My son always refuses to sit down when eating. Mom: What's wrong with you today? Why are you eating standing up? Son: In today's Chinese class, the teacher said, "Sit on empty seats ..."
★ If you don't get a high score, you can pass the exam. If you don't study hard, you will be smart if you cheat. I am a classroom, but I am free. Novels spread quickly and magazines are frequently turned over. You can pass if you don't get high marks, and you can copy if you don't learn deeply, so you are smart. I am a classroom, but I am quiet, unable to study, unable to listen to music class, thirsty to drink Sprite, sleepy to disco.
★ The wind blows and the rain blows, and the final exam is empty. Usually too carefree. I complained during the exam, but I don't care if the Emperor of Qin, Han and Wu didn't see it. Tang Zongsong's ancestors beat their chests and wept bitterly, and a generation of proud children scolded them without face. How can they be trendy when they walk out of school?
★ There are too many exams, and countless candidates stayed up all night. Cherish Qin Huang Hanwu, too timid, Tang Zong Song Zu, had to copy. A generation of Tianjiao, Genghis Khan, finally handed in a blank sheet of paper. After passing the examination, count the romantic figures and take all the exams again!
The teacher called a classmate to answer the question. This classmate is in a daze and can't speak. The teacher said, is that okay? You won't let me know! This classmate: cheep!
★ The teacher said: I want to move flowers for two people. So I voted for a class flower, took a class, and selected two most beautiful girls. The teacher said: Go to the Academic Affairs Office to move flowers!
The teacher asked the Sports Commission to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him: Go and clean up all the girls in the class. The sports commission is a kid, so he asked, which one? The teacher said: I know I still want you to go!
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★ Students imagine the future and write: I hope to have a healthy child and a husband who really loves me in the future. Teacher's comment: Please pay attention to the order.
★ A junior high school student's English note: the bus father died, yes, the grandfather died, the girl brother died, the little sister died, and the school died.
★ A history teacher asked a student: Who did Princess Wencheng marry? The student replied: I married a Song Dynasty cadre (Songzan Gambu).
★ A boy pretends to claim something, "I lost this." "But," the girl blushed and said, "I found this in the ladies' room. "
★ A girl bought an album "The First Time", and once she didn't know who to borrow it from, she asked the whole class, "Did I give it to you for the first time?"
★ A group of student cadres went to the boys' dormitory to check the hygiene, only to see a couplet posted on the door of a dormitory: "No money, no electricity, no study, talk about women". Ask "no serialization".
★ When the teacher saw the students hand in their books, he was going to find a word to teach him. Suddenly he saw a word "three" and scolded, "I've been looking for you everywhere, but you're lying here sleeping in!" "
★ Professor of Philosophy: A fool's question, 10 a wise man can't answer it. Student: No wonder I failed the exam.
Family humor
★ "Dad, what do you mean by standing at thirty?" "In the past, people were malnourished and could not stand and walk until they were thirty. This is called standing at thirty. "
Help me buy two more fan-shaped acute angle cakes. Beauty is really different. We usually just call that kind of cake triangle cake. After marriage, I also invited my husband to dinner: "Hey, that irregular polyhedron, come here!" "
★ "Son, which apple do you want?" Mom asked. "The biggest." The child has no manners. "Son, you should be polite." "Do you have to lie if you are polite?"
★ "How much do you love me?" "A dime so much!" "That's it?" "Isn't a dime ten cents?"
When the couple arrived at the stadium, the second half of the game had already begun. The husband asked: What was the score on the field? Someone nearby replied: 0 to 0. The wife said: Great, we didn't delay anything.
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★ Mother: "In my opinion, my child is really a child prodigy. He has many unique ideas, doesn't he? " "Yes, madam, especially when remembering new words."
Wife: You used to send me roses. Why don't you send me some now? The husband replied, have you ever seen a fisherman feed him bait after catching a fish?
★ The wife asked her husband: Do you like my gentleness and cuteness or my cleverness and beauty? Husband: I like your sense of humor!