The failure of marriage did not depress the girl. She joined the religion and paid attention to the related knowledge of psychotherapy. Later, she gave lectures all over the world, held small training courses and provided psychological counseling services. She put forward the concept of "overall health" and advocated people to realize a virtuous circle of mental health and physical health. With her help, thousands of people in Qian Qian have been reborn. Finally, she became a world-renowned spiritual mentor and was called "the closest person to a saint" by the media all over the world, and was invited to participate in the oprah winfrey Show twice.
This girl is Louise Hay, the author of the book we are going to read today-the reconstruction of life. Rebuilding Life is a summary of Louise Hay's personal life experience and psychological counseling experience, and a collection of her psychological healing for many years. Her concept of "overall health" is also reflected in the book "Rebuilding Life". Through this book, we can master the method of rebuilding our life, and we may have a brand-new life.
Of course, you may think, is it really so magical to rebuild life? What is the relationship between "overall health" and rebuilding life? Such a good method, will it be difficult to do? After reading this book, you will get the answer.
In this book, the author tells you three things. First of all, why rebuild your life? Inspire people to take action by understanding the benefits of rebuilding their lives. So, what obstacles will people encounter in the process of rebuilding their lives? Predicting the possible difficulties before rebuilding life helps people to prepare their countermeasures in advance. Finally, by understanding the methods of rebuilding life, how to rebuild life and build a brand-new life.
We need motivation to do everything. With motivation, we can do things well. So is rebuilding your life. Understanding the function of rebuilding life will help us to generate the motivation to rebuild life, so as to rebuild life more smoothly.
The first function of rebuilding life is to help us "reinvent ourselves". Everyone has shortcomings, some people have shortcomings in appearance, such as being fat and short; Some people have shortcomings in their personalities, such as impatience and procrastination ... in most cases, these shortcomings will not affect our lives, and we can use them to do it. However, sometimes some people feel inferior because of one or two shortcomings. People with inferiority complex usually think they are useless and love self-denial, which makes them fall into a strange circle of self-denial. In the long run, such people really can't do anything well, and their shortcomings have a negative impact on their lives. In this case, rebuilding our life can help us accept ourselves, break the cycle of self-denial and recognize the value of our existence.
For example, alfred adler, the author of Inferiority and Transcendence. Don't look at him, he wrote a book on how to transcend inferiority. In fact, when he was a child, he felt inferior and was a representative figure in the field of self-denial. He has rickets, is short, feels that he can't do anything, and life is at a loss. Because of low self-worth and poor academic performance, I have been at the bottom of my class. Later, his father thought it would not work, and the good boy was ruined. So his father began to encourage him, and he decided to cheer up with his father's encouragement. This is what we call rebuilding life. In the process of refueling, he began to ignore his own shortcomings, turned inferiority into motivation, studied hard and became a bully in his class, thus breaking the strange circle of self-denial. Finally, he was admitted to Vienna University and became a psychologist. Alfred adler has changed from a boy who obeyed Nuo Nuo to a master of psychology. He not only made achievements, but also had a brand-new self.
It can be seen that rebuilding life is conducive to "reinventing yourself." To rebuild ourselves, we need to accept ourselves and stop self-denial. Only when we know ourselves clearly can we have new possibilities in life.
Next, the second function of rebuilding life is to help us "rebuild our body and mind". Author Louise believes that people need to maintain overall health, which includes "physical health" and "mental health". Physical health and mental health affect each other. If a person has a physical illness, he is usually in a bad mood. You can recall carefully what happened when we were sick. Is it a small cold that makes us depressed?
Similarly, if a person has a bad attitude, it will also have an impact on the body. For example, at work, we feel a lot of pressure. This kind of stress is reflected in the body, and we may have symptoms such as hair loss and insomnia. Of course, in life, it is normal for us to have some minor illnesses and feelings. But if you are depressed and weak all the year round, you should pay attention to your physical and mental state. Because perennial physical and mental health will inevitably have an impact on our lives. Rebuilding life at this time is a good way, which will teach us to learn to get along with our bad emotions and keep our body and mind healthy.
Like the writer Matt herold. The writer suffered from emotional cancer-depression at the age of 24. Suffering from depression, I can't work normally, and almost every job ends because I can't get along with people normally. For a time, he stayed at home all day, doing nothing. He is afraid to see anyone. As long as he walks out of the house, he will feel palpitations and fear. Psychological pain spreads to the body, and many parts of the body will also be painful because of the onset of depression. As a result, he lingered on the brink of suicide all the year round. However, he did not give up his life. He tried to rebuild his life and find the meaning of it. So, he began to concentrate on writing, and in writing, he slowly rebuilt his life. In this process, he also learned to get along with depression and get rid of the torture of the disease.
So, when we are suffering from illness, don't pay attention to it. Try to rebuild your life and set sail in another direction. In this process, we will gain a good attitude, and with a good attitude, we will have the possibility of "remodeling our body and mind."
Finally, the third function of rebuilding life helps us "reshape life". Many people in life have dreams, but only a few people have pursued them. Those who have never pursued their dreams are not because it is difficult to pursue them, but because they have no courage to choose what they like. Rebuilding our life can help us gain courage and reshape our "wonderful life".
Nick vujicic, for example, can be said to be one of the most afraid of chasing dreams in the world. Why do you say that? Because Nick Wu Gisich has a rare disease since he was a child. He has no limbs, and his limbs are like "seals". For a long time, he lacked the courage to live and confidence in the future. Later, however, he slowly changed his mind. He doesn't think he should set limits on his life. This mentality of not setting limits on his life allowed him to rebuild his life. Now, he has completed his college studies normally and set up his own family. He also shared his experiences through speeches and encouraged more people to face life again. Now, he is a global spokesman for inspirational optimism.
It can be seen that a person, regardless of the status quo, should dare to choose and pursue. Only in this way can we better rebuild our lives and reinvent ourselves.
Well, to sum up, we can find that there are three main functions of rebuilding life. First, we need to rebuild ourselves and not fall into the cycle of self-denial; Then, we should rebuild our body and mind and keep them healthy. In order to reach the destination, we can reshape our lives and have the courage to "choose".
Rebuilding your life has so many benefits, are you eager to try? However, before we talk about ways to rebuild our lives, let's talk about what obstacles people will encounter in the process of rebuilding their lives. Knowing these obstacles, we can make psychological preparations in advance and find countermeasures.
When rebuilding our lives, the first obstacle we will encounter is the "inherent concept formed in the process of growing up." Most of these inherent ideas come from parents. There is a saying that "parents are children's first teachers". Most people form their views on the world and life under the influence of their parents, and this view will accompany us all our lives. For example, Jacqueline, the wife of former President Kennedy. Her parents' way of educating their children is to advocate competition among them. So Jacqueline secretly competed with her sister since she was a child. She always tries to get her parents' attention by suppressing her sister. Even when they grow up, Jacqueline and her sister are constantly fighting with each other. When Jacqueline's husband Kennedy was assassinated, her sister was about to marry the Greek ship king. In order to maintain her superiority, Jacqueline seduced her sister's boyfriend.
Through this story, we can find that the influence of parents made Jacqueline's sisters deeply rooted in their sense of competition with each other, which made the struggle between the two sisters last for a lifetime.
Of course, parents are not the only source of inherent ideas, and some inherent ideas come from social knowledge. For example, we generally believe that it is more important for girls to "marry well" than "do well". Therefore, when many women develop their careers, they often lose their motivation because they consider their families.
Cheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of FACEBOOK, believes that the number of female executives is much lower than that of men, which is largely related to the inherent concepts of society. The concept inherent in society makes women feel insecure from the bottom of their hearts, thus holding back in the workplace.
Therefore, the inherent ideas formed in the process of growing up come not only from parents, but also from social knowledge. The most terrible thing about these inherent ideas is that they will limit our potential and become a stumbling block on the road of rebuilding our lives.
In addition to these inherent concepts, the second obstacle we will encounter in rebuilding our lives is "fear of the unknown". When people face the unknown, they will instinctively feel afraid. This is not to say that the unknown is really so terrible, but that people like to magnify difficulties when facing the unknown and worry that a comfortable life is coming to an end. The author Louise pointed out in the book that if you find a person always telling you "I'm not ready", the truth may not be that he is not ready, but that he is avoiding the fear brought by the unknown.
It is precisely because "fear of the unknown" is human instinct that successful people are often those who are not afraid of the unknown and dare to try. For example, Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba. At the beginning of his business, he encountered many difficulties. At that time, e-commerce was a strange field for the public. Because of their ignorance of e-commerce, many people are full of resistance to those who promote e-commerce. Lei Jun, the owner of Xiaomi's mobile phone, once mistakenly thought that Ma Yun was engaged in pyramid schemes, so he did not invest in Alibaba. However, the difficulties did not make Ma Yun afraid. He continues to explore the unknown field of e-commerce. In the end, he succeeded and changed the way we shop.
This shows that when we face the unknown, don't let fear run rampant. The unknown is not so terrible. Knowing more is the best way to solve the problem.
The third obstacle we will encounter in rebuilding our lives is "the satisfaction brought by bad habits". Everyone has some bad habits more or less, and repeating bad habits will satisfy our hearts. Nevertheless, people still don't like bad habits. Most people want to overcome bad habits, but the effect is not very good. Many people think that the reason why they can't overcome bad habits is because they lack self-control. In fact, according to the author Louise, bad habits have little to do with self-control. People can't overcome bad habits because they can't let go of some inner needs. For example, many people like to stay up late to brush their mobile phones. What they really like is not to brush their mobile phones, but to have the feeling of their own time after a hard day.
So finding your inner needs means you can get rid of bad habits quickly? Of course not. Even if you find your inner needs, the process of overcoming bad habits is also a running-in process. For example, some people start drinking fruit juice in order to quit carbonated drinks. But then I fell in love with juice, and then I went on.
It can be seen that the key to overcoming bad habits is inner needs, but finding inner needs has not been done. Overcoming bad habits is still a long-term process and needs to be adhered to.
To sum up, in the reconstruction of life, we generally encounter three obstacles. The first obstacle is the "inherent concept formed in the process of growing up", which will limit our potential and make it impossible for us to rebuild our lives; The second obstacle is "fear of the unknown". Fear is actually the fear of difficulties, which will make us afraid to face the difficulties of rebuilding our lives. The third obstacle is "satisfaction brought by bad habits", which will make us covet temporary comfort, but it is difficult to persist in the process of rebuilding our lives.
Through the previous analysis, we already know the function and difficulty of rebuilding our lives. Finally, how to rebuild your life.
First of all, let's look at the first way to rebuild our lives: let go of resentment and reconcile with our parents. Many people hate their parents because they hurt them. Among them, some injuries are direct injuries. For example, parents' criticism makes us feel that our self-esteem is damaged, and parents' desire for control makes us lack the ability to live independently. Everything else is collateral damage. For example, parents often quarrel, which makes us afraid of marriage. Parents think it is difficult to make money, which makes us afraid to pursue wealth.
However, no matter how many negative influences our parents have brought us, it is difficult for us to embrace a new life if we have been indulging in resentment towards our parents. So, how can we let go of our resentment towards our parents? The author Louise recommended a way to understand parents' childhood. Louise believes that if we know our parents' childhood, we can understand that their growing experience determines their ideas and the way to educate us, so that we can find that they have given us the best things they have.
Of course, some people may say that even if they know their parents' childhood and understand their actions, the negative influence they have brought is deeply rooted in their hearts, and he still can't reconcile with his parents. In view of this situation, Louise introduced a simple and rude method in the book. We can assume a scene to get back at our parents. We can imagine how to retaliate against them in our minds and release all emotions in the process of imagination. But after the revenge, one step must be added, and that is forgiveness. We should recite parents' names silently, imagine them as children, reinterpret childhood experiences in them, and then understand their difficulties with our hearts. If you can't do it once, practice it repeatedly until you forgive your parents from the bottom of your heart.
In fact, reconciliation with parents is reconciliation with one's past. Only by forgiving our parents can we treat our growth process correctly.
Next, let's look at the second way to rebuild our lives: face difficulties optimistically. The author Louise believes that everyone's ideas have shaped his life. What do you mean? It means that if your thoughts are positive, you may have a happy life; But if your thoughts are negative, you may have an unhappy life.
Therefore, if a person's living conditions are not good and can see the bright side, life will gradually get better. For example, Kōnosuke Matsushita, the god of Japanese business, was born in poverty, with little education and poor health. It can be said that his living conditions are very bad. But because he was born in poverty, he worked hard to make money by doing odd jobs and accumulated a lot of life experience at an early age. He worked hard when he was in poor health, and now he is still hale and hearty when he is old; Without any education, he kept asking others for advice and learning. It is because he saw the bright side of life that he didn't complain that he could become a better person in adversity.
Of course, some people may say that not everyone can have such a good attitude as Kōnosuke Matsushita. If my mental state is just not very good, what can I do?
Louise, the author, introduces some good ways to practice your mind in the book. First of all, we can make an inventory of the mind, list all the negative information we received before, and mark the source to understand the formation process of our negative thoughts. And then remove them one by one. For example, I am in a bad mood today. Come to think of it, I was late this morning and was recorded by the company. I was very unhappy. But can the fact of being late be changed? I can't. And if you continue to struggle like this, it will only affect work efficiency, and you will have to work overtime then. Going to bed late when you get home and not getting up the next day is a vicious circle.
Then, always say affirmative sentences in the mirror. We can praise ourselves and express our satisfaction with the present situation of life. If the living conditions are really bad, we don't have to lie, we just need to turn sentences into sentences. For example, the real situation is "my life is a mess, and I am late today." Then we can change this sentence into, "I am willing to change my life and try to get up early tomorrow." Sentences full of positive meanings.
Finally, let's look at the third way to rebuild our life: to pursue bravely and live too high. Louise, the author, believes that many people in life have never lived the life of have live, and they do what others ask them to do, not what they really want to do. For example, Masako, the Japanese Crown Princess, is a modern woman. After falling in love with the prince and marrying into the royal family, she was bound by royal etiquette and was constantly urged to have children. The responsibility of the Crown Princess overwhelmed Masako. Later, she suffered from adaptation disorder and is still receiving treatment.
It can be seen that if a person can't do what he likes, he is always bound by responsibility or obligation. It is difficult for such people to be happy, and they may have psychological problems like Masako. In order to avoid this kind of problem, the author Louise recommended a good method in the book to teach us to get rid of the bondage of responsibility or obligation.
Louise, let's make a list of what to do first. We should ask ourselves why we think we should do this. Then, we ask ourselves, if we should do it, why not? Through these two questions, we can find out what we really think. Then we cross off the things on the list that others want us to do but we don't want to do.
Well, through the above study, we learned three ways to rebuild our lives. The first is to let go of resentment and reconcile with parents; Only by reconciling with parents can we reconcile with our past; The second is to face difficulties optimistically; No matter what the status quo is, we should try to see the bright side; Third, be brave in pursuing and live a noble life. Be brave in pursuing what you like, and don't be bound by what you should do.
You may think, is it really so magical to rebuild life? What is the relationship between "overall health" and rebuilding life? Such a good method, will it be difficult to do?
The reconstruction of life, in which the author shows us the process of rebuilding life step by step through practice. According to the logic of content, we divide the process of rebuilding life into three categories-why rebuild life? What obstacles will we encounter in rebuilding our lives? And how to rebuild your life?
First of all, we know that rebuilding life has three functions. The first function is that rebuilding life helps us "rebuild ourselves" and stop falling into the cycle of self-denial; The second function is to rebuild our life to help us "rebuild our body and mind" and ensure our physical and mental health; The third function is that rebuilding our lives will help us "rebuild our lives" and have the courage to choose. Then, we learned about the obstacles to rebuilding our lives, and that "the inherent ideas formed in growing up" will limit our potential and make it impossible for us to rebuild our lives. And "fear of the unknown" makes us afraid of difficulties and dare not rebuild our lives; There is also the "satisfaction brought by bad habits", which makes us addicted to satisfaction and difficult to persist in rebuilding our lives. Finally, we learned how to rebuild our lives. First, we should put aside resentment and try to reconcile with our parents; Second, we should face difficulties optimistically. Third, we should have the courage to pursue a noble life.