Once a person with a strong heart realizes that his emotions are coming, the first and most important thing to do is to take a positive attitude towards the emotions that appear.
They never say, "I can't do anything about these emotions." This kind of thinking, they can hardly become the masters of emotions, and will only continue to be the victims of emotions.
The author, researcher and professor of "Aspects of Applied Psychology" put forward in the book: "Remember, action is the forerunner of emotion". This sentence means that you can do something to affect your mood.
Although we can't completely control the appearance or disappearance of these emotions, we can still change their persistence through our own actions. For example:
If you feel depressed, try to sing an exciting song.
If you feel sad, watch a movie that makes you happy.
If you are afraid, you should constantly encourage yourself and go forward bravely.
Inferiority will cultivate a confident attitude.
If you are hesitant, think about your past successful experience.
In a word, the sooner we recover from mood swings, what we need to do is to take positive actions and go forward to make ourselves stronger and stronger in emotional control.
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Rule number two, don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself.
When you are angry, you may have said something like this: "Why is the whole world against me!" "
Frankly, don't take yourself so seriously, because the world doesn't even know who you are. But this is the characteristic of people who can't control their emotions: even trivial things will negatively amplify the overall situation.
Many times, the problems we have to face in life are not the big difficulties of "birth, aging, illness and death", but some problems such as "the eyes despised by others", "the work has not been completed" and "she doesn't seem to love me at all". With the passage of time, these problems will become no longer problems.
Think about it, have the problems you used to worry about seriously affected you now? Maybe you are better off now than before?
Eric Gretans, a former US Navy SEAL, wrote in his book Adaptability:
We should ignore many troubles in life. But this does not mean that we should suppress, ignore or deny the pain. Severe pain requires us to face up to difficulties. A sign of adaptability is to learn to distinguish which pains deserve our attention and which are unnecessary. Paying attention to all the pain can't make us adapt, which often only leads to complaints.
Only by learning to pay attention to those problems that really deserve attention and ignore those that are not so important can we have strong adaptability.
Rule three, don't allow others to control their interpersonal relationships.
In general, our day's mood is often closely related to our interpersonal relationship.
In the process of interacting with people, as long as you get positive feedback, you will get a happy mood. On the contrary, if we get negative feedback, our mood will naturally become very bad.
But a psychologically strong person will not get a good mood by controlling interpersonal relationships. They will not be dragged down by interpersonal relationships, nor will they expect everyone to act according to his ideas.
Those who have a strong desire for control will feel very angry, angry, or sad and lost once they see that the other person has not acted according to their own wishes?
Leo Pascal, a world-famous professor of education, said: "The easiest thing in the world is to be yourself, and the most difficult thing is to be what others expect of you. Never let others interpret you from a certain position. "
Interpersonal relationships are complex and sometimes difficult to control, but it is an effective behavior to control one's own life without being controlled by others.
A person with a strong heart will cherish his relationship with others, and at the same time, he will understand that only by doing his role well and not being subject to the words and deeds of the other party can he create an environment for obtaining good emotions.
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Rule four, don't waste energy on uncontrollable things.
Control what you can control and don't waste too much time dealing with what you can't control. This is an important law of life.
We must understand the difference between "reality" and "problem" in life. "Reality" cannot be controlled or changed by our own will, but "problems" can be solved through our efforts.
For example, people who are introverted and powerful will not be furious in traffic jams, because this is "reality". No matter how we lose our temper, we can't change this situation by our own efforts.
But "get up early to avoid being late for work in traffic jams", we can control this problem and try our best to solve it.
We are often emotional because we feel "powerless" about many things. No matter what we do, we can't change things.
In that case, why not focus on those controllable problems?
Change the things that can be changed and accept the things that cannot be changed. This is the good attitude that introverted and powerful people have.
Rule five, don't let yourself make the same mistake all the time.
It is said that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
Thinking according to logical thinking, we all know that doing the same thing will definitely get the same result. However, many people stubbornly believe that through repeated behavior, different results will be obtained.