In the first case, the family doesn't know or realize that his or her behavior has given you a problem and put you in trouble.
The second kind is that he (she) comes to you even though he (she) clearly knows that coming to you for help will give you problems and get you into trouble. He didn't mean to, but he was cornered by the situation.
In the first case, the solution is relatively simple, that is, tell your family about your difficulties, let them know and understand your situation, and then seek other solutions.
For example, last year's hit TV series "Everything is OK", Su Mingyu's father Su Daqiang was going to find his eldest son Su Mingzhe, Su Mingyu's eldest brother, but Su Mingzhe suddenly lost his job.
Because of saving face, Su Mingzhe never told his family about it, including his father Su Daqiang.
Su Mingzhe's family living abroad is under great pressure, and it is not very smooth to find a job. If Su Daqiang goes, the pressure will definitely be even greater.
But because he didn't communicate with his family in time, Su Daqiang thought that his family didn't welcome him, so he had a misunderstanding with his father.
Therefore, it is very necessary to communicate with family members in time.
The second situation is more common and the most difficult in real life.
As the saying goes, "it is difficult for an honest official to break housework." Why is it so hard to break? Mainly because it is mixed with too many emotional components, it is not easy to choose.
I believe my family must have gone through an ideological struggle before asking you for help. He (she) thought about it before asking for help. If it weren't for necessity, he or she wouldn't give you a problem and embarrass you, especially our parents.
I once saw an interesting survey. When 90% children encounter difficulties, they will first ask their parents for help. However, when parents encounter difficulties, they seldom ask their children for help. ?
Even the evil mother like Pan Guiyu in the TV series "Anjia" desperately squeezed her daughter Fang Sijing's hard-earned money, not for herself.
The concept of son preference has been deeply rooted in her bones, so her maternal love is only for her son, and she is still selfless to his son.
Of course, in reality, there are very few mothers like Pan Guiyu.
Last winter, my mother-in-law was in hospital for half a month because of high blood pressure and slight cerebral hemorrhage. My husband and I were in the field, and she kept it from us until she was discharged from the hospital. If it weren't for a relative's phone, we wouldn't know.
In the mother-in-law's words, if you can leave the children alone, you won't disturb them. Inherit the wind.
Then again, what is family? Don't you just want to find a way to rely on each other and help each other when you are in trouble?
He (she) is desperate. As a family member, it is impossible to stand by and watch.
Because you helped him (her), you might have been in trouble, but the trouble was temporary. I believe that through the unremitting efforts of your family, you will definitely get out of the predicament.
But it should be noted that what we are talking about here is a dilemma, not a desperate situation.
If you help him (her), your life has been irretrievably hurt, even to a desperate situation, which can't be helped.
It's like someone falling into the water. You can't swim, but you jump into the water regardless. Not only can't save others, but you will also be miserable by yourself. This way of saving lives is not desirable, and children know the truth.
So, if this is the case, we must think of other ways to deal with it.