"It is said that this boy is a real fighter, but I haven't beaten him. Just a few words of training, his eyes are full of tears. "
"My family is really resistant to playing. I said nothing when the stick was broken. I am worried to death. "
"I envy the mother who adopted her daughter. How sweet the little cotton-padded jacket is. Who knows the sadness of our old mother ... "
As the mother of two boys, I also have mixed feelings. A little careless, the remote control at home was split into eight pieces, the toy I just bought was dismembered by five horses, and clothes and books were rummaged everywhere. ...
The famous family expert Steve Biderfu pointed out:
There is a difference between boys and girls. They are impulsive and adventurous. Development is 6- 12 months later than that of girls of the same age, and boys often enter puberty two years later than girls. At different ages, boys' performance and needs are also different.
If boys want to grow up healthily and happily, parents should update their ideas and pay more attention at these stages.
0-3 years old:
Patience, gentleness and protection.
Carrie Lam Cheng Yuet-ngor is the first female chief executive after the return of Hong Kong, and her two sons both graduated from Cambridge University.
Asked about parenting experience, she said that companionship is the best education. Despite her busy work, she never hired a servant, but left work on time to take care of the children.
Psychologically speaking, children initially contacted the world through their parents. Parental companionship and unconditional love can give children a full sense of security.
For boys, separation is more likely to make them feel anxious, and then emotionally close themselves.
So parents should try to take their children with them. If you can, don't send it to a nursery or nursery before you are three years old.
A famous writer once shared his experience:
His parents are workaholics, and he was sent to the nursery at the age of one and a half. Once he had an appendectomy and was very scared, but his mother chose to work and didn't accompany him. He felt like a desperate orphan.
Parents are the best teachers for children. Before the age of three, if parents are willing to spend more time and patience, read more books to boys, talk to them, explain things and encourage them to express their ideas, it will better promote boys' brain development and improve their skills of intimate communication.
Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard University, said:
"Ten years later, you won't regret missing a project, but you will regret not spending an extra hour with your children."
Children are actually more satisfied than we thought. A pair of warm palms, a strong hug, and a high-quality companionship will all become beautiful memories hidden in their hearts.
When a boy feels loved and accepted, he will gain a sense of security and enjoy a lifetime of nutrition.
4-6 years old:
Use release and encouragement to change "destruction" into "creation"
When the boy reached the age of 4, his testosterone surged, and he became naughty and active, full of interest in fighting, adventure and heroic behavior.
At the same time, their destructive power has also surged, which is also a headache for many parents.
Chopra pointed out in the book "The Unaged Body and Mind" that destruction is the source of creation, and the creation after destruction makes mankind make great strides.
Instead of anxiety and denial, it is better to give the boy a "destroyed" sky, a space for free exploration and creation.
Guo Tao's eldest son, Guo Zirui, was very naughty when he was a child. He once cracked the little toe of his left foot because of fun.
Guo Tao admitted that in order to consume his energy, he exposed his son to many sports and talents, including horseback riding, ice hockey and golf. Guo Zirui also mastered many skills and grew into a warm and responsible big boy.
In "Father's Power", he said that it is very important to raise "stubble" boys, let them climb stairs and roll in the mud, allow them to make mistakes, and make boys "mentally hungry".
At this stage, boys prefer to be with their fathers.
Fathers can show their inner feelings more and teach their sons to know and accept true feelings. Playing rough games with his son can help him develop happiness, establish a sense of rules and help him become a big boy.
At this time, the mother should not rush to "let go" because the boy learned to love from his mother. If the mother makes the boy feel reliable and trustworthy, it will be beneficial to the healthy development of the boy.
Never label children as "you are too naughty" or "you are fooling around" casually, but use blank space and encouragement to turn the boy's "destructive power" into "creativity".
When the boy's energy is released, his adventure is affirmed, which not only exercises his strong physique, but also stimulates his brave and innovative character.
7- 13 years old:
Exercise his ability to do housework.
Not long ago, in the variety show "Teenagers Say", Fu Xuanang, a junior boy, was praised by many netizens for his ability to brush dishes, mop the floor and pick vegetables, which is inseparable from the cultivation of his mother.
Fu Shuo, housework is a part of study and life. Boys have the responsibility and responsibility, and the future will be very happy, and the other half will be happy.
Psychologist Richard Weiss Boulder said:
"Housework can enhance children's empathy and help them respond to the needs of others."
In fact, from the age of 3, parents can encourage boys to participate in simple housework, such as washing socks, sorting books and repairing toy cars.
Doing housework not only exercises boys' fine hand movements, promotes the all-round development and functional integration of brain nerves, but also enables them to realize a sense of accomplishment and learn to care about others, which is of great benefit to future interpersonal communication.
I believe everyone is familiar with the name Liu Xuan. Graduated from Harvard University, the national champion of Beijing Satellite TV's "I am an orator" and the son of famous writer Liu Yong.
He shared his father's positive influence in his growing up, one of which was doing housework. The independent ability cultivated in this process has made many American children feel ashamed, which has given him a lot of confidence.
As the father of two children, Liu Xuan also advised all parents to guide their children to participate in housework, which not only exercised their children's ability to live independently, but also cultivated their ability to solve problems independently and enhanced their ability to cope with emergencies.
At the same time, housework is also an education of love, which enables boys to break the limitation of gender thinking, learn to respect women and manage happiness. Huang Lei, for example, loves the kitchen and dotes on Sun Li and his three children with superb cooking skills. Quiet at home, envious of others.
/kloc-over 0/4 years old:
Continue to love him, but take a step back
When entering adolescence, boys will experience complex emotional changes, even rebellion and conflict, which means that they begin to evolve a brand-new self.
Tang and Jenny Eliou described the characteristics of boys at this stage in their book Raising a Son: energetic; Love thinking, like silence and solitude; My mood is changeable, and I am eager to explore myself in different ways; Facing external things, we will go through the process from negation to affirmation.
What parents should do is to continue to love them, but take a step back to help boys grow into real men.
Give him respect and listen.
"The vitality you see is good vitality, so that there will be creation and progress." If parents can see their children's desires, listen to their demands and give them respect, boys will have a stable heart.
Provide him with an example to learn.
Francis Bacon said: "The power of example is infinite. It carefully gives precious gifts to generations of children to shape their perfect personality. " Parents can introduce excellent life mentors to their children, broaden their horizons, encourage boys to make their own decisions and accumulate experience in taking responsibility.
Teach him what true love is.
As the boy matures, the father can teach his son to distinguish between likes, desires and love, and at the same time guide him to respect women and mothers with his positive words and deeds. Mothers can teach their sons subtle emotions and empathy.
Hold a bar mitzvah for him
When a boy can stick to his principles, have the courage to get up after falling, have the ability not to serve foreign things, and have love for relatives and friends, then his family can hold a ceremony to celebrate his adulthood. And tell him that his parents will still give him constant love for the next road.
I hope every boy can have a loving childhood and a teenager who is understood and supported, and then embrace adulthood confidently and firmly.
I hope they can meet the best people, know the warmest companions and keep their initial courage.
Dear son, we know that you will eventually grow up, experience detours and mistakes, gain persistence and wisdom, and grow into a real man.
You know, as long as you turn around, we will give you a warm hug and firm support, just like before, when you were a teenager.