Generally speaking, it is good or bad for contemporary college students to fall in love. From the perspective of the whole society, freshmen who have just entered the university gate are more envious of the happy life of their brothers and sisters in love, so they will blindly pursue a girl they like, or find a beautiful girl, some for the sake of face, and all have girlfriends who are embarrassed to find an ugly one, but this is disrespect for feelings and pure fun. On the surface, everyone seems to be happy. In fact, this is a manifestation of the immaturity of contemporary college students. According to the survey, 80% people who enter the university will fall in love or want to talk about it, but less than 10% can really fall in love after graduation. This reflects a question worth thinking about.
On the one hand, falling in love will affect learning. After all, I came to college to learn knowledge and improve my quality and survival skills. Some families are not rich and don't have so much money to cultivate love. Love is to be won by themselves, and it will only begin after they have the ability to support themselves and both sides are mature. On the other hand, when entering the university, everyone starts their own life and begins to experience love, but the most important thing is sincerity. Can't be defiled, friends are valuable, and classmates are friendly. Maybe you think it's nice to have someone you love leaning on your shoulder. There's no reason to say that you are wrong, people are different, and your thoughts are unpredictable. How to treat your life is a long way to go, and you have to grasp it yourself!
1. How to treat college students' love?
Why are we discussing this topic? I think only by knowing whether college students are willing to fall in love and their initial love psychology can we explore the love psychology of college students from the root.
Sampling method: stratified sampling was conducted for all freshmen in the west campus of Liaoning Medical College.
Investigation process: lock in the selected freshmen and find out whether they are in love or not and why they are in love through telephone conversation, indirect conversation and direct interview.
The survey shows that 64. 1% students are in favor of dating, 9. 1% students are talking, 2 1.6% students are talking, 26.8% students have talked before, and only 26. 1% college students think they don't want to talk during their study. In addition, the age of falling in love has also advanced. Among the younger freshmen, the proportion of falling in love accounts for 15.5%.
Through my investigation in recent weeks, I also understand and count the original intention of college students' love.
In the survey, the proportion of "finding a lover who loves each other" is 6 1.7%. However, "meeting psychological and physical needs" accounted for 17.6%, and "feeling fresh and enriching life" accounted for 17.3%. It can be seen from this data that the traditional concept of love has begun to fade among college students today.
Second, the characteristics and types of college students' love psychology
1, psychological and behavioral characteristics of love
Intuition: men and women beautify and attract each other, and both sides feel pleasing to the eye and comfortable. The so-called "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". At this time, it is easy to produce the "expectation effect", that is, to give the other person the characteristics he wants to appear. The so-called "the moon moves, and it is suspected that it is a jade person." The natural scenery and the surrounding environment are branded with love. But at this time, it is also possible to be distracted from work and study and make mistakes easily. Therefore, we should pay attention to controlling emotions, opening our eyes, helping each other and improving together with the powerful power of love.
Obscurity: words are implicit and poetic, actions are implicit and virtuous, and words, manners, moonlight, expressions and actions all reflect the word "love"
Exclusivity: the psychological characteristics of people who are single-minded and loyal to the right. Men and women in love don't want others to get involved in their intimate relationship. They form a system of special enjoyment and intimacy, and instinctively resist others from getting close to their lover. This feature is necessary to maintain the long-term stability of love. If lovers are allowed to develop intimate relationships with the opposite sex, love cannot be stable.
The extreme development of exclusivity will cause young people to doubt the behavior of lovers and cause serious psychological burden. College students are more sensitive than their peers, and they can capture the track of people's psychological activities, which also strengthens the possibility of doubt. Excessive suspicion and interference with lovers' freedom will inevitably bring troubles to themselves, which may lead to the breakdown of love and even make some lovers commit suicide because they can't bear the psychological burden.
Suspicion of a lover and distrust of his (her) loyalty is largely a manifestation of selfishness. Selfishness regards lovers as their own private property, which is a morbid love psychology. Too selfish people don't allow lovers to have any contact with other members of the opposite sex, thinking that lovers only belong to themselves. Selfishness also includes inferiority, and truly confident people rarely show such cowardice.
Selfishness, suspicion and jealousy are normal within a certain range, and people cannot be asked not to be jealous of the opposite sex who is closely related to their admirers. But excessive suspicion will affect the development of love and mental health. When a person feels that his doubts and jealousy are out of control and can't cope, it is best to seek the help of a psychological counselor. Selfishness, suspicion and jealousy are the enemies of love. You should be careful, they ruin the delicate flower of love.
Volatility: the mood changes greatly, the heat can reach white heat, and the cold drops to freezing point. Laugh and dance when you are happy, and be depressed when you are upset. This ups and downs of emotional changes sometimes have a negative impact on physical and mental health. Therefore, we should strengthen our self-cultivation and constantly improve ourselves to reduce emotional fluctuations.
Impulse: when people are in love, the scope of cognitive activities tends to shrink, the ability of rational analysis is suppressed, and habitual behavior is destroyed. Many things that happen at this time can be completely different from usual. At the same time, because the ability to control oneself is weakened, it is often impossible to restrain one's behavior and correctly evaluate the significance and consequences of one's behavior.
2. Types and characteristics of college students' love.
Goethe, a famous German poet, once said, "What charming young man in the world is not good at love? What young girl in the world is not good at longing for love?
Nowadays, it is very common for college students to fall in love, because they are very close in age and many college students live on campus, so it is natural to know more and have feelings. This kind of emotion is really different from some love in society. It came into being at a specific time, at a specific stage, when we studied together. This emotion is simple. They are not utilitarian. They don't care how much money the other party earns, whether the other party has a house or not, and how the other party's family situation is. And college students' love is generally fruitless, which is a feature of college students' love. Love is an uncontrollable art of life. It's one thing to long for love, but it's another to get along. Many people are crazy about it and quit miserably. Some have succeeded, some have failed, and there is a diversified trend among college students because of their different love motives.
1, fly with me. This kind of students are basically mature in personality, have a correct view of love, can guide love with reason, and correctly handle the relationship between love and learning, affection and love, love and sex. Only when both parties have strong enterprising spirit, enterprising spirit and self-control, have the same ideals, ambitions and values, and regard the success of their career as the lasting goal of love, can they not only treat the happiness of life with love, but also turn happy love into the driving force for study and work. They believe that love should not only promote the progress of both sides, but also promote the growth of both sides.
2. Life is affordable. After entering the university, graduation destination is the most concerned topic for college students. Love is an indisputable condition related to graduation, and family conditions and mutual development prospects are also necessary conditions for their respective concerns. Some college students may not have strong love and yearning for each other, but they have clear life goals. Junior year is the climax of this kind of students' love. They think that being friends, falling in love, understanding, trusting and admonishing are the best. This kind of love is rational and realistic, and determining the relationship causes less controversy.
3, fashion comparison type. In some colleges and universities, love has become a fashion. When many students around me have friends of the opposite sex, some male students talk about "love" in a hurry in order not to look incompetent, while some female students are trying to prove their charm. Due to the lack of purpose and serious attitude, they often follow their feelings, regard falling in love as a kind of spiritual compensation, and often go their separate ways on the pretext of "not thinking so much". This kind of love is very casual.
4, playmate consumption type. This kind of students are not full in spirit, have few same-sex friends, and often feel lonely and bored. In order to make up for the spiritual emptiness and desire to communicate with friends of the opposite sex, "love" has become a spiritual need at close range. Especially on weekends, roommates in the dormitory walk out of the campus in pairs. When they are alone in the dormitory, some students will feel empty and want to talk about love. This kind of psychological experience of girls is particularly obvious. It is reported that all the girls in a class of a university have "lovers" in their sophomore year. In their own words, "I'm not really in love, but life is too boring and I don't have a confidant." I want to find a partner to have fun with. "
5. pursue romance. This kind of students are rich in emotion, romantic love has a strong attraction to them, and their pursuit of romantic love and snooping psychology are getting stronger and stronger. It is not that they don't respect love. Instead, they feel that the excitement around the flowers and flowers is more colorful and lasting than the responsibilities and obligations of love. Compared with this harmonious charm, the character's own quality has been diluted. When they ask for instructions and accept love, they have a deep understanding and enjoy it. They are always immersed in their own world, forgetting the group and even their studies.
6, utilitarian secular type. Take the other person's family background, family property, status, reputation, place, occupation, social skills, meekness, etc. As a prerequisite for love.
In addition, the love of contemporary college students also has the following characteristics:
"Don't seek eternity, but seek to have it" is a rash phenomenon. It pays little attention to the final result of love, but attaches great importance to the feeling and process of love. I asked a girl why she wanted to fall in love. Unexpectedly, the girl asked in surprise: When did I fall in love? It turns out that in her mind, love is talking about marriage, and getting married is love. Now she is just enjoying the process. In fact, there are not a few people who hold this view in universities. Most of them are to get rid of spiritual emptiness and kill time, and few are really based on feelings. Some students change lovers faster than NBA goals!
"Subjective study first, objective love first". As we all know, learning comes first, and feelings come second. However, in practice, some college students spend far more time in love than in study. Because I spent a lot of time indulging in love, my academic performance plummeted.
Emphasize the right to love, but lack the ability to love. The love between college students is mostly the first love under the collision of passion. After the passion faded, they didn't know how to cultivate love. In the running-in period of love and being loved, they are clumsy and often hurt each other. They are easy to fall in love, break up easily, emphasize the experience of love, and can't bear the responsibility of love.
Online dating. With the extensive construction of campus network in colleges and universities and the opening of internet inside and outside the campus, the number of college students surfing the Internet is increasing. However, a considerable number of college students deviate from the correct direction of surfing the Internet and regard online dating as one of the purposes of surfing the Internet. There are 7 girls living in the female dormitory of a key normal university. Seven girls are in love, and six are online dating. Many college students assert: "Almost everyone who goes online has online dating experience." Moreover, these college students dare to disclose their identities in online dating, including class teachers, counselors, parents and classmates, and are not shy about anyone.
College students' online dating is not only characterized by high proportion and openness, but also rash and rapid. Some students fell in love at first sight after chatting with netizens once and sending an email. Some students dare to say "I want to marry you" and "I want to love you until dawn" at the first contact, and soon establish a relationship on the website.
There are many psychological types of college students' online love, including games, emotional sustenance, pursuit of romance, self-expression, pursuit of fashion, drifting with the flow and other psychological types. No matter what type, almost all have a common feature: abandoning "love is for marriage" and treating online dating as an online game and a way of online emotional communication. "Not only can you completely lose the rules of the real society, but you can also blur gender and identity and treat everything as a game."
It is true that some college students gradually develop a good impression and fall in love online by exchanging their learning experiences and views on life. But most of them can't stand the temptation of the outside world. Seeing that all the students in the same dormitory are in online dating, I feel that I am not good alone, so I joined the online dating team.
College students are generally addicted to online dating, but once they are addicted, they will be addicted to online dating and regard it as the only pursuit of life. The survey shows that some college students do not rest at noon and night, work overtime for online dating, but are listless in class, and even some college students skip classes for online dating. Online dating not only seriously affects learning, but also tends to reduce communication with teachers and classmates, making them unwilling to participate in group activities, and their personalities become withdrawn or even split. Some college students have already paid for surfing the Internet by stealing. Some college students have to go to the mental health center for treatment because of the frustration of online dating, and the problem is serious and even mental breakdown. The cheating of online dating is a heavy blow to some college students. Some students who have been hit so hard have even ruined their life's future because they can't get timely guidance.
Love has changed a person's thought, psychology and behavior to a great extent. The healthier love is, the more positive changes there will be, and vice versa. As some scholars have pointed out: "For young people, love is more about the whole picture of life and personality. If a person's personality, life attitude and outlook on life have changed greatly after entering adolescence, then the biggest factor leading to this change is probably the influence of love. "
People are never isolated in society, but at different stages of life, the emphasis of interpersonal relationships that have an important impact on mental health is also different. For college students, the parent-child relationship, teacher-student relationship and peer group relationship that once had an important influence are giving way to the love relationship between the two sexes. In fact, the significance of love relationship to college students has gone beyond this relationship itself, but as the basis of their self-identity and self-worth. Therefore, college students' love is the need of physical and mental development, and it also plays a positive role in promoting their mental health, but it must be based on true and healthy love. Through this investigation and analysis, we can see that college students' love psychology is diversified and contemporary. Contemporary college students have a good grasp of love relationship and love psychology, and talk about a beautiful love under the correct value relationship.
I hope my answer can help you. . Thank you.