In the eyes of some parents, the task of parents is to let their children eat well, dress well and not get sick. Parents are willing to invest in their children's food, clothing, housing, transportation and physical health care, but ignore their children's mental health. In modern families, emphasis is placed on inculcating health knowledge and neglecting the cultivation of behavior habits; Pay more attention to dietary nutrition intake and less attention to the satisfaction of emotional needs; Pay more attention to the arrangement of adults than the independent training of children. The one-child phenomenon makes it very common to spoil children. If a little girl's skirt is ordered by someone else, she rushes to scratch someone else's face. As soon as the teacher wanted to talk to her, she cried loudly and said, "Dad will be distressed to know that you criticized me." When parents know, they laugh it off. For another example, when children talk about happy things in kindergarten or ask some questions at home, parents feel bored and ignore them. Children will naturally be cold for a long time if they don't feel emotional happiness and satisfaction.
2. The role of parents' role models in family education
Parents always want their children to get rid of bad habits. Once they find their children's problems, they are bound to be scolded or even beaten. However, parents don't realize that their words and deeds have a subtle influence on their children. For example, parents are very casual and don't mind what happens, so it is difficult for them to ask their children to be strict in everything. In addition, the psychological impact of divorced families on children is also very great. When children see the war between parents who are going to divorce, they will feel very scared and become very timid. Some children also take the initiative to avoid being bullied and beat and scold their classmates. Therefore, parents should first analyze whether there is any misconduct in the psychological problems they find in their children.
3. Parents have different views on education.
Many parents report that their children lie in psychological counseling. There are many reasons for lying. For example, preschool children can't distinguish between reality and imagination, and parents mistake their children's imagination for lying. This is actually the instinct of children to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, but there are also places where parents need to review. For example, if a child has a problem in kindergarten, the kindergarten teacher will find the parents, and the father will go home to criticize and correct it next time. If he looks for his mother, the child will inevitably suffer from the same flesh and blood when he comes home, and the child will benefit from his father. Over time, what children say in front of their parents, teachers and parents is different. The bad habit of lying is formed.
4. Look at the problem from an adult's point of view
Some things are good or indifferent to children, but some parents have problems with the perspective of these things. If you see the teacher asking the children to pick leaves in the kindergarten and chat by themselves, parents think that such a living teacher does not participate and the children do not have to do it. Parents think it's unfair to their children from the perspective of adults, while children themselves think it's a group activity, which is very interesting. In this way, parents' views and children's feelings are completely opposite, which makes children at a loss, or they learn to haggle over every ounce in interpersonal communication when they grow up.
5. Problems of grandparents and nannies.
Under normal circumstances, parents are busy with work and can't take care of their children wholeheartedly. It is inevitable that they will ask the elderly or nannies to help look after their children. On the one hand, the knowledge level of grandparents and nannies is usually lower than that of parents, and their main task is to look after children rather than educate them, so their help to children's psychological growth is far less than that of parents; On the other hand, grandparents and nannies always restrict children's activities or scare them of danger to avoid harm, which also affects their physical and mental development, such as poor sports ability, fear of trying new things, timidity, exaggerating danger and dependence.
Countermeasures and suggestions
1. Always give positive comments to children and praise them in time. Praise every little progress, so that children can gradually regain their self-confidence and do better.
2. Pay attention to changing parents' own image. If you are dissatisfied with some characteristics of your child, check whether you have similar performance, and if so, encourage your child to correct it with yourself.
3. Leave room for children's progress. The requirements for children should be what children can do through hard work, otherwise it will dampen their enthusiasm and self-esteem.
4. Actively adjust parents' own mentality. Try to see the bright side of things, try to understand and evaluate the communication with colleagues and the attitude towards society from the perspective of goodwill, so as to have a tolerant attitude in your heart and positively evaluate your children.
5. Create a good family environment for children and create a harmonious family atmosphere. Let children participate in housework and give full play to the function of cooperation; Let children enjoy democratic and equal status at home and strengthen communication with children.
6. Strengthen contact with kindergarten teachers, communicate with parents of children's peers, and keep abreast of children's situation.
7. Parents must master the basic knowledge of children's physical and mental health. If you encounter psychological troubles or obstacles about your child that you can't solve, you should consult an expert in time.