Common sense topic

On friendship, "People who like loneliness are either animals or immortals". It will be difficult for those who say this to put truth and heresy together in a few words. Because, if a person has a natural and secret hatred and disgust for society, then that person will inevitably have animality, which is extremely true; However, it is extremely untrue to say that such a person actually has any divinity. There is only one exception, that is, when this aversion to society is not out of love for loneliness, but out of a desire to quit society for a higher life; Some of these pagans have pretended to be such people, such as Crete, epimenides, Rome, Nu Masilli, Amphidocles and Tianan apollonius. Many ancient hermits and elders of the Christian church did this. But most people don't quite understand what loneliness is and what the scope of loneliness is. Because there is no "benevolence", a group of people can not be regarded as a group, and many faces are just a series of pictures; And the conversation is just a cymbal to keep quiet. This situation can be described by a Latin idiom: "A big city is a big wilderness"; Because friends are scattered in big cities, generally speaking, there is no friendship like small towns. But we might as well go further and really assert that the lack of true friends is the purest and most pitiful loneliness; Without friendship, the world is just a wilderness; We can also use this meaning to say "loneliness". People who are inherently unworthy of making friends can be said to come from animals rather than humans. One of the main functions of friendship is to vent people's anger and depression, which can be caused by various emotions. We know that occlusion is the most dangerous in the human body; The same is true of the human spirit; You can take Sasha to clear the liver and steel to clear the spleen; Take sulfur to moisten the lungs; Take beaver gum to clear the brain; However, no medicine can communicate with the soul except true friends. For a sincere friend, you can convey your worries, joys, fears, hopes, doubts, warnings and anything that weighs on your heart, just like a confession outside the church. In our opinion, many emperors attach great importance to what we call the bottom effect of friendship. They attach great importance to friendship, but often ignore their own safety and honor. As a king, people can't enjoy friendship because of their distance from their subjects ―― unless they promote someone to the status of companion or peer (in order to enjoy friendship), which is often inconvenient. People like this are called "slaves" or "private" in modern language; It seems that they are in this position only because of the kindness of the Lord or the closeness between the monarch and the minister. But the characters in Rome can be regarded as expressing the real purpose and promotion reasons of such people; In Rome, this kind of person is called Participescurarum "distractor"; Because it is this that can truly achieve such a friendship between the monarch and the minister. We can also see that things like this are not limited to weak and vulnerable monarchs, that is, monarchs who have never been the most wise and resourceful, but also those who often make friends with someone in the liegeman, call them friends, and let others call them friends of the king; The appellation used between monarch and minister is the same as that used between ordinary private people. Sura, when he was a dictator at the end of Rome, raised Pompeii (later called the "great" Pompeii admirer) to such a high position that Pompeii claimed that he was not as good as Sura. Because once Pompeii fought for the position of consul for one of his friends, and ran against the person recommended by Sura and won. When Sura expressed dissatisfaction and began to quarrel, Pompeii simply retorted and told him not to say more, "because there are more people worshipping Asahi than sunset." Caesar has Dessimas? With his great influence, brutus made Caesar regard him as the second heir in his will, second only to Caesar's grandson and nephew. And this man is the one who has the ability to lure Caesar to death. Because Caesar wanted to dissolve the Senate with some ominous omen, especially because of a nightmare in Kelpernia, brutus grabbed his arm and gently pulled him up from his chair, telling him that he hoped Caesar would not dissolve the Senate until Mrs. Caesar had a better dream. In a letter (quoted verbatim in Cicero's attack speech), Anthony called Sima? Brutu was a "devil", as if he had bewitched Caesar with witchcraft, and his deep affection was evident. Although agrippa was born from a humble background, Augustus elevated him to a very high position, so that when Augustus asked Messina about the marriage of his daughter Jiu Liatti, Messina dared to say, "He must marry agrippa, or he must kill agrippa. There is no third way, because he makes Yakipa so great. " On the one hand, in Tiberias, Sianus rose to such a high position that they were called and regarded as a pair of friends. In his letter to Sianus, Tiberias wrote, "I didn't hide these things from you for the sake of our friendship." The whole Senate specially built an altar for friendship (as if friendship were a goddess) to praise their dear friendship. This or a better example can be found in Septi Mias? Serbian Committee? This can be seen from the friendship between Sri Lanka and Prouty in Janas. Because Severus forced his son to marry the daughter of Prouty Janas; And often protect the bullying behavior of Prouti Jaanus; He also wrote a letter to the Senate in these words: "I love him so much that I hope he can die after me." What if these kings are Trajan or Marcus? Orelhas is first-class, so we can think that actions like the above are from a very good heart; However, these kings are very resourceful, strong and strict, and extremely self-loving. However, in this way, they can prove that although their happiness has reached the peak of the world, they are still dissatisfied with it and feel that if there is no friend to make it complete, this happiness will never be complete. What's more, these monarchs have wives, sons and nephews, but these people can't let them have friends. What Canias said about his first master, the Duke's "brave" Charlie was unforgettable, that is, he refused to tell anyone his secret, especially the most embarrassing one. So Camnias went on to say, "When the end of the Duke is coming, this mysterious temperament will inevitably cause a little damage to his reason." In fact, if Kemenias wants, he can make the same judgment on his second master, Louis Xi, because Louis Xi's secrecy is really his own disaster. Pythagoras' maxim is difficult to understand and true; He said, "Don't eat your heart." Indeed; To put it bluntly, a person who has no friends to talk to can be said to be a savage who eats his own heart. One thing is surprising (I say it to end the first effect of friendship), that is, a person venting his love affair to his friends can produce two diametrically opposite results, which can double the joy and halve the sadness. Because no one is happier than telling his friends about his happiness; There is no one who will not reduce his worries by telling his friends. Therefore, in terms of practical function, friendship is as valuable to people as alchemists often say that their gems are to people; According to the magician, this kind of gem can produce various opposing effects, but it is always beneficial to nature. However, even without the help of warlocks, portraits with obvious situations can be seen in ordinary natural phenomena. Because the combination of objects is enough to promote and nourish any natural function, it is also enough to weaken and defeat any violent external attack: the object is like this, and so is the human heart. The second function of friendship is that it can maintain and dominate reason, just as the first function is to protect and dominate feelings. Because friendship makes people emotionally enter the day from the storm, and intellectually make people enter the day from darkness and confusion. This not only refers to the loyal advice one gets from friends; That is, before getting this, anyone who thinks too much in his heart will become clear and different if he can talk and discuss with others; His thoughts and actions will be more flexible; Its arrangement will be more orderly; He can see how these ideas are expressed in words; He has finally become smarter than before, and to achieve this, talking at the end of an hour is more effective than meditating at the end of the day-there is no doubt about it. What Semmis Tula said to the Persian king was completely correct. He said: "words are like tapestries hanging in exhibitions, and the graphics in them are obvious;" Thoughts are like rolled carpets. "The second function of friendship (that is, enlightening the mind) is not limited to those friends who can give advice (of course, they are the best friends). Even if you don't have such friends, you can increase your knowledge through conversation, let your thoughts be clearly expressed, and sharpen your wit, such as sharpening your knife and not cutting wood by mistake. In short, a person, rather than choking his own thoughts, might as well pour everything into statues or pictures. Now, in order to fully illustrate the second function of friendship, let's talk about the obvious point that ordinary people can also notice, that is, the advice of friends. Hera Kritas put it very well in one of his argots, "It is always best to stay dry". There is no doubt that the light one gets from another's nonsense is cleaner and purer than the light he gets from his own understanding and judgment: the light one gets from his own understanding and judgment is always influenced by his feelings and habits. Therefore, the difference between a friend's advice and his own advice is just like the difference between a good friend's advice and flattery. Because no one flatters me more than me; And the art of defending yourself in front of flattery is not even as powerful as that of friends. There are two kinds of rumors: one is about behavior and the other is about career. Speaking of the first, the best preventive medicine to protect people's mental health is the advice of friends. A person's violent remorse is a drug that is sometimes too violent and corrosive. Reading good books and persuading the good can't be boring. Observing your own mistakes in others is sometimes inconsistent with your own situation. The best prescription (the most effective and the easiest to take) is a friend's suggestion. It seems amazing that many people (especially great people) have made huge mistakes because they have no friends to advise them, so that their reputation and situation have been greatly damaged. These people, as St. James said, "sometimes look in the mirror and soon forget what they look like." "When it comes to career, one may feel completely blind; Or think that insiders always see more than bystanders; Or think that an angry person is as smart as a person who silently counts 24 letters; Or think that an old musket is as effective on the arm as it is on the gun rack; He can have many such foolish and proud delusions that he is enough. However, all the things that can put your career on the right track are good suggestions. Also, if someone wants to adopt other people's suggestions and is willing to adopt them piecemeal, then ask one person one thing and another (that is, it is better than asking nothing); But he risked two dangers; First, he won't get faithful advice; Because what you say must come from a completely sincere friend, otherwise very few people are not wronged and tend to talk about others' egoism. Another danger is that his suggestion will be a harmful and unsafe statement (although it is well-intentioned), half of which will lead to disaster, and the other half will be to alleviate or prevent disaster; For example, if you are sick, see a doctor. This doctor is considered to be good at treating your illness, but he is not familiar with your physique. Therefore, he may be able to make you recover from your current illness, on the other hand, it will endanger your health; The result is to cure diseases and kill patients. Friends who are fully familiar with your professional situation are not. He will be careful not to make you suddenly hit in other ways by promoting your current career. So it is best not to rely on piecemeal suggestions; They may disturb and mislead the bottom, instead of stabilizing and guiding the bottom. After the two noble effects of friendship (peace of mind and intellectual assistance), there is one last effect: this effect is like a pomegranate. This sentence means that friends help and participate in a person's behaviors and needs. At this point, if we want to show the various uses of friendship clearly and vividly, the best way is to calculate and see how many things a person can't do by himself: after this calculation, we can see that the ancients said that "a friend is another person" is not enough compared with the facts; Because friends are much more useful than people. Life is limited, and many people die before reaching their greatest wishes, such as children's marriage and the completion of work. If a person has a true friend, then he can rest assured that these events will still be dealt with after his death. In this way, a person has two lives in the process of realizing his wishes. A person has a body, which is confined to one place; But if he has friends, then all the major events in life can be regarded as being handled by someone. Even where he can't go by himself, his friends can represent him. Also, how many things a person can't say or do for personal reasons! A person can't bear the credit without boasting, let alone praising his achievements; Sometimes you can't bow your head and ask for something; There are many such things. But these words are embarrassing to say in your own mouth, but it is good to say them in a friend's mouth. Such a person still has many identity relationships that he can't abandon. For example, when a person is talking to his son, he can't help but keep his father's identity; You can't talk to your wife without keeping your husband's identity; You can't talk to your enemies without worrying about your dignity: but a friend can talk about things without worrying about people. Such things are listed one by one and endless; Most importantly, if a person can't do something well, I have made a rule for him, that is, if he has no friends, then he has only one way to "step down".