Ji said that depression is called "the cold of the soul". People can't extricate themselves from depression for a long time and can't actively adjust their mentality. In addition, spring is a season that is easy to feel sad. When the sun is shining, it is easy to contrast with their inner emotions. When it rains, it will aggravate their negative mentality. If they don't pay attention to adjustment, it will affect their normal life and work.
The first move to treat mental illness is to talk.
"Sometimes, it is not difficult to see mental illness, just two words-listen." Ji Chengjun said, "For people with psychological problems, they can't show their inner things, so these things that don't show will destroy patients; If you can show your inner things, then these things will save the patients. " Therefore, he suggested that family and friends should listen more to people with psychological problems such as depression and anxiety.
The second trick is to improve your mood by changing your living environment.
We know that emotions are closely related to the environment. People clean the environment and beautify their mood. Clean the house at ordinary times, buy some warm trinkets to take home, and make the house a "beautiful home". You can also change curtains, sheets and tablecloths into new ones. Because the unchanging atmosphere can easily make people lose confidence, changing the face of the home can make people feel refreshed. Buy more pots of flowers, because the growth of plants always brings hope and vitality to people.
The third trick is to "meditate" to relax.
Modern people's emotional troubles often come from too many stimuli, too many temptations and too many desires, so that they can't be quiet inside. And Laozi said: Everything has its roots. In the final analysis, it is static and motionless. It generally means to make people quiet, and only when they are quiet can they return to life. Experts suggest that when you get home, you can take a hot bath first, so that your body and mind can be completely relaxed and calm, and then listen to some soothing and beautiful music, so that you can gradually enter a calm state, and your mind will naturally be broadened.
The fourth trick is aromatherapy
In daily life, fragrance will have a great influence on people's mood. The research of odorists shows that fragrance plays a very important role in regulating people's mood, treating diseases and protecting people's physical and mental health.
1. Lavender is a good medicine for insomnia. Its taste can improve depressive symptoms, eliminate tension and calm liver fire.
2. The smell of orange will improve work efficiency and eliminate the tension and anxiety of office workers in the depressed atmosphere of the office; The smell of grapefruit can suppress anger.
3. Strong ginger flavor can improve adaptability, eliminate fatigue and enhance perseverance.
There is also cinnamon as seasoning, and its fragrance can make people optimistic.
The fifth measure is tourism therapy.
Melancholy is a melancholy psychological state and a negative emotional state caused by mental depression. The outstanding feature is that any problem is treated with a negative and pessimistic view, and it is easy to lose confidence when a problem arises; Unwilling to associate with others, living alone and talking less; Some trivial things cause sadness and depression, and they are easy to worry about themselves. They often pull a long face, sigh and feel depressed. Traveling abroad has a good effect on eliminating depression. For example, traveling can improve people's physical and mental excitement, stimulate fun, adjust the spirit and produce pleasant effects. Tourism can promote the release of a polypeptide substance-endorphin, which makes people feel happy and calm.
9 strokes to adjust the mentality of returning from long vacation
After the long vacation, most people will encounter such problems. When people return to the office, their hearts are still on the road, and they can't settle down to work, which will affect work efficiency. What should we do? How can we get ourselves into work as soon as possible? 9 tricks to teach you to adjust the mentality of returning from a long vacation.
9 moves to adjust the mentality of returning from a long vacation 1. Arrive at the company one hour early.
If you are not too tired, you can come to the company one hour in advance. During this time, you can deal with the backlog of mail during and before the holiday. This time is your own, completely undisturbed time. I believe that once you get to work, many colleagues will greet each other and ask where you went during the holiday and how you enjoyed yourself. At this time, if you bury yourself in your work instead, there are two problems. First, you are alone when you should be socializing. Second, even if you bury yourself in your work, you will be under pressure and unable to devote yourself wholeheartedly. So, this week after the Spring Festival, you can get to the office earlier.
Of course, if you want to arrive at the company comfortably one hour in advance, you need to get up one hour in advance and go to bed one hour in advance.
Write a to-do list
On the first day back in the office, you will suddenly face a lot of work and study, but you don't know how to start. Maybe some friends even forgot their computer and email passwords-I often make this mistake. At this time, handwriting is more useful. It is to write down what you want to do today, sort it in order of priority, and distinguish between what you want to do and what you can't do. Try it now, it will definitely work.
Handle mail reasonably
Maybe some friends will ask, why is there still mail after the Spring Festival holiday, and everyone is resting? This is very simple. Some of them are accumulated before the Spring Festival (you may have a holiday before the Spring Festival, or you have some overseas colleagues and friends. Of course, we also have some emails sent automatically by the system. At this time, don't try to reply to every email immediately. Mark those emails that can be answered later, and then deal with those that need to be dealt with immediately.
Don't forget to say hello and chat with your boss and colleagues.
Before the Spring Festival, I answered a letter from my friend. He was dissatisfied with his year-end performance and salary increase, and felt that he did not meet expectations. At that time, I pointed out that his problem was probably that he had been "immersed" (really immersed in his work, but neglected communication with colleagues and bosses. The first week after the Spring Festival is social time! Simple greetings will bring us closer. It is a good habit to bury your head less and look up more at this time.
Tell yourself to recover slowly
On the first day of work, don't worry too much, don't think about returning to the past chicken blood state at once. Anyone who has driven a car knows that good driving habits require you to take your time when accelerating or braking. Machines are like this, and people are even more so. Take your time, don't worry, a week's recovery is not much.
6. Tidy up desks, desks and bookshelves
It is a good habit to tidy up the desk at home, the desk in the office and the bookshelf when you are confused at work. In the past weekend, I tidied up my bookshelf, cleared out all the books that I might never read again, and moved them away from the bookshelf, intending to give them away (Peng Ying suggested that I become a member, but I haven't figured out a way yet-I can't, because I like the thinking process. There may be dozens of books, but how should we choose and send them to satisfy both sides? . I put a dozen books I bought recently and planned to read in the near future on the first shelf. May mention the second floor. I not only organize the physical bookshelves, but also organize the e-book shelves on my Kindle, delete the books I have read and leave the books I plan to read in the near future. So is clearing the table. Subtraction is needed. Because the external objects around us are inextricably linked with our own hearts and have a subtle influence. I will talk about this in a subsequent article.
7. Share travel photos and experiences with friends.
In the morning, at our first team meeting after the Spring Festival, I shared with you what I saw in restaurants and museums in Hong Kong and Singapore, and read some history books. Colleagues also shared their experiences and feelings in various places. This little link can not only enhance everyone's feelings, let everyone adapt to the atmosphere of the office more, but also let us have a satisfactory summary of our holiday life.
In addition, in the evening, I take time to sort out my holiday photos and sort out about 10% photos worth keeping and sharing. Or put it online to share with family and friends, or print it out for yourself, all of which are ways to make yourself feel happy.
8. Start planning your next trip.
Some people think that telling themselves that they can look forward to the next holiday is to overcome "post-holiday depression" (post-holiday depression, I agree! )
Start planning your next vacation now. You need to plan the destination, cost and schedule of your next vacation. This can book air tickets in advance, which is much cheaper than temporary booking; You will save money in advance to avoid some aimless consumption; If you need to go abroad, you can confirm your visa in advance, so don't worry. If you go to a non-English-speaking country, you can also learn the common expressions of life in that country in advance.
When you know that you will be on vacation for 3-5 days in a few months, you will definitely take the time to work hard from now on. Because only in this way can you ask for leave in front of your boss and feel at ease when you are on vacation. When you plan your next holiday happily, will you miss the taste of the last holiday too much?
9. Check your New Year's resolutions.
One third of 20 14 years has passed. Let's delete too many unrealistic New Year's resolutions, leaving 1 to the three most important ones that must be realized, then make a practical plan and start action today.
When you come back from vacation, in order not to affect your work efficiency, let yourself get into work as soon as possible, and don't rush to work. Maybe you can clean up your desk, write down your day's work, clear your mind and tell yourself that the main thing is to take your time and adjust your mentality.
Why am I unhappy? Tim was a carefree child when he was a child. But from the day he went to primary school, his busy life began. Parents and teachers always tell him that the purpose of going to school is to get good grades so that he can find a good job when he grows up. No one told him that school can be a happy place and learning can be a happy thing. Tim sometimes asks himself, why am I unhappy? The answer is that Tim is afraid of not doing well in the exam and writing wrong words. Tim is burdened with anxiety and pressure. What he looks forward to every day is attending classes and going to school. His spiritual sustenance is the annual holiday.
Gradually, Tim accepted the values of adults. Although he doesn't like school, he still studies hard. When he got good grades, his parents and teachers praised him and his classmates envied him. In high school, Tim was convinced of this: sacrificing the present is for future happiness; No pains, no gains. When the pressure was unbearable, he comforted himself by saying that although I am not happy now, everything will be fine when I go to college.
Tim was so excited that he burst into tears when he received the college admission notice. He breathed a long sigh of relief: now, you can live happily. But a few days later, the familiar anxiety came back. He is worried that he can't win the competition with his college classmates. If you can't beat them, you won't find a good job in the future.
Four years in college, Tim is still busy, trying to add luster to his resume. He set up student associations, volunteered, participated in various sports and carefully selected courses, but all this was not out of interest at all, but these subjects could ensure him to get good grades.
In his senior year, Tim was hired by a famous company. He told himself excitedly that he could finally enjoy life this time. But he soon felt that the high-paying job, which required 84 hours a week, was full of pressure. He has given up the question he once asked himself-why am I unhappy? He just convinced himself: it doesn't matter. Only by doing this can the future position be more stable and the promotion be faster. Of course, he also has happy moments when he gets a raise, bonus or promotion. But these satisfactions soon disappeared.
After years of hard work, Tim became a partner in the company. How much he longed for this day. However, when the day really came, he didn't feel much happy. Tim has a mansion and a brand-name sports car. His savings will never run out.
He is regarded as a model of success by people around him. Friends take him as an idol to educate their children. But Tim can't find happiness in blind pursuit. He only pays attention to the present and anesthetizes himself with alcohol and drugs. He extended his vacation as long as possible, basked in the sun for a few hours on the beach, enjoyed a aimless life and never worried about tomorrow again. At first, he was very happy, but soon, he was bored again.
"Busy" is unhappy, and neither is "hedonism". Unable to find a way out, Tim decided to surrender to fate and resigned himself to it. But what about his children? What kind of life should he guide them to live? Tim is deeply troubled by this.
Why are there so many busy people in today's society? Ben Shachar explained: Because people are often deceived by the illusion of happiness, this is the root of the question "Why am I unhappy?". .
Our social environment and cultural background are as follows: if children get straight A, parents will reward them; If employees do well, the boss will give bonuses. People habitually pay attention to the next goal, but often ignore the immediate things, and finally, lead to lifelong blind pursuit.
However, once the goal is achieved, people often interpret the relaxed mood as happiness. The harder it seems to do, the stronger the happiness after success. Undeniably, this liberation makes us feel really happy, but it is by no means the same as "happiness". Just an illusion of happiness.
It's like a person who has a headache too much will be glad that his head doesn't hurt. This is because this happiness comes from the painful antecedents. People who are "busy around" mistakenly think that success is happiness, and firmly believe that relaxation and liberation after achieving their goals are happiness. Therefore, they keep running from one goal to another.
The way of thinking determines the attitude towards life. Here are seven incorrect daily thinking habits to find out what hinders us from pursuing happiness and what methods can bring happiness back.
How to adjust
When can perfectionists enjoy happiness? Too high expectations usually only make you depressed and lead to confusion. So we should know that there is nothing perfect in the world.
There are three ways to help us deal with this problem:
He who is content is happy.
Pursuing perfection usually brings the opposite effect, while being too comfortable will make people lazy. Therefore, after trying to complete your duties, you should know how to appreciate your achievements.
2) Moderate self-discipline
I always set a deadline for myself before starting a new job. Because a year ago, when I was writing my second book, I found it not advisable to use my time at will, because I always wanted to add new materials. So I have to set a time to urge myself. This method is very effective for dealing with the way of thinking with too many ideas.
3) Rational judgment
For me, this is an effective way to control perfect thoughts. The world of light and shadow tells us that the dream of perfectionism is easy to realize, and everything seems to be within reach. When watching movies, listening to songs and feeling life, it is easy to feel satisfied, which is the time we all look forward to having. But this kind of life will conflict with various practical problems, and it will also have a negative impact on interpersonal relationships, work and other surrounding areas. Therefore, we should be alert to this contradictory relationship.
2. Negative atmosphere
Our life will inevitably be influenced by the collective. If we accept the public opinion that life is unfortunate, dangerous and unfair, then happiness is hard to exist.
How to adjust
1) Face everything with a positive attitude and life will be completely new.
2) Create a positive public opinion environment for yourself. Chatting with optimistic friends, in addition, brisk music, enterprising books and happy TV programs are all good ways.
3) We can try to change ourselves step by step. For example, you can listen to a story at breakfast one day instead of the usual news program.
Once bitten, twice shy.
Indulge in the past misfortunes and worry too much, which will make us feel depressed now. If you can't grasp the present, you will only make more mistakes.
How to adjust
It is necessary to sum up the past and plan the future, but please stop. I will set aside a lot of time every day to do what I am doing now. Just like now, I am concentrating on writing, and then I will carefully prepare lunch and enjoy it slowly. No matter what I do, I will devote myself wholeheartedly. When hesitation is inevitable, I will pull myself back to reality by taking a deep breath or sitting still.
Why do you only lose your temper with people close to you?
Case:
When I first met you, she wore a long white floral dress, elegant long hair, fair skin and delicate facial features, revealing a smart atmosphere.
She came to me with only one question: "grumpy".
She and Hao Hao are very in love. They have been together for more than six years, their views are normal, and their personalities are similar and complementary. The only contradiction is that she often speaks ill of things the size of sesame seeds, and even gets things out of control.
At first she thought it was just a woman's little temper. After the quarrel, she spoiled her well and consistently. Recently, she gradually found that her little temper had escalated unconsciously. Not long ago, a quarrel was caused by such a trivial matter as oil, salt, vinegar and tea. She slammed the door violently, but accidentally crushed her good finger, causing her phalanx to break.
You feel very guilty about this matter, deeply understand your excessive behavior, and are also very tolerant, which makes her more hopeful to improve. In fact, you are not like this in the office environment, nor in your usual interpersonal communication. At best, it is a bit barbaric, but it does not affect her normal interpersonal relationship.
"I just want to be his savage girlfriend occasionally, not a grumpy person who is hated by everyone."
The visitor in the above case is a patient with violent psychological problems, but she has a strong desire to improve.
Grumpy is quite situational, and it is not a psychological problem that will appear on any occasion. Ironically, bad temper is often exposed when we face close friends or relatives, but it can be controlled when we face unfamiliar environment.
Why is this happening?
Here we temporarily put aside the genetic factors of congenital personality and analyze the reasons only from the acquired psychological growth:
First, from the psychological subconscious level, we know that our relatives and friends can tolerate us, even extremely, just as you have been hurt many times and pampered her as always, and then her subconscious will know that no matter how grumpy she is, she will forgive her.
On the contrary, in the face of unfamiliar environment, such as the office, in order to maintain their temperament and self-esteem, even if they are stimulated by themselves, they will try their best to be patient. And this kind of grumpy people, both men and women, actually do the deepest unconscious harm to their closest people, and the true love and tolerance of relatives and friends is also a hotbed of grumpy.
Secondly, it is the inconsistency of recognized cognitive concepts during our growth. For example, around you, if she is hurt by her bad temper, she feels guilty and wants to improve, but at the same time she accepts the "advice" from people around her: "Who can have no temper at all? Rabbits bite even in a hurry. What's more, it was right from the beginning and made you angry, didn't it? " "The tiger doesn't outbursts, he when you are a sick cat? You can't leave him alone and kick your nose and face another day! " These repeated voices, which appear frequently and are intertwined with your guilt, will not help her to have a clear consciousness, but will increase her stronger sense of frustration, especially when some people's personality characteristics are strongly hinted by the surrounding environment, which will easily lead to irritability.
Third, such a bad-tempered person usually has a very strict image of "instructor" in the family where she comes from. When we were young, we were severely reprimanded and even physically punished by the "instructors" if we made a slight mistake, or failed to do as required, or did badly.
This practice will have two adverse consequences: first, it will make us feel dissatisfied and depressed in childhood, and this dissatisfaction and depression will erupt in the occasions that will stimulate this emotion accordingly in the future; Secondly, the teacher's behavior unconsciously provides us with a childhood imitation hint, that is, why once such an environment appears, grumpy and aggressive behavior will erupt. The last cause of irritability is psychological irritability and irritability caused by some diseases or physiological adjustment factors (often staying up late to sleep).
British biologist Darwin said: "If a person wants to lose his temper, he will take a step back on the ladder of human progress." A bad temper is a bad character. If something goes wrong and you are anxious, will you appease your inner self or let it control you easily?
Self-regulation of obsessive-compulsive disorder: typical symptoms of white-collar obsessive-compulsive disorder
1, I can't help myself and always stay up late.
I was tired after work, but when I got home, I became very excited. I started surfing the Internet, reading novels, watching movies and playing games, and I couldn't help myself. The more I stay up late, the more excited I am ... In fact, this is also the same feature of many white-collar workers suffering from "obsessive-compulsive disorder of staying up late". Work and life habits, relieve stress, kill time, etc. They are all the reasons they found for themselves to "stay up late and get up late".
Always doubt that what has been done has not been done.
Every time you go out, you are "step by step." I always doubt that the gas is turned off and the door is unlocked after breakfast. When I walked to the door of the community, I ran back and checked one by one.
3. Repeating meaningless behaviors.
The mobile phone is with you 24 hours a day, and you check it subconsciously every few minutes, for fear of missing text messages and phone calls. The first thing to do when you open your eyes in the morning is to surf the internet, refresh the webpage every few seconds, and never let go of any updates; Often say the same thing several times for no reason; It takes a long time to wash your hands repeatedly ... these compulsive behaviors appear in more and more people.
How can patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder adjust themselves to 1 and not embarrass themselves?
Don't be too hard on yourself in everything, just do what you have to do, and don't think, evaluate or discuss after doing it. For example, if you are criticized by the leader for your poor work, don't dwell on it again and again after summing it up carefully.
2. Enrich your spare time.
Take part in more recreational activities, such as going out for an outing with colleagues and friends and climbing mountains. To exercise your courage.
3. Learn to forgive yourself.
If compulsive behavior occurs occasionally, you should say to yourself, "I am much better than before." It's no big deal to appear once in a while. "
4. Self-suggestion.
When you are inexplicably nervous or anxious, you should say to yourself, "It's no big deal, I don't need to be so nervous."
5. Distract your attention.
When compulsive behavior or thoughts appear, you can divert your attention by listening to music, chatting with friends and eating delicious food.
Bai: The definitions of success and failure are not so strict. Now is an era of "successful learning". In China, many distortions and chaos are related to the pursuit of superficial success. We often only pursue realistic results, not truth; We value the result, so we can't enjoy the process; We often do whatever it takes to achieve a wish.
20 12, covering the London Olympics. The slogan of the London Olympic Games is "Influence a Generation". A reporter asked: "How does sports affect a generation?" An official of the London Olympic Organizing Committee replied: "Sports teach children how to win." This sentence is very common. In China, many things can teach children how to win. But his next sentence particularly touched me: "At the same time, teach children how to lose with dignity and dignity."
This is an education that China people lack. In our education system, when did children learn to lose with dignity when they were growing up?
I remembered this sentence. On the one hand, it makes me understand why sports play such an important role in our lives; On the other hand, it is like a mirror, reflecting China at this time.
In fact, the ancestors have long understood this truth and said, "Nine times out of ten, life is not satisfactory." Since nine times out of ten things are unpleasant, why do we never teach people mentality and coping methods in nine times out of ten? On the contrary, the success of 1 12 is regarded as extremely important; Nine times out of ten, setbacks have also been magnified to the extreme.
Review the history of the world, especially the history of China, and think about it. Is failure terrible? There are countless great historical figures in China. They are great because of failure, not because of success.
Is Yue Fei great because of his success? If we look at it from the perspective of "success", Yue Fei is a failure. Regardless of the war situation, Yue Fei was recalled by the court with twelve gold tokens, and finally "you're done". At that time, he was a loser So who is the winner? It's Qin Gui. But then what? Qin Gui has been kneeling by the West Lake, but Yue Fei is our hero.
Is Xiang Yu the winner? As a man and a general, Xiang Yu has failed beyond measure, right? But as a hero, he still exists in China's drama stories and people's talks. On the contrary, Liu Bang, the "winner", will make us feel disdainful or less like it.
Is Lin Zexu's life successful? Everyone only remembers "Humen suppressed opium", but they don't know that under the pressure of many "compromises", Lin Zexu was dismissed one year later. Judging from his fame, is he successful? Not at all.
Why should we make up for the failure? Not only because "nine times out of ten life is unsatisfactory", but also because life is a one-way street from birth, going straight to death. Even if we win the world, it won't change the result. Death is the greatest failure. How to face it?
Failure, in fact, has many meanings, greater than success, or a success must be promoted by failure. Li Houzhu's failure in Nantang is extremely painful, and it is very difficult for us to experience such a failure. But we are still talking about him. Why? As a great literary creator, he stayed in the history of China literature. If it weren't for the destruction of the country, would he have this feeling of "asking how much sorrow you can have, just like a river flowing eastward"? No. This failure is painful for Li Houzhu, but isn't it a blessing for future generations and the inheritance of literature? In his works, failure has a wonderful artistic conception.
Mozart was not a popular man in his hometown. He has been ostracized many times and his fate is ill-fated. He is a genius. The musical works he created in his life may not be copied by ordinary people all his life. In his music, you can't hear failure, frustration, wandering life and unspeakable secrets. His music will always be the best in the world.
There are many great poets who have created great works because of the misfortunes, setbacks and sorrows in their lives. We all know that Su Shi's works are good, but his official career is actually very bad. He was repeatedly ostracized and relegated. Even so, he left a masterpiece, and even the negative emotions in his life found a clever outlet. Otherwise, where did Dongpo Meat come from? Therefore, taking history as a mirror and returning to the individual, we should know that sometimes we need to fail, and failure is an important driving force for great creation.
In addition, we should also understand that setbacks and failures originally provided opportunities for change. You know, people don't have to make a decision when they win, but they must make a decision when they fail.
Making a decision often means the beginning of change, isn't it the same in life? Whenever failure and frustration come, you should look at it with curiosity and try to understand its purpose: is this a reminder? Should I make a better decision?