You can often meet some such leaders in society. They have leadership ability and good leadership quality, and they also have high prestige among their subordinates. Colleagues can get along well, but they can't handle the relationship with their superiors well. In addition to the reasons of superiors, if you find faults from yourself, improper role behavior is also a very prominent reason.
Improper communication with superiors mainly includes the following types:
One is absolute obedience. This kind of person obeys whatever the superior's opinion is right, much like Zhao Shuli's attitude towards the old village head Yan Hengyuan by Zhang Degui, the chairman of the peasant association; Zhang Degui, a real hero, followed Hengyuan's tongue. Hengyuan says "long", expensive "not short", expensive "square", expensive "not round", expensive "mashed garlic", expensive "not rotten" and expensive "cock can lay eggs".
The second is to vote for its good type. This kind of person observes the boss's words and senses, and he will take it out on his superiors. The superior said it was a deer, not a horse. Pei Yun, an imperial historian in Yang Di, and Yu Shiqi, assistant minister of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, are typical representatives in this respect. Pei Yun looked at the attitude of the master when handling the case. "If you want to commit a crime, bend the law and forge it into a crime. If you want revenge, you will be given a lighter punishment, so I will let you go. " Because "the emperor hates thieves", Historical Records reports good news instead of bad news. Although there was an emergency alarm below, he said that "thieves, rats and dogs" should be eliminated. "I hope your majesty doesn't care."
The third is not to say whether it is possible. Li Boyuan, a novelist, recorded in Notes on Nanting: "Wang Renhe became more and more deaf on a military plane ... One day, Rong Lu argued about something and couldn't agree. The queen mother asked the king what he thought. Wang didn't know the cloud, so he had to smile. After the Western Empress Dowager repeatedly asked, the king still smiled. Because the queen mother said,' Are you afraid of offending people? What a shiny egg! There are still many people who are afraid of offending their superiors and are noncommittal about something.
The fourth is to avoid leadership. Some people are leaders themselves, but they are afraid to meet their superiors, so they make a detour when they meet them. This kind of person is afraid to get close to the superior leader because of "flattery", or because of "self-defense", afraid that the superior will find his own shortcomings, or because there is a psychological gap with the superior, and so on. Whatever the reason, this kind of communication is not conducive to psychological communication between superiors and subordinates.
The fifth is the confrontational type. This kind of person has resistance to his superiors, so he adopts the behavior of rejection and resistance to his superiors. No matter whether the superiors are right or wrong, they always look for opportunities to "attack" their superiors, refuse to carry out their instructions and orders, and often have conflicts with them.
The sixth is to evaluate the head crystal foot shape. Although some people carry out the instructions of their superiors, they always find fault and judge whether the instructions are correct or not. Although this kind of criticism is sometimes justified, it will not only annoy superiors, but also cause bad tendencies among subordinates, leading to a group of "commentators" in the unit and reducing the number of doers in the organization. This is not very beneficial to the development of the organization.
Regardless of the motivation, the above behavior will affect the relationship with superiors in terms of its consequences. Although some individuals' communication methods will gain temporary benefits, in the long run, they will be harmful to their careers, organizations, superiors and themselves. Normal communication between subordinates and superiors should pay attention to the following points:
Be familiar with the psychological characteristics of superiors and conduct normal psychological communication. Communication with superiors, like communication with others, requires psychological communication. The superiors are also human beings and have secular desires. If you are not familiar with the psychological characteristics of your superiors, you will not be able to communicate well and achieve emotional consistency. The working relationship between superiors and subordinates cannot be completely abandoned. Psychological closeness and mutual assistance between superiors and subordinates will reduce friction events and conflicts between them. On the contrary, emotional differences will inevitably lead to psychological collisions, thus affecting the working relationship. The passage "Touching Empress Zhao" in the Warring States Policy can well illustrate this problem. When Empress Zhao first came to power, Qin invaded and the situation was critical. Zhao asked Qi for help, but his youngest son was often taken hostage before sending troops. The queen mother is reluctant to let go often, and ministers have advised her to put national affairs first. As a result, the relationship between the monarch and the minister fell out. The queen mother said, "If there is a reply, I will spit it out!" The relationship between monarch and minister reached a deadlock. At that time, Zuo asked him to avoid talking about Chang 'an An Jun. He first talked about the health problems of the elderly, such as diet and daily life, to ease the tension, and then asked the Queen Mother to care about his youngest son, Shu Qi, which aroused the Queen Mother's emotional singing. The Queen Mother not only agreed, but also broke her face and took the initiative to talk about the Reiko Kobayakawa issue, and the relationship between the monarch and his subjects became harmonious. At this time, it is dangerous to point out that the descendants of Marquis "respect without work, pay without work". If the heavenly queen really loves Chang, she should be made a hostage in Qi State to relieve Zhao's danger and contribute to the country. Only in this way can we always gain a foothold in Zhao. The persuasion of this person's lover made the queen mother suddenly realize that she finally agreed to Chang Anjun as a hostage. Just think, if you don't master the psychology of Empress Reiko Kobayakawa, persuasion will not only fail, but you may also be humiliated by spitting in her face. Understanding and being familiar with the psychological characteristics of superiors is to better handle the working relationship, and there should be no personal motivation to please superiors. The work of leaders needs the support and help of superiors. In order to achieve the same goal of the organization, they sometimes have to make suggestions and exhortations to their superiors. Without good psychological communication, these suggestions and exhortations will not work. Social psychology research believes that communication frequency plays an important role in establishing interpersonal relationships. If you don't communicate with your superiors and take an evasive attitude, it is difficult to get their approval. Without consensus, mutual support, coordination and cooperation will be greatly affected.
Obey the superior leadership, and don't take an attitude of resisting or rejecting the superior. Subordinate to superior is the basic organizing principle. Under normal circumstances, the decisions and plans of superior leaders cannot be completely wrong. Even if the superiors sometimes consider the overall situation and conflict with the interests of small units, they should obey the needs of the overall situation and should not resist not doing it. What's more, because some people have contradictions with their superiors, it is even more inappropriate for them to adopt a contradictory and exclusive attitude when they know that their superiors are right. Emotion can't replace reason. Leaders should not only deal with emotional factors, but also deal with problems rationally. This is not an effective way to improve the relationship between superiors and subordinates. When there are contradictions between subordinates and superiors, it is best to communicate with superiors. Even if there are mistakes in the work of superiors, don't cling to their shortcomings. Timely psychological communication will increase psychological compatibility and adopt an attitude of understanding, support and friendship.
Dare to point out and make up for the mistakes of superiors, but don't necessarily use harsh words. When making decisions, making plans and executing orders, superiors will inevitably make mistakes due to various restrictions. When you find a leader's mistake, don't please his superiors, help them spread it, and don't be afraid of his unhappiness and silence, but point it out in time so that the mistake can be corrected as soon as possible. Only in this way can the losses be reduced, otherwise the wrong decisions and plans will spread and develop, and one day they will not only harm the organization, but also harm themselves. Of course, it is not necessary to use harsh words to point out the mistakes of superiors. Some people think that "good advice is unpleasant to the ear, but good medicine tastes bitter and is good for the disease", but they don't know that if the purpose of treating diseases can be achieved, it would be better if good advice is unpleasant to the ear. Pointing out the mistakes of superiors is not necessarily about their own shortcomings, but that others are wrong, and sometimes the psychology of superiors may not be able to bear it. We might as well adopt a tactic of "taking a detour as a straight line" and take a circuitous route, which may get better results. Touched the Empress Dowager Zhao, without harsh words and harsh words from beginning to end, and successfully helped the Empress Dowager correct her mistakes in a harmonious and friendly atmosphere. His critical method is worth learning. It is pointed out that the mistake made by superiors should not be to spill the beans, but to consider how to make them accept it. Otherwise, the criticism is over, or complaints are made, which will not only have no positive effect, but will increase friction and conflict. For the mistakes of superiors, we should also advocate the spirit of "making up for Taiwan" and help superiors make up for their defects. We should not stand by and watch jokes, even satire. This negative communication attitude will make the relationship between superiors and subordinates tense and indifferent. If you have any good suggestions for your superiors' work, you should put them forward in time, and you should avoid using mandatory tone and method when making suggestions. Forcing your superiors to accept them often backfires.
Put yourself in the position of superiors, don't put yourself in their shoes. It goes without saying that superiors should care, help and support subordinates. However, in interpersonal communication, especially in communication with superiors, subordinates often have emotional obstacles, that is, they put themselves in the shoes of their superiors in practical work, put forward requirements that are divorced from the subjective and objective conditions of reality, and "attack" if they fail to reach them. It is difficult for superiors to work. As a leader, if you can always think that you can't meet the requirements of your subordinates, you will understand the difficulties of your superiors and their difficulties, and don't add unsolvable problems to your superiors.
Communication should be patient and can withstand setbacks and repetitions. Inevitably, subordinates should make work suggestions to their superiors and be patient when making suggestions to their superiors. Generally speaking, superiors are better than subordinates, but the objective situation is not entirely the case. On some issues, it is normal for subordinates to have a higher understanding than superiors. Examiners have to read the articles written by Fan Jinzhong several times before they can "understand the taste", which sometimes happens at work. When the understanding of subordinates is higher than that of superiors, in order to win the support of superiors, we must have the spirit of not being afraid of setbacks and repetitions, explain our views to superiors repeatedly, and gradually let superiors understand the contents and benefits of new suggestions, so as to convince superiors and gain their support. Sometimes, because the superior does not understand, it may lead to accusations and criticisms. At this time, we must not be discouraged. You should bravely accept setbacks, misunderstandings and accusations and stick to it. If we lack the spirit of persistence, our good wishes will die in suffering. Stick to it, and sometimes there will be a "bright future" situation.
As we all know, dealing with interpersonal relationships is very important for doing a good job. What is the effect of dealing with the boss?
Actually, you and your boss are in the same boat. If you want to succeed, you must help each other. So, how can we ensure that your relationship is fruitful and beneficial to both sides? You have to learn to repair your boss. Do you know your boss? Answer the following questions first:
1. What's your boss like?
Is your boss a person who just wants to grasp the overall situation, or a person who doesn't relax every detail? If you report the details to a person who just wants to grasp the overall situation, he or she will soon get tired of you. You may think that you are conscientious about a job, but your boss is indifferent. A leader who only wants to grasp the overall situation will think that you should do all the basic work well, otherwise he or she will not trust you. Your boss may only care about the results. If you know the boss's personality earlier, your cooperation will be much happier.
Are you helping your boss achieve his goal?
If you know exactly what your boss wants to accomplish, you'd better help. Knowing those special goals will help you better grasp the development direction of the department. Through this information, you can take forward-looking measures to help your boss achieve his goals. The boss will regard you as a valuable member of the department, so when he or she is promoted, you will also be promoted.
Does my boss like to deal with problems in the morning or afternoon?
If you know that your boss is not a person who likes to deal with problems in the morning, you should try to avoid being the first person summoned by him-especially when you two really have problems to discuss, you will find that your boss is more likely to listen to the opinions of subordinates in the afternoon and help you solve them. Don't bother when he or she doesn't want to solve the problem.
4. Do I know what my boss expects of me?
In fact, only a few employees will be expected by the boss and set goals for them. Everyone sharpened their heads and wanted to be one of them. If your boss is a detail-oriented person, you should briefly write down what you think he or she expects of you, and then give it to him or her for advice. If your boss has a headache when he or she sees too many documents, you'd better talk to him or her informally several times to talk about your role and responsibility in this department.
5. Do I try my best to make my boss and department look excellent?
You know, if your boss is excellent, then you will be excellent. You should try to make your boss look good anytime, anywhere. If you have any ideas to improve the work of the department, be sure to let him or her know. But be sure to talk in private and don't conflict with him (her). If the work of the department improves, you will gain more trust, which is very beneficial to your career.
Once you really handle the relationship with your boss, you will feel that you are more like partners than superiors and subordinates. As a partner, your boss will entrust you with more tasks, which will give you a broader development space.