What kind of family is a healthy family?

A family with fun is a healthy family ■ Zeng Qifeng's Family, No.7 Family Parent-child Mental Health Sociologists believe that the family is the basic unit of society. Economists believe that the family is the basic unit of production and consumption. Psychologists believe that the family should be the basic entertainment unit, that is to say, the most basic feature that a healthy family should have is fun. It is almost certain that unhappy families are prone to have patients, or patients with mental diseases, or patients with physical diseases; On the other hand, if the family is interesting, the possibility of big problems among family members will be greatly reduced. In fact, psychological factors play an extremely important role in the occurrence and development of many physical diseases. In today's increasingly fierce social competition and increasing psychological pressure, if the family entertainment function is not complete, if we can't use the fun at home to deal with the unhappiness of the outside world, it will become a matter of time before problems arise. The following example is very illustrative. For some time, many consultants who come to my consulting room have a common feature, that is, one or even several important members of the family are teachers. No, I was wondering what was behind this phenomenon, and another such consultant appeared. At 2 o'clock that afternoon, the door of the consulting room was knocked. I think the appointment consultant is here. Unexpectedly, two people opened the door, one was a man of about 50 years old and the other was a teenage girl. They are father and daughter. I motioned for father and daughter to sit down. After introducing myself briefly, I asked, "What can I do for you? Father and daughter introduced their respective family situations: father Mr. Zhou is the director of a key government department, mother Ms. Wu is one of the best middle school physics teachers in the city, and daughter is a middle school student; Mr. Zhou is very busy at work, and his mother is responsible for most of his life and study. When Joline was in junior high school, he entered the middle school where his mother taught, and he lived with his mother day and night. Since the second day of junior high school, she has had physical and psychological problems, such as loss of appetite, weight gain, inability to sleep at night, poor memory, fatigue all day, difficulty in concentrating on her studies and a sharp decline in her grades. Parents and teachers tried many ways to get along with her, but it didn't work. Joline watched the other students pass her one by one, and she often had tears in her eyes. After the headmaster knew this situation, I asked Mr. Zhou to describe the life of their family of three. Teacher Zhou said, "From Monday to Friday, we go to school and go to work in the morning. In the evening, my wife and I sometimes watch TV, sometimes do unfinished work during the day, and Joline does her homework. One night, it seemed that everyone passed without saying a few words. I sometimes take Joline shopping on weekends, but most of the time Joline reads books at home. Her mother and I do some housework and get something nutritious to make up for Joline. "I asked Joline to describe school life. Joline said, "Most aspects are the same as my classmates, but the difference is that my mother is a teacher in our school. My mother often asks the relevant teachers about me. She knows everything I do in class, but only the good things. If she knows those bad things, she will definitely talk about me for a long time when she comes home, saying that teachers' children should pay more attention to influence and set more examples. I get annoyed sometimes, but most of the time I think my mother is doing it for me. "As soon as I learned about the above situation, the first consultation time was over. I asked them to bring a family of three together next time. Mr. Zhou and his daughter agreed. Three days later, Mr. Zhou's family of three arrived as scheduled. Specially greeted Ms. Wu who met for the first time. Her performance reminds me of a strict female teacher in middle school. They all make people feel oppressive. I immediately realized that Joline also felt the pressure from her mother, and she felt it every day. I asked Ms. Wu, "What do you think of her present situation? "Teacher Wu speaks eloquently, and the content and form are the same as the teacher's comments on students written on white paper, without any mother-daughter color. I turned to Miss Zhou and asked, "What's the difference between your feelings at work and at home?" Mr. Zhou replied: "Not much difference. I often can't put things from work at home. In addition, the feeling of being alive should be very dull. " I asked Joline again, "What do you think is the difference between mom at home and school?" Joline said without thinking, "It makes no difference. All like teachers. " I glanced at Ms. Wu and found that she was a little embarrassed. After a short silence, I asked Ms. Wu, "What do you think of your daughter's answer?" Ms. Wu sighed and said, "She's right, but I can't help it." Then, I asked the three of them, "Who laughs the most and who laughs the least at home? "After three minutes, the answer came out: Joline laughed the most, mostly when talking to classmates or watching TV; Ms. Wu laughs the least, and she doesn't see many smiles in a week.