Therefore, we learn how to understand the success of others, imitate successful people, and still have no success. We always feel that life is unsatisfactory, we can't meet our own needs, let alone happiness.
The fundamental reason is that we only see the appearance behind the success of the winners, but fail to understand the essence behind the success, that is, the core driving force of the winners, that is, the motivation.
Everyone's motives are different, and we can't imitate them at all.
It is better to disassemble the psychological motivation behind people's behavior than to imitate it.
The book Motivation Psychology mainly tells us the origin of motivation science. Motivation science is constantly developing. Human motivation is driven by biological motivation and psychological motivation. Only by dismantling the psychological motivation behind people's behavior, understanding the importance of motivation, understanding the psychological needs, and finally taking action to achieve the goal and enhance happiness.
They are all doctoral students in social psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and associate professors in the Department of Psychology at the University of Oklahoma.
Edward Berkeley's research direction: motivation and self-regulation, focusing on the role of self in motivation and the compilation of motivation scale.
Melissa Berkeley's research interests: prejudice, stigma, racism and sexism.
They have all published articles in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and made outstanding contributions to psychology. The book "Motivation Psychology" teaches us how to disassemble the psychological motivation behind people's behavior. The more we understand the core driving force behind it and the more we understand people's needs, the easier it is to achieve our goals, and finally gain positive results and enhance happiness.
Driven by human behavior
People's behavior is driven by people's core motivation.
The so-called human core motivation: motivation not only represents what the organism wants, but also represents what the organism wants to survive, grow and develop. These needs are the internal pressure sources that push individuals to achieve specific goals.
Motivation is determined by our internal needs. If we don't know what our needs are, how can we get happiness?
A child knows how to express his needs by crying from birth. When he is hungry, he will cry to remind his mother to feed him. When he stinks, he will cry to remind his mother to change his diaper. When his needs are met, he will stop crying and tell his mother that I am satisfied and happy now.
Our human needs are generally divided into two types:
1. Physiological needs: Some things that human beings need for survival are basic physiological needs, that is, air, clothing, food, shelter, transportation, sleep and so on.
The satisfaction of physiological needs contributes to the balance in our body, and the internal balance system is responsible for regulating our body's demand for water, food, sleep and temperature, which is very important for human motivation and the most basic demand for human survival, but it is not the only demand for human behavior.
2. Psychological needs: other motives besides physiological needs are more complex and higher-order needs.
"Motivation Psychology" mentioned in the book that psychological needs are not necessary for biological survival, but are very important for the improvement of mental health, personal growth and overall happiness, and psychological needs are indispensable.
It is like "psychological fertilizer", which provides us with extra nutrition and makes us rich in spirit and healthy in body and mind.
The core motivation to meet human psychological needs
We are doing a lot of things and encountering many things every day. We seldom analyze what is the core motivation behind doing it.
People's core motivation should lead to goal-oriented behavior aimed at satisfying motivation. Core motivation should inspire a wide range of behaviors and should be applicable to a wide range of environments. It should meet the following three conditions:
1. Motivation
When the baby is hungry, he will cry and ask his mother to feed him, because hunger inspires him to look for food. He can't speak yet, so he can only cry to express his needs.
When we want to be successful and happy, it will inspire us to work hard for success and happiness, and then we will get positive results.
2. Adaptability and benefit.
A girl named Heather Abbott walked to the door of a restaurant to eat and was injured by the explosion. When she woke up, she was covered in blood, and her left foot felt a sharp pain. The blood was terrible. She couldn't stand up and shouted for help.
Luckily, she was saved by a stranger, but her left knee had to be amputated.
After amputation, it means that she has become disabled and lost a leg. In order to maintain her autonomy and independence, she must overcome difficulties and find ways to adapt herself to society, restore her independent life and make her life more meaningful.
The core motivation of this story is that girls have to live independently even if they lose a leg. Only in this way can she adapt to the society, integrate into the collective and do something meaningful to herself, which is adaptive and beneficial.
3. It is universal.
"Universality: refers to the nature that something (especially ideas, systems and laws) is generally applicable to similar objects or things. The universality of things stems from the regularity and regularity of things. Universality corresponds to pertinence. "
When we are hungry, we need to find food to eat to supplement our energy, which shows that animals need food when they are hungry. It is a common phenomenon for people to eat for the sky, and it is also the law of human existence.
Three Important Needs for Improving Happiness
As mentioned in Motivation Psychology, some researchers have found that people can only experience happiness if they are satisfied with their autonomy, ability and sense of belonging.
In a longitudinal study, adults in local communities were divided into four groups, and the results of each group were as follows:
The first group: they can "make their own decisions and choices" in life, with the goal of better meeting their independent needs.
In life, whether we are children or our children, we all want to have the right to choose. Especially in childhood, many parents force their children to choose hobbies that they are not interested in in in order to realize their unfulfilled wishes in childhood.
It makes children unhappy, makes parents unhappy and causes family conflicts. Children do not have the right to make decisions and choices independently, and how can they feel happy without the understanding of their parents.
Experiments show that the more you have the right to make decisions and choose independently, the more happiness you will get.
The second group: they can "feel more efficient and capable" in life, with the goal of better meeting their own ability needs.
At work, we all hope to improve our ability, so we expect a promotion and a raise.
Only by constantly improving our ability can we be more capable of pursuing higher things, so when our ability is improved, we will have a sense of accomplishment and happiness will increase.
The third group: they can "feel the intimate relationship with the important people in their lives", and the goal is to better meet their belonging needs.
In life, the more harmonious the intimate relationship between us and our loved ones, the more we feel a sense of belonging and home.
Family and everything, a happy and harmonious family, the better you get along with the people around you, the happier you are, the stronger your happiness is, and the group with the highest happiness.
The fourth group: aiming at "changing some important situations in life", such as changing living environment and changing appearance.
In life, in order to change our living conditions and make money, many of us have achieved our goals, and the material living conditions are getting better and better, but we still don't feel happy.
This experiment tells us that the goal is not based on the core motivation of the subjects. Even if the goal has made good progress, the happiness has not changed.
The realization of goals is one of its core motivations, and happiness will change. On the contrary, if the goal cannot satisfy one of the three core motivations, we will not be happier.
Write it at the end
When striving to achieve the goals of autonomy, ability and needs, people will experience positive results, indicating that needs are met, which will have a good impact on body and mind.
Only when you meet the needs of autonomy, ability and belonging, and these three needs are met at the same time, the more balanced the satisfaction, the stronger the happiness will be.
The goal is realistic, the results are harvested, the body and mind are satisfied, and the happiness will naturally improve.
In order to be successful and happy, we should learn to disassemble the psychological motives behind people's behavior, and all the motives are behind unsatisfied needs.
When we find a goal that can meet the needs of autonomy, ability and return, we can use behavior to achieve the goal and meet the psychological needs, so as to enhance happiness and harvest a happy life.