How much love do parents have? On February 2, 20 14, the family emotional drama "Parents' Love" premiered in CCTV, but it did not cause much response at that time. Until recent years, this drama has not only been broadcast by David in China, but also moved to more than 60 countries and regions overseas. In 20 18, "Parents' Love" won the 24th "Shanghai Magnolia" International Communication Award, and the domestic douban score was as high as 9.5, far ahead of similar TV series.
"Parents' Love" tells the story of Jiang Defu, an officer, stumbling into the city and helping each other after she got married with Miss Anjie, a capitalist. This family drama with a great sense of the times is not only sought after by the older generation audience, but also loved by many young people. Jiang Defu, the hero, and Angie have been married hand in hand for an enviable 50 years. Perhaps this is what Mr. Mu Xin called "once slow":
"In the past, the days became slow, and cars, horses and postal services were slow. I have only loved one person in my life. "
It is worth mentioning that this marriage that made Jiang Defu immersed in happiness is actually the second marriage. After experiencing the wrong feelings for the first time in his life, Jiang Defu was glad to find the love that accompanied him all his life. However, Mrding, who had a similar background to Jiang De's second marriage, had a completely different marriage trend from Jiang Defu. Jiang Dehai got love and a happy life, while Mrding, with similar conditions and even higher education level, had to make do and his life ended hastily.
Jiang Defu and Mrding are both mud legs, and their cultural level is not high. They should have lived an ordinary life like ordinary people. When it was time to get married and have children, Jiang Defu married an ordinary rural woman, Zhang Guilan. The simple combination of two people is not based on love. Their marriage is not so much because of love as because of the need to get married. When Jiang Defu was a soldier, Zhang Guilan cheated his second brother Jiang Defu, so he chose a divorce without hesitation. This marriage did not bring him any special feelings. If so, it is a man's wounded self-esteem.
As a good friend of Jiang Defu, Mrding's past has no superfluous brilliance. He was asked to marry by his parents, but in desperation he married an illiterate rural woman, Wang Xiue. This woman is not only uneducated, but also full of dirty words, loud voice and gossiping. Mrding, who has a high heart, especially despises this woman, and has no * * * language at all, so she doesn't feel up to the table. Mrding didn't want to talk about her in front of outsiders, but this vulgar wife gave birth to four sons for him. Finally, she died in childbirth when giving birth to her fourth son, so Mrding became a widower.
Two middle-aged men became bachelors in this way. You can't live forever. Soon, I took a fancy to Mr. Ge, who is well-read in poetry, excellent in temperament and outstanding in appearance. Teacher Ge was also interested, so they talked about love, even to the point of talking about marriage. Teacher Ge is an ideal type and her spiritual companion. Mrding is very satisfied with her. He couldn't wait to apply to his superiors to marry Mr. Ge, but his superiors refused to approve Mrding's marriage on the grounds that Mr. Ge's composition was not good.
On the other side, Jiang Defu is also facing such a problem. Angie is Miss Jiao of the capitalist, and her desire for love is anna karenine's. An insignificant dance brought Jiang Defu into her life. In the 1950s, marriage autonomy and freedom of love were so vulnerable to the mainstream values-the theory of class composition. Angie's brother and sister heard the news, but thought that "it should be a happy event to find revolutionary comrades to go home and cheer up."
Therefore, in a sense, Angie was sent to Jiang Defu by his family. A young lady born in capitalism will naturally despise Jiang Defu who was born in mud legs. However, since ancient times, beauty has been matched with heroes. With the advantages of gender and class, Jiang Defu easily defeated Anjie who worked alone. In this process, Angie has no choice or love. She just obeyed her fate and had to.
Because Anjie was a capitalist's young lady, marrying her at that time was not only not helpful to her career, but a burden. But Jiang Defu just took a fancy to Angie. When Jiang Defu knew that Angie would marry him even if he went home to farm, he felt that he had met the happiness of his life. Even if no one dares to match him with Angie, he will never give up until the last moment, above his superiors and willing to give up his future. He will marry Angie! With firm determination, Jiang Defu won the beauty pageant.
But what about Mrding? Because of the opposition of the superior leader, I gave up my love with Mr. Ge without any rebuttal. He didn't have the courage of Jiang Defu to give up his future and marry the person he loved, so his marriage was left to make do. To some extent, Mrding's marriage tragedy was caused by himself. He looked back and forth, but there was no responsibility and determination that a man should have.
There are two kinds of men in parents' love. One is someone who looks forward to love and is willing to give everything for it, such as Jiang Defu. The other is looking forward to love, but this expectation is idealistic and cautious. The best thing is that I don't have to fight for it, and I don't have to tailor it for me, such as Mrding. Mrding doesn't have Jiang Defu's courage to take risks. He hopes that fate will come naturally, but happiness has no long legs and can come by itself.
After Mrding gave up Mr. Ge, Jiang Defu asked him why he didn't fight for it. Mrding said, "How to fight for it? I have parents to support and I have four sons to support. What should I do when I go home? " Several brief conversations revealed Mrding's helplessness. He has his own difficulties and dare not lose his job. Too much worry doomed him to fail to follow his inner choice. He had to sacrifice his personal happiness for family reasons.
Zhang Ailing once said: "A middle-aged person often feels lonely, because when he wakes up, he is surrounded by people who depend on him, but there is no one to rely on." This is the reality faced by Mrding and the present situation of most people. After Jiang Defu's divorce, his parents died, so he could pursue the love he longed for without hesitation, but Mrding could not. He can't abandon everything to pursue love, he can only compromise.
In the end, Mrding chose to make do. He married Jiang Defu's sister Jiang Dehua, a woman similar to his ex-wife, an uneducated rural woman. I'm afraid this woman is the last person Mrding wants to marry. When he first came to the island, Angie deliberately set him up with Jiang Dehua. However, Lao Ding politely refused and had no intention to continue.
I took a fancy to the teacher Ge and later the military doctor Wu. However, after their relationship broke down one after another, Mrding once watched Dehua finish washing clothes at home, paused and proposed to Dehua. There are impulsive elements and a make-do mentality. There are no women at home, and Dehua is actually the most suitable person to get married and be a wife. She is diligent and kind, and can keep Mrding's house in order.
Mrding has the desire to pursue beautiful things, but in reality there is no poetry and distance, only pots and pans, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar. What Mrding needs most is someone who can help him solve practical problems. At this moment, Dehua just stood there, so he chose Dehua. Mrding chose Jiang Dehua not because of her feelings, but because she met her real needs.
In middle age, there are too many people who can't help themselves. For the sake of family, for the sake of being a man's responsibility, I may have to endure for a lifetime, which may be the sorrow of middle-aged men. But from another angle, Mrding also has his own happiness. His parents are still alive, accompanying his children. Compared with illusory love, this life is closer to reality.
Jiang Dehua raised five children for her brother, and everyone forgot her gender. "Aunt" is her name and identity. It was not until the widowed Mrding came to the island that people around her realized that Jiang Dehua was not only an "aunt", but also a woman. She also needs the love of men and the happiness of her family. However, Mrding doesn't love her. On the contrary, she is Sister An, who became the "Bai Yueguang" in Lao Ding's heart.
Jiang Defu married Angie and lived next door to Mrding's house. Mrding looked at Anjie, who was elegant and generous all day, and his heart was always "unsatisfied". He envied Jiang Defu, who had a lower education level than himself, for marrying a woman like Angie, and unconsciously he had some different feelings for Angie. His first wife, Wang Xiue, saw this feeling, and so did Jiang Defu, but what can be done?
Later, after Wang Xiue's death, she fell in love with Mr. Ge and later military doctor Wu, who were similar to Anjie. At that time, the standard of choice was still men. Women who are classified into the bottom by the theory of class composition, such as An Jie and Ge Xiamei, are more likely to be favored by men. These intellectual women are scarce resources compared with the majority of professional women, and their possession of scarce resources has become a symbol of male success.
From Mrding's initial envy of Jiang Defu's marrying Anjie to other men's eagerness for intellectual women in his works, it seems that it can only be explained by Lacan's mirror theory. Women are often regarded as mirrors that reflect men's personal desires and bring men a sense of accomplishment.
Father's Love portrays traditional rural women, of which Jiang Dehua is the representative. Compared with Angie's delicacy, she was short and healthy, with a loud voice, but she had a sense of class superiority at that time. Her rejection of Anjie is not simply "menstruation's trouble", but an attempt to complete the class transformation of girls in this city.
Angie, after marriage, has been tirelessly fighting the rural living habits and backward customs represented by Jiang Defu and Jiang Dehua, while Jiang Defu only said: "It is not a man's performance to dispute with a shrew." Because he knew that when Angie took the children, gave up her job and came to the island to find him, Angie had taken the initiative to step into the normal state of being a good wife and mother.
After learning that Angie's composition influenced her brother's career, she subconsciously regarded herself as the spokesman of the male family and shouted: "This surname is Jiang, not An, you have to go!" Angie is not angry, but she feels guilty and grateful to Jiang Defu. The value standard of male society has long existed objectively in An Jie's unconsciousness. She married Jiang Defu not because of love, but because she had no choice.
Under that special background, how much love does the marriage between Jiang Defu and Anjie, Lao Ding and Jiang Dehua have in the love of parents?
Jiang Defu got a beautiful woman back, which seems to be a happy love and marriage, but did Angie marry Jiang Defu because she was grateful? Or is it because of love?
Mrding thought that he didn't lose Jiang Defu, but he didn't get married like Jiang Defu, which may be his lifelong regret. But Mrding married Jiang Dehua, and that's it? From Jiang Dehua's point of view, why didn't she find the happiness she wanted after marrying Mrding? In fact, marriage in Mrding is more practical. In the marriage of most people in real life, there are few wishful comparisons or unequal love, but everything is just right when the door is right.
End.