The impact of lovelorn love on people is enormous. Many people in life are depressed because of lovelorn love, and some lovelorn people even commit suicide or kill people.
Lovelorn can be divided into false lovelorn and true lovelorn. Secret love is a kind of false lovelorn to a great extent, because patients and lovers have not really established a love relationship.
True lovelorn refers to two lovers breaking up after a period of passionate love. This experience is very painful. Most lovelorn people are divided into active and passive types. Although the active person will feel guilty after breaking up, most of the pain often falls on the passive person.
Lovelorn is a possible setback in life, which will cause great physical and mental harm to the lovelorn. Generally speaking, the greater the lover's expectation for the success of love, the more emotional input, the heavier the psychological damage after lovelorn, and the stronger the psychological reaction. Some people will have depression and feel sad and painful. In severe cases, they will lose confidence in life and be pessimistic about the future. Some will be self-enclosed, taciturn, don't like to associate with others, and even have a lingering fear of love, and dare not open their hearts easily; Some people will have some abnormal psychological activities, and even take revenge actions such as slander, framing and injury.
Frustration in love is understandable. However, if the lovelorn can't get rid of the pain of lovelorn, it will make them depressed and affect their work and study. Once they take revenge, they will also do harm to society, have an irreparable impact on their lives and eventually ruin their lives.
(2) the relationship between husband and wife
As the saying goes, "home and everything prosper" refers to the importance of harmony and stability of a family. The relationship between husband and wife plays a key role. In today's society, most couples are free to fall in love before marriage, and they are kind and loving at the beginning of marriage, and some are even romantic. But why do many couples turn against each other after several years? The basic reason is that with the passage of time after marriage, the feelings of husband and wife for each other have changed, and the requirements for each other have also changed.
When in love, lovers try to maintain and develop their relationship with their feelings. There are no special rights and obligations between lovers stipulated by law. All communication is voluntary, and lovers' efforts are also regarded as the performance of mutual love by each other. After marriage, both husband and wife need to fulfill their rights and obligations according to the marriage law or engagement. When husband and wife take care of each other in life, they contain less and less emotional elements, and both sides have more "should be so" elements. For example, if your spouse does something for you, you won't be grateful, but the same behavior of your spouse before marriage can arouse your emotional ripples. This psychological change is an erosion of love.
Less praise between husband and wife after marriage will make the other party doubt whether the spouse still loves himself wholeheartedly as he did at the beginning. If both sides actively understand each other's shortcomings, many misunderstandings and contradictions will be alleviated or eliminated. For example, the husband resents his wife for being too wordy and meddling in his affairs all day. We can interpret it as that the wife always thinks about her husband and wants him to know that her behavior is her care and love for him.
In addition, husband and wife should be close and have an appropriate "distance". This distance contains a lot of content. First, it means that husband and wife can respect each other in their daily lives. Husband and wife should think of each other in matters involving both parties or families. It is necessary to consider whether the other party is willing to do it or not. When one party does something good for the other, the spouse says "thank you" in good faith and gives the other a sweet kiss, which is conducive to the consolidation of the feelings of both parties. Secondly, from the aesthetic point of view, people found through research that a nude female picture can only give people a temporary sex appeal, while a female picture in Shimada Hanzo can give people a permanent charm. Therefore, in order to attract each other, don't act rashly in front of your spouse, so that both husband and wife can maintain and enhance their charm.
(3) the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Men and women who were originally not related by blood and were "not a family" entered a family because of love, which was mainly driven by "true love". Marriage not only brings the relationship between husband and wife, but also brings a series of family relationships, among which the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is one of the more important ones. As for the daughter-in-law, she seldom contacts with her in-laws before marriage, so she has a real affection for her husband, but only for her in-laws and other members of her in-laws.
Due affection is just an emotion defined according to the role, such as fatherly love and filial piety, brotherhood and fraternal respect in traditional ethics. Because this obligation is only an obligation, it is easy to be insincere or perfunctory. The daughter-in-law will think that there is no friendship between us. You didn't raise me. Because I am married, I will take care of you in every possible way. I haven't had time to honor my parents. I'm glad to be able to do this now. My mother-in-law will think that you are a family when you come in and out of my house. You should be like a daughter-in-law! One side emphasizes the true feelings, while the other side emphasizes the deserved feelings, and both sides are not satisfied.
When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law confuse the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they will gradually become dissatisfied because the other party can't meet their expectations.
After the discontent appears, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will have a kind of attribution bias, that is, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will never become a mother-daughter relationship. They don't know how to look at each other's emotions and personalities through their mother-daughter relationship and understand each other's true feelings. If true feelings are exchanged for true feelings, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will certainly become a new emotional pillar of family relations, just like the relationship between mother and daughter.
In real life, we see two ways to coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. One is that if the husband and wife have deep feelings, the wife will regard her husband's maiden as her own and her husband's parents as her own; The same is true for husbands, who regard their in-laws as their parents and their in-laws as their family.
The other is that if the husband and wife have deep feelings, they should respect each other's value recognition of their parents and families, experience each other's deep feelings for their father and son, and consider and handle things from each other's standpoint. Although these two ideas are somewhat different, they can better coordinate the contradiction between husband and wife caused by the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
(4) Parent-child relationship
Parent-child relationship is the most stable relationship in family relationship, because it is irrevocable, and the stability of modern husband-wife relationship is being more and more strongly impacted. Parent-child relationship is irreplaceable because of its blood relationship.
At the same time, once the parent-child relationship is created, it is permanent and cannot be changed by any external force. If parents and children can't understand each other, can't get along correctly, and parent-child relationship can't be handled well, it will bring serious consequences.
For children, family is the first social group to learn specific forms and skills of interpersonal communication. Parents' attitudes towards them, such as enthusiasm, gentleness, respect or indifference, impatience or contempt, will directly affect their future communication with others. Different ways of communication between parents and children will have different influences on children's personality, morality and behavior.
Many research results have proved that children's moral quality is directly related to the parent-child communication style in the family. Many important qualities of people, such as compassion, self-esteem and independence, depend on the good relationship between parents and children in many ways. The lack of loving relationship and spiritual closeness between parents and children is often the root of children's psychological underdevelopment or educational defects.