Psychologically, this bad habit is called degenerative problem behavior, which is caused by various psychological problems or obstacles. In this way, it will have a bad influence on children's psychology, especially their personality, and it is easy to form bad personality qualities such as depression, weak will, narrow-mindedness and cowardice, which is not conducive to children's physical and mental health.
Common bad behaviors in childhood include selfishness, willfulness, lying and stealing. Bad habits include: sucking fingers, biting nails, stuttering and partial eclipse.
These bad behaviors and habits seriously hinder the healthy development of children's body and mind and the formation of good moral character, and also bring troubles to families and others. Let's analyze the performance, causes and correction methods of these bad behavior habits in detail.
There is a boy named Yan Yan, who is very headstrong. "I don't want it, I don't want it, I just don't want it!" It's raining, no matter how her mother tries to persuade her, Yan Yan just refuses to take rain gear out to play, which is his consistent character.
And Sunday was originally a happy day. Yan Yan's little cousin Guo Guo won a prize in the regional children's painting, which was his eighth birthday. Mom and dad took Yan Yan to congratulate them, and also gave my cousin a box of beautifully decorated brushes. Unexpectedly, this made Yan Yan very jealous and insisted that her mother buy him a box of the same brush immediately, otherwise she wouldn't eat it. Yan Yan's willfulness made her mother very unhappy.
The reason of willfulness
The specific reason for children's waywardness is that they are too fond of children, even spoiled and obedient.
Children's wayward temper is mostly due to the usual family education, especially the parents of grandparents. Because most of them are only children now, parents always treat their children as treasures, try their best to meet their various requirements, always stay with their children and do everything for them. As a result, it developed beyond the control of adults.
Willfulness is a common moral problem behavior of children. Wayward children lack self-discipline, so they should follow their own wishes. If they can't, they should resist or resist the demands of adults. Faced with such children, parents should stop protecting them and give them psychological development education immediately.
How to correct willfulness
First of all, we must be strict with children's wayward behavior. Some parents don't pay due attention to their children's willfulness. They think that children's willfulness has little to do with it, and some even think that this is a smart performance, so they don't have to suffer outside. You know this attitude is very dangerous. Some wayward children turn a deaf ear to their parents' education and persuasion from childhood to adolescence, or even ignore their parents completely.
To prevent children from being too headstrong, we must avoid doting. Parents' doting is a hotbed of children's willful psychology and behavior development. In daily life, in order to prevent and correct children's willful psychology and behavior, parents should treat their children's various requirements as follows: first, grasp the principles and strictly distinguish between reasonable requirements and unreasonable requirements; Second, we must grasp the sense of proportion, even if it is reasonable or just, we should meet it moderately according to the actual situation at that time and avoid obedience.
Children should be disciplined consistently. The emergence and development of children's wayward psychology is often based on the use of parents' weaknesses. Usually in the process of communicating with parents, children are also testing their parents and understanding their weaknesses. Most children can feel the subtle interpersonal relationships in the family when they are about 4 years old, such as whether the father is in charge or the mother is in charge, who should buy toys, who should ask for forgiveness when they make mistakes, and so on.
In the face of children's willfulness, we should deal with it calmly. Some strategies should be adopted to educate wayward children. When a child is willful and crying, adults should not respond immediately, but should adopt an indifferent or indifferent attitude. The correct way is to ignore the child's wayward behavior when it happens, and not to make any intensified response. Instead, turn around and ignore him, or leave the child outside the room and let him attack there alone until he finds that his wayward performance doesn't work and he is bored or bored.
"These colored balls are mine. They are all mine. I brought it first. No one can move! " Four-year-old chenchen shouted while desperately protecting the colorful balls in front of her with her hands and arms.
"I also want to play. I want to take some pictures. " Really stand by and say.
"no! You can't play, I want all the colored balls, and you can't take any! " Chenchen blushed in the morning.
"What's the matter?" The teacher came over, pushed Chen Chen's arm to protect the colored ball and whispered, "Good morning, such a colorful ball, to the truth."
"Don't give it to him!" Chen Chen cried, "These are all mine!"
The teacher was angry, but there was nothing he could do.
Selfish reasons
Selfishness is a common problem behavior of young children. In addition to the most direct characteristics of "refusing to give food to others" and "refusing to lend toys or school supplies to others", selfish children have the following main characteristics: selfish and possessive, not only want to protect their own things, but also often rob and take away things that do not belong to them; Serious individualism, lack of sympathy and collective consciousness; Narrow-minded, enterprising, haggle over every ounce, love to talk about conditions; Unsociable, withdrawn, withdrawn, suspicious, etc.
The reason why children are selfish is because of the particularity of being an only child. Because he is the only child in the family, he combines the love of his parents and even monopolizes their whole body and mind. If the environment around you is not good, children's selfishness is more likely to happen.
Don't underestimate the selfish behavior of children, you should know that selfishness is the root of all evil. If children's selfish psychology is allowed to develop, then when they grow up, they will care about personal gains and losses, harm the interests of others, enrich public interests, and ignore public morality, and abuse power for personal gain, frame others and take risks. Therefore, children's selfish psychology and behavior must be corrected in time.
Correctly correct selfish behavior
If you want to correct your child's selfish behavior, don't indulge your child blindly. Children's selfishness is mainly acquired, and the root of selfishness comes from family doting and doting. As the saying goes, "He who unties the bell must tie it". Therefore, the key to overcoming selfishness is to eliminate the phenomenon of parents' over-support, over-protection and "obedience" to their children.
Parents' exemplary behavior has the most direct and lasting influence on children, so parents' primary task is to set an example for their children to learn and imitate. In daily life, parents should first put others before themselves, be helpful, and educate and influence their children with practical actions. If you buy delicious food at home and give it to your elders first, you are willing to lend your beloved things to your friends, take the initiative to help your neighbors solve their life difficulties or educate your children with relevant examples in movies, TV, fairy tales, stories and other works.
Cosette went out and soon came back with a beautiful sticker with the image of "Spider-Man" that fascinated the children.
"Keke, where did you get the sticker?" Mother cut in because she knew that the child had just gone out without anything.
"That's ... it's ... Meimei gave it to me." Cosette cosette's eyes flashed a subtle panic.
"You can't just ask for other people's things," his mother deliberately inspired him. "Good boy, tell his mother ..."
"I picked it up on the ground." Cosette cosette said.
"Give what you found to the teacher. When you go to kindergarten tomorrow, you should give it to the teacher in front of your mother. " Mother continued to test him.
"no! Mom ... I am ... "Cosette was even sadder.
What the hell is going on? It turns out that Keke just bought it in a nearby shop. She lied because her mother wouldn't let her spend money recklessly.
The reason for lying
Some children lie in order to get the attention of friends and adults, mix some funny words with lies, or create some strange words to attract attention, and some vividly tell what they seem to have really experienced personally. This situation is more common in children who have no friends, or whose parents are not concerned enough, are not noticed in the group, and lack realism.
Some parents are very strict with their children. As long as they find that they have done something wrong, they will give him a good beating. Even if the child admits the mistake, the mistake itself cannot be forgiven. So the next time a child does something wrong, he will be very scared and have to make it up or hide it in an attempt to deceive him.
Adults are very sensitive to children's lies. Lying is usually regarded as the worst and most intolerable behavior. It is often heard that some parents are saying that their children have learned to lie and fabricate lies to deceive people since childhood. It's really worrying. So, in the face of lying children. Adults and teachers should behave correctly. Let children get inspiration from it, thus helping to get rid of the bad behavior of lying.
How to make children get rid of the habit of lying?
To correct children's psychology of lying, we must first encourage them to realize their mistakes. Experience tells us that if children do something wrong, they are often afraid to admit it for fear of punishment. Parents should encourage their children to admit their mistakes bravely, so that they will feel that they will not be punished.
No matter how big his fault is, as long as he tells the truth, he should forgive him, and don't bring up the past easily in the future, so that the child's fear can be eliminated.
Parents should understand that corporal punishment cannot educate their children to be honest, let alone correct them to lie. Because under the threat of intimidation, scolding and sticks, children feel that telling the truth will be punished, so they have to use lies as a weapon to "defend themselves." In this sense, children are forced to lie by adults.
It is also very important to further correct children's lying psychology and influence them with love and harmony. For example, whether the family relationship and the teacher-student relationship are harmonious also plays a great role in cultivating children's honest quality and preventing children from lying.
"Teacher, Xiaoyu took my beautiful pencil case away!" Qi Jia complained to the teacher.
"Is it true?" The teacher decided to investigate the truth.
But when the teacher asked Xiaoyu, he held the schoolbag tightly in his arms and denied it: "I didn't take it!" " "
"Then let me see what's in your bag, will you?" The teacher said gently.
"no! I didn't take it, there is nothing in the bag. " Xiaoyu tried her best to maintain her schoolbag and held it tighter.
When the teacher tried his best to open the schoolbag, a beautiful pencil-box was pulled out.
Xiaoyu cried.
Reasons for theft
What causes children to steal? Our first thought should be the child's strong possessiveness. Possession makes some children have a strong love for an object, but this strong psychological need can not be met by proper means. For example, when you see that others have enviable new toys or other items, your desire to ask others for them is rejected, and your parents can't meet their own requirements, you take this unacceptable means to achieve psychological satisfaction.
The bad behavior of children stealing is caused by strong possessiveness. It is essentially an immoral problem behavior. If you don't get early and correct education. It is easy for children to take the illegal road.
However, in real life, we should treat children's stealing correctly and distinguish whether children realize that their behavior is stealing. Because. When a child occasionally takes something that doesn't belong to him. It can't be arbitrarily said that this is theft. Nor can it be regarded as a question of moral quality.
How to control theft?
Children's moral knowledge and judgment ability are gradually formed with the growth of age and psychological development, so the education of children's stealing behavior should focus on making him understand why his behavior is wrong.
Parents' positive education should start with asking their children, "Why did you steal from others?" If it is because "that thing is fun and you don't have it, parents can teach their children how to get what they want through proper channels."
If it is because "others stole my things", parents can guide him to analyze: What would social life be like if everyone retaliated against each other and stole other people's things?
If the child "doesn't feel bad", parents can urge him to stand in the position of the stolen person and consider his own behavior, so as to know why his behavior is bad and should be condemned.
On this basis, parents can put forward some specific moral requirements for their children according to their psychological characteristics and urge them to follow them. This kind of education is usually acceptable to children.
Another point is to induce children's guilt. This method is to let the children know the bad influence of their theft on the victims, and through sympathy for the victims' situation, let the children feel guilty and find their conscience, so as to actively correct their mistakes.
There is a boy named Zhuang Zhuang, who is over 6 years old and often sucks his thumb with relish. Whether listening to stories or playing games, he just puts his thumb in his mouth empty-handed and sucks like a lollipop, especially when he sleeps at night.
His thumb is often soaked in saliva, his skin is wrinkled, his knuckles are covered with thick cocoons, and his sucking wound is inflamed. Whenever he puts his thumb in his mouth, his face will show a carefree and happy expression.
Bad causes of thumb sucking
Thumb sucking has a psychological effect on some children. These children often seek a kind of "baby-like happiness" by sucking their thumbs, for example, to relieve their emotional discomfort or loneliness, boredom or fear, and use this behavior to comfort themselves in infancy.
In order to correct the problem behavior of children sucking their thumbs, we must find the psychological crux of children and take appropriate psychological treatment. We can't rush things.
Thumb sucking, first of all, is the derivative action of the instinctive behavior of babies sucking their mother's nipples and sucking milk. Parents should pay attention to the way of education and have a kind attitude towards this kind of behavior. Be patient with your child's possible repeated performance, and don't yell, intimidate, insult or laugh at your child.
How to get rid of the habit of sucking your thumb
If you want to completely get rid of the bad habit of sucking your thumb, you must meet your child's need to be loved and paid attention to, so that your child can feel safe, satisfied and happy. For example, exchange feelings with children and make skin contact; Often play games with children and take them to play; Give your child warmth before going to bed and let him fall asleep happily and peacefully.
Before taking your child to a new and unfamiliar environment, you should pay attention to introducing the relevant situation to your child in advance and explaining the relevant precautions so that your child can be psychologically prepared.
Another effective way is to keep your hands idle. Children who have the habit of sucking their thumbs will put their thumbs in their mouths once their hands are free. Therefore, in the early stage of correction, we can consciously provide more suitable toys and places for children, guide them to do more suitable manual activities, or encourage them to play with children as much as possible, so that his hands have no idle opportunities.
For children who love to suck their thumbs, we should strengthen the correct educational methods. When correcting children, parents should pay attention to the way of education, have a kind attitude, be patient with the possible repetition of children, and don't shout, threaten or abuse. When children make progress in the process of correction, they should be praised and encouraged in time to strengthen correct behavior.
In class, the teacher said, "Yao Yao, stand up and answer this question!" " "After a silence, Yao Yao blushed and stood up in a panic.
The teacher looked at him kindly and advised him not to worry, think slowly, and then talk. Who knows Yao Yao involuntarily put his finger in his mouth and bit his nails.
It's warm outside, and a dozen children are lining up to play group skipping. Only Yao Yao stood by, watching everyone play, biting his fingernails.
Reasons for biting nails
Nail biting is an annoying and unsanitary habit, and parents are extremely disgusted with it. Some parents often reprimand their children for this and even take various punishment measures. But the result is often counterproductive, and the bad behavior of children biting their nails is getting more and more serious, which makes parents have a headache and anxiety.
This is because these parents don't understand why their children bite their nails and fail to "prescribe the right medicine". The behavior of children biting their nails often develops from the action of sucking their thumbs, and children who like biting their nails often have the habit of sucking their thumbs. The psychological reason of children biting their nails is similar to sucking their thumbs: it is a way to vent their inner tension and get rid of loneliness and boredom.
Therefore, to correct the problem behavior of children biting their nails, we must accurately grasp its internal psychological reasons and prescribe the right medicine. For details, please refer to the related contents in "Thumb Suction".
A girl named Ying Ge, on a holiday, went to the suburbs to play and forgot her way when she came back. There happened to be a passing aunt coming from the opposite side. She wanted to say "Auntie, do you know how to get to Beiyuan", but because of stuttering, she finally said "Auntie, do you know how to get to North?"
"I don't know, don't you face north? What a child. " Aunt said angrily and left.
Ying Ge stood alone in the middle of the road, embarrassed and annoyed.
Causes of stuttering
Stuttering is a language barrier for three main reasons. Physiologically speaking, children's stuttering is related to some kind of brain dysfunction, especially the defect of language nerve endings. It may also be a nervous system disorder closely related to pronunciation, language understanding and even reading and writing. In addition, children suffering from brain infections, oral injuries and infectious diseases such as whooping cough, measles, flu and scarlet fever are also prone to stuttering.
The negative psychological influence of childhood is the main reason for children's stuttering. A large number of facts show that children's stuttering is the result of fear, anxiety and anger caused by fright, severe reprimand or punishment, sudden change of environment, disharmony of family relations, psychological atmosphere and other factors.
One of children's psychological characteristics is strong imitation. Some children think stuttering is very interesting. Out of curiosity and playfulness, they deliberately imitate the language of stutterers, resulting in their own language stuttering habits.
Stuttering, commonly known as stuttering, is a common language barrier for children. According to statistics. About 10% children stutter, and boys are 2~4 times more than girls. However, 50% ~ 80% of stuttering children will heal themselves, and stuttering rarely occurs after 9 years old, and only less than 1% continues to youth or adulthood.
How to correct stuttering
Children who stutter are often prone to form bad psychological barriers, such as avoiding group activities, being silent, withdrawn, shy, timid and inferior. And sometimes easily excited, emotionally unstable, sensitive, fearful and anxious, all of which affect children's communication with others and bring certain difficulties to their future study and life.
There are four simple steps to correct stuttering. The first step is moral support. Arrange a stuttering environment for the child, and then the therapist immediately imitates his stuttering and explains to him that this is not to laugh at him, but to make him feel stuttering.
The second step is to understand the factors related to stuttering, such as under what circumstances and emotions children are prone to stuttering, what are the usual manifestations of stuttering, and how people react to children's stuttering. Then try to reduce or avoid these unfavorable factors.
The third step is systematic desensitization therapy. Arrange stuttering children to practice speaking in the natural environment and at different levels of fear. For example, talk to acquaintances and friends first, and then talk to strangers gradually. Encourage him to answer and convince him to answer well.
Finally, the negative adjoint effect is corrected by positive reinforcement method. Parents can train their children in some simple ways at home. For example, teaching children to speak by singing and training their sense of rhythm and strength. For children who are already literate, let them read aloud word by word when reading words, and so on.
There is a girl with a partial eclipse, only 5 years old. Her parents are in business and have a well-off family. But parents are busy doing business all day, so they can't take care of their homes, so the girl is taken care of by her grandmother from an early age.
Grandma is afraid that her granddaughter can't eat breast milk, which will affect her development, so she tries her best to cook something for her. I heard that prawns are nutritious. Grandma asked her son to buy a bag every week and put it in the refrigerator, so that her granddaughter could eat prawns at every meal.
Sometimes grandma says "prawns are nutritious and healthy" while feeding her granddaughter and advises her to eat more. After a long time, my granddaughter will get into the habit of not eating shrimp and cry.
The cause of partial eclipse
Many children's partial eclipse habits are influenced by their parents' bad habits. Some parents often say that this is delicious and that is not delicious in front of their children, and children will follow suit and say that they love this but not that. Some parents seldom or never buy certain foods because they don't like them, and even show disgust when they see others eating them. All these may cause children's partial eclipse.
Some parents wholeheartedly expect their children to grow strong, and always try to buy some nutritious meat for their children, almost every meal. Over time, children refused to eat anything without this meat.
Partial eclipse is commonly known as picky eaters, that is, there is no restraint on the food you like. Refuse all the food you don't like. Children over 3 years old are prone to partial eclipse. Mainly because people's tastes began to differentiate during this period. I have a special preference for some foods that I often eat, but I lack experience in foods that I eat less or add for my physical development. So it is caused by the psychology of refusing to accept.
How to correct children's partial eclipse
Proper skills are needed to correct children's partial eclipse behavior. As the saying goes, "Hungry for food". Hunger will increase children's demand for food. As long as the child is really hungry, he can eat food that he usually doesn't even look at. Therefore, hunger therapy is effective for treating children's partial eclipse habits.
Generally, there are two ways: first, when children refuse to eat because they don't have any favorite food, adults will let them go without mercy, and at the same time, adults themselves should eat with relish in front of children, pack up the food after eating, as if nothing had happened, and then let them eat the original food until the child cries that he is hungry.
The second is to increase children's activities through games, outdoor sports and travel. Make them feel hungry.
With the method of systematic desensitization, children can gradually get used to the taste of some foods they don't like, and then gradually transition to eating a little until they can eat normally.
Improving the diet environment can also treat children's partial eclipse well. Children seldom have a partial eclipse when eating together, not only because children are talking and laughing together, but also because eating alone is more interesting. When children who don't eat vegetables occasionally eat a little vegetables, they should immediately praise and encourage them.