Yes, of course.
Thank you.
Hey, Rachel, can I-
Have you talked to him?
Chandler: Not yet.
Rachel: So, no.
(He goes to Ross and sits down. )
What the hell happened to you in China? I mean, the last time we left you, you were totally in love, you know.
I know, I know I am, but there is always a little voice inside that says, this will never happen. Look ahead. Do you know whose voice that is?
Oh, my god
It's you, man.
Chandler: Well, maybe God is playing a trick on me.
Listen, you're right. She looked at me as if she saw a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie. I don't know. We were very happy together. I have to say, if it weren't for you, I would never be with her.
Well, you owe me one, big guy.
Rachel: Here's your lemonade.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
oh Then, you'd better take that back, because they will charge you for it.
But-
Rachel: Come on, come on, come on! (to Chandler) So, what did you find?
He said, he said they had a good time. I'm sorry, but it's gratifying that if you want to see it, he made the decision entirely by himself without any outside help.
Rachel: How is this a glimmer of hope?
Chandler: You must really want to see it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's house, Ross and his friends are watching TV. ]
Ironically, these people were finally chosen in the gym.
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen. ]
Monica: Phoebe, you know what I'm thinking?
Oh, okay. What, you haven't had sex for a long time, and you wonder if they have changed?
Monica: No, although I think so now.
Okay, so what are you thinking?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, you gave them such a great haircut, and I thought, maybe you would like to cut it for me?
Oh! number
Monica: Why not?
Because, I just, I'm an incredible nosy person, an incredible control freak.
Monica: No, you're not.
I know I'm not, but you are. I try not to hurt your feelings.
(The phone is ringing. )
Joey: (answers the phone) Hello? Hello. Yes, wait a minute. Ross, it's Julie, looking for you. Throw him the phone. )
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? Hello.
Chandler: (enters) Hi. Does anyone know a good tailor?
Joey: Do you need to alter some clothes?
No, no, I'm just looking for a man who draws on me with chalk.
Joey: Why don't you go and see Frankie? My family will always look for him. He made my first suit when I was 15. No, wait, 16. No, sorry, 15. (Still confused) Okay, when is 1990?
Chandler: When there is resistance, you must stop the cotton swab!
Ross: (on the phone) OK, OK, honey, see you later. Ok, bye. What? Oh, that's great. No, no, okay, you hung up. Okay, okay, one, two, three. (motioned for Rachel to be quiet) You didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Okay, no, no, you hang up. You, you, you
Rachel: (picks up the phone and hangs up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Rachel! I'll call her back.
All right!
Ross: (calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we were disconnected. ...
Okay, okay, okay. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross is just Ross, just this guy. Now he's great, oh, this good man I can't have.
Monica: Honey, I want you to have him too.
Rachel: I know you did. I'll take care of it. I'll take care of it Ross comes over and kisses Julie on the phone. ) I have to get out of here.
Well, I don't care what you say, she has something on her mind.
[Scene: The next morning, Monica and Rachel's house. ]
Joey: You know, I think I was 16 years old.
Monica: Please, cut the back a little.
Phoebe: I still disagree.
Rachel: (Leaning out of the bedroom) Uh, good morning. Can you close your eyes for a moment?
No, no,no. (grabs his pants) I won't be fooled again.
What happened?
Rachel: Well, I did a stupid thing last night.
What stupid thing did you do?
Paul: Hello, George Tutti!
Phoebe: Ew!
Commercial break
[Scene: Monica and Rachel live in the front. ]
Rachel: OK, Paul, why don't you get dressed and go? OK, bye.
Monica: Rachel, what is this?
I don't know. I met him last night.
Phoebe: Where?
Rachel: In his apartment. Is this juice?
Joey: Wow, wow. You dumped him because he had a crush on Phoebe?
Oh, God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Monica: Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad.
Chandler: People do stupid things when they are unhappy.
God, if every man I don't like gave me five cents, but this is about the terrible mistake you made.
Hi. Sorry we're late, but we're-well, very touching.
Hey, hey, Ross.
Ross: Hi, Paul. What are you doing here?
I like Raquel.
Ross: (to Rachel) Well, he's back.
Yes, he's back. Is there a problem?
No, no problem.
Rachel: Great! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Okay, you can't touch my ass.
Chandler: Well, despite the delicious bagels and obvious tension, my pants still need to be altered.
Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Trey Biani says hi. He'll know what it means.
Are you sure he can crack that password?
Monica: You know it's interesting. Last time Paul was here, my hair was much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: OK. Okay, but, but you have to promise that you won't be as controlling and bossy as Monica.
Monica: I promise.
Phoebe: OK. Some people will be eliminated, and some people will not. But I promise you won't feel anything.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is fixing her hair. ]
Okay, that's it. I quit.
Monica: What? I didn't say anything.
Yes, but this is not the face of a person who trusts someone. Well, this is the face of a man who doesn't trust others.
Monica: Sorry. Sorry, Phoebe. Just a little shorter than the time we discussed.
Phoebe: Can you relax? I know what I'm doing. That's how he dresses.
Monica: Who wears it?
Demi moore.
Monica: demi moore is not a man.
He is a man in Arthur and Part Ten.
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I want to be like demi moore.
Oh, oh, oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Sorry, sorry. Which one is demi moore?
Monica: She is an actress in Disclosure, Obscene Proposal and Ghost.
Oh, she has beautiful hair.
Monica: I know!
[Scene: In Frank's tailor's shop, Chandler is modifying his trousers. ]
Frankie: How long do you want the handcuffs?
Chandler: At least as long as I'm still wearing pants.
Frankie: I just got it. Ok, now let's do your inner seam.
(He measures up slowly along his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised expression. )
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica is cutting her hair, and Phoebe plays her doctor and comes in from the bedroom. ]
How is she?
It's too early to draw a conclusion. She is resting, which is a good sign.
Ross: How's your hair?
I don't want to lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side and it seems to have stopped curling.
Joey: Can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks so good, I think she will be unhappy. Ross, come in. They go into the bedroom, leaving Joey and Rachel alone. )
Joey: How are you?
Rachel: I'm fine.
Oh, is it that bad? Listen, I can feel women's frustration and vulnerability. This is one of my gifts.
Rachel: When I saw him get off the plane with her, I really thought I had hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's a bottom, and then 50 feet of garbage, and then I ...
Joey: You have to tell Ross how you feel.
Come on. How can I tell him? What about Julie?
What happened to her? They have only been dating for two weeks. Ross has loved you 10 years.
I don't know, I don't know.
Joey: Listen, Rachel, Rachel, I was with my woman. Actually, I've been with many women. The point is, I don't feel the way Ross feels about you for anyone.
Chandler: (coming in angrily) Yo, Parsons! Can I talk to you? Your tailor is a very bad person!
Joey: Frank? What are you talking about?
Ross: (coming in from the bedroom) Hey, what happened?
Joey's tailor ... used me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way. I have been to that guy 12 years.
Chandler: He said he was going to sew me inside. He put his hand on my leg, and then, there was a clear-
Ross: What?
Cupping.
Joey: That's how they make pants! First, they go up from one side, move it over, then go up from the other side, move it back, and then they go up from the back. What? Ross, Ross, can you tell him? Isn't that how they measure their pants?
Ross: Yes, yes. In prison! What's the matter with you?
Joey: What? That's not it? Oh, my god.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's house, later that day. Monica can come out and walk now. ]
Monica: Even mary tyler moore would be better.
Ross: I like it. Yes, I think it's 10.
Thank you. My hair is interesting.
Come on, Monica, it could be worse. You may be caught between the moon and new york. I know this is crazy, but it's true.
Thank you.
Well, I have to go. Goodbye. Bye, Rachel.
Rachel: (sticking her head out of the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Yes, that's what I mean by "goodbye"
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a second?
All right. (Walking to the balcony)
Hey, when the doctor does a hernia check, ...
Chandler: That's all right.
[On the balcony]
What happened?
Rachel: First of all, Paul and I are not getting back together. This is just a stupid thing I did. If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't do it. Well, secondly, what? (Ross laughs)
All right. Well, before I say anything, I just want to know, is this the kind where you break up with a boy, then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you are with that boy, and I look like a complete idiot?
No, no, no, no, no.
Well, then, I think, I think that guy is a scum. I hate him. I hate him. I always have been. You are too good to be with people like that. You should be with someone who appreciates you, who knows how funny, cute, charming and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking, "Oh, my God, I'm with Rachel." Someone who makes you feel good, just like Julie and I are together. Is there a second one?
No, I think that's all.
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone. ]
I swear to God, Dad. That's not how they measure their pants.
End credits
[Scene: Central Park, Julie wants Phoebe to cut her hair. ]
Julie: I want to cut it short, you know, like andie macdowell's new hairstyle?
Do you want to do it now?
Julie: Great! (Julie leaves)
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Well, I just want to make sure this time. Andie macdowell is the girl in Four Weddings and a Funeral, isn't she?
No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Rodney mcdowell. Andie macdowell is the hero of Planet of the Apes.
Oh, yes. Ok, thank you.
Rachel: You're welcome.
end