I really felt the meaning of this sentence tonight.
After half a year's work, my son's new house is finally packed and ready to move in.
Looking at the spacious, bright, fashionable and beautiful new home, I know I will gradually withdraw from their lives …
Since my son was six years old, I divorced his father, and we lived alone. It was not until he grew up and married a daughter-in-law that the family gradually became warm and felt at home.
At that time, the three of us worked hard together, and our business was booming, our families were harmonious and our careers were thriving.
With the birth of grandchildren, our life is happier. The son is smart, the daughter-in-law is smart and sensible, and the family lives happily together.
Although I have been busy with my grandchildren in recent years, it feels really good to be a family together. I am very grateful for the gift of life.
But my two grandchildren are in kindergarten and my granddaughter is old enough to go to school. I have to consider quitting their lives, giving them independent space, doing their own things and helping their children learn.
A friend said, "Are you used to living together for so many years, but are you used to living separately?"
I said, "Although I am not used to it for the time being, it is also a fact that must be accepted in life."
When children grow up, they will always leave their parents, live alone and accept the test of life. I can't always live with my children.
Because I firmly believe that no matter how beautiful things are, they will die one day, and if we want this beauty to continue, we must give it proper preservation at the right time.
I think this is the best time to quit.
0 1, have an independent space and live as you please.
Since my daughter-in-law married my son, during the seven years we lived together, I regarded her as my own child and never had any contradiction.
She is sensible, hardworking and diligent. I am the fulcrum of my family, do a good job in logistics and take good care of my grandson. The young couple are struggling in their careers and run a good business.
Over time, I think they should have their own lives instead of seeing my shadow everywhere in life every day.
Because my existence, unconsciously, will cause their psychological burden, after all, they are still young, and my existence is also an obstacle in many ways.
For example, they want to sleep late, and I walk around the room, talking about this and that, which is also an influence on them.
Or what private topics, behaviors and actions can't be revealed naturally because of their existence.
Therefore, young people still need their own independent space, and they can do what they like, uncontrolled and undisturbed, so that their minds can be relaxed, which is more conducive to physical and mental health.
02. Learn to manage and do housework independently.
In fact, I am very willing to help them with housework. First of all, I am a person who likes to do things very much, and I do things seriously and thoroughly.
The house is always clean and tidy, and there can't be a little mess.
Even though I have two grandchildren, I still keep my home clean and tidy as always.
Although it takes a little time and energy to do this, I have always enjoyed it because I have always been an obsessive-compulsive disorder patient. Once a habit is hard to change.
Therefore, I do all the housework by myself. I even think they have to do housework, but I'm still not at ease. I'm afraid the clothes are not cleaned and the house is untidy.
Only when their parents and children have sex once can they feel at ease.
Now considering getting older and worse, I can't do anything. After separation, they can slowly learn to do housework and take care of their small family.
Maybe everyone can't adapt to the new life at first, and they have to do it by themselves every hour, but people grow up day by day, their parents are old and their children are young, and these things must be learned to do.
I think that when they take care of their families and their daily lives, their feelings should be completely different, and they should think a lot in the process of doing things.
Including confidence in life, accepting the test of life, whether you can complete all kinds of problems brought by daily life, how to do it, how to deal with it and so on. They are all tests and exercises for them.
03. Accompany children and cultivate their awareness of learning.
Children need the companionship and training of their parents, and even a good grandmother can't train her grandchildren in the end. Personality, conduct and study are all important to a child's growth.
Grandma has always loved her grandson and doesn't want to impose too many restrictions on her children. Grandson is not afraid of grandma, but his parents. This is human nature.
Take my granddaughter Doudou as an example, but she likes watching cartoons on her mobile phone. If my mother is not around, she is never afraid of me, so she can go and see them boldly.
But her mother is at home and doesn't go back to watch it on her mobile phone. This shows that she is afraid of her mother. I'm afraid my mother will scold her, and I'm afraid my mother will be unhappy.
Yesterday's scene made me laugh. My brother is watching in my bedroom with his mobile phone. My elder sister rushed over, silently took it away, put it under my bedspread, and whispered to my brother, "Mom is here, don't watch it, or you will scold ..."
So, you see, they still need the care and training of their parents, and grandma can't play much role. Too much and too strict, grandma can't do it
Children's good life and study habits, early cultivation of children's awareness of learning, so that they have an environment conducive to growth, is the basis of education.
Write at the end:
It is the wisest choice for parents to quit their children's lives at the right time. Even if a person is a little lonely, it doesn't affect the mood of loving children.
Proper withdrawal not only gives children independent space, but also cultivates their ability to live independently. And I also have independent and quiet space and time to do what I like.
All love in the world is two-way, for the moment of gathering, but only the love of parents and children is separated, from the moment when the umbilical cord is cut, bit by bit. ...
But to love them, we must give them a chance to be free. Everyone is an independent individual and can't be attached to their parents forever.
No matter how high the kite flies, no matter how far the horse runs, the thread is still in my hand. This thread is love, a mother's eternal concern for her children, and love will never fly away. ...