1. Psychiatry (1 year-old has raising problems), personality disorder (3 years old) and neurosis (3-6 years old).
Mental illness (taking one's inner imagination as inner reality), a monistic world.
The most serious mental illness is schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and so on. Typical symptoms include hallucinations, delusions, strange behaviors and strange thoughts. It can be said that weirdness is the easiest place for mental patients to distinguish, and their words, behaviors and expressions are obviously different from those of normal people.
One of the most typical and well-known is schizophrenia, and the core symptoms are hallucinations and delusions. Illusion is seeing things that don't exist; Auditory hallucination is hearing voices that don't exist. Delusion means stubbornly sticking to your own ideas, even if there is no evidence, but still sticking to them and not being persuaded. The classic delusion is persecution delusion, which holds that all setbacks in a person's life are someone or a certain force, and a system is constructed to persecute himself; Another example is infatuation, which usually thinks that a celebrity is in love with himself; There is also such a thing as jealousy and delusion, which determines that a spouse is unfaithful to the opposite sex around him.
Personality disorder perceives the existence of others, monism and duality.
It's hard to show emotion. A little better than mental illness. Most people don't seek psychotherapy.
I'm not wrong, it's all someone else's fault.
The most well-known personality disorder should be antisocial personality disorder. They are the protagonists of all kinds of vicious news events, and their happiness is based on the suffering of others.
People with personality disorders don't think they have problems, so most of them don't seek treatment, except for a few categories, such as borderline personality patients. Generally speaking, there are three characteristics:
Unstable, self-willed, one second you are crying, the next you are laughing through tears, the core is the lack of stable self-image, it is easy for them to change roles and get along with them, and you will feel that they will become a different person in the future.
Impulsive and irritable, prone to self-abuse, self-harm and even suicide;
Extremely afraid of being abandoned, they often express "I can do anything you want as long as you don't leave me".
Neurosis, binary world, ternary world.
Neurosis is the lightest mental illness, and the obsessive-compulsive disorder, social phobia and so on we usually hear are all neurosis.
Contrary to personality disorder patients, the problem with neurotic patients is that they feel too easily: I am wrong, the problem is all mine. Therefore, they will take the initiative to seek treatment, and most of the visitors encountered by psychological counselors in social institutions are neurotic if they really reach the level of mental illness.
2. Mental health = confidence+enthusiasm
The so-called "relationship" is me and you; The so-called "force" is the expression of energy between you and me.
"I" can also be regarded as "self" and "you" can be regarded as "object", a basic structure: self+motivation+object.
There are three motives for human nature: narcissism, sexuality and aggression. Power can also be called energy, vitality and so on.
The first level of confidence and enthusiasm, that is, vitality can nourish self and object, or goodwill energy can flow between self and object;
The second level exaggerates the self and idealizes the object, that is, exaggerates the goodness of the self and the object; Both levels are well-meaning.
The third-degree hypochondriac and the terrible god feel weak and think the object is hostile;
The fourth level is narcissistic delusion and persecution delusion, which thinks that the self has reached the level of God and that the object is bad and omnipotent. Narcissistic delusion is to feel that you are a "god". Persecution paranoia, that is, a person feels that all the misfortunes in his life are caused by a person or a force to build a system to persecute himself.
3. Positive energy and negative energy are the same thing. The only difference is that positive energy is allowed and seen, and negative energy or black energy is not allowed to be seen. There are two ways to express black energy: continue to point outward at objects, which is aggressive; You can't attack the object, only yourself. Depression means attacking yourself. The powerlessness of depression is a kind of repression to oneself. When black energy can flow between self and object, it can be transformed into vitality. Therefore, after energy is seen, all energy can be transformed into good. This is what relationships are all about.
4. All-round narcissism means that a person feels that he is a "god". When he thinks, the outside world will respond according to his own wishes; Babies can't stand helplessness and anger. Give your baby a timely response. Only when there is enough goodness, will she integrate the goodness in her heart.
Linzi and face. Richard is an entity narcissism, your sense of self-worth, and you think that "I'm fine" is a very real thing, like an entity, which will not be greatly damaged by changes in external conditions. Entity narcissism is to love and do what you really like. Your life is the result of internal projection.
Face is virtual narcissism, and your sense of self-worth is closely related to external conditions, such as beauty, money, socio-economic status, fame and so on. When the external conditions are good, your narcissism will be shattered, but when the external conditions are bad, your narcissism will be greatly damaged. Virtual narcissism is only a stage of development.
If a person is mainly narcissistic, then when doing things, he will focus on external conditions, these relatively imaginary things, but he always seems to be unable to grasp the real and core things and always ignores them. Serious virtual narcissism is omnipotent narcissism.
Everyday manifestations of omnipotent narcissism. Adults will see four common manifestations of this psychology:
1 excellent obsessive-compulsive disorder: not excellent, not worthy of living;
② Dyskinesia: too many thoughts and difficulty in movement; This is the case with severe procrastination, which comes from infants (monism) and only provides ideas, and the mother is responsible. I am perfect. When I think the world should turn according to my wishes, when the world doesn't turn, I will collapse and die.
(3) Zhu Xin theory; Distinguish between imagination and reality, and between ideas, actions and results. The whole theory of mind means that I will trace what you said, even your thoughts and motives, and you are not allowed to have any thoughts about me.
(4) After being injured in a relationship, you will retreat to the lonely and all-round narcissism.
Everyone is annoying, so you can show your aggressiveness in front of the counselor.
Problems are formed in relationships; The problem is presented in the relationship; Problems, the repair of interpersonal relationships.
In reality, it is easy to get angry, but it is afraid of destroying the relationship and suppressing it; Then this is his pattern, and so is everyone else.
Everyone is annoying, and you are annoying yourself. Those "good people" actually have the same fundamental narcissism and are equally prone to anger, but they don't express it or even know it. But if they have the chance, they will show their revenge.
Example: You can say "You make me angry" to the other person, but if you hit the other person, it will become destructive.
Simple and kind women will be praised, but aggressive women are more likely to be vivid and charming.
A child needs to feel that his mother or object can survive after his attack. Don't worry that expressing anger will destroy others.
In Winnicott's view, aggression is equal to vitality or motivation. This is also a way of contact.
If a person is not aggressive, it is easy to be hypocritical and it is difficult to establish a vivid and true relationship with others.
6. How to face other people's attacks and how to detoxify?
You attack me, I contain your attack with love, and I deeply understand your anxiety. This means that your black vitality was seen by me, allowed by me, and turned into white vitality through my loving eyes.
In normal relations, it is very worthwhile to accept aggression and transform destructiveness.
7. A mature sense of time and space means that you find that even if your wish cannot be realized at present, with the accumulation of time and the increase of investment, the probability of realizing a specific wish will be higher and higher.
An important difference between fragile life and resilient life is that the latter knows that there is time, so it can see everything from the perspective of life as a whole.
8. Delayed gratification, that is, "delayed gratification", is an important feature of individuals' effective self-regulation and successful adaptation to the development of social behavior. It refers to a choice orientation of voluntarily giving up immediate satisfaction for more valuable long-term results. The self-control ability shown during the waiting period is a part of personality self-control and a manifestation of psychological maturity. Its development is a necessary condition for individuals to complete various tasks, coordinate interpersonal relationships and successfully adapt to society, which embodies the ability of self-control or restraint of desire.
Its opposite concept is instant satisfaction, that is, immediate experience of pleasure and satisfaction without delay. Simply put, it is "what you want, you need it now".
9. Self-efficacy. People's confidence in whether they can use the skills they have to complete a certain work behavior. The younger the child is, the better the chance of developing self-efficacy.
How do adults temper their sense of self-efficacy?
First, try to do some small challenges first, and then constantly upgrade the difficulty of things; And first of all, I know in my mind that through the accumulation of time and the transformation of space, as long as I keep accumulating input, the probability of things being realized will increase. And whether your wish is realized or not, your experience and ability are growing. This is tempering.
Second, the challenge is coming, and you are not ready. Your current self-efficacy is still very low, and you will have a narcissistic and furious death instinct. Then, first tell yourself in your mind that there is such a thing as time. As long as I persevere, victory may come.
The process of growth should be the process of expanding this comfort zone.
10. Collision with more powerful people. People, people and the environment are really mirrors of each other. Different encounters are different mirrors, which will reflect different self. And when you collide with something very powerful, terrible and high-standard, you will see an incredible self.
1 1. The continuity and fracture of the relationship: the generated energy is not good, the dead energy is bad, the continuity is right, and the fracture is wrong. In fact, we often need to use dead energy to destroy something that should be destroyed, such as ending some relationships that we don't want to associate with.
Don't take loneliness too seriously, but establish contact with the world.
12. American psychologist Robert. Robert Jeffrey Sternberg Jeffrey Robert Jeffrey Sternberg believes that love consists of three basic components: passion, intimacy and commitment.
Perfect love = intimacy+passion+commitment, which is "triangular theory of love".
Passion: mainly the expression of desires and needs, referring to sexual needs and desires;
Intimacy: refers to those feelings that make both sides close, like-minded and indifferent in a love relationship. Revealing your feelings to your lover, interdependence, respect and understanding for your lover, and willingness to share with each other are all manifestations of intimacy;
Commitment: It consists of short-term commitment and long-term commitment. Short-term commitment refers to the decision to love someone, while long-term commitment refers to maintaining this relationship, being responsible for each other's relationship, facing the future together, being willing to sacrifice, contribute and run a loving relationship.
Sex is everywhere. Everything standing is a symbol of male genitalia; All containers are symbols of female genitalia.
13. "Sex is the desire for relationships". The motive of sex is mainly to make the relationship closer.
When you take out all your existence and establish a relationship with all the existence of another person, it is a complete relationship.
Ambitious women usually become masculine and have stronger sexual desire. Women around the age of 25 are the best childbearing age for women and have the strongest sexual attraction. After that, it began to decline, but sexual desire began to increase. In order to increase the possibility of reproduction, men's sexual desire was the strongest between their teens and twenties.
For example, the probability of falling in love with a counselor is very high. In our country, it is a rule that consultants are not allowed to establish intimate relationships with visitors within three years after the end of the consulting relationship.
If a person has problems in sexual relations, the reason can be traced back to his Oedipus complex.
14. Intimacy is the most intuitive criterion for testing a person's self-development. Because people tend to wear masks in ordinary social relations and establish seemingly good relationships, but in intimate relationships and parent-child relationships, masks will hurt relationships. A person's nature is more likely to be fully displayed in intimate relationship and parent-child relationship.
The quality of men is "to do" and the quality of women is "to do". Men must do something to fully prove themselves, while women's desire is not so heavy. A woman's more important quality is that she can build relationships, so the best quality is that as long as she is there, others will be attracted.
A certain degree of betrayal in the relationship between husband and wife is almost inevitable.
15. I choose, I am free, I exist. You take the initiative to make a choice with subjective consciousness, which ultimately determines who you are; If you consciously choose love and life, you will illuminate yourself as an energy body and glorify yourself.
Summary:
1. Mental health = confidence+enthusiasm. The so-called "relationship" is me and you; The so-called "force" is the expression of energy between you and me. Positive energy and negative energy are the same thing, and negative energy can also be transformed into good vitality.
2. The younger the child, the more careful care is needed to reduce helplessness and anger. The less a child's ability is, the more he needs to be taken care of by others in order to properly satisfy his narcissism. But as his ability rises, he will change a principle: do what he can; Others will not be the tools and objects for him to achieve all-round narcissism.
3. Grasping the real core thing is physical narcissism, and paying attention to the external environment is virtual narcissism. The self-value of virtual narcissism is closely related to external beauty, money and reputation. From virtual narcissism to physical narcissism is the process from 0 to 1 Your life is the result of internal projection.
4. When you do things, you should distinguish between imagination and reality. A starting standard for a mature person is to be able to distinguish between imagination and reality, and to know that ideas are not equal to actions, let alone consequences. Severe procrastination is a manifestation of all-round narcissism.
Know how to express your anger, say "You make me angry", and don't worry that expressing anger will destroy others. People who are not aggressive feel fake. Enterprising is to develop your life with a subjective consciousness.
6. For others, tolerate detoxification, accept aggression and transform destructiveness. What should be severed should also be severed.
7. Exercise your sense of time and space and temper the tenacity of life, which is the same as patience. Slow and long-term trend to achieve their goals. Delay satisfaction delay satisfaction.
A person thinks that in a longer period of time, due to the increase of investment and opportunities, the possibility of being satisfied will increase, so the time of satisfaction can be extended.
8. Increase your sense of self-efficacy. Start small, and then gradually increase the difficulty of the activity until it is completed. Be patient.
9. The younger a child is, the easier it is to cultivate his sense of self-efficacy and temper his sense of self-efficacy in the little things that the child can do.
10. When you collide with something with high standards, you will see an incredible self.
1 1. Perfect love = intimacy (communication)? Passion (desire and need)? Commitment (short term and long term). Sex is the desire for relationships.
12. Intimacy is the most intuitive criterion for testing a person's self-development. A certain degree of betrayal in the relationship between husband and wife is almost inevitable.
13. How to measure the right person in a relationship:
The dead energy finally becomes the living energy. Although at the beginning, or in the process, two people may have a serious conflict, but in the end the conflict was subsided, and both sides can feel this and feel that the relationship between the two people is more real and intimate after the conflict.
14. I choose, I am free, I exist.
People have choices at any time and can use resources.
Don't try to be lonely and complete, but wallow in the relationship world.