Hello, dear friend, welcome to my class. Welcome everyone to watch the following passage together.
When our ears can still hear crisp birds and beautiful music, we should be grateful for the gift of nature; When our eyes can still see the red leaves in autumn and the flowers in the forest, we should be satisfied with God's kindness. "If you want to change your world, you must first change your mentality. If your thoughts are correct, then your world will be correct.
Yes, what a wonderful passage. The world is what we think in our hearts, and the so-called phase is born in our hearts.
Next, I will analyze how the performance grows with you from eight aspects.
First, take other people's criticism as praise.
198 1 year, the United States set up the "Golden Raspberry Film Award", which was specially set up for those who were selected for the worst film, the worst director and the worst actor compared with the "Oscar Award". From the establishment of the award to 2005, although the winners will be selected every session, no one has attended the "worst" "Golden Raspberry" award ceremony.
On the evening of February 26, 2005, the night before the opening of the Oscar ceremony, the Golden Raspberry Film Award officially kicked off in a small theater in central Hollywood that can only accommodate 300 people. The shabby opening ceremony was in sharp contrast to the grand occasion of the Oscar ceremony.
All participants, including the organizers of the Golden Raspberry Film Awards, believe that this year's Golden Raspberry Film Awards will maintain the level of previous years, and no award-winning actors will come to receive the award, because this is a practice formed over the years. After the award ceremony began, the host announced in a teasing tone: "Now, please welcome Ms. halle berry, the cat heroine and the winner of the worst actress of the year, to take the stage to receive the award!"
As soon as the host's voice fell, unscrupulous laughter broke out at the scene. The host also smiled and said, "Only a fool will win this award unless she has extraordinary courage that ordinary people don't have!" "
At this moment, a scene that stunned everyone appeared: halle berry, dressed beautifully and formally, walked slowly from the background to the podium. As she walked, she smiled and waved to everyone! At that moment, the air in the whole venue was frozen, and everyone was surprised to stare big eyes and open their mouths: Is this a dream? It was not until Halle Berry actually got on the podium and took the trophy of "worst actress" with both hands that all the talents woke up like a dream, and thunderous applause suddenly sounded, which lasted for nearly 10 minutes.
After deeply bowing to the audience, halle berry told everyone with tears in her eyes: "Although I was once one of the most famous female stars in Hollywood and won the Oscar for Best Actress, in fact, I never imagined that I would get on this podium and win the award of' Worst Actress'. Of course I thought about giving up receiving, but my mother told me from an early age that' life is never smooth sailing. If you can't be a good loser, you will never be a good winner. So, here I am! Thank you very much to all the audience and the judges. You have given me the most precious wealth in my life, which is enough for me to enjoy in my life. "
When halle berry walked off the stage with a smile, the audience broke into thunderous applause again.
Not many people can face criticism correctly, especially those who like to be criticized by others. Especially those who lack self-confidence and are unusually sensitive to criticism will always try their best to avoid it. Over time, they will naturally feel fear. The only way to overcome the fear of criticism is to face it bravely. When you find someone criticizing you, what is your best way? Is to stand up bravely and bear the consequences.
Only small people who have accomplished nothing can avoid criticism; Don't be afraid of unfair criticism, but know what unfair criticism is; Don't be afraid of being criticized by others. When you put forward a new idea and a new method, you should accept criticism from others. Smart people are not only self-aware, but also willing to accept criticism. Everyone has defects. If they are exposed, accept them frankly. There is no need to escape.
Second, you can't change things, but you can change your mood.
There was a man named Ying Gleiter who was once troubled by illness. He wasted many years in seeking medical treatment. Just when he was glad that he was close to recovery, he was diagnosed with kidney disease and high blood pressure. This time, his illness is complicated and serious. The doctor said that no one could save him, and suggested that Mr Gleiter's family prepare for the funeral.
Gleiter, England, fell into deep despair. After he told his family about his deathbed, he locked himself in his room and refused to see anyone. The family was very sad to see him in pain, but there was nothing they could do about his illness. In this way, a week later, British Gretel suddenly opened the door and said loudly to her family, "I look like a fool." I'm afraid I won't die within a year, so why not be happy while I'm still alive? "
As he spoke, he stood up with a bright smile. His family was moved by his words, but he forced himself to be happy for fear of his family's distress. Since then, after getting up every day, he will say to himself in the mirror, "Smile!" " "Gradually, he found himself feeling much better and smiling more and more naturally.
A year later, British Gretel was happier and healthier instead of lying in the grave. To the doctor's surprise, his kidney disease has improved and even his blood pressure has dropped.
Gleiter explained this to his family and friends: "One thing I know for sure is that if I keep moping and moping, the doctor's prediction will come true. However, I give myself a chance to recover, that is, be optimistic and smile. "
Yes, he is still alive, because he has discovered the secret of optimism.
Although there are still many unsatisfactory and even ugly things in the world, the general trend of social development is consistent with our ideals. No one wants to encounter difficulties and misfortunes, but smart people will regard them as opportunities for growth. It is through struggling and working hard in pain that people discover, choose and create beautiful things, and it is precisely because they have experienced painful tempering that they have reached the peak of happiness. So don't let the temporary pain drown out the bright smile!
Third, change "I stumbled" to "I learned"
Tell a true story:
The Nobel Prize is the most famous scientific prize, which almost represents the highest achievement of the scientific community. However, you may not have noticed that one country has won the most Nobel Prizes. If you want to know the answer, then the judges will tell you without thinking-Jews. In fact, if you know that Jews are a people who "came out of hell", they suffer the most, and their world can be described as "purgatory", then you won't be surprised by this answer.
Jews also lived a stable life at first. They settled in Jerusalem and gradually prospered, especially under the leadership of Solomon, creating a brilliant Jewish civilization. However, this rich land has attracted the covet of many countries, triggered a series of wars and brought great disasters to Jews. Because the terrain near Jerusalem is flat and there are no natural barriers such as mountains, it is difficult to resist the invasion of foreign enemies only by fragile walls. Finally, the Jews failed. They were enslaved, exiled, and even taken to Babylon to go to prison. This is the famous "Babylonian prisoner" in history. After countless bloodshed, the Jews completely lost their homes and began to live in exile. Since then, this homeless nation has gradually been forgotten by people. Once Etruscans, Hittites, Visigoths, etc. , all disappeared in such exile. However, Jews are fighting the fate of extinction. Although they are in a foreign land, they are United and have created one miracle after another.
During the Second World War, Jews unfortunately faced unprecedented disasters. Under the persecution of racism, a large number of Jews were killed. However, they still did not give up, did not surrender, but bravely survived. After World War II, the Zionist movement of the Jewish nation rose, and those Jews who had been scattered returned to Jerusalem and re-established a new country. Nowadays, after years of baptism, the Jewish nation has not only bid farewell to the "beggar years", but also made remarkable achievements in many fields and made great contributions to the development of mankind.
Therefore, some scholars began to study the secret of Jewish success. Many of them believe that the success of Jews benefits from their experiences and beliefs.
The attitude of Jews towards failure makes us reflect. If a person's life is too smooth, he will find it difficult to cope with sudden failure and eventually collapse at one blow. Therefore, it is beneficial for us to experience some failures properly. However, if we are always used to failure and indifferent, then failure is meaningless to us. Only after failure, face up to failure and sum up experience and lessons can we get the positive effects brought by failure and become better.
After encountering failures and setbacks, we should correctly analyze the subjective and objective reasons and find out the corresponding solutions. Besides, we should lower our expectations. Although sometimes failures and setbacks are caused by some objective reasons and irresistible factors, they are often caused by too high expectations. Proper adjustment of expectations will often make you enjoy the joy of success. Only in this way can we constantly achieve our goals and enhance our self-confidence, and over time, our inferiority complex can be gradually overcome.
Although most of you won't fail miserably and thoroughly, nothing can fail to any extent. If you don't fail because you are cautious in life, then such a life itself is a failure. So, I think failure also has some unexpected benefits. Therefore, when we encounter failure, I will tell you a story, don't give up on yourself, face it bravely, learn from it and try to improve our own practices.
Fourth, accept the unfairness of the world.
Bill Gates, the former president of Microsoft who studied at Harvard University, once said: "Life itself is an unfair competition. Getting used to it and accepting it is the only thing you can do. " The essence of life is unfairness. Moreover, this unfairness pervades every subtle and insignificant stage of everyone's development. However, if you don't realize this reality and just complain and be impatient, then your life will always be unfair.
Tell a true story:
From 65438 to 0939, 20-year-old Kaplan graduated with honors from City University of new york. However, when he continued to apply for further study in medical school, he was rejected by five prestigious schools in succession. Kaplan described this memory in his autobiography: "I am Jewish, and I went to a public university. These are the reasons why they turned me down. For me, it never rains alone. " He felt it was unfair. As long as the medical school also needs entrance exams, he can prove to the school that there are no fewer students who graduate from public universities like himself than those who graduate from private universities.
At that time, Jews were discriminated against in American education, and society did not provide them with too many opportunities to receive higher education. The only remaining breakthrough is the exam. Many Jews rely on smart minds and excellent grades to squeeze into the Ivy League, where the upper class is the main source of students. These "low-level students" caused panic in American education, and everyone even began to think about how to solve the "Jewish problem." At that time, the admissions office in charge of enrollment in American universities was established in this atmosphere.
This is the era in which Kaplan lived: the whole Jewish nation was excluded by whites, and he was just one of this vulnerable group. In the face of injustice, Kaplan did not complain, let alone give in, but focused on the only weapon that Jews could rely on-the exam. From 65438 to 0946, Kaplan began to study the SAT, an important entrance examination for American universities, and focused on how to improve the SAT scores quickly in a short time.
Although all the examination institutions tried to tell students that it was a waste of money to participate in Kaplan's systematic training, when more and more students who had received Kaplan's training achieved excellent results, the Federal Industry Committee finally decided to conduct a formal investigation on Kaplan, hoping to prove that this "bad Jew" was making false advertisements.
1979, the investigation report was officially released. To everyone's surprise, Kaplan's training can actually improve students' scores in all subjects in the SAT by at least 25 points! This report became the best national advertisement of Kaplan training institutions, and Kaplan's career was out of control from then on.
Subsequently, the examination revolution triggered by Kaplan was called the educational democracy movement, which forced the whole United States to adjust the talent selection mechanism accordingly. He is called the father of modern American education.
Life is not a debate, there is no such thing as fairness and justice. Perhaps, it gives others all flowers and applause, but it gives you thorns. People who can understand and love life will never force life to bring them roses, but will turn thorns into roses. In this process, struggles and groans are inevitable, but they will not make people shed painful tears.
Fifth, learn to find the wonderful in the ordinary.
Tell a story.
After Truman was elected president of the United States, it became the most glorious event in the family. This originally unknown family instantly became the focus of the United States. A reporter went to interview Truman's mother and asked, "You must be very proud to have a son who has become president!" " Truman's mother answered directly without much thought: "Yes." For this answer, the reporter knew it was natural, but before he asked questions, the president's mother continued: "But I am also proud of my other son." Like many Americans, this reporter knew almost nothing about this family before. Hearing this, he was very curious and asked, "So, madam, what does your other son do?" The old man smiled and replied, "He is planing potatoes in the field now."
There is always such a person in the world: they live a very dull life around us, and when they pass by us, we won't look at them again, or even turn a blind eye. However, they never gave up their dreams and pursuits. Because of their ordinary qualifications, their success is not as good as those outstanding people, and they will not be admired by thousands of people. However, when people with such an ordinary appearance and such a dull life shine a dazzling light of self-confidence at the moment they pursue their dreams, they have already lit up the whole world.
There are many ways to succeed in life. I'll tell you a story, and a little person's life dream. Not everyone has the opportunity to become a big shot, but as a small person, you should also know that ordinary things are often the most attractive things, which will be a magnificent tree growing in fertile soil and a humble flower blooming in dust. In short, the best life is often the most ordinary life.
Sixth, self-confidence is the starting point of all success.
Emerson said: "Believe in your own thoughts, believe that what you think is right in your heart, and it is right for everyone-this is genius." Only by believing in yourself can we constantly tap our potential and surpass ourselves with self-confidence to succeed.
Or tell a story and experience it yourself.
Dr Hal Donovan, an American personality analyst who graduated from Harvard University, believes that a person who appreciates and trusts himself is more likely to succeed than a person who denies himself and feels inferior. They will not deny themselves because of their shortcomings. They know what their strengths are, and they have found their own development path. How can people who go their own way lose themselves?
Once, Dr. Hal Donovan received a poor man who was heavily in debt, homeless and wandering around because of the collapse of his business in his office. The tramp greeted me after entering the door: "I came because I hope you can help me."
It turned out that when he was desperate for life and wanted to end his meaningless life by suicide, he saw a self-motivation book written by Hal to encourage him to continue living. He believes that as long as we tell a story and tell a story, the author of this book will be able to stand up again with the help of the author.
When the tramp told his misfortune, Hal looked at him from head to toe: the other person's blank eyes, sunken wrinkles, unshaven beard for many days and nervous expression all proved to Hal that he was hopeless. However, Hal couldn't bear to hit him.
Hal listened to all the stories of the tramp, thought it over carefully and said, "I can't help you, but if you like, I'll take you to see someone who can help you make a comeback and win a better life again." As soon as Hal finished, the tramp jumped up. He grabbed or talked about Joel's hand, eager to see the man who could change his fate.
Hal took him and led him to the psychological laboratory where he usually did personality analysis, so that he could see a curtain cloth hanging at the door with himself. Hal opened the curtains to reveal the high mirror inside: this mirror can see the whole body of people.
Hal pointed to the tramp in the mirror and said, "It's him. No one in this world can make you make a comeback except him. " Unless you are willing to sit down and get to know him thoroughly and see his every advantage and disadvantage. Otherwise, you will have no way out. Because you are useless to you and the world until you really know him. "
The tramp studied his face carefully in the mirror, touched his bearded face with his hand, and looked at the people in the mirror from head to toe for several minutes. Then he stepped back, lowered his head and began to cry. When he left, Hal found that his steps were no longer tense, but relaxed and powerful.
A few days later, when he was out, Hal met him in the street. He has found a job and intends to start his life again.
How do you feel?
Seventh, learn to debug mentality and adapt to gains and losses.
In a temple, there lived an old monk and a young monk. One day, the young monk pointed to a desolate grassland behind the temple and said to the old monk, "Look, master, this place is really ugly. Sprinkle some grass seeds quickly! " "
The old monk agreed and said, "Good! When it rains, we can sow at any time. "
A few days later, after a rain, the old monk really bought a bag of grass seeds for the young monk to sow.
Just as the young monk was sowing seeds, a gust of wind blew and grass seeds floated in all directions ... The young monk cried anxiously, "Oh, no, this is a big deal." Many grass seeds have been blown away by the wind! " "
The old monk said to the young monk lightly, "Well, it doesn't matter. Most of the grass seeds blown away by the wind are empty and will not germinate even if they are scattered on the ground. Let them go. "
The young monk continued to sow grass seeds. However, when he had just finished sowing seeds, he attracted a group of sparrows. This time, the young monk was anxious again: "It's broken, it's broken! Master, all the grass seeds have been eaten by sparrows. What can I do now? "
The old monk comforted the young monk and said, "Don't worry. There are many seeds that sparrows can't eat, whatever. "
On the night of sowing, it suddenly rained heavily. The next morning, the young monk hurried to the grass to have a look, then turned around and rushed into the meditation room, shouting, "Master, it's no good! The grass seeds have been washed away by the rain, so we can waste energy! "
The old monk still said calmly, "What does it matter? Grass seeds germinate where they are washed. Let nature take its course. "
In this way, after seven or eight days, lovely green buds appeared on the originally bare grass overnight! Where there is no sowing, there is green.
When the young monk saw it, he danced with joy: "Oh, so many buds have sprouted and grown so well, it's incredible!" "
The old monk looked at the young monk and said with a gentle smile, "Follow the joy, follow the joy."
It is not difficult to see that the old monk in the story is a model with strong adaptability. He can treat the new situation and changes of things and environment from a rational and positive perspective, so he has an adaptive mind and is more calm and generous. The young monk, on the other hand, is the representative of another kind of people: thoughtlessness, negativity and heavy gain and loss. Such people are easily surprised, frightened, impatient and at a loss when dealing with new situations. They are too sensitive and keen to the changes around them. A small action can arouse huge ripples in their hearts, so that they can't treat people calmly. What's more, it will hinder them from choosing jobs and making friends. Therefore, it is necessary for everyone to develop a strong adaptability.
Eighth, if you don't want to be in a weak position, you must learn to show weakness.
In fact, timely weakness is also a kind of survival wisdom, but also a means of success. If you are a strong man, showing weakness properly will not only lower your status, but also win the admiration and respect of others. If you are not a strong person, proper weakness is only a true expression, which will make people feel that you are honest and appreciate you very much. Therefore, no matter who you are, occasionally showing weakness will make you more grounded.
Tell you a story:
Although the writer Shen Congwen's novels are well written, his teaching level is average, and he knows this very well. Therefore, every class, he will start like this: "My class is not wonderful. If you want to sleep, I won't interfere, but please don't snore so as not to affect others. " Because of his "weakness", the students are full of energy, and they all listen to his lectures carefully, and few people doze off. Therefore, even if your position is higher, there will be some shortcomings more or less. If you can sincerely show your weaknesses, you will be understood and tolerated by others. On the contrary, if you are always arrogant and cover up your shortcomings, it will be disgusting. Occasionally showing weakness is a brilliant survival wisdom.
Many people are eager to show their talents and strength when they enter a new work unit, hoping to get recognition from others as soon as possible, so they are too sharp-edged. Doing so will only backfire, making people feel conceited and bored with you. In fact, this self-centered and individual-oriented idea is undoubtedly artificially setting an insurmountable gap between yourself and your new colleagues. Therefore, in the new environment, only by showing weakness in time and lowering our posture can we establish a good image and win everyone's goodwill and trust.
However, weakness also has a bottom line, and it should be done occasionally. Often or always showing weakness everywhere will make people look down upon or even dislike it. Although you can't be good at everything, you must always have a gift that you can bring, so that people will feel that you are a valuable person.