1. Parents' educational methods and methods.
At the parent-teacher meeting, I often meet parents who say that children are disobedient, don't love school, are at odds with teachers, talk back to parents and so on. After analysis, I found that most children's attitudes have a great relationship with their parents' educational methods.
Nowadays, most students are only children. They have been taken care of by their parents and grandparents since childhood. They are the "little emperors" and "little suns" at home. With the continuous improvement of living standards, their living conditions have become more and more superior. They live in a comfortable environment where they are naked and full of food, and there are fewer and fewer opportunities to encounter setbacks and experience tempering. Once they do badly in the exam, or have a bad relationship with their classmates, or are criticized by their teachers, it will have a great influence on their psychology.
Parents' bad educational methods are often an important reason for students' unhealthy psychological behavior. Spoiled and spoiled family education makes children willful, selfish, arrogant and eager to enjoy; The autocratic family education with rent violence makes children violent and cold, with brutal rent and lack of sympathy.
2. Learning burden.
As far as learning burden is concerned, students' heavy academic burden will directly affect their mental health. In the world, China's parents' expectation that their children will become almost abnormal is unique. In a sense, children have become the carrier of parents' unfinished business. According to the survey of "Primary and Secondary School Learning and Development Research Group" in China, parents still love grades and value intellectual education. Some students often complain about their parents: "They only know the scores, scores, scores, and if they do well in the exam, they will be in high spirits;" Start blaming and reprimanding if you don't do well in the exam. "Other aspects of children are ignored or rarely cared about. The teacher severely criticized a student's conduct. However, the parents of the child said to the teacher in front of the child, as long as you teach him to study hard and take exams well, don't always teach him something like ideal personality, or he won't get along well in society. What a confused idea this is!
3. The influence of parents' educational level.
In this case, parents with low educational level will not put new pressure on their children, because they don't realize that new situations in social development will require more and more. On the one hand, parents with higher educational level can recognize the new requirements of social development, which makes them pay more and more attention to their children's educational level, have higher and higher learning requirements for their children, and the learning pressure is gradually increasing; On the other hand, due to the limitation of their own cultural literacy, there is no effective way to educate their children. They can only blindly increase students' learning burden, or adopt bad educational methods, thus increasing children's psychological burden in learning and inducing various psychological obstacles.
4. The influence of family environment.
The influence of family on children is lifelong. Family relations are harmonious and democratic. Parents respect and love each other, respect the old and love the young, and create a good environment for the healthy growth of children, which will enable children to be influenced by a good education and family environment from an early age and develop good manners and habits. On the contrary, if parents and elders behave badly, behave inappropriately, and have inadequate correct guidance, it will be extremely unfavorable to children's growth. Some parents have different educational requirements for their children, and they play the devil's advocate with Taiwan Province in front of their children. Children are at a loss, full of contradictions, and the role of education offsets each other. The family structure is defective and the family relationship is not harmonious. Children's lack of careful adjustment and care from their parents will cause serious trauma to their hearts. Therefore, a good family education environment is an important factor for teenagers' healthy growth and good moral character formation.
Second, some suggestions for parents.
1, trust children.
The relationship between parents and children is not only the relationship between elders and younger generations, but also the relationship between friends. Children should respect, understand and cherish their parents; Parents should respect, trust, love and help their children. In daily life, when there are differences or contradictions between parents and children, we should adopt the method of democratic consultation on the basis of equality and trust, so as to be persuasive, patiently inspired and sensible. At ordinary times, we should respect children's personality, trust children, care about their daily activities, meet their legitimate wishes and demands as much as possible, and let children truly feel their parents' amiable and trustworthy. In this way, children are willing to tell their parents their true feelings and secrets, thus gaining the greatest trust of their parents. At the same time, parents should fully believe in their children's potential, and children may deliberately think about their ability to communicate with others. Therefore, everything about children, whether in understanding children.
2. Know your children.
Teenagers are in a period of rapid physical and mental development. In their usual study and activities, their hearts are often full of contradictions. They often have various conflicts with the outside world, are in an unstable state, and are often prone to various psychological and behavioral problems. This is a problem that needs special attention in family education. Problem children are all the result of psychological imperfection. Obviously, their problems are not sudden, and the incubation period is often very long, and there will always be some manifestations. Such as excessive inferiority or loneliness, frequent disputes with parents and peers, hostility and non-cooperation. If we pay attention to it in the early stage, these children can get new favorable factors to adapt to the living environment and develop good moral character and character. In life and study, parents should not replace them, but should give more enlightening help.
3. The expectation of children should be realistic.
Parents' excessive love and high expectations will cause great pressure on their children. At this point, Lu Xun is wise and far-sighted. After he became a great writer, many people thought that Zhou Haiying should follow in his father's footsteps and become a writer. But Lu Xun said, if children don't like literature and have no talent in this field, why should they do it? He is not forcibly designing the future for children, but respecting children's personality and their own choices.
Parents should be role models for their children.
Children generally like and respect educated, educated, studious, democratic, civilized and harmonious parents. In particular, the success of parents in learning will affect students' interest in learning to a certain extent, thus indirectly affecting their academic performance. When children grow up in an environment full of learning atmosphere, it is easy to sprout a demand for spontaneous learning, and even form a conscious learning action that is difficult to buy. Therefore, parents should take the lead in loving learning, form a family style and edify their children with their own words and deeds. The survey shows that many families of students with poor academic performance lack a good learning atmosphere: parents often invite some friends to play cards, chat and go out dancing in the evening. Imagine how children can study with peace of mind in such an environment.
In short, family education, as an important part of education, has a far-reaching impact on children. Every parent wants their children to get ahead, so let's pay attention to their children's psychology from now on and let them have a good psychological state to meet their opportunities and challenges.