Looking back on the past year is like an illusory dream. The difference is that people often have low back pain outside dreams. The advantage of low back pain is that you don't have to cook, read and play with your baby, and do what you like.
I saw a thick 800-page zimbardo General Psychology, CBT, basic knowledge and skills of psychology, and more than 700 pages of Golden Dream. I read the driving test books back and forth several times, reviewed the psychological foundation and skills, and other parent-child parenting series, long and short stories. ...
It was another spring when I went to Qiu Lai. When the wind blew, the yellow leaves all over the sky danced with the wind. Fallen leaves are like tired butterflies, and I am more like a deflated balloon. I can't imagine that I have been practicing yoga and will be tortured by sudden low back pain like half a disabled person. In severe cases, it is difficult to go to the bathroom. ...
Suddenly, many people in wheelchairs began to appear in front of my eyes. I still remember it was a golden autumn. When I passed a park by the sea, a well-dressed middle-aged man in a Xu Wenqiang hat sat quietly under a tree covered with fallen leaves. I just looked at the distant sky and sea quietly, and I saw a biting beauty and the quiet beauty of autumn leaves. But everyone is eager to have a healthy body. Another time, it was the same place. When I passed by, I clearly saw him struggling to stand up against the tree next to him, starting to exercise and walking with crutches.
I felt a tremor in my heart: how strong and fragile are human beings? Everyone has a desire for health, right? When people are healthy, people often spend money on cars, houses or other material desires to harm their health. They always think that illness is someone else's business and they are healthy! But I don't know that excessive overdraft is healthy. After a long time, problems will suddenly appear. I regretted it then. I just want to give up all my dreams. As long as I have a healthy body and beautiful scenery, everything becomes boring.
In Buddhism, there is a long causal cycle. The disaster seemed to be arranged, but I didn't know it at that time. Growing up, I seldom got sick. I have always liked climbing mountains and running, and I have been running. How can the disease find me again?
When did I become a sister Lin who can fall when the wind blows in the eyes of people around me? I don't feel well. Only after reading "The Story of the Stone" by Rouge Zhai did I really realize the difficulty of Daiyu. A person is supported by medicine when he is an adult, and he can't do without medicine every time. As the saying goes, illness comes like a mountain, and illness goes like reeling. After a long illness, I feel unwell, others don't understand, and I feel that I have added a burden to my family. That kind of inner loneliness and helplessness can only be realized by people who are often sick.
Actually, it's nothing serious. After a long time, you may eventually get sick, and then unconsciously fall into a vicious circle. I don't know whether my body has dragged down my thoughts or whether my psychological fears have aggravated my pain.
Sometimes I find it really strange. I had appendicitis when I was a child. I was rolling in bed in pain. My parents are in Gansu. I took a bottle of medicine and didn't care much, but it doesn't matter as long as I eat regularly. Later, high school finally bought a house and they came back, and the family was reunited, but my body seemed to make up for all the diseases I didn't have before.
When I was a sophomore, my academic performance was very good. I won a first-class scholarship and intend to sprint for a special scholarship. I didn't expect to be in a headache from next semester until I graduated from senior three. My father took me to Xijing Hospital and Gansu Hospital. The doctor said I was neurasthenia, and some said I had a nervous headache. I had a terrible headache when I saw this book. I obviously want to learn more, and my body is just making trouble. I have never eaten less from Chinese medicine to western medicine, but my headache is like a boulder oppression.
It was not until the second year of senior high school that I came out of the psychological morbid feeling, but I always lingered in class. When I am in good shape, my classmates are amazed at my memory. On the contrary, I can't even respond to the most basic feelings. The feeling of living like a year makes me a little depressed. I have always been sunny and optimistic, because the persistent chronic disease is a bit sentimental.
When studying for the tour guide qualification exam, I often have friends to accompany me, and more often books to accompany me. I think it's a good thing to give up treatment. The dean is my uncle's classmate, but his treatment feels like taking drugs. Every time I finish the infusion bottle, I obviously feel in a good state of mind and soon feel weak. ...
I still persist in completing many exams every day in a wandering state, and I feel strong willpower, but I have one thing in common with my two diseases: I can't take care of myself in life!
I am good at taking care of others. I remember going home from college. The driver didn't know the way. I drove the bus around Xi 'an. I'm going to go down to menstruation's house, but they are eager to think that I'm at ease, so I'll stay with them and watch the driver running around. Another time at school, I took care of people around me like a woman, helped me move boxes, and caught a cold in the rain. There are countless such things. I don't seem to be taken care of by the church, but my body has taught me many lessons.
No matter how hard I try, my body always feels lack of energy, and I am always dragged down by my body at critical moments. Perhaps more importantly, I must learn to understand my body first and learn to resume exercise. Recently, the weather is getting colder and colder. I started running. Every time I finish running, I feel rosy, my skin is broken, I am energetic and my mind is flexible! Unconsciously running for more than a month, this is really the best maintenance!
When I passed Nishan Academy in the library, I couldn't help stopping for a long time. If I can't sit for a long time with low back pain, I can also learn guqin. In my dream, whenever I am upset and insomnia, Gang Rinpoche will listen to Wu Na's guqin playing "Water Cloud Zen Heart" and "Water Lotus", which always calms me down, drives away my distractions and makes my heart clear.
I have to pay off my debts, maybe I can learn more knowledge than you. At present, you should take good care of your body and be full of energy, so that you can do what you like better. Bone mineral density has dropped by 20%, and the risk of fracture is high. I insist on walking and running in the sun to make up for it, and I must restore my body before the bone density drops. Be kind to your health, always be grateful, and study in a planned way. If you are in full bloom, it will be cool!
Shi Tiesheng wrote in "On Disease" that disease is also one of life experiences, even a unique trip. Maybe we should thank the pain caused by the disease and let us know that it is not easy to cherish health. Happiness and pain are actually closely related, but when we are happy, we feel that time passes too fast, and we are easily immersed in pain, so we always feel that pain is greater than happiness.
I have always admired Su Dongpo, who is generous in the face of life adversity: a misty rain, a lifetime!
Peace of mind, a stable cabin, and delicious vegetable roots! Nurturing illness is also nourishing the heart. Perhaps it is also a kind of practice, accepting everything and keeping healthy!