As parents, they should also actively participate in social activities and be willing to communicate with others, so that children can have a perceptual knowledge of how to make friends, and parents should always pay attention to their children's social ways. For example, greeting people warmly and saying thank you in a friendly way can subtly help children master some social skills. The following is a set of blog posts for parents' reference.
★ How do parents teach their children to make friends
Lead: In the face of lively environment and strange groups, many children will be unwilling to talk, unwilling to make friends, and even a little timid. At this time, how should parents educate their children to make friends and have their own social circle? Star baby parenting experts have some good suggestions to make children have more friends.
Social competence is a bridge between people and an indispensable survival tool in life. The development of society increasingly requires people to have the ability to communicate and cooperate with others. Cultivating good social skills is not only the need of children's intellectual development and healthy growth, but also the necessary quality for their future survival and development. Carnegie once said: "A successful manager, the role of professional knowledge is 15%, and communication ability accounts for 85%." If you want to cultivate your child's social skills, don't miss the child's growth process. If a child has a good interpersonal relationship and gets along well with children and teachers, then he will feel accepted and liked, and he will be happier, more cheerful and more confident.
First, create a democratic and equal family environment for children. We should treat children democratically and equally, be their friends as much as possible, and cultivate their character of loving and daring to speak. About family matters, especially those involving children, try to let children participate in the discussion and listen to their opinions. This will help children build up their self-confidence. Boldly associate with people and enjoy all kinds of fun brought by harmonious communication with people.
Second, be the baby's first friend. Parents play the most important role in the baby's gradual establishment of true friendship, because friendship means caring for others, understanding and responding to social information, and parents are the first people to deal with children. Respond quickly to the baby's needs, be patient, and often "talk" with the baby, which is very helpful for the baby to make friends in the future. There are many chapters in books such as "My Baby and I" that parents can read.
Third, cultivate children's specific social ways. Social ability is a kind of ability that children acquire in the process of interacting with others, especially with peers. Therefore, parents should teach their children specific social methods in order to let their children acquire social skills. In particular, let children learn to get what they want in a way that others can accept. For example, when children want to join other people's games, they can be taught to ask friendly questions: "Can I join your game?" "I want to play with you, can I?" When children compete with others for toys, parents should patiently guide them, work out better ways with their children, and learn to persuade others to share toys with themselves.
In addition, teach children to communicate with others in civilized language. Such as "thank you", "you're welcome", "I'm sorry", "all right", "you play first, I'll play later" and other languages, so that children can actively interact with others, gradually learn to communicate with others and learn to make friends. The interesting stories in the children's book "Mei Mei Xing Making Friends" are all about teaching children how to make friends.
Fourth, create situations to improve social skills. Social skills will be improved in some cases. Parents should create various social opportunities and conditions for their children. Parents should encourage their children to make more friends, visit more, or invite some children to play at home. When the opportunity of communication comes, parents should learn to hide behind their children instead of rushing in front of them. For example, if there are guests at home, let the children participate in the reception; If there is an opportunity, we should also bring our children to various parties appropriately so that they can communicate and play with different relatives and friends. When shopping, let children try to buy what they like. Let children learn to get along with others correctly in a specific living environment.
Fifth, praise in time to consolidate social skills. Praise is like sunshine. In the face of children's correct and positive interpersonal behavior, they should be praised with passion. It would be better if we could add body language. Kiss, touch, hug, etc. Only in this way can children understand what behavior is right and continue to consolidate and continue. (Source: Early Education Network)
★ How to guide children to make friends correctly
Before, it was probably 1 1.6. I was also a guest on the 930 education program of Guangxi Radio Station to discuss the topic of "how to educate children to make friends correctly". Because I have been engaged in family education, especially marriage coordination and parent-child communication. Therefore, I am deeply touched by this issue that parents are generally concerned about.
Personally, I think that for children to make friends, we must first understand the nature of children's personality and master their communication motives and habits. Under the premise of meeting children's emotional needs, targeted and directional guidance and education will get twice the result with half the effort.
Every child has unique personality characteristics and behavior habits, and it is impossible for us to adopt a standard or a scale to adapt to each child. In view of the fact that parents don't know much about personality knowledge, they can only analyze it according to their children's personality performance, which can be simply divided into two situations: active and passive.
Active communication type
The purpose of actively communicating with children is to be self-centered and exert their appeal and influence to lead interpersonal communication. Among them, there are two different situations in terms of appeal, influence and judgment, such as:
One is that children are proactive, aggressive, aggressive, command-and-control and domineering from an early age. He will be followed by a group of people at any time and place (king of the children). If he is too domineering, he won't have too many friends, and some will stay away from him.
There is also a more critical, stable and introverted person who has high standards for himself and others. Generally speaking, people who do not meet the standards will not play with him, that is to say, they will not make friends casually, and only those who meet their own standards will have in-depth exchanges. Such children have few friends, but deep friendship.
For active parents, the focus of guidance and education should be: the cultivation of children's own moral concepts, right and wrong norms, outlook on life and values. Educating this kind of child well will not only affect the healthy growth of your child, but also affect the children affected by it. Do one more thing, benefit the family, contribute to society, and have boundless merits.
Passive communication type
Children with passive communication are easily influenced by the environment or others and are in a passive position in interpersonal communication. They are all affected or followers. There are also differences between affected people and followers.
The affected people are easily infected by temptation. They are usually very optimistic and enthusiastic, like to be lively and the world is at peace. They don't know anyone, they are curious, emotional, thinking jump, and easy to be incited and tempted.
Followers are people who naturally like others to make decisions for themselves, and it is difficult to refuse the command and control of others. It is gratifying that they all have great wisdom. Coordination ability and self-protection consciousness are very strong, and they generally don't suffer big losses (war scenes). Far from breaking the law and discipline. They are experts in solving crises.
For parents who communicate passively, the focus of education and guidance is to improve their children's ability to distinguish between true and false, good and evil. Even combined with their own life experience, improve children's appropriate awareness of prevention, and on this basis, educate children to learn to analyze and think, which will be helpful for the study of cultural classes.
Of course, children's personalities in reality are diverse and will not be as clear as those classified above. Of course, there are no two identical children. This has brought great problems to parents' education and guidance. Parents should be observant and diligent in thinking. Accurately grasp and properly guide, and achieve a natural and smooth effect. Never copy mechanically. It led to rebellion and rebellion, which backfired.
The result of correct education and guidance can not only ensure children to make friends correctly, but also improve parent-child relationship and learning initiative, which is also my blessing to parents. (Source: Sun Liangguang's blog)
★ How to guide children to make friends correctly?
Consultation: My son is in the third grade of primary school, and his study is not bad. In the past, the teacher in the class reflected that this semester he always played with the worst students in the class. I didn't care at the time. Yesterday he came home and said that his good friend hit a child and made people cry. It wasn't him. I told him at that time that it was wrong to hit people like this. He said it was wrong, but it was interesting. As soon as his grandmother heard about it, she said that he was not allowed to play with these children. He even told us in tears that he would not go to school if he was not allowed to play with these children. This makes me feel that the problem is very serious, but I don't know what to do. Should parents interfere with children's making friends? Please ask teacher Meixi to guide our parents, thank you!
Meixi replied:
At any time, children grow up slowly, and gradually enter the school from their families and get in touch with society. They will be exposed to the information of school teachers, classmates and all aspects of society, and they will also meet some people and make some friends.
As the saying goes, a good teacher is a good friend who is good for both body and mind. Conversely, a good friend who is good for both body and mind will also become a good teacher in your life, work and study. This shows how important it is to make friends in people's growth and life.
Should parents interfere with children's making friends? First of all, it is certain that parents have the responsibility to guide their children to make friends correctly because of their lack of cognition and life experience;
In most families, parents interfere with their children's friends, mostly because their children have made "bad" friends, with the aim of breaking up their friends. The process of parental intervention is mostly:
1, analyze the "bad" characteristics of children's friends; "The Yellow River failed in the exam. . . . . . "； The child thinks that the Yellow River is not good at studying but people are good to me, or that the Yellow River likes to help others most in class, and he is very kind. In a word, I disagree with your so-called bad analysis.
Meixi Comments: As parents, analysis from the perspective of their own thinking will definitely lack objectivity, which will inevitably lead to a sense of identity or attract children's attention or thinking;
2. Order the child to accept the instruction "Don't play with him any more. . . . . . ",causing rebellious or aggressive behavior;
Meixi comments: education cannot be forced to produce, and good education comes from the process of being accepted by the educated and transformed into autonomous and spontaneous behavior; Making friends, studying and working are all the same;
3, moving with emotion "I am all for your own good"; Although children understand you, if you say it many times, children will think you are annoying.
4. strange "why don't you understand?" "You are still young." "Why don't you understand your mother?"
Meixi comments: The excessive behavior is often inspired from here. You say I don't understand, I am young, so I will prove it to you, which is equivalent to pushing your child in front of a friend, and at the same time, the child psychologically thinks that you don't understand him. As Heezen said before, all children want to be the pride of their parents, so don't doubt their love for you;
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We are under the control of our parents. Think about the process of teaching our children. If you have no children, do you remember what our parents taught us when we were growing up? In short, parents have failed in guiding their children to make friends, educate or guide them in the above ways;
Meixi teaches you correct and effective ways to guide children to make friends, which is suitable for families and people of different ages to make friends correctly;
See how Meixi guides children to make friends correctly.
1. What kind of person do you want to be?
When Meixi is with her children, I often ask, "Son, are you going to be a man?"
The son said, "Well, of course."
Meixi said, "What do you think a man should be like? (pause, wait for the child to say) When the child can't understand or speak, give some guidance. "First of all, of course, it is brave. What else do you need? "
The son said, "Be strong".
Meixi said, "Well, yes, as a man, being strong is very important. You can be strong when you encounter any difficulties. Of course, you have to find a way, right? " What is the most important point? "
The son said, "Smart."
"yes! Being smart is very important. Cleverness means that anyone will think about everything, whether to do it, whether to do it or not, and how to do it. Being smart is very important! " Immediately affirm the child's answer and pave the way for the next conversation;
Meixi: "So, you have become a person, a brave, strong and smart person!" " "
The son said "of course" and showed full confidence;
2. Discuss the topic about friends and arouse children's thinking;
Meixi: "It is wise to think before doing when reading." : What about making friends? Do you want to think about making friends with him first? "
Son: "Hmm"
Meixi; "If we are with people who swear every day, we will also become swearing people. Should we be friends with swearing people?"
Son: "Of course not."
Meixi: "Yes, we should be brave, smart and strong. How can I make friends with people who like to swear and become a swearing person? " You are absolutely right. "
Mei Xi once again stressed that any correct behavior comes from correct and healthy motives!
Meixi: "If that friend asks us to hit people, can we?"
"Don't." The son said it without hesitation; After early communication and constant affirmation, the child was given a decisive answer with enough confidence and correct thinking.
Meixi asked, "What if we don't go and he says you don't play with you?"
My son hesitated a little, and I immediately said, "We will bravely tell him that if we don't play, we won't play; We should be strong, brave and smart people, shouldn't we? At this time, children need our encouragement and support;
The son suddenly became strong and said, "Yes!"
Meixi said, "Be a brave, strong and smart person, and you will have many good friends. If he doesn't play with us, he will lose an excellent friend. And we will have more friends, won't we? "
The son said, "Yes!"
Meixi asked (emphatically), "What would you do if your friend really asked you to hit someone?" The son said, "No."
Meixi asked, "My friend really said I wouldn't play with you if I didn't go. What would you do? " The son said, "If you don't play, you won't play."
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In the process of this conversation, I don't know if you have noticed whether Meixi let her son play with anyone. In fact, whether it is children or ourselves, making friends is our own choice. As parents, the purpose of guiding children should not be to play with whom, but to help children choose friends, how to deal with problems in communication, teach children how to think when facing problems, and finally help children make decisions;
Remember that the decision to help children make is their own decision, and such educational guidance is really effective! (Source: PCbaby Early Education Pre-school Education)
I hope every child's tomorrow will be healthy, full of sunshine and warmth.